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Author Topic:   long term partner left me for another (with charts)
vansio
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posted August 20, 2018 05:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've been committed relationship with a guy for three years, last nine months have been long distance for naturalization of my citizenship reasons. We've lived together from the start. Three weeks ago, I all of a sudden get news that hes fallen in love with someone else despite the fact that him and I have been an unit for our whole relationship, that he still wants me and he needs help figuring out how to navigate an open relationship, that this happened all of a sudden and wasn't expecting it. I am cautious, tell him this is not the time for something like this for us but tolerant and ask him to hold it off until I come (knowing that a problem like this is small in comparison to a lifetime of shared challenges). He agrees. I immediately booked a flight to him. I tried to console him throughout the entire crisis from half way across the world about our love and longevity but as the days would transpire (hanging out with this person every day despite reassuring me that they've put it on ice) has turned his back on us. Leading up to my arrival, he was still telling me he loved me and cherished our strong relationship, calling me on the phone at night to be by his ear while he slept and I busied my day. The way this breakup happened has been so selfish and disgusting on his part to the point that our entire community is disturbed by his behavior. He broke up with me at the airport upon arrival, he was so aggressive, empty behind the eyes, telling me my love is insincere and just talk then dashed off to go to a business dinner with her partying all night posting pictures of them on Instagram meanwhile Ive just flown 25 hours to communicate. He had a work trip to asia only two days after I arrived, our time would be so short to process together, but he has disregarded it (out of fear, so obvious). He was in love with me (constant companionship throughout our relationship, workmanship, living and sharing our life together (his apartment is actually mine then our apartment throughout our time, same profession, constant phone time all day long) and all of sudden he is throwing it out to pursue this possibility. Him and this girl have been partying so hard for three weeks (drugs, alcohol) and everyone in his life is asking him what the hell is he doing? He doesn't behave this way when with me (three years). We take care of our selves and bodies, challenge ourselves. Everyone knows us. Everyone is so sad to witness this. Everyone from his grandparents, parents, guy friends, colleagues, mutual couples have reached out to me trying to understand. He has ghosted everyone around him who is requesting some answer to him about his situation regarding this crisis of faith... instead posts Instagram declarations of his love for her to the public to see daily, flipping off me and any reality besides his newfound love as if there is nothing worth caring about but her. Narcissist. As an aside, the guy friends who have met this girl in those weeks leading up to the breakup have revealed to me that can't understand how he would leave someone like me for her.

When he broke the news to me he was so inspired to tell me that I would love her, revealing the effect that she resembles me in his sparkling novel eyes.

He's going through his Saturn return, with hard Saturn and Uranus transits. All of this transpired suddenly during the solar eclipse this past month, starting with a mercury retrograde.

We've had hard times in our past, share of destructive fights stemming from frustration about our lot but we've managed to stick with each other throughout it all, with love and affection, though there is unresolved pain that he dwells on as reason to ease his ego. Long term partnership has always been a source of our inspiration and Ive stayed committed with growth and growing pains as a ingredient to true love, Ive had direction and carried a lot for us. We've always been a team. I can't even describe how much of a shock this considering how very deep and close we were. In spite of the recent long distance, we have been an inseperable coupl, privately and publically.

Ive been very graceful, sensitive, humble, and strong in dealing with him throughout this all, despite being abandoned and perpetually disrespected in the wake of his new feeling. He can't bring me down to his immature drama, I will not give in single low reaction to validate whatever are his reasons. Rather, stay true to myself and my love and move on.

At this point, I will not be with a man who cannot treat a circumstance with care, diginity and respect, especially one that was rooting for a lifetime through thick and thin. Weak man child with inflated, nonsensical ego. He has a history of infidelity as catalysts for his relationships ending, infidelity in his upbringing with his parents and grandparents, so this is a unevolved cycle that I imagine psychologically he feels as the fated return to "himself".

I need some input the relationship and his influences. Feel free to ask me anything about the circumstances and share your input, I could really use the dialogue.

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Lalafortunaea
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posted August 20, 2018 04:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lalafortunaea     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sounds nuts. Wish him well, then run.

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erickaf
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posted August 20, 2018 05:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for erickaf     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi, I don't think you really need all those asteroids ...an astrologer I am learning from said asteroids don't tell the major story of a relationship but only the subplots of a sub stories. And it is also very difficult to read a chart with so many of them.

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vansio
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posted August 21, 2018 03:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by erickaf:
Hi, I don't think you really need all those asteroids ...an astrologer I am learning from said asteroids don't tell the major story of a relationship but only the subplots of a sub stories. And it is also very difficult to read a chart with so many of them.

Would you like me to repost it without asteroids? I have my planetary settings in astro saved from previous years. I don't give much weight to them.

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waxlobster
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posted August 21, 2018 09:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for waxlobster     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yes I agree with LaLafortunea....

We have a Uranus-Saturn-Neptune-IC, squaring Moon-Juno-Mercury. This is somebody who has a very weak grasp on reality. Sure he is probably very creative and inventive also but not really somebody who is comfortable with stability and commitment.

Your own Uranus-Neptune-Moon reflects a little of this, so you've been able to empathise. His unaspected Venus apart from a Chiron square is very insecure though, and with Venus on the Ascendant he's all about getting the superficial acclaim and attention to make up for the criticism he had in childhood.

Your Venus doesn't suffer like this and his issues, rather than being a match, just drain you. You'll do far better without him. You do need someone creative, but also somebody who can be emotionally supportive. Your Moon being so far towards the end of Capricorn is a bit lost at times isn't it. You need to use the Pluto sextile to dig deep, as you don't tend to 'feel' emotions very easily but they still lodge in your aura.

Try to develop your intuitive side, and be more trusting of the signs and magic around you. By the time you experience your own Saturn return you will barely remember this man's name. ;-)

------------------
blog: http://waxlobster.blogspot.co.uk/ My latest article is about the eclipse season, focussing around August 2018 ¢¾
Also my new page is: http://facebook.com/waxyjo

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todd
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posted August 21, 2018 11:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for todd     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Testing postings

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todd
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posted August 21, 2018 11:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for todd     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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hypatia238
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posted August 21, 2018 04:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
IDK it sounds like maybe he is experimenting with hard drugs and if he is that would definitely impact his judgement and decision making skills and he can act like a stranger you don't recognize, bc is the drugs you are interacting with and not him.

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Plut0nian2
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posted August 22, 2018 01:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Plut0nian2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
vansio

This made me so sad and I feel like I am being in your position to the point that I am internally shaking.

I couldn't see the charts you posted because they are too blurry but what you're saying makes me think of 3 things:


• Hard Uranus transits to him (you mentioned it yourself) because it all feels very sudden both his uncaring reaction towards you and his crazy "love" about this other girl.

• His Moon/Venus in hard aspect (conjuction/opposition/square) with her Neptune or Uranus. Since he has an Uranus transit going on right now I thinking it's her Neptune (unless he has some Neptune transit going on too). The way he talks about her smells like Neptune. I sense both Neptune and Uranus in transit or in their synastry. But it has to be something in their synastry too for him to be so infatuated with her plus others questioning how he chose her over you is very classic Neptune case too.
I would say Neptune on his Venus but since they have been hanging out for a while it may be Neptune on his Moon, although in my experience it's a guys Venus that drives him crazy at least in the beginning.
I am wondering if it's the same for you. It may be that you have Neptune or Uranus on his Venus so he got bored and he wants to escape quickly now that he found the chance.
It also made me a bit angry at you the fact that he has a history of breaking up due to him being unfaithful but it wasn't enough to make you run. Did you think that you could save/change him or did you think that you were better suited for him in some way? Neptune again..Too much Neptune in this whole mess. Please next time do yourself a favor and run away from men that have such a past if you are lucky enough to learn about it early.

• It feels to me like he's doing drugs because of his reaction to his other people and you when you arrived there.


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capricorncheriscty
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posted August 22, 2018 03:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for capricorncheriscty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Composite 7th house ruler in 5th house which can mean there is an affair somewhere, either one you two started to get together or one of you having an affair while in the relationship. 7th house ruler is also in 6th house, which can lead to relationship imbalances, there is a lack of common ground somewhere and, as is the nature of mutable houses, the lack of common ground on SOMETHING (whatever it was, idk your relationship) was being pushed under the rug constantly and downplayed to avoid "bad moments" so you two could instead have fun. The emphasis of Sagittarius and Leo in your composite furthers this possibly. Fire signs like to have fun and so they get bored easily. If they feel bored, fire signs they will be inclined to move on to the next interesting moment of life whether you want to hop aboard or now. They just burn forward without looking at who they are burning/forgetting. For a composite, this could show that both of you did this in some way. He may have lost interest and decided to burn ahead to someone else without thinking of you. And it seems you, less horribly, may have done the same thing but in a less horrible way. You did kind of burn ahead without him, but it was with good intentions; you wanted to get the citizenship and spend more years with him and maybe he felt rushed and encapsulated by it all. You had good intentions and he didn't but, in a way, you both exhibited that firey habit of burning a bridge without looking back to see who is on it. Had you asked him prior if he was still willing to hold out for you? I know it's **** and it's Not to blame you or anything, because he's obviously the one in the wrong here. Really, that's not a matter of astrology. He's just a sh*thead.

Something I also noticed is all that Libra in his chart. Not to be mean, but I've noticed Libras have a bad habit of flitting from the next pretty thing to the other when they feel they can and they often do it abruptly which leaves the old partner very startled and full of questions. It's that weird victim complex hypatia was talking about in another thread. The way your boyfriend was communicating to you, sounds like he was trying to do that, "I'm trying to be fair and nice to you, please understand me here." thing that libras do when they really aren't being fair at all (but they think they are so they'll gaslight you in a narcissistic way to make you feel like you're wrong for not wanting them to be "happy" LOL). I mean, how is the situation fair to you at all? Lol, I'm sorry but what a mess this guy sounds..

It could be transit Saturn and Pluto in Capricorn getting close to his Libra planets making that flighty Libra romance energy knock off the charts. They never know how to stay single and they always want someone on the back burner for them in case their current relationship falls through. Sorry you had to go through that.

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vansio
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posted August 23, 2018 10:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You all are so awesome to contribute your input.

Spot on descriptions.

I will say, since I posted these charts, I've come to find out I had her birth year wrong.

If you're at all curious, I will post their synastry without all the asteroids.

Thanks for the wisdom. It's been a very illuminating image this history I have had with him. Most of your suspicions of our interworkings hit home in many ways.

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todd
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posted August 23, 2018 02:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for todd     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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hypatia238
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posted August 23, 2018 02:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well if you have her birth year wrong all interpretations are off, the birth year makes a huge difference. I was not crazy about their composite, it didn't add up to me hence why I thought it was more drug related than that he was deeply in love with this girl, that composite would not explain to me him feeling so passionate about her and leaving you for her.

Repost Composite and Davison with the right year and birth data and include asteroid atropos please.

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vansio
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posted August 23, 2018 05:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*

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mir
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posted August 23, 2018 09:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mir     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Compo Sun/Moon/Venus conjunction and look at the exactnes .. that is such a strrrrong connection!

@ ow well ofcourse, her Tob isn't there so that means the compo Moon might be off by 3 degrees on both sides (which is when using 12 noon for hers) but very likely less than that, but even then wauw!

They're even heading for a prog compo New Moon too... THE start marker for any new relationship or at least a huge change in relating (marrying, living together.. ? I'm afraid nothing can stop this from progressing further and I haven't even looked at their prog syna)

@ Wt.. they're heading for an exact repetition of their regular compo Sun/Moon/Venus conjunction in the progressed compo! (pretty flabbergastered here - a no-doubt case for me so I would really appreciate updates on this thread if emotionally possible ofcourse)

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Plut0nian2
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posted August 23, 2018 09:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Plut0nian2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'll talk about the synastry only.
So she has Neptune square his Venus and they have Venus-Mars DW exact aspects.
Her Uranus isn't doing anything crazy though.
And I din't see transit Uranus affecting any of his planet right now? Ehichbis very dissapointing but it makes me think that it isn't something really sudden.. it's something is going on for some time now and I am not talking just about him hanging out with the other girl, but him beeing bored and needing change.
If you have Neptune/Uranus aspect it may explain why it seems sudden to you though.
Plus his personal planets in his 12th H may explain it too.
His Moon, Mercury, Mars and Lilith in 12th H? Boy that's a lot! And Mars?? Mars in 12th H for a man is difficult. So his thoughts, emotions and actions may be kept hidden or are in someway unclear/confusing.

This gives him a lot of Neptunian traits, deceptive/hiding feelings-actions/being easily affected/addict or attracted to what could make you an addict especially drugs/alcohol.

Does he ever hinted that he wanted to experiment with drugs? or that he tried?
I highly doubt it with his 3 personal planets in 12nd H that he would be open about it.

That girl is born a few days after the man I am in love with.
She has Neptune conjuct Mars it's highly possible that she is doing drugs and maybe some other crazy stuff.


Her Sun and Mercury is in his 5th H.
Mercury in 5th H makes someone fall in love with someone's mind.
Mercury in Aqua is by itself a nice sign for Mercury, the person is considered smart, with unconventional thinking (unless it's somehow afflicted)

EDIT: I just saw that T.Pluto squares his Venus, he definately is at least obsessed, and T. Neptune has been opposite and will be again to his N.Mars.
I am almost sorry for his Mars.
Again Neptunian theme in here. Too much Neptune/12th H us going on at the same time

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hypatia238
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posted August 24, 2018 12:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
They are in love, I had Moon conjunct Venus in Davison and Moon opposite Venus with Neptune forming a tsquare at the Apex in composite along with Mars conjunct Pluto and I fell all the way for that person.

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mir
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posted August 24, 2018 03:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mir     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
He broke up with me at the airport upon arrival, he was so aggressive, empty behind the eyes, telling me my love is insincere and just talk then dashed off to go to a business dinner with her partying all night posting pictures of them on Instagram meanwhile Ive just flown 25 hours to communicate.

Vansio, I wonder.. why did he say your love is insincere? Did that fall out of the sky for you or could you nail it?

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vansio
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posted August 24, 2018 03:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Emotionally, I told him if it is true love he is feeling he is entitled to pursue it and I would never get in the way of this.

emotionally, he checked out of our relationship. Our trials in the past were too much for him and he came to the conclusion that we weren't healthy for each other in light of his new love. He gaslights my interpretations.

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vansio
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posted August 24, 2018 03:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mir:
Vansio, I wonder.. why did he say your love is insincere? Did that fall out of the sky for you or could you nail it?

He said this as if my ideas of our love we're just an idea like a fantasy. These aren't just ideas or else how did we live it so seriously for three years. They weren't ideas but our truth. People don't just get together and are able to establish, contribute, and face so much if it was just for thought.

He's creating a narrative to rationalize turning his back on the love we built. This narrative is demeaning.

We have gotten stuck in a toxic pattern before but have come out of it slower and slower, but I believe it was circumstantional. Between toxic work environments we we're involved in together, unequal carrying of responsibilities, living together without much alone time, difficult finances, me being a forgeiner losing my sense of place, language and identity, projecting/facing our shadows. It was a turbulent lovelife but it was determined, maybe in hard times too comfortable, passionate and challenging.

He believes we tried so much already and could only anticipate that the problems (with fighting) couldn't be fixed if they haven't been resolved already or each instances they should've been in the past.

There were moments that I had tried to end our relationship in the past (I jumped to conclusion during our fights) and he wasnt ready wouldn't let me go, also this hurt him deeeply. Says that I only said these things to end our fights. I asked him why did he hold on to me for so long if he was only going to use these moments, the mistakes from these trials, as deciding factors of his decision made in the *most convenient* present..

Prior to my arrival he asked me to not touch him when I arrived (absurd) but out of respect to the fragility of this event I prepared myself for this arrive and give him whatever space he needed. At the airport he was so passive aggressive, black in the eyes, frustrated and angry (late for a meeting with this girl) that I couldn't help myself but try to touch him.

He's since admitted to me that is was because I reached out to touch him that is what compelled him to break up with me right then and there. the plan had been he would take time to think about us during a month long work trip. I explained to him why I touched him... that I couldn't help it because he was so so upset! And that a decision made like that, with disgust to me without regard to his energy, is borderline evil.

How this went down was so emotionally assaultive on his part that I couldn't help but try to touch him and reach him, I had just flown 25 hours to see him and have a conversation, in the car as it was spiralling I even asked him to hold my hand if he's going to break up with me. He couldnt/wouldn't. And yet, 'my disregard to his request' is when he made his decision to break up with me.

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vansio
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posted August 24, 2018 03:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Plut0nian2:

And I din't see transit Uranus affecting any of his planet right now?

His transits

Chiron(R) square Uranus
Chiron(R) square Moon
Chiron(R) square Saturn
Chiron(R) opposite Venus
Saturn(R) square Moon
Pluto(R) square Venus
Venus(going R) square Chiron
Neptune(R) trine Chiron
Saturn Return

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vansio
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posted August 24, 2018 04:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Plut0nian2:

Her Uranus isn't doing anything crazy though.

Her Uranus square his Moon/Mercury/Juno/Venus

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Plut0nian2
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posted August 24, 2018 05:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Plut0nian2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by vansio:
Her Uranus square his Moon/Mercury/Juno/Venus

His Mercury yes it's close, his Moon is also valid although it's 5 orbs apart but his Venus 10 orbs no way. You realise that there are a bunch of people out there with tjeir Uranus squaring his planets since Uranus stays for a long time in a sign.

Chiron transit indicate pain and the most important is his Moon.. I've been there it was pain because of a friendship and it took me years to get over it.. The pain is deep.

He was just tired and maybe oppressed so he was waiting to find the next one in irder to get out of it. Some people feel like difficulties make them come closer others get tired. But if there were so many difficulties since the start I wonder if it was really worth it.

T. Pluto square his Venus makes someone obsessed and it lasts for a long time (been there),
If he is going through his Saturn Return there is a high possibility that your relationshop wasn't good enough anyway because Saturn breaks whatever isn't working or at least it tastes it. Pluto transforms to and it's deeep.
I hope this girl doesn't leave him early enough so that he wouldn't return to you just because he would prefer it instead of being alone.

It feels to me that you weten't seeing your relationship clearly though, more like you saw it how you wanted to.
Is there Neptune aspects in your synastry especially you being the Neptune although it could also be his making things confusing but you have to have some Neptune going on too. Plus with so many personal planets in his 12th H you couldn't have an idea what is going on behind the scenes.

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vansio
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posted August 24, 2018 05:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
,
If he is going through his Saturn Return there is a high possibility that your relationshop wasn't good enough anyway because Saturn breaks whatever isn't working or at least it tastes it. Pluto transforms to and it's deeep.
I hope this girl doesn't leave him early enough so that he wouldn't return to you just because he would prefer it instead of being alone.

It feels to me that you weten't seeing your relationship clearly though, more like you saw it how you wanted to.
Is there Neptune aspects in your synastry especially you being the Neptune although it could also be his making things confusing but you have to have some Neptune going on too. Plus with so many personal planets in his 12th H you couldn't have an idea what is going on behind the scenes.


I'm leaving the country for new horizons so there won't be a chance for this. I think when I told him my decision to not stay, it registered to him how significant his choice really meant for us as a couple with a history.

You're right about Saturn return.

He's reached out to me and offered me gratitude for how I behave throughout all of this. And said he he is happy to have met me and learned a lot though cannot continue this anymore. I agree, said a break up is the best thing we can give each other now.

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vansio
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posted August 24, 2018 06:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mir:
Compo Sun/Moon/Venus conjunction and look at the exactnes .. that is such a strrrrong connection!

@ ow well ofcourse, her Tob isn't there so that means the compo Moon might be off by 3 degrees on both sides (which is when using 12 noon for hers) but very likely less than that, but even then wauw!

They're even heading for a prog compo New Moon too... THE start marker for any new relationship or at least a huge change in relating (marrying, living together.. ? I'm afraid nothing can stop this from progressing further and I haven't even looked at their prog syna)

@ Wt.. they're heading for an exact repetition of their regular compo Sun/Moon/Venus conjunction in the progressed compo! (pretty flabbergastered here - a no-doubt case for me so I would really appreciate updates on this thread if emotionally possible ofcourse)


Unfortunately, I won't be keeping an eye for how their relationship progresses any further than what is so obvious today. However from what I can sense, I am extraordinarily happy for him...

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