posted May 29, 2004 11:29 PM         

I love it!

posted May 30, 2004 12:14 AM         

There was Adam, tending the garden of Eden, immotral, happy, letting his hair grow, naming all the animals and generally in tune with the Earth.

Then, the Gods intervened and introduced an alien lifeform into the equation, women. And what was their first contribution? Well, let's see, it was Eve who believed the snake and took the snakes word over Adam's. And what was the result of all that? Well, of course we were thrown out of the Garden of Eden, lost our immortality and ever since, we've been painting picket fences, designing pushup bras, formulating cosmetics, designing women's clothes, extending the lives of women at our own expense and haven't had time to see to the more important things in life.

By now, we should have been sailing between the stars, exploring the Universe and would have been if not for squandering our energies on making women more beautiful, more desirable, everything to satisfy the insatiable desires of women to retain their youthful appearance.

The Gods have a lot to answer for. I can hear them laughing at how Adam swallowed their line, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, indeed, when women were always an alien species to Earth.

Men have a natural easy going way with each other, we understand each other, but introduce a women into the group and all hell breaks loose with competition, quarrels, enmity and war.

One day, we will sail between the stars, find those Gods and make them pay for their little joke of introducing an alien lifeform amongst us.

posted May 30, 2004 06:32 PM         

The Beginning, with Adam and Lilith

"In the beginning, the Lord God formed Adam and Lilith from the dust of the ground and breathed into their nostrils the breath of life. Created from the same source, both having been formed from the ground, they were equal in all ways. Adam, being a man, didn't like this situation, and he looked for ways to change it. He said, "I'll have my figs now, Lilith," ordering her to wait on him, and he tried to leave to her the daily tasks of life in the garden. But Lilith wasn't one to take any nonsense; she picked herself up, uttered God's holy name, and flew away. "Well now, Lord," complained Adam, "that uppity woman you sent me has gone and deserted me." The Lord, inclined to be sympathetic, sent his messengers after Lilith, telling her to shape up and return to Adam or face dire punishment. She, however, preferring anything to living with Adam, decided to stay where she was. And so God, after more careful consideration this time, caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and out of one of his ribs created for him a second companion, Eve. For a time, Eve and Adam had a good thing going. Adam was happy now, and Eve, though she occasionally sensed capacities within herself that re- mained undeveloped, was basically satisfied with the role of Adam's wife and helper. The only thing that really disturbed her was the excluding closeness of the relationship between Adam and God. Adam and God just seemed to have more in common, both being men, and Adam came to identify with God more and more. After a while, that made God a bit uncomfortable too, and he started going over in his mind whether he may not have made a mistake letting Adam talk him into banishing Lilith and creating Eve, seeing the power that gave Adam. Meanwhile Lilith, all alone, attempted from time to time to rejoin the human community in the garden. After her first fruitless attempt to breach its walls, Adam worked hard to build them stronger, even getting Eve to help him. He told her fearsome stories of the demon Lilith who threatens women in childbirth and steals children from their cradles in the middle of the night. The second time Lilith came, she stormed the garden's main gate, and a great battle ensued between her and Adam in which she was finally defeated. This time, however, before Lilith got away, Eve got a glimpse of her and saw she was a woman like herself. After this encounter, seeds of curiosity and doubt began to grow in Eve's mind. Was Lilith indeed just another woman? Adam had said she was a demon. Another woman! The very idea attracted Eve. She had never seen another creature like herself before. And how beautiful and strong Lilith looked! How bravely she had fought! Slowly, slowly, Eve began to think about the limits of her own life within the garden. One day, after many months of strange and disturbing thoughts, Eve, wandering around the edge of the garden, noticed a young apple tree she and Adam had planted, and saw that one of its branches stretched over the garden wall. Spontaneously, she tried to climb it, and struggling to the top, swung herself over the wall. She did not wander long on the other side before she met the one she had come to find, for Lilith was waiting. At first sight of her, Eve remembered the tales of Adam and was frightened, but Lilith understood and greeted her kindly. "Who are you?" they asked each other, "What is your story?" And they sat and spoke together, of the past and then of the future. They talked for many hours, not once, but many times. They taught each other many things, and told each other stories, and laughed together, and cried, over and over, till the bond of sisterhood grew between them. Meanwhile, back in the garden, Adam was puzzled by Eve's comings and goings, and disturbed by what he sensed to be her new attitude toward him. He talked to God about it, and God, having his own problems with Adam and a somewhat broader perspective, was able to help out a little-but he was confused, too. Something had failed to go according to plan. As in the days of Abraham, he needed counsel from his children. "I am who I am," thought God, "but I must become who l.will become." And God and Adam were expectant and afraid the day Eve and Lilith returned to the garden, bursting with possibilities, ready to rebuild it together."

Peace.

posted May 30, 2004 07:39 PM         

I've always considered that it took the very Source of All Evil, the Prince of Darkness himself to tempt poor Eve. But all that was required to seduce Adam was a naked chick offering him a little snack. Kinda says something if you think about it.

posted May 30, 2004 09:01 PM         

Harpyr, I think Tom Cruise would be considered a pinky thimble

posted May 31, 2004 09:59 AM         

I know some people believe it...

posted May 31, 2004 10:31 AM         

Of course, this is the exact same I have always given to "male chauvanist" attitude.

Whichever end the pendulum swings to, do not expect me to like it.

posted May 31, 2004 10:42 AM         

Sheesh, paras. What angry feminist attitude is it you're talking about? All I've read here is a fun exchange.

posted May 31, 2004 12:11 PM         

There was a time when Plato believed the Earth's interior was full of tunnels and believed in fact there was a broad tunnel running completely through the Earth from pole to pole, PS: don't fall in, that first step is a lulu. He also believed the sun, moon and planets revolved around the Earth in crystalline spheres. That was the official scientific position then.

In the middle ages, the Church believed the Universe revolved around the Earth and held fast to that doctrine by excommunicating those who believed otherwise as heretics. That was the official record then.

Doctors treated patients with fever with leaches and otherwise drained their blood. That was the official state of medicine then.

Too bad I can't go back and warn Adam to pay no attention whatsoever to Eve

posted May 31, 2004 02:11 PM         

quote:

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jw, last time I checked, you three leggeds still desired and needed us two leggeds

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posted May 31, 2004 06:19 PM         

...Sun_scorpion, I was going to go there, but you got there first.

So, all that's left for me to say is