Posts: 611
From: Anywhere, nowhere ...
Registered: Dec 2002

posted July 27, 2003 03:03 PM         

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"That will cost you ..." replied Dr.Evil. "one billion dollars! Bwahaha!"

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Posts: 269
From: U.S.
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 27, 2003 03:27 PM         

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And then suddenly everyone died.

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posted July 27, 2003 03:48 PM           

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because there was a mass coronal efection caused as the sun experienced a strange subspace spasm....

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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted July 27, 2003 04:59 PM         

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Meanwhile, back on Zoltar, the Nuutlichers prepared to overthrow the ruling government for the 3rd time that day.

Exhausted as they were, they knew it was the only way to ensure that the new revolutionary method of boiling food in grease would not be taken away from them.

Their very survival depended on it!

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posted July 27, 2003 05:12 PM           

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but oddly enough, at that point the universal concioussness decided the whole thing was really silly, so it reset the story a few days just for a laugh

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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted July 27, 2003 06:37 PM         

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But nobody understood Counciller N_wEvil's reasoning, so they executed him.

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posted July 27, 2003 08:58 PM           

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but since you can't ever really kill anyone in the full and real sense of the word, it didn't metter (so nyaaaah! )

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Posts: 269
From: U.S.
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 27, 2003 09:10 PM         

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So everyone came back to life and "nyaaaa"ed back in N_wEvil's face.

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From:
Registered: Mar 2003

posted July 27, 2003 11:41 PM         

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And yet Time stands eternal back on Mount Olympus, where no amount of multiverse satellite tv channels could distract the gods from Cole and Savannah's fiery argument...

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From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted July 28, 2003 01:05 AM         

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over who gets contol of the remote.

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Posts: 269
From: U.S.
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 28, 2003 01:44 AM         

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The goddess Ally grabs the remote from Zeus and flicks the channel to Jerry Springer: current topic--'I'm sleeping with my mother's girlfriend'. *all gasp yet watch intently*

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Posts: 1612
From: Second America
Registered: Nov 2000

posted July 30, 2003 01:55 PM         

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Just then, Ally's amazing lover Carlo walked in, threw the annoying goddess-wannabe to the floor, and cried, "You fool, nobody cares about somebody sleeping with their mother's girlfriend. I'd rather watch the program about sleeping with your girlfriend's mother. Oops, did I let the cat out of the bag?"

He changed the channel hurriedly, as the bratty girl laid on the floor weeping. While on the floor, she made a desperate search under the couch for something she knew she really needed...and there it lay, undisturbed...finally, at long last...a clue! Little did she know that her lover had left it there for her to find, since he had a storehouse of them neatly stacked in the garage, just like the Virgo King that he is.

Since the show about sleeping with your girlfriend's mother was preempted by the Cole and Savannah Show, Carlo settled in to watch it. Ally announced that she was going to go out to try to use her clue in public, and Carlo told her not to forget the beer. As she exited the house, she walked into the door by mistake and passed out for the rest of this thread.

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Posts: 269
From: U.S.
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 30, 2003 03:32 PM         

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*shakes head* *rolls eyes*

You're an a**.

The (actual not wannabe) goddess Ally grabs a beer from the fridge and throws it at carlo,wacking him on his head. He cries,weeping like the child he is, and passes out then later lies and says that Ally passed out. Ally knows that carlo suffers from low-self esteem and security issues,so this is ok. While carlo is passed out,Ally writes "I'm really a woman" on carlo's forehead with a permanent sharpie marker.

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Posts: 1612
From: Second America
Registered: Nov 2000

posted July 30, 2003 10:06 PM         

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Then Carlo whips out his huge d*ck and reveals to the girl a tattoo that reads "Free self-esteem ~ place lips here", and of course she falls for it. She gasps, "Gods, I'll make that self esteem even lower, yes, I will!"

After a few hours of her service, Carlo yawns casually and glances askew at his Lucky Astrology Mood Watch, slaps her in the face a couple of times with his rude muscle, while saying "I bless you, I bless you, I bless you."

He immediately realizes that this only turns the hungry creature on more. He flips the channel back to the Cole and Savannah Show, cracks a beer and rests it on her head, and tunes into his program.

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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted July 30, 2003 10:29 PM         

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But suddenly, there's a flash of lightening, and a crack of thunder, (right there in the living room ?!?), and Carlo is electrocuted, especially badly because his body and member are covered in sweat and...stuff, which conducts the current much stronger, and all his body and head hair are gone in a puff of smoke. Why, he looks like a pre-pubescent young lad!!

At that moment, the Olympian EMT's bust in, take one look around, survey the predickament Carlo and Ally are in, and jump to the conclusion that Ally is committing statutory rape, or at the very least, sexual interference with a minor. Carlo comes to her defence and says "But I'm not a minor, I'm an ACTOOORRR!!, but to no avail. They're not buying it.

So they take Ally away, off to the slammer, and leave Carlo sitting there, wet, spent, burnt and bald.

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Posts: 1612
From: Second America
Registered: Nov 2000

posted July 31, 2003 11:21 AM         

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Suddenly, Carlo's hair grows back (although on the brilliant advice of Dr. Evil, he decides to keep the shorn scrotum), his burns go away, since everyone knows he is superhuman. "That darned Ororo, always playing around with the elements during my favorite show." He hits the tv and it tunes back into the Cole and Savannah Show, cracks open a beer, and picks up the phone to call the jail. He says that he wants to post the brat's bail, and they say it isn't possible right now, she's a bit tied up. Carlo pictures the obvious, laughs to himself, and hangs up the phone.

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Posts: 269
From: U.S.
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 31, 2003 12:31 PM         

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But Ally is a goddess and nothing can keep her confined. She magically appears in carlo's living room, busts up his t.v. with her super-woman-powers and since carlo is a mere human and cannot fight back except with childish insults that directly point to the fact that he's a kid in highschool,Ally casts a spell on carlo eliminating his ability to ever perform sexually (again?).

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Posts: 1513
From:
Registered: Mar 2003

posted August 02, 2003 02:04 AM         

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Sweaty, exhausted, spent, the chips from the broken remote scattered across the devastated livingroom like Loki's electronic teeth, Savannah and Cole eye each other wearily.

"Sweetheart... there's nothing but violence on tv... they say it's new stuff but I swear I've seen it on Zena or Buffy before... why don't we just go for a walk down to the beach for a change? It's a gorgeous summer night, and the surf's up."

"Will you wear your bikini? You know... that bikini?"

"Hmmmm..."

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posted August 02, 2003 02:40 AM           

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and then N_wEvil walks back in exhausted by sleeping in a room with 18 year old eating each other all night (just.dont.ask) and wondering how the hell he wound up here. Or even, infact, where "here is".....

(boy this keyboard is RUBBISH!)

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Posts: 611
From: Anywhere, nowhere ...
Registered: Dec 2002

posted August 04, 2003 08:17 AM         

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Carlo ...

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From:
Registered: Mar 2003

posted August 05, 2003 04:53 PM         

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Savannah starts to say, "N_wEvil honey, what happened to you..." but beach-and-bikini-oriented Cole keeps hold of her hand and tows her along, with a "Seeya wEvil, make yourself at home, first aid kit's in the bathroom, and we have top class condiments in the fridge (whatta Virgo!), and remember, there's a party over at jwhop's..."

They make it out the door and are just hitting the beach at twilight, its pale sand still warm underfoot from the day, when...

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posted August 05, 2003 05:00 PM           

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a couple of helpful deckchairs and a parasol appear in a puff of hydrogen sulphide..

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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted August 05, 2003 06:50 PM         

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Or wait....could it be...why YES, yes it is...it's not hydrogen sulphide, it's MARIJUANA SMOKE

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Posts: 154
From: With the Rainbow Goblins
Registered: Mar 2003

posted August 07, 2003 05:37 PM         

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But due to the acid that was taken an hour earlier.... It might not be smoke at all.

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posted August 07, 2003 07:13 PM           

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it could have been a really fluffy monkey...

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