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Author
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Topic: A difficult/beautiful connection (needing help today)
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Elysia Knowflake Posts: 1076 From: Gotham Registered: Aug 2015
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posted January 08, 2016 02:35 PM
quote: Originally posted by yungang_grotto: I haven't given up in TEN YEARS of zero communication.
Brings a lump in the throat. IP: Logged |
Orange Knowflake Posts: 4161 From: Georgia Registered: May 2009
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posted January 08, 2016 02:46 PM
OMG, what a coincidence.
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yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted January 08, 2016 05:41 PM
That is an interesting coincidence, Orange. It is of course the Aries in the "middle" here, although really, Virgo and I love each other pretty well. Visiting today was really wonderful. I now have the birth details of her partner and I can see why she wants both men in her life. The partner she is with activates her Saturn and her Juno much much more, his Sun is on her North Node and her Sun is on his South Node... We were able to share openly about basically everything, it was really wonderful. This person is truly amazing, and the mutual feelings of love and support and honesty and presence are tangible and real. It's a really inspiring situation. I basically told her I love their love and want him to be happy, and her also... and told her about their Moons being conjunct and we discussed that feeling of closeness. I noted her Juno being under-activated and her Saturn, and she confirmed she doesn't see it as turning into that particular kind of partnership, but is admantly unwilling to give up the friendship/connection which inherently involves romance (and I wouldn't want her to! Unfortuantely her partner does sort of want her to but I've offered to talk to him lol... I think he'll come around to seeing it's really good for everyone). I'm inspired right now by everybody's maturity and honesty and the power of true love... which is circling in abundance here. It's ok if he can't commit to me, but I think he might just possibly come around to the notion that it's ok to do so, especially as she is very committed elsewhere, and it would be... like a balance kinda... and he would get to have someone by his side rather than be lonesome, could be with me sometimes. I just want to maintain our friendship. And cuddle... and create a beautiful paradise in the forest lol that's all. Anyway I do really appreciate everybody's honesty here. I really do, Bluejay, and Orange... still working on remaining humble and taking well meant advice. IP: Logged |
mir Knowflake Posts: 2327 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 08, 2016 07:44 PM
quote: The Scorpio waits patiently and is willing to ride the current situation out until I'm over the Aries and back to him, but the moment I float towards him and away from the Aries, he lashes out at me for causing him pain and a heartache.
That's ^ me. Knowing myself pretty well by now hehe (scorp moon ey) There are more coincidences in this thread, about the DW S/V opposition, not? ;D (I know Orange also has) I/we made a stop for (at least) now btw. We just called and I said I'm losing my spontaneous Self because of this all. Being totally true to myself. He had the impression that I'm filling in too much myself / making it my own story ('bout him & her) .. but well, other circumstances (financially / distance) also are playing a role now. And.. we have an upcoming pVenus/nSun square! It all falls at its place progressed wise.
quote: and she confirmed she doesn't see it as turning into that particular kind of partnership, but is admantly unwilling to give up the friendship/connection which inherently involves romance
That's ^ the feeling I got all along. More of a friendship with a bit of a romantic undertone. Ok, him making it a big fairytale is another thing ofcouse, but that more points to a lack of experience also. After all, when reality kicks in and a settlement is made we often see the true implications of our dreamy journey and let's be honest, what do we all truly want in our deepest? Ofcourse, someone truly loving us as only on love we can build a long life together.
And the progressed fact is, that their outstanding syna Venus/Mars opposition (of this girl & him) was considerably enhanced by his pVenus. They indeed have an exceptionally strong Venus/Mars connection (DW trine & opp. EXACT both) in their synastry so there will Always be 'something' but his 'obsession' for this girl started under the above mentioned pV progression which .. well, falls at its place! And another outstanding fact of their 'pleasant combined energies' is that they have an opposing Sun/Moon phase in their synastry. That simply 'fits'. Their 'progressed future' doesn't predict more than they already have now, it will rather be a fading matter because of the more and more separating pVenus trine. However YUN, (I forgot to add that) is going through a pVenus/nSun conjunction almost at its peak right now (minute matter). She's (socially) very attractive and relationships OFTEN start under these personal S/V ones. Even better, it's connected to his pSun for the upcoming decade. Growing stronger and stronger (it's slightly less than 2 deg applying now).
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yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted January 08, 2016 08:13 PM
They'll never lose their connection and I don't want them to. They're at a show together right now and I hope they have a fantastic evening! My pVenus-NSun is also on my pAscendant... lol... it's nuts. This 21 Scorpio place is kinda where a lot of the magic was stored up in my charts this life time... so i guess I'm hoping it goes well...  IP: Logged |
Orange Knowflake Posts: 4161 From: Georgia Registered: May 2009
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posted January 08, 2016 10:54 PM
It's an interesting coincidence, Yung and Mir. I am reading this with a such an interest.IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014 Knowflake Posts: 17654 From: Venus cornering Neptune Registered: Mar 2014
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posted January 09, 2016 04:48 PM
Ahh Yun that Yod Wedge in your synastry, pretty hard to escape. Lots of similiarities between your charts too. But I don't see true happiness coming from this for you, more like a Scorpio "on the edge" temptation of mystique, fascination, dangerous liaisons and delightful despair, I had to say it.  ------------------ I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... LeeLoo's Esotericorner IP: Logged |
mir Knowflake Posts: 2327 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 09, 2016 04:52 PM
Wow Orange! ^ a Sun/Venus conj applying! And u tell us this only now?? ;D
quote: If only, if only, I could just get them to agree to tolerate each other, I'd so live with 2 husbands under the same roof.
That would even be my ultimate dream
quote: Also my progressed Venus at 22' Scorpio is currently in applying opposition to Aries's progressed Sun at 20' Taurus.
Is that ^ a retro Venus?
EDIT@ indeed, I looked at it; exact early 2021. Verrry slow pVenus. At your pAsc/Desc axis then. So, that is also a long one for Scorpio then! Orange.. I remember you saying once you have a progressed Composite Sun/Venus conj applying with one for-life?
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LeeLoo2014 Knowflake Posts: 17654 From: Venus cornering Neptune Registered: Mar 2014
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posted January 09, 2016 05:14 PM
I noticed this, in myself, and others, how our relationships mirror how we are at some point, it's as if life isn't even real, it's more of a dream, a projection of ourselves, as wise crazy beautiful people have always said  The relationships that come to us, and their patterns, are in perfect tune with something we project, we give. As someone who's lived metamorphosis after metamorphosis and several alter egos, I can attest to that. Astrologically, this is seen in my heavy 8th house, but I think any heavily influenced Scorpio can understand what I mean. I plunged into the depths of misery, chaos, restructuring...the relationships were perfectly alike. It's funny we think they are the ones causing misery, excitement, despair, instability, passion and mutuality, or the opposite, stillness, boredom but nooo I know now it is us, I did it, I feel now I attracted everything there was in my life, or transformed it as such, with my touch, my presence, my projection. The best part is when you start using this discovery consciously, to manifest what you want, decide.IP: Logged |
Orange Knowflake Posts: 4161 From: Georgia Registered: May 2009
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posted January 09, 2016 07:19 PM
quote: Originally posted by mir: @ indeed, I looked at it; exact early 2021. Verrry slow pVenus. At your pAsc/Desc axis then.
It's very slow due to p Venus turning retro in a few years
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mir Knowflake Posts: 2327 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 09, 2016 07:55 PM
Yes I got that all ^. I meant, so Wow it's also a long one for Scorp! (because of your slowwww pVenus)It really is typical ey, both Suns (one p / one n) under that influence of your pVenus. And let's not forget, that in the progressed realm (at least there) Sun/Venus stands head and shoulders above the rest. So it's getting even stronger with Aries also. IP: Logged |
Orange Knowflake Posts: 4161 From: Georgia Registered: May 2009
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posted January 09, 2016 08:10 PM
yes, my dear Mir, Yes. My p Venus is slow because it's going to turn retro in 2027, so it's crawling one step at a time. It just happens that the degree is on their both Suns! Life is cruel, or a dare. IP: Logged |
mir Knowflake Posts: 2327 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 10, 2016 08:15 PM
wrong thread IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted January 10, 2016 09:56 PM
quote: Originally posted by LeeLoo2014: Ahh Yun that Yod Wedge in your synastry, pretty hard to escape. Lots of similiarities between your charts too. But I don't see true happiness coming from this for you, more like a Scorpio "on the edge" temptation of mystique, fascination, dangerous liaisons and delightful despair, I had to say it. 
would love to hear more of your reasoning here LeeLoo. I feel like he is part of my destiny; to propel me into the right path and teach me about the best way to be in the world. He forces this unrelenting self reflection which at its core involves total self love and respect. But he does indeed bring out in me self doubt and difficult emotions as well as a sense of rightness. It's like I'm being pushed forward to learn and grow in a lot of intense ways. So yes it's not an easy, "happy" thing necessarily but nor do i see it as simply an intrigue or drama. It feels important... and i do feel happy with him though not necessarily totally secure perhaps, it's true. We're sort of in a re-building trust stage at the moment. Sometimes I'm almost tempted to just call it off but I can't.. there's just no way I can do that to him or myself. It's not the right thing to do. I'm really curious why you're saying that though. I respect you as an astrologer and want your help as a friend. I need to understand what's going on here as in depth as possible. we do have a lot of similarities... I'm working on not delighting in despair but there is indeed a mystique and fascination which might equate to that. The real experiences of joy and communion and deep understanding are real though. And indeed I'm calling it all in. The t Uranus-Venus opposition right now combined with my progressed Venus situation is making me ripe for an "on the edge" experience. Honestly i wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not looking for someone to settle into a routine with. I want to stay on my toes and live like a warrior... each moment full to the brim with possibility. That's how he is and it is good for someone to kick my lazy butt into gear just joking -sort of. IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted January 10, 2016 10:53 PM
Never heard the term yod wedge... would you expand on the meaning of that here? I'll look into it myself too  IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted January 10, 2016 11:13 PM
I like our house overlays better :P heh...But yeah... I'm going back and forth a lot. I know I'm like... saying I'll never give up on this thing... but honestly it's hard, it's really very hard. Right now the dynamic is that he'd obviously prefer to be with her which is just so hard. Before it really felt like i was definitely the Centre of his attention... and you guys are right.. i really do like that.. but really since she saw us together she's been drawing him closer and he can't resist. It's rough. Pat Geisler writes in her book that a third party trying to make a go with a person in a relationship with a Moon-Moon conjunction will find their connection as ephemeral as smoke on a windy day if the other Moon person makes amends/apologizes. It is so strange that of all the things she could have written that is what she wrote. Sometimes i think maybe if he and i can build something over time it will be solid and he will feel as much of a connection or devotion to me but... yeah it's hard at the moment. I don't want to be on the back burner and i really am willing to give it my all which winds up embarrassing. However i do have lots of stuff going on in my own life right now... and i am actually more happy now that he's only around every couple days but the obsessive Pluto squares in the composite are still very much at play on my end and his distance (even though we talked an hour on the phone this evening and it was great) is so markedcompared to being here every day that iit is painful and hard to adjust to. IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014 Knowflake Posts: 17654 From: Venus cornering Neptune Registered: Mar 2014
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posted January 12, 2016 01:39 PM
quote: Originally posted by yungang_grotto: would love to hear more of your reasoning here LeeLoo. I feel like he is part of my destiny; to propel me into the right path and teach me about the best way to be in the world. He forces this unrelenting self reflection which at its core involves total self love and respect. But he does indeed bring out in me self doubt and difficult emotions as well as a sense of rightness. It's like I'm being pushed forward to learn and grow in a lot of intense ways. So yes it's not an easy, "happy" thing necessarily but nor do i see it as simply an intrigue or drama. It feels important... and i do feel happy with him though not necessarily totally secure perhaps, it's true. We're sort of in a re-building trust stage at the moment. Sometimes I'm almost tempted to just call it off but I can't.. there's just no way I can do that to him or myself. It's not the right thing to do. I'm really curious why you're saying that though. I respect you as an astrologer and want your help as a friend. I need to understand what's going on here as in depth as possible. we do have a lot of similarities... I'm working on not delighting in despair but there is indeed a mystique and fascination which might equate to that. The real experiences of joy and communion and deep understanding are real though. And indeed I'm calling it all in. The t Uranus-Venus opposition right now combined with my progressed Venus situation is making me ripe for an "on the edge" experience. Honestly i wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not looking for someone to settle into a routine with. I want to stay on my toes and live like a warrior... each moment full to the brim with possibility. That's how he is and it is good for someone to kick my lazy butt into gear just joking -sort of.
There's a very strong attraction/fascination in the synastry, and the Yod Wedge (the trapezoid, the interconnected Yods) keeps you in there at least until a certain time/sequence occurs. I am sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like I am minimizing your experience; it's just that I've reached very simple "laws of love" for myself, and also trying to look for them when doing astrology, and to mention them. I think the simplest rule now is that being loved and falling in love makes you feel unique, the one who is in love with you and is able to love, will have eyes only for you; it's a primordial part of experiencing being loved, having someone in love with you, this exclusiveness, it's part of the definition. I see this as reality and reflecting the true beatitude and torment of love, not as a model from fairy tales. This is what happens when it is happening and everything else is below. And life is too short for love surrogates. If your lover can't make you feel the unique, amazing person that you are, if you don't see it in his eyes, then there's nothing he can do for you. Love is a vehicle for us to feel our irreplicable uniqueness, the wonders that we are. ------------------ I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... LeeLoo's Esotericorner IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted January 13, 2016 03:59 PM
Mmm.. I'm beginning to come around to a similar mind frame i think he's there too... sometimes i have no doubt about it; he needs to recognize that this girl isn't there for him in the way that really counts. He needs to let go of wanting the unattainable. He needs to grow up.he is struggling a great deal right now because he sees as his patterns, his mistakes. His Jupiter/Uranus on his descendant makes it very difficult for him.. Among other things It is becoming clear that i am real and here and preparedto give it my all. We're planning on having another chat about commitment i think soon.. The thing with the other girl must be concluded if we are to commit, which he said to me and i angrily responded it never would be... wrong answer. We're going back over that one now because i should have listened closer. Cause it sounds like he will commit to me if he can resolve this with her. He feels responsible for her emotionally as well he should; having romanced her these two years (he is fairly irresistible). Now she is suffering because she can see he's really in love and I'm her words "what's he is like when he can actually BE with someone" (me; very very sweet). So anyway. Evolving understanding. I think it was maybe immature of me to say it doesn't need to be one or the other of us because obviously it is straight up a choice between us So the choice is; the unavailable person who gives most of her time to this other guy--or me? I AM awesome and i will keep being awesome. If we aren't right for each other--so be it. But i have a hunch that we are. I'm reaching a true state of equilibrium right now. Had a consultation with Dawn at the inner wheel and she thought we have a very solid/growth oriented draconic synastry situation as well as an extremely promising Davison chart, with which I agree. thanks for your input Lee <3 it's wise and i get where you're coming from. He is just full of yods this guy... in his progressed as well it's kind of nuts... really having a hard time. I'm here for him and also asserting my needs (which is actually another way of being good to him). Lots of learning. Lots of growth. IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted February 27, 2016 09:02 PM
Ok! I'm so embarrassed about how I responded to some of the helpful and wise input on this thread so far (Dancing Maenead and Bluejay <3 sorry!).A forum like this is so good for gaining perspective on my own shortcomings and blind spots.. I'm just dredging this thread up to provide a bit of an update and to say: their respective nodal axises are on the composite asc/desc and mc/ic!! Did you ever!?? More in a minute.. IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted February 27, 2016 09:12 PM
She is temporarily lodging at her mom's house because her boyfriend said she has to choose between the two of them and she's taking space to mull everything over. I think she told her boyfriend how much she cares for D and he just can't live with it. Makes sense. D just told me this yesterday and there followed some veryintense mutual crying stuff and me pointing out that he DOES compare the two of us and that this is natural and lots of other truths got said... It all concluded in a cuddle puddle with my daughter who has a cough/fever.. very sweet... strangely enough, because at one point yesterday i was telling him he can't sleep beside me if his heart is elsewhere.. trying to shut down to prevent the pain but unable to cause we're actually just so happy together and we've gotten into a kind of routine of cuddling every night.. and all we have is the present moment. I don't want him to go! Buuut I've told him he needs to call before coming over now, as i need to take back some of my power in the relationship (somebody had the great idea around Christmas of giving him a key..). I tend to make myself too available in relationships in various ways and it does nobody a lick of good. Working on that. Tonight he's playing a show and she is going to be there. I can't go because my daughter is sick and my mom won't watch her anymore. So that's alright. Point is we have reached the predicted impasse. He is terrified of losing us both. He's an extremely emotional creature and this is very affecting for him.. me too of course... there is a lot of love here. I've assured him he's not going to lose me; I simply can't shut down on him except insofar as it makes sense for my own well being (i guess that could end up looking like losing me but the real love and care he has for me is just so apparent that I don't think it'll ever come to that; we'll remain friends no matter what).. I'm almost excited to see them get together honestly, because it will at least be an answer, but I fear that things aren't going to ever look that simple. And of course I kinda hope he'll "choose me" whatever choice means in this crazy universe. I'm glad at any rate that it has come to this, and her boyfriend has made this ultimatum because it's been unconfortable waiting for the bottom to fall out of their relationship. it is natural that my relationship with D would make him more desirable to her. I think that's a big part of this. Faith's reflections seem to be holding true though; pur relationship is real world, theirs is always struggling and yearning... but oh isn't it delightful. Auby made a really good point too about the invisible person holding so much sway. It alternates between us now; we're both the other woman. It's very.. strange.. IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted February 27, 2016 09:26 PM
None of us are really polyamorists (sic?). It's taken a bit to hammer that out but it's clear that he wants to be able to devote his whole heart. He just has that pesky Venus-Chiron in his 12th house making him long for the unavailable. It's been a pattern for a long time and he can't seem to do anything about it. All of this just happened. I pointed out to him that our relationship is essentially a little healthier because it didn't start out while both parties were unavailable and gently told him that most people in this world don't fall passionately in love with people who are in relationships. I mean... some do but most don't let themselves get to that point. So i pointed that out and he took it well. It's because he's so willing to follow his heart and all other considerations bedamned. Really i love him for it--all of it--except the parts which seem a little masochistic. Yet i really truly deeply believe he is doing his absolute best. And that's pretty good--i have a ton of respect for him even though I'm aware of his shadow side. Thank Jupiter-Venus I guess?  IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted February 27, 2016 10:10 PM
As far as the astrology goes, some of the highlights I've noticed lately:His Nodal axis is exactly opposite my daughters and identical to my mom's. Sometimes I stress over my lack of activation of his nodes but this fact has sort of quieted my doubts. They have double whammy Sun/Moon midpoint = Nodes (in his case it is a semi-or sesqui-square of his Sun/Moon mp to her nodal axis) Noticed that currently transiting Neptune is one minute from a conjunction with her and her boyfriend's North Node. Making it difficult to see their way forward together or dissolving the whole Thang? Something mysterious going on for sure IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted March 30, 2016 01:24 PM
More updates if you want. She decided to go back to her guy. They're presently traveling together in South America and D. (the Aries in question) was really heart broken that she didn't text or call to say goodbye even though they saw each other a few days previous. I think this is exemplified by his Saturn being much more heavily aspected in the synastry than hers. He feels compelled to relate, she doesn't feel the same compunction as he does about moving on... Here is her synastry with her boyfriend of two years. I wonder if you can see why she prefers this connection. Saturn as ruler of her descendant is an all important factor i suspect. Obviously double whanmy Sun-Nodes is powerful. His birth time is unknown. IP: Logged |
Orange Knowflake Posts: 4161 From: Georgia Registered: May 2009
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posted March 30, 2016 01:47 PM
this all sounds too close to home and it makes me cringe just re-reading this story. I noticed that D's Saturn conjuncts her ( The Virgo's) Venus...which is what I have in my synastry with the Aries, too. His Saturn is tightly conjunct my Venus. Hence his loyalty. Sigh. IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto Knowflake Posts: 2130 From: intimate sky dot net Registered: Mar 2014
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posted March 30, 2016 01:51 PM
Yeah... Saturn-Venus is really romantic loyalty. His Saturn is more closely conjunct my ascendant, a different kind of commitment vibe, not as romantic.. 0'07 degrees of a conjunction though. I think he needs and wants me more than he'll readily admit, more than either of us actually know at this point. If that makes any sense. Arroyo describes Asc-Saturn conjunctions in synastry like... it seems like Saturn has the upper hand but as soon as the Asc person gets tired of groveling theSaturn reveals how dependent and needy they actually are under all the bluster. Type deal. Which dynamic does play out but i don't like it. I'm curious whether there's ever been a truly happy relationship with this conjuction! IP: Logged |