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Author
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Topic: Can't stop thinking about ex, getting back together...?
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deepseablues
unregistered
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posted November 01, 2014 05:41 PM
 
Lately I can't stop thinking about my ex and missing so much and almost wanting to get back together. I felt pretty strong the couple months after we had broken up like I took some of my power back etc. But lately I just miss all our good memories and his company so much. I'm so confused. I don't know what's right anymore. We had a pretty intense nearly six year relationship. A lot of good and a lot of really tough/bad too. Were almost never separated after our first and only "date." Have written some about some of the experiences in other threads... We fail iQ's soul mate calculator horrendously but he was the best relationship I've ever had and one of the only people on this Earth who has ever made me feel loved, and I've never been so comfortable with another as him, we could talk about anything. We were best friends. If anyone is willing to look at our Synastry/Composite here I'd really love and appreciate any thoughts on it, general thoughts, or if being/getting back together would be terrible, if we are not meant to be together... The relationship ended very unexpectedly and not at the same time... very confusing, hard to explain... We are meeting to go for a walk for the first time in 2.5 months tomorrow...
Thanks for looking  I'm really confused and lost.   IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
unregistered
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posted November 01, 2014 05:53 PM
That composite doesn't look promising. Sun and Moon in Virgo square Uranus. It will have hard time ever being a stable relationship. I'd say move on to someone better.IP: Logged |
deepseablues
unregistered
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posted November 01, 2014 08:10 PM
Thanks for the input and thoughts athenegoddess. I don't really understand composite or how to read them. It's hard for me to imagine there could be someone better, and, well I don't have the confidence for that anyway. Still going to meet for the walk though. I feel like I need some closure or something I can't put into words. It just ended so abruptly.IP: Logged |
ikja
unregistered
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posted November 01, 2014 08:13 PM
Hey,I'm not going to comment from a purely astrological standpoint, although I know I probably should. I'm probably advising you because I'm in a similar situation to you where the stars are not neccessarily in my favour. What I would say is embrace the fact that you have been given another chance to make a "first impression" and try and walk with him without expectation. I know it's hard, but you need to go into this 'new' situation knowing everything that you have learned and using it to your advantage. I'm not going to disagree with the composite chart and say that it's incorrect, but there are lessons that you could probably learn from it if you both decide to give your relationship another go. From what I have been reading, if your natal charts and synastry charts can help balance out the unfavourable aspects of the composite, you still have a chance. However, deal with that later. Not before your first meet. Just stay calm and stay present, take this new journey a day at a time. Wishing you all the best x ------------------
When in doubt, ask questions. ❤ Sun: ♊, Asc: ♏, Moon: ♈, Mars: ♈, Venus: ♉, Mercury: ♊, Jupiter: ♋ IP: Logged |
deepseablues
unregistered
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posted November 01, 2014 08:22 PM
Thanks for your advice ikja, I will be taking it. I definitely do not have any expectations for the meeting tomorrow and don't even know if I really want to get back together. There were just so many good times too and I miss that. But I have learned and grown a lot I feel even in the 2.5 months since we have not been together and I have been taking it one day at a time and plan to continue with that, no expectations and no plans for the future. Thank you for taking the time to look and write. IP: Logged |
starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1824
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 01, 2014 09:15 PM
your synastry is good. you guys have house overlays to the 5th/7th/8th so it's fairly easy to see why you ended up in a relationship together. the composite isn't terrible, but it does show instability, with uranus square to almost every personal planet. you also have the moon and venus doing very little in the composite, which doesn't always bode well for a couple. perhaps it just ran it's course. 6 years isn't a fail and since you;re only 2 months out it's totally natural to want to drift back. that would be easier than moving on.IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 18271
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 03:20 AM
I'm sorry, I have to contradict the previous opinions here: this composite is not unstable. On the contrary, it's a very good one.
Uranus conj MC is making a Cross with ASC/DSC axis AND Vertex axis AND Sun conjunct Moon, Juno/Alma ( a good marital pair) AND Vertex AND DSC! This is a very stable configuration! Vertex conj DSC is classical for marriage. Sun conj Moon is classical for marriage. Sun conj DSC is classical for marriage. This huge conjunction on DSC is an exceptional composite aspect to have.
Uranus is the ruler of the 12th house and the ASC is in Pisces - in a way, Uranus rules this chart. Its placement on MC is a very favorable aspect. In the composite, angle rulers on angles show a relationship meant to exist, a relationship with a destiny, a purpose, especially on the proactive angles: ASC, MC, DSC also and a cross is the most stable astrological structure. A cross with angles, vertex axis, chart ruler, Sun/Moon/Juno more than anything. I don't know whether you'll get back or not, and it seems your synastry has some unaspected planets, but you can be sure that's an exceptionally good composite.  ------------------ I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... IP: Logged |
starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1824
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 02, 2014 10:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
I'm sorry, I have to contradict the previous opinions here: this composite is not unstable. On the contrary, it's a very good one.
Uranus conj MC is making a Cross with ASC/DSC axis AND Vertex axis AND Sun conjunct Moon, Juno/Alma ( a good marital pair) AND Vertex AND DSC! This is a very stable configuration! Vertex conj DSC is classical for marriage. Sun conj Moon is classical for marriage. Sun conj DSC is classical for marriage. This huge conjunction on DSC is an exceptional composite aspect to have.
Uranus is the ruler of the 12th house and the ASC is in Pisces - in a way, Uranus rules this chart. Its placement on MC is a very favorable aspect. In the composite, angle rulers on angles show a relationship meant to exist, a relationship with a destiny, a purpose, especially on the proactive angles: ASC, MC, DSC also and a cross is the most stable astrological structure. A cross with angles, vertex axis, chart ruler, Sun/Moon/Juno more than anything. I don't know whether you'll get back or not, and it seems your synastry has some unaspected planets, but you can be sure that's an exceptionally good composite.
perhaps she should go and propose with all those "classical aspects to marriage?" seems it isn't such a great composite if they are no longer together eh? you can have sun conjunct to whatever you want, but when venus and moon aren't getting any action, where is a deeper love relationship coming from? the vertex isn't even a planet, it's a point within the chart for growth, and their growth is seemingly done. a vertex near the to the DSC = growth for the couple, not necessarily marriage. uranus conjunct the MC is a really bad placement; it strives for outward individualism and not togetherness, and it's sitting square to their composite moon, so the relationship wouldn't be solid and might have a lot of breaks up and makes ups and disruption. uranus is not the chart ruler, it just rules the 12th. it's not a horrible composite but certainly not one that'll have them walking into marital bliss. IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
unregistered
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posted November 02, 2014 11:50 AM
That is an exceptionally good composite if you prefer relationships that are never stable, committed and grounded. Lol. This composite is not good at all. I've experienced one just like it.. Sun square Uranus, and its with someone who i care for but it just wasn't deep enough for long term love. too many problems, differences, and especially insecurities. IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6638
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 12:10 PM
quote:
Originally posted by deepseablues:
I felt pretty strong the couple months after we had broken up like I took some of my power back etc.
Okay. Explain this part? IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6638
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 12:24 PM
Do me a favour, too, and add in EROS (433) and PSYCHE (16) with VALENTINE (447) and ISIS (42) and OSIRIS (1923).I know you said you 'failed the filtre horrendously', but honestly, so did my Twin and I except for maybe, possibly, ONE very wide aspect. I appreciate iQ's filtre; it helps TREMENDOUSLY to get started, but it's not perfect. It misses some things. You have a strong composite. You do. SUN-MOON, MERC nearby; VX/DSC, JUNO/ALMA ... But, to be frank, my Twin was (is?) abusive. He's going through his first Saturn Return now, and I hope to God he comes out of it wiser. But it brought me to HAVE to decide -- I HAD to walk away. Like you've mentioned, he was my best friend. My writing partner. We were even developing a series together. I had to choose to walk away from A LOT for my OWN sake. If when you leave, you feel as if you've 'taken your power back' -- that's a huge thing here. A healthy relationship will NOT make you feel as if you've recovered your power when you leave. Ever. IP: Logged |
deepseablues
unregistered
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posted November 02, 2014 12:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Okay. Explain this part?
Ok... Basically because he struggles with heroin addiction. He had used before we got together and was on methadone at the time (now it is called methadose here) and I helped him get off of it. He was totally clean for 4 years and we had a pretty great relationship minus my depression issues and a couple of events that were straining on the relationship. During his Saturn Return (when Pluto was transiting my Asc/saturn/neptune, opposite jupiter) he had a relapse. I tried to help him get clean for almost two years, but he lied a lot and screwed me over financially in the end. I ended up kicking him out a few months ago when I found out he was still lying to me about money etc and never let him back in. Before that I'd felt like I couldn't make it alone or live without him. I grew up with drug addicts so I've seen how it changes people, how they essentially become possessed by the drug and turn into someone else. So I have a pretty deep understanding of addictions so it's easier for me to forgive the actions people take when they are addicted as I know it's not truly them, cause they would never do those things without the influence of the drug that they are weak to. I know that our trust has been broken pretty much beyond repair but I can't help missing what we had before the drug relapse and wanting him to get better so he can be who he used to be. I don't know I was just feeling so reminiscent and nostalgic it was/sometimes takes over. I know things will never be the same but the relationship definitely felt fated and karmic in many ways. He texted me for my bday this last week and we have communicated through text over the past week and it has brought back all my good memories and been overwhelming. I only have one family member that I even consider myself semi-close to, an aunt, who has always remembered my birth day and though I am single for the first time in a long time this year she has totally forgotten and still not remembered, so it's made me feel lonely and forgotten whereas my ex with a heroin addiction can remember better than someone clean and stable. It's just made me feel like it has shown who really loves/cares for me even if he has his own issues. Someone really psychic said we are not right for each other and that I will meet someone right for me when I'm 28-30 but that I probably won't recognize them so I feel pretty hopeless. Please don't quote I might edit this. IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 18271
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 12:35 PM
 Athene, giving astrological advice based on your personal experiences is wrong - our personal experiences are limited, unless you're the Highlander and have lived for thousands of years and experienced hundreds of relationships and having done astrology ever since.Starmoon and Athene, what is this, why isolating a square when you have a cross involving both angles, Sun, Moon, Vertex axis, Juno, and planet Uranus?
It makes me think you read on some website the description of Sun square Uranus and now you're applying it to everything you see. Sorry, but this is how it sounds. This kind of simplistic recipes don't work, and that's why many long-term couples defy these recipes of yours: for example Uranus on angles is present in the relationships between Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt, Robert and Elizabeth Browning, Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks (Uranus AND Moon conj MC), Goldie Hawn/ Kurt Russel (Uranus on IC 2 deg) etc etc etc. Where do you guys get your ideas??? certainly not from studying synastries. Because for someone studying synastries, knowing Vertex conj DSC is a marital marker is a beginner's info. You know why?? Because after you study 100 charts, you notice it's present in 70! And what the hell is "Moon and Venus aren't getting any action"? You mean, there's no composite aspect between Moon and Venus so the composite is not valid and those two don't love each other? Where did this come from? Famous long term couples like Linda and Paul, Joanne and Paul, the ones I mentioned above (with the exception of Rita and Tom) DON'T have Moon Venus contacts in the composite. Care to see a bigger list? Or maybe you could explain this Moon/Venus theory better, with examples, convince us their relationship wasn't valid? This chart is ruled by Neptune, ASC is in Pisces. The first house of this chart - the identity of the couple - is also reflected by the 12th house - traditionally ruled by Pisces - as Lotis White says, the secondary 1st house. 12th cusp is in Aqua, that's why Uranus (and Saturn) is the secondary ruler of this chart. ------------------ I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6638
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 12:36 PM
Oh. Okay. Addiction. That's .... thank you for telling me. It very well may be one of those cases where, unless certainly 'deal breakers' are amended -- the relationship is not good for the long term.I'm so sorry. IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6638
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 12:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Athene, giving astrological advice based on your personal experiences is wrong - our personal experiences are limited, unless you're the Highlander and have lived for thousands of years and experienced hundreds of relationships and having done astrology ever since.
 Sorry. I have SUCH a pet peeve when it comes to using anecdotal evidence as The Way Of Things. But the Highlander comment just flat out had me rolling.  Despite my 'experiences', I still stick with science. Good ol' fashioned research. IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 18271
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 12:44 PM
I am sorry to hear that, deepseablues. That's a harsh addiction and very few make it - I mean get rid of it. If you managed to distance yourself from him, maybe it's best to keep it this way. It's too much of a wild card and it engulfs your life. But if you must, give him more moooore time, to make sure he got rid of it and ONLY maintain a friendship in the meantime. He needs a lot of support and you don't need an addict boyfriend. ------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
unregistered
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posted November 02, 2014 12:57 PM
deepseablues, when the relationship doesn't work out. let us all know, and lee especially, because she doesn't understand how to read composite charts. you don't come in and put your own rules and especially try to highlight bits that are inferior to the Sun and Moon aspects in a composite chart. People should spend less time analyzing charts and more time analyzing how relationships unfold aside from your daydreaming wishful thinking, and pointless rationalizing. IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
unregistered
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posted November 02, 2014 01:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Sorry. I have SUCH a pet peeve when it comes to using anecdotal evidence as The Way Of Things. But the Highlander comment just flat out had me rolling. Despite my 'experiences', I still stick with science. Good ol' fashioned research.
Actually I have lived thousands of years, and do have advanced knowledge. And just because I mentioned one relationship doesn't mean that is the end to my experiences. I've had plenty of them.
And astrology is a spiritual science. It's never going to be more than that Aubyanne. Get over yourself and stop saying you use science like its some tangible sophisticated controlled study. I don't see you publishing research from your so called science. Its just bunch of nonsense to be honest. Astrology is personal but there are also fixed rules. Uranus is instability. Sun is the Ego and heart of an entity. When they clash, things are going to be unstable.
IP: Logged |
deepseablues
unregistered
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posted November 02, 2014 01:11 PM
Thanks for the kind condolences guys. Addiction really is one of the most heartbreaking things because you watch people become people they are not at heart. I know it probably would not be a good idea to get back together or be anything more than friends at this point I just get overwhelmed with nostalgia like I said and it's hard to let go. Although I don't believe in marriage for myself I don't think we ever would have broken up if not for the relapse. Thanks to all for looking and giving their opinions I really needed some advice and support on this issue because I often feel so alone it feels like I could go back sometimes and it's hard to stay strong. He is a really sweet, kind and gentle person when not being influenced by any substance. He claims to be clean (except for methadose) but the events that led up to us breaking up would state otherwise. The whole thing really destroyed me emotionally and financially and there a couple people who I know would be very unimpressed if we did get back together. I don't think we actually will but its hard not to wish. I want to be friends but he said it would be too hard for him to bury the feelings he has for me. Am posting the composite/synastry with those Asteriods Aubyanne even if it is just for research purposes. 
 IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 18271
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 01:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by athenegoddess:
deepseablues, when the relationship doesn't work out. let us all know, and lee especially, because she doesn't understand how to read composite charts. you don't come in and put your own rules and especially try to highlight bits that are inferior to the Sun and Moon aspects in a composite chart. People should spend less time analyzing charts and more time analyzing how relationships unfold aside from your daydreaming wishful thinking, and pointless rationalizing.
OK Highlander and Enlightened Christ Consciousness - you're pretty aggressive for this self-title, don't you think?, start with the OP They've already HAD a relationship and it's ongoing (unfortunately lol sorry DSB) so yes, a relationship of almost 6 years was possible with this chart. And Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have been married for 26 years! What about checking Goldie and Kurt Russel? And yes, astrology is research, based on the research of thousands or at least hundreds of charts and this research gives you the moral right to come here and offer advice which some people take very seriously, so you should take counselling serious too. Without this research, you don't have this moral right, not to mention the expertise, and you, as a moral enlightened immortal person should know it better than all of us 
Sun and Moon are conjunct in this chart.
------------------ I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6638
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 01:24 PM
Damn. Yeah. You're probably Twins. So, look at it this way. Consider it done. Move on. If, in the future, things change dramatically for the better, allowing for a healthy relationship, then -- congrats! If not, take this as a test of endurance, and live your life without him the best that you can. I speak from experience.  IP: Logged |
Vajra
Knowflake Posts: 1737
From: Europe
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted November 02, 2014 01:27 PM
.IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6638
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 01:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
OK Highlander and Enlightened Christ Consciousness - you're pretty aggressive for this self-title, don't you think?, start with the OP They've already HAD a relationship and it's ongoing (unfortunately lol sorry DSB) so yes, a relationship of almost 6 years was possible with this chart. And Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have been married for 26 years! What about checking Goldie and Kurt Russel?
More than likely applies to their open marriage, you know? My husband and I have URA strong, too, in our composite. And, heh, cURA is RIGHT on the cASC with my partner. And I concur that cSUN/MOON is strong. Damn, is it strong. Better or worse; even if you're not really talking, THEY'RE THERE. IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6638
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 01:32 PM
Can I just say, AGAIN, that it's COMPLETELY possible to NOT decide to be with your Twin Flame?IF THEY ARE NOT GOOD FOR YOU, THEY ARE NOT GOOD FOR YOU. That's reality, and sometimes it's VERY sad. But, we're never left high and dry. Sometimes, we have to learn these VERY hard lessons. We DESERVE love and happiness. We do. Hang in there, deepseablues. IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 18271
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted November 02, 2014 01:35 PM
Thank you, Vajra Deepseablues, I apologize I got so inflamed and contributed to diverting your personal matter to an astrological debate.I understand what you're going through, unfortunately. One of my best friends and a former love has been a heroin addict. He has been clean for almost 10 years now, so there is hope. However, the danger always remains, floating, with heroin. You must take this into consideration, as a friend. ------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... IP: Logged | |
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