posted December 30, 2015 06:16 PM            

So... the catch with my wonderful new lover/old friend is that he is traditionally in love with more than one person at a time; generally one of them is unavailable. In this case I am the one who is very much able to be present and he does seem very much in love with me... and is loving in practise... here all the time... we enjoy ourselves and have a good connection, lots in common, very passionate and caring... whatever.

Then there's his best friend of several years (who has been my friend for even longer but not as close. She's an amazing wonderful person).. she is in a relationship with somebody else who I don't think is really good for her, they've broken up one time and at that point she and my love here sort of hooked up; this was over the summer. Then something happened which caused a lot of tumult, a physical altercation between him and somebody else... unrelated but timed such that it has an effect and impeded their relationship developing romantically because he was so upset.. he's very sensitive.. anyway... She has since gotten back together with this other guy and they're moving in together.

My love and I hooked up when he found out that her partner is going to move in with her. Again, somewhat coincidental but having obvious impact. He was nearly suicidal over the potential loss of the connection. I guess I feel like a rebound or I would if the connection weren't so flippin genuine. It's a strange scenario though. He feels like he needs to remain loyal to her and I find it all very beautiful... good opportunity to practise detachment... I tell myself so. They remain friends and get together once a week or so these days--those are the nights of radio silence, no texts to me in return. But I bear it and welcome him home at 2 am and talk about what's going on and go to sleep at 4 smiling...

It's a really long story. I know it might sound horrible to the serial monogamists out there and for various reasons it's of course rather difficult... but I got involved with him knowing he is this way from years and years of watching this pattern play out for him. He's gained in wisdom and knows that losing a partner for the sake of somebody unavailable is silly--sort of--but he mentioned today in one of our periodic plutonian fits of renewal anddifficulty that he and she would like to be together, and it's... hard. I give everything to personal relationships and that's one of my lessons i guess--not to do that--because i wind up with nothing and they just take it all and run.

But i want to trust this person is compassionate enough not to just bail... still it's up to me to protect myself and put boundaries in place.

On the one hand he talks long term plans and land project with me and on the other it's "oh how we wish we could be together" (he and she ). Which I must bear if i am to stay with him--many years ago i reacted violently (with words) upon learning he was interested in somebody other than me and effectively destroyed our connection... it's taken until now to rebuild and I don't want to make the same mistake because I love him... still the uncertainty is really hard.

I can handle it... but I'm just wanting to post charts here and get some solid advice and counseling based on them... if you would be so kind.

This is by no means the whole story here, just a snap shot of certain elements.

It's hard so go easy on me.

Our composite

their composite

Sigh... will return with synastry

posted December 30, 2015 06:23 PM            

She n he

posted December 30, 2015 10:11 PM            

He is born a week after me, just noticed. And I am currently interested in a Scorpio Sun & Asc, Libra Venus in the 12th dude. lol

posted December 30, 2015 10:45 PM            

My progressed Venus/Asc are conjunct at 21 Scorpio opposite his progressed Sun. His solar return for the year seems very romantic but it might not be about me.

That's ok. It's all going to be ok. Just trying to remember the love appreciate the good times stay open to love andlife... take care of myself.. you know... sigh.

Thanks for the reflections

posted December 30, 2015 11:39 PM            

Speaking of Saturn, I also saw his Saturn (and widely Pluto) conjunct your Asc. I can understand why you're smitten. I've had that with someone, I was Saturn, and I had him eating from the palm of my hand. It's binding alright, but it binded him to me, not the other way around. I have no interest in him, yet he keeps messaging me and asking me to give him a shot.

posted December 31, 2015 01:56 AM            

The thing I'm curious about is why she hasn't left her partner for him given how she keeps stringing him along. It's so strange... i think it has to do with her true black moon conjunct her mercury-juno... and other things. I wish i had the other guy's birth data.. used to.

Anyway that's the thing I'm wondering about. Like, why? She is in love with him.. so why not? He's wonderful. Thinking maybe her Saturn is under-stimulated. I dunno. I hope everything works out ok for everybody somehow.

i know I'm awesome and he really loves me but it's still hard arrgh

posted December 31, 2015 02:12 AM            

Much like the silent partner in a business venture, they're not present at board meetings, but their input is sought regarding decisions to be made by its members. While their presence isn't required, it has impact upon all dealings.

Similarly, a silent fiancé is not an actual fiancé. There's no legitimate engagement, merely a torch carrying and lingering devotion or loyalty that cements the individual's continued presence -- especially in their absence.

It's the unfortunate cause of many a heartbreak, too; someone may not even fully realise they have a silent fiancé. But if there's any kind of placeholder, and current strong feelings of devotion and desire for a real relationship or commitment -- I'd beware. Or at least be aware.

posted December 31, 2015 02:22 AM            

It's all very challenging.. it's good to experience it all. It isimproving my ability to ACTUALLY love and care and not just want to possess. But i do wonder about my expenditure of energy.

posted December 31, 2015 12:52 PM            

Bleeding over into each other automatically...

Their composite moon is in Aries with its dispositor (Mars) conjunct the sun in the first house, opposing Neptune. So the tension seems to be between Neptunian values and Martian values...trying to bring their dreaminess down to earth but running into conflict after conflict. Like they just can't ground it properly.

I like your composite better, from that angle, because the moon is on the ASC, sexitle Mars. More emotional clarity and visibility, something you can grasp and do things with.

Checking the nodes...

Your composite Pluto on the SN with the 4 Taurus NN conjunct his Mercury-Mars and your DSC. Composite NN sextile your Chiron and forming a grand earth trine with
your Juno and moon-Neptune. I like this, but I'm sorry if my orb-work is sloppy ~ I can only eyeball it.

Composite SN conjunct his AVX and Saturn, on your ASC?

So you nodal axis squares his ASC-DSC axis, and your ASC-DSC axis is on his Vertex axis?

Their composite NN is mostly unaspected in the composite (save for the square to Cancer Mercury) and with their individual charts, unless you count the wide (?) conjunction from his sun to the comp NN. In that case, if it's tight enough, he may identify with a sense of destiny about their relationship, or I would imagine so.

Your composite has the sun widely sextile Saturn, theirs has the quincunx which I suspect is somewhat of a red flag for ongoing itchiness.

Your composite has Saturn trine Venus. Again, more stable ground. I keep thinking that the theme is about what you can pin down (you and he) versus what you can not (them.) Unfortunately it's easier to reject what you have tangibly in your hands than something that's like a cloud around you, you know what I mean? But I think that would be a mistake for him, as his moon on the Pisces cusp is already in need of anchors.

posted December 31, 2015 01:30 PM            

It's so intense

But you're right, him and I, we can do something real in the real world. We have been. We are. She and him, it's a beautiful dream... but so far hasn't been at all grounded... in a romantic sense anyway. It's been romantic but not... i dunno... committed? It's been committed but not... yeah not grounded. Imaginary. He was with someone else for a large portion of their interactions too...

He's deciding right now whether to leave town today with me to be in the country or go to her new year's eve show. We had a very intense night. He is feeling torn. We worked through a lot and felt a great deal of love and peace. It's intense. I love him so much... ah. I think it would be better for him to do the real world thing with me than go and pine after her at this gong show (which will be fun but isn't exactly his scene... and her boyfriendwill be there)... just want what's best for everybody really.
Anyway.

Thank you Faith, this reading is kinda what I was hoping to hear, and in keeping with my observations. I sometimes think, well, maybe their dream can come true! But I don't know. I am just trying to stay open and loving.. learning and healing and figuring things out.

My vertex is on that composite Juno. Yes his Vertex is on the composite south node, orb 0'07, and conjunct my ascendant, 2'30. And yes indeed my nodes square his ascendant... not sure on the meaning of that one. There is lots to work with here, certainly.