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Author
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Topic: child sexual abuse
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Dervish
Knowflake Posts: 625
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 15, 2008 02:49 AM
 
Some act in ways that get them caught because they literally cannot help themselves. It's like an especially malignant form of Obsessive Compulsive disorder, but instead of always going back to make sure the stove is off they fight sexual urges of all kinds, ranging from the annoying to the horrendous. Ironically, these types seem the most able to realize that they're sick while at the same time finding it the hardest the overcome it (the others could stop easier if they wanted, only they don't see themselves as sick, they see society as prudish, that the child is at fault somehow, and/or they just don't care).
Btw, I hope this doesn't spread publicly. I know of a little girl who was molested and it got out. She got teased over it by other kids at school and on her bus horribly for awhile after it (which was really sad given that she was the first to tell, the guy confessed, and the abuser had abused several children before caught, and could've easily abused the children that made fun of the girl who came forward had she not come forward--allow me to be cynical and snarkily say that it "must be karma" sarcastically).
Anyway, hope things turn out well. Sometimes they do. IP: Logged |
bleakbeauty
unregistered
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posted September 23, 2008 06:26 AM
Thankyou to everyone whos posted on the thread. <3 I really appreciate the response and feel badly reading about your experience.My daughter's offender plead guilty and I'm so relieved we dont have to go to court now. * much love * IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 3473
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 23, 2008 08:29 AM
quote:
My daughter's offender plead guilty and I'm so relieved we dont have to go to court now.
I am so relieved to read that!
Blessings to you and your daughter.{{{HUGS}}}  ------------------
It is not about waiting for storms to pass...it is about learning to dance in the rain!
__________________________________________________________________________ IP: Logged |
bleakbeauty
unregistered
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posted December 20, 2008 03:04 AM
The sex offender (age 25) was given 9 years jail, or 6 years with good behaviour.I assume the latter will occur. I don't know how I feel this early, I know I'll always carry the pain of not protecting my child, as well as her pain of being attacked. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 3473
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 21, 2008 01:03 AM
quote:
I know I'll always carry the pain of not protecting my child, as well as her pain of being attacked.
I know exactly how you feel. I did everything I could think of to protect my son. It hurts when no matter how hard we try to protect our children and such things still happen.  ------------------
Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. IP: Logged |
praecipua
unregistered
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posted December 25, 2008 01:00 PM
but she will know that acts like this are prohibited because he got jailed, and she'll know that you brought the case to court too. that's a lot.IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 3473
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 25, 2008 02:58 PM
praecipua 
quote:
but she will know that acts like this are prohibited because he got jailed, and she'll know that you brought the case to court too. that's a lot.
Yes indeed! I never had that. I was beaten and called a liar...because that "nice god fearing Christian man" would have never done such a thing!
He later raped my much younger cousin, who had my middle name as her first. He killed her dad in what was said to have been a hunting accident. Yeah...sure...I do not buy it.
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 1490
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 26, 2008 11:30 AM
 ------------------
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz IP: Logged |
spunknini
unregistered
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posted January 09, 2009 07:50 PM
MANNU quote:
She is so young she will not even realize what just happened
In this quote you are in error, my friend. This act will leave a scar on her soul, believe me. At 6 years of age the girl is old enough to remember. My mother was sexually abused, I was sexually abused, my ex husband was sexually abused, my son was sexually abused (in his case not by an adult but a 10 yr old boy- please tell me how U deal with that???) All are affected permanently! The only question now is how you help the child to deal with the emotions that are running rampant through her! To you blackbeauty - I send my love & empathy - And please remember it's not what you don't do - It's what you do after the fact that counts. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 3473
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 09, 2009 10:48 PM
One has to assure the child that in no way was it their fault. They did not "give permission" to be hurt as some folks think....
We must try and protect the innocent and help them know it was not their fault if it should happen. Until I found someone to whom I could "relive it with" by talking about it and crying, I was not over it. I was 50 before I finally came to terms completely with it all.
I don't know if being molested and or abused affects a child as much as being raped repeatedly.....being I was subjected to all of it as a child.
I suppose it depends on the child and if it was painful and horrifying or simply embarrassing.
And if they had someone to trust who they could tell and talk to about it.
My earliest recollection of sexual abuse was when I was almost 4, before being raped a few times. I remember too well.
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aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted January 12, 2009 01:56 PM
Gosh, so many of us here are survivors.
BlackBeaty~How are you and your daughter doing? You and your daughter are in my prayers.
They never give these b@%$@%$* enough jail time. They'll give a person who has a joint on them 25 yrs for intent to sell and give a sex offender a slap on the wrist and send him/her back out to look for their next victim!  IP: Logged |
DepTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 1057
From: canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 19, 2009 06:59 PM
eww eww eww that is just disgusting why dont people just find a girl or boy and mate with them someone there own age. i am terribly sorry for your daughter it should have never happened.IP: Logged |
LuvinU
Knowflake Posts: 150
From: NJ
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted August 26, 2009 05:45 PM
bleakbeauty,
I am so sorry to read what happened to your daughter. I too was molested when I was very young. It just didn't go over very well for several reasons. I'm still trying to grasp what happened. Several things came to memory - things I wish could have happened when I was a young girl of about 6/7, but didn't. IF YOU CAN, it would be a good thing to do more positive things in the kitchen so that any feelings that crop up from the incident in the kitchen won't grow as she gets older, developing into any odd behavior. I was molested in the bathroom - I find myself having no problem going in to use the bathroom without turning on the lights and keeping the door open if I can. I'm not keen on using public restrooms either and claustrophobia and OCD kick in overdrive when I'm in one. IF YOU CAN, Definitely talk about what happened, talk about the future and most importantly, talk about life BEFORE the incident. Life didn't begin when she was molested - it's easy to forget life before the molestation. Try to refrain from implying or overemphasizing the cons of having sex OR imply that the opposite sex is only interested in just that. Definitely try to get her to see a psychologist now so that she knows she doesn't have to harbor any of what she feels about the dreadful experience - as soon as possible. I noticed that after I was molested - I attracted other girls who were being molested and/or were molested too. This may happen for her. IF YOU CAN, Definitely continue to teach her to embrace her body and emphasize the power and blessing in being a female so that no gender issues grow out of hand for her because of this incident. I couldn't stand guys oggling me - instead of thinking that I must be attractive to them at that moment, I felt like no matter how much I covered myself, I was naked so I tried to hide myself even more. Definitely try to get her into any sports or self-defense classes to help her connect with her body more. I support self-defense classes - I may not have been able to kick ass then but now? I'll try my damndest to defend myself - it's a way to show my inner child that I have not forgotten about them. Maybe incorporate jogging together, yoga, pilattes, meditation, writing (any form of creative expression) and spending "girl" time together. IF YOU CAN, Definitely get her into a support group with others who have been molested. It's definitely better to address the issue now with people who love and care for her rather than when she gets older and a quiet moment brings out all that she harbored because it's when the world seems quiet that memories come back. You can keep yourself busy enough to run from it for only so long. I wish you the best of luck and love with this situation. Believe that you two can get through this together. Talking, talking, talking is so important. Right now the two questions that might be going through her mind are 1)what did he do to me and 2)why. IP: Logged |
Fases De La Luna
Knowflake Posts: 88
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 27, 2009 12:07 PM
Dear bleakbeauty,So sorry to read of this. I wish your child and you a speedy recovery from the physical and emotional trauma of this horrific situation. IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 1241
From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 28, 2009 10:16 PM
LuvinU That is excellent advice. Bleakbeauty  IP: Logged |
carl
Knowflake Posts: 283
From: China
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 11, 2009 12:37 AM
5 years is not enoughShould be 20 IMHO with no chance parole on good behavior. Terrible, terrible scum of the earth people who should be locked in small dank cells with little fresh air and basic crummy food. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts:
From:
Registered:
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posted July 31, 2010 07:03 AM
Thank you to everyone who wrote
I will be back to write when I can.
Thank you, LEXX, for sharing those things.
It is so wonderful to KNOW you are not alone.
For me, I never talked to anyone--personally--who can relate to things I went through.
Ami
IP: Logged |
WinkAway
Moderator Posts: 1372
From: here, there & everywhere
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 10, 2010 05:34 PM
My father has been in jail since I was 9 for molesting children. He is still there. I haven't seen him in 18 years. He will probably die there as he has since become a diabetic and is going blind.If you do the math he's been there 30 years... IP: Logged |
puppet04
Knowflake Posts: 126
From: usa
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 12, 2010 09:01 PM
i am so sorry, please assure her she did nothing wrong, support her emotionaly, take her to shaman, therapist, tell her how much she is loved etc. don't let her blame herself, watch her eating etc, make sure she's eating healthy organic, veggies fruits, balanced diet as it can effect health as well if emtoions aren't dealt with.. I was sexually abused as a child, it's terrible the effects are life lasting.. and so damaging.. a support group - aftersilence.org let me know if you have any questions i would get some books and get her to therapist asap, and shaman maybe IP: Logged |
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