posted October 14, 2005 02:14 PM         

I have no comment on twin selves. Haven't read about it. I'm thinking lately that I am meant to have either random romantic encounters throughout my life, or I'm meant to marry later still. I don't, at this point, think I'll marry before I'm doing something that I love to do. It won't be until my talent is exposed and enjoyed that I'll find someone who's really good for me. I think I have to grow to at least the point where I'm expressing myself more completely before I find a mate.

I can't confirm any former lives for myself, so all that stuff is pretty foreign to me. Maybe I'm new - here for a limited time only. Is that possible? Who knows.

posted October 14, 2005 02:23 PM         

Wow!, I believe that twin souls, show up
just in the knick of Time, to help us
along our way
wishful thinking?

hehe

posted October 15, 2005 09:22 AM         

Oh my, what a lovely thing to be called........

Thank you oh noble one.......

posted October 15, 2005 09:35 AM         

Anything is possible. I, myself, have had the inclination that I am perhaps a new soul. However, the more I grow spiritually, the less I feel new. It's not operating on a conscious level at all, it's just a feeling; i.e., a knowing of sorts.

Random sexual encounters may open up some people's heart chakras, but I do believe as others do that they are best limited unless they are necessary to your growth due to past experiences in this life. I do think you are very wise to realize that the "right one" may not come along until you have figured yourself out first. I wish I could have realized that at your age.

Anyway, it's kind of like my mother always said: "Sex is like cards ... If you've got a good hand, you don't need a partner!"

------------------
Sincerely,
divinia

posted October 15, 2005 09:41 AM         

WHERE did you get a mother like that??????

posted October 15, 2005 09:48 AM         

It's just something she always said ... I'm not so sure that she practiced it!

------------------
Sincerely,
divinia

posted October 15, 2005 10:13 AM         

very cool answer.......like your style girl......

posted October 16, 2005 10:49 AM         

So lala.........????

posted October 17, 2005 03:13 PM         

but in short i now know that sex without a major commitment from both parties is basically worthless. i could see how it would be good if both parties were deep deep deep in love, but anything less than that is nothing more than self-gratifcation.. which is nothing but holding us backf rom self-realization.

i love the girl madly- but not in love with her. she is super cheerful and optimstic and has a good heart. these are qualities i dont always have. one could say i am scared of what the world would think of me if i exhibited those qualities- thats why i wanted her so bad. and ive learned alot. i have alot of redemption ahead of me before i can rest easy though- and thats not because i had sex but because of the reasons i thought it necessary... and the rediculous amounts of booze the helped it all transpire. i really am not drinking again. gah too much convolution. <3 all.

posted October 17, 2005 03:22 PM         

Wow!, I certainly think, you are very intelligent and kind hearted
and that everything happens for a reason
we make mistakes
so we can learn
and forgiveness
is always there for US
Our Salvation
we can fall
But we can also stand
right up again
and that's wonderful
isn't it?

posted October 17, 2005 05:16 PM         

Yeah, I'm not endorsing random sexual encounters, just saying that I may have a protracted period of figuring out what I want and need out of a relationship. Being a Capricorn I think it's my nature to play for keeps romantically. I just don't think I'll be able to keep someone until that someone is attracted to me as a result of seeing the fullness of my character. There are a lot of things that I'm trying to find expression for, and once that happens I think my life will open up.

posted October 17, 2005 05:30 PM         

How did you get from "last night rocked" to "sex is pretty dumb"......and you dont have to forgive yerself for anything man...I dont feel you did anything wrong...you both consented didnt ye......?

Really I wouldnt recriminate yourelf for this.....chill out.....there are far worse things you could have been doing...!!!!

And yes I agree you are a very intelligent young one, indeed !!
xx

posted October 17, 2005 10:55 PM         

You said "but in short i now know that sex without a major commitment from both parties is basically worthless"

But there something you must understand by a story.
Ok there is this not so good looking girl who is rich. She lacks beauty, but she is smart. Then, theres this perfect guy with 6 packs and 8 inch pole (hehehehe). He is a student and needs money desperately to prevent a lease from breaking.
Both comes online to hook up with no strings and 300 bucks. Are you saying the sex was meaningless? I didn't think so. Every thing comes from God in heaven. This girl, really wanted a break and this guy really was in need. I think you must ask both was it worth it?

I honestly believe time does not exist. What is important was that moment that made them both forget their miseries. No no, sex is not meaningless. Sex outside of relationships may be meaningless.

Take care my young friend.

Will revisit this post and try to read the whole thing.

posted October 18, 2005 05:53 PM         

i love this girl. its like this. she speak the truth every moment of her life, but her truths can change because they have no underlying beliefs that are substantial- i suppose something like tomorrow is a new day, one day we will die, live right now and forget about it all.

me, i have deep underlying truths and principals that run through me, but i cant always express them because i feel like they will be repressed and that fighting the beliefs this world has setup will be impossible to beat

perhaps you can see how we fit well together, but also i feel like its a relationships of incompleteness that creates a wholeness. to me the sex just highlighted to me how incomplete i am in that regard- and my goal is to achieve completion.

she just isn't able to put it all down to learn for herself at the moment. i dont know what will happen. i love her so much but dont see how it would work. is it worth fighting for? i fought but she just didn't want it right now.

i quit my job and moved to the college where my friends go to school. i feel a freedom.

the thing is, she is a partyer, and she isn't going to stop soon. i cant be myself immersed in the party scene anymore- its just a huge haze for all involved and i even hadto get super smashed to fit in to it and then proceed with whati proceeded with. its just not me and i cant be the way she needs life to be right now. when she matures i willbe there for her. i wrote her a poem that exprssed how we're different right now, yet very much still connected and how i would always be her friend but couldn't be her boyfriend in the world she's in right now. we could have something in my world though... thats what i would wait for. i love her

dah i will fight on for her. thats why im here in the university of missouri. to write and speak and meet like minded people.

i wrote this today and im going to have it distributed...

::::

I speak today because I am tired of everyone around me; my friends; my brothers and sisters living in fear. I can no longer stand by silent while we direct the courses of our lives around giving up on what we could be- submitting to the fear that is perpetuated around this world.

In the back of all of our heads is the fear of death. The fear of our own demise. With that fear in mind, we live our lives as if tomorrow may never come. That is truth that has been distorted, that has been lost. Though our bodies may stop, our souls- the entirety of our entity remains. If you poke 3 babies in their sides while they stare at the ceiling from their cribs, you may receive laughter, crying or nothing as a response. If you poke those same people 20 years later I assure you that their responses will be very similar. We were someone before we had this physical form, and I assure you that we will be ourselves long after.

So what are we doing here? We are here to learn. We are here to understand that our individual struggles are everyone’s struggle. We must learn that our happiness is not ours’ to hold on to. It may take 1000 lives but there are lessons to learn and understanding to be gained; in this classroom. These lessons pertain to the simple ideas that ruled our lives when we were children; sharing, forgiveness, equality, love. Where did these ideas go? Why did they fade away from our consciences to become secondary goals unsuitable for today’s world?

FEAR.

Fear that being simple and pure in any approach would not yield dividends. Fear of being considered weak in a world where only the strong seemingly survive.

What does it mean to be strong in today’s world?

To be strong in today’s world means taking on the full embodiment of the distorted male ego. To hold your rep when someone gets in your grill. To **** that ***** or ho when they don’t agree with you. To find out when someone is stepping and to check them. To stack your bread and flip your chips…. Ya ya ya… what happens if you cant perform these tasks? What if you see the ridiculous nature of these ideas? Who do you become? What is said of the black man who doesn’t subscribe to these ideas?… that he is white? WHAT IS THAT?? Do you become less of person because you cant live up to the standard of acceptable male behavior? Do you drown yourself in drugs and alcohol? Do you retreat into your head and quit speaking all together- denying yourself because you feel that you have been denied by society because you aren’t something they are. For the ladies- are you sick of watching this misogynistic crap played out in front of your eyes? Are you sick of the stress of looking a certain way so that you can sustain an image “suitable” for this world? I beg of you not to blame the individuals, put your blame on the system that holds it all together. There is no one person behind this, there is no one person to blame.

To combat this we must awaken our souls in this dark world. With light, with information. That information is now here. How do we awaken ourselves and this world. Know that I am willing to try, so if you have opinions, ideas and want to make something happen. Let’s do it. If you think this is nuts, then come speak your mind, but be prepared to back it up. We have much work to do because this movement is young, and although I believe god is at our backs, it is us who must make this change occur.

Let’s make this movement a reality and succeed where our hippie forefathers got high listened to music fell back asleep and failed- we will succeed because we must succeed.

You May Live forever if you chose, But not to avoid death

:::::::::

posted October 18, 2005 06:06 PM         

your words are always enlightening
and thought provoking
and Yes the time has come
to speak, for Masters to speak
for all of us to speak
and set the Truth Free

as the wings of a Dove
this is all about LOVE

posted October 19, 2005 12:17 PM         

I love your passion in your beliefs.
Gives me faith in this world, knowing there are people out there like you.
Sometimes it can seem like you are the only one fighting a hopeless battle.