posted April 06, 2005 06:58 PM         

by Rasika Dhavse

My friend and I were sitting in a café. Wait, let me get that right. My girlfriend and I were sitting in a café, sipping Mochachinos with dollops of whipped cream, and dishing out profound observations about life, work, what single women want, what married women get, so on and so forth.

A guy walked in. A total stranger. "He's weird," my friend said. "You know, not weird weird but exciting weird."

Anyone hearing that remark would have concluded she's weird, but I knew exactly what she meant. And why shouldn't I? After all, that's what girlfriends are all about.

Friendship between women has the usual sharing that is the foundation of any relationship. Sharing of thoughts, feelings, experiences, entire life-stories. There's love, care, support, understanding.

But there's more than that. A unique aspect of women friends is, willingness to talk about literally everything.

I guess it's because there is none of that Harry and Sally stuff, and since they don't consider the Sally and Sally stuff to be much fun, they are free to talk about whatever. Since there is no need for political correctness or social niceties, the list of topics to talk about is endless, and it's all direct, dil se!

That brings us to the big question -- what makes girlfriends tick? When you think about it, you realise a number of ingredients make up this delectable dish.

Heart-to-hearts: These can be across the table, over the phone, with a coffee cup or popcorn in hand, in times of distress or on days of boredom. Basically anytime, anywhere.

These talks are the oxygen that keeps these friendships alive. They include the dissection and vivisection of everything, and we mean everything, under the sun. Right from the convoluted intricacies of petty office politics to burnt dals and overcooked rice to their own sex life -- past, present or non-existent.

Problems are identified, solutions suggested and pearls of wisdom distributed free of cost. Only a girlfriend can understand the trauma of a white shirt turning off-white or the deep feeling of hurt at finding a 10k email includes 9k of your original message.

Only she will nod in perfect understanding when a friend wants to cry her heart out at a broken relationship, but says, "I can't, it gives me puffy eyes."

Humour: Theirs is a unique brand. It's just the right concoction of clean, toilet, sex, and depressive humours, the potency of each ingredient varying according to the occasion and mood.

Who else but a girlfriend can laugh out loud at something inane and exclaim in the same breath, "That's not funny!"

Together they find humour in the sadness in their lives, then shed a few tears right after, and finally get back to those same lives, feeling infinitely better.

Men: Girlfriends cannot exist without men. That's the bottomline. They may not be able to stand them, and yet they cannot do without them.

Discussing the personality traits of the lower species adds a dash of spice to an insipid conversation. Putting them through the shredder gives a purpose to a ho-hum day. Besides, men have their uses too.

Husbands and in-laws: Rest assured husbands and men are two different species. Men are merely a pain, husbands a class apart. Swapping notes on husbands and their percentage of participation in housework, lending support and understanding, and generally shouldering some responsibility in the marriage is a time-consuming activity.

Then come in-laws. There is no dearth of conversation when girlfriends sit down on this subject. Night flashes by in a wink when married friends get together for a pyjama party.

It's not merely the supreme satisfaction of saying all the things one wants to one's in-laws but cannot, but the solace of having cleansed the soul and the comfort of knowing you are not alone in your suffering that actually goes into making this topic a bonding factor.

Fitness: Girlfriends stick together through thick and thin, flabby arms and thunder thighs -- even, frizzy hair and breaking-out skin. Together they confront the temptation of chocolate mousses and the blandness of boiled veggies like true comrades-in-arms. What more proof of an undying friendship do you need?

The humour and the fun, the gossip and the shredding are merely the tip of the iceberg. There's much more that women share. There's silly laughter and heartfelt tears, meaningful work they do together or just a chat they have -- all indications of the deep trust they have for each other.

Even if the whole world turns its back, these friends will always be there to lend their ear and a perfumed tissue. Doesn't matter whether they've known each other from pigtails to perms, the feeling doesn't die with time.

It's a bond no one can break. Not boyfriends, not husbands, not mothers-in-law.

posted April 06, 2005 07:24 PM         

Here's to the 3 B's: Beer, Barfood and Bitchin'. And it all goes best with girlfriends.

I'll raise a glass for you, 26.

posted April 06, 2005 07:51 PM         

*raises glass* Cheers beautiful! Here's to us.

posted April 06, 2005 07:54 PM         

*steals 26T and Trillian's drinks and runs away laughing evilly... MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!*
There be drinking for me toniiight! haha

posted April 06, 2005 08:58 PM         

I will be borrowing your post to send to my girls also, 26T! Thanks for the Postive posts!!!!!!!!!!

posted April 06, 2005 09:46 PM           

Bah, the best friend that I had down here just moved away, though...there's not nearly enough geeks on this Army Post. Those that may be are in hiding

We did through a really good dinner for her and her fam last night, though.

posted April 07, 2005 03:20 AM         

Hey give that back alchemist!!! lol

I know future, wouldnt that be the best? I got a warm fuzzy from it too. I miss my girls. Pix, we really would be Rolling On The Floor Laughing til our cheeks hurt. Haha!! Bluemoon, you party animal! I like it.

SunChild, Solane Star, I loves ya both.

Noreenz, which one of those hotties is you??? 30+ years??? That's awesome!

posted April 08, 2005 04:37 AM         

.....I'm going to have to think about the sun signs of each one a little more.....but I think the one in the tan shirt is a fire sign. ( I forget your sign atm )

posted April 08, 2005 09:28 AM         

I sat under an oak tree on a summer day, drinking iced tea and visiting with my mother. "Don't forget your girlfriends", Mother advised, clinking the ice cubes in her glass. No matter how much you love your husband, you are still going to need girlfriends.

Remember to go places with them now and then; and do things with them, even when you don't necessarily want to, And remember that girlfriends are not only friends, but sisters, daughters, mothers, grandmothers
and other relatives too.

Women supporting and relating to other women is our responsibility and our gift. "What a funny piece of advice," I thought. "Hadn't I just gotten married?

Hadn't I just joined the couple-world? I was now a married woman, for goodness sake, not some young girl who needed friends!"

But I listened to my Mom. I kept in contact with my girlfriends and even found some new ones along the way. As the years tumbled by, one after another, I gradually came to understand that Mom really knew what she was
talking about!

Here is what I know about girlfriends:

***girlfriends bring casseroles and scrub your bathroom when you need help;

***girlfriends keep your children and your secrets.

***girlfriends give advice when you ask, sometimes you take it and sometimes you don't.

***girlfriends don't always tell you you're right, but they usually tell the truth.

***girlfriends still love you, even when they disagree with your choices.

***girlfriends laugh with you and don't need canned jokes to start the laughter.

***girlfriends pull you out of jams.

***girlfriends don't keep a calendar of who hosted the other's last big party.

***girlfriends will celebrate for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby, in whichever order that happens.

***girlfriends are there for you in an instant, and when the hard times come

***girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a friend.

***girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.

***girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail.

posted April 08, 2005 09:59 AM         

I didn't realize my glass was empty though, lol. Virgo/Aqua/Aqua

And yes the gal with the tan shirt is a fire sign!

Have someone pat you on the back for me will ya....or heck if you don't mind reaching over patting yourself for me, please do. good job....impressive

from left to right, Sag/Gem/Aries/Virgo

Thank you for the kind words. By the way,
I've got a quick question for you. I'll send a message to you via your mod address.

posted April 08, 2005 10:01 AM         

Thanks for sharing, and yes I will share that with my friends too.

posted April 11, 2005 06:54 PM         

Wow, Noreenz! I got it! hehe. *pats self on back*

BTW, I got your email and emailed you right back. Just wanted to make sure you got it.

posted April 12, 2005 10:40 AM         

May your space be filled with Peace, Love and Harmony!!!

posted April 12, 2005 07:44 PM         

Welcome, cinderella fae and thanks for your posts as well!

ang-