posted July 09, 2007 02:23 AM         

I no longer have faith in this adage of "everything in moderation."

Since my days now consist of a mental chant of "ihavecancerihavecancerihavecancer" my response is... well, girlfriend, here's your chance to prove that all these years spent learning about healthy living, healthy thoughts and healthy eating can cure any ailment.

I am a Virgo, not surprising. Oddly, a Virgo who isn't a hypochondriac.

Anyone here know this song by Radiohead?

"Fitter Happier"

more productive
comfortable
not drinking too much
regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week)
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
at ease
eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
a patient better driver
a safer car (baby smiling in back seat)
sleeping well (no bad dreams)
no paranoia
careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
favours for favours
fond but not in love

I am analyzing my life to "fix" it.

I drink 2 liters of water a day.
I eat my 10 servings of vegs/fruits a day.
I walk constantly, everywhere.
I eat local, sustainable foods.
I am almost a vegetarian.
I read labels, I eat fiber, no chips no candy no baked foods no processed foods.
I exercise.
I drink maybe once every 2 weeks, I don't do drugs.

I don't believe in conspicuous consumption, I pay my bills I watch my carbon emissions, I recycle, I conserve water, I donate to charities, I stay current and informed.

I support my friends, I try to be fair at work, I send birthday cards, I care about the poor, I journal my emotions.
I have had 1 partner in 10 years- sure, the love is gone but at least I'm not out whoring around.

The hell with moderation.
I have played it safe all my life- and for what? how much MORE pure do I have to be?

i KNOW i am being childish here- yeah, babies and nuns get cancer too.

but- d@ammit- i wish i had screwed up more.

posted July 09, 2007 02:45 AM         

I have a few comments, though.

quote:

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Anyone here know this song by Radiohead?

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I do, of course.

Soul destroyed with clever toys for little boys
It's inevitable, inevitable, it's a soul destroyed
You're free until you drop
You're free until you've had enough
But you don't understand
You've no ripcord
No ripcord, no ripcord, no ripcord

Aeroplane
Do I mean what I mean?
It's inevitable, inevitable, oh aeroplane
A thousand miles an hour
And politics in power
That you don't understand
You've no ripcord
No ripcord, no ripcord, no ripcord

The answer to your prayers
We'll drop you anywhere
With no ripcord
No ripcord, no ripcord, no ripcord

quote:

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I eat my 10 servings of vegs/fruits a day.

I send birthday cards

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Wow! Very impressive!

quote:

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no candy

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posted July 09, 2007 03:05 AM         

dark chocolate isn't candy, its a health supplement. I do allow myself 1 square of it 2x a week.

I have had my eras of debauchery- they just never lasted long. You can't keep my Scorp Asc away from the underbelly. My stints on the dark side weren't as dirty as the rest of the peoples' in my social circles. For some reason I could hang out with drug dealers, not do drugs, and they still thought I was cool.

And how could I forget my ex-fiancee, the vampire....

GAK.

posted July 18, 2007 10:50 PM         

I read your posts, I listen to your words and more often than not, I "feel" what you are saying. Each time, I reflect on my life and think about how I would feel, what I would do, if I were in your shoes.

I am very glad you are writing and expressing some of your emotions. Not only is it theraputic for you but I would have to say for others also. Let us walk along side you through this, and know that while many won't post, they are still there. You are a very gifted writer and your words make an impression.

So, back to your post. Do you really think you would change much (other than the cancer) if given the chance?

I know you know that in time you may even be okay with having to had gone thru this mini-hell, that you will have grown from it, and in what ways? hell, who knows?

I honestly feel you will be able to get through this. Do things that make you happy, things that make you feel good. Be with others that enjoy you and all that you offer and keep your chin up.

The following about split my gut. What you are going though is so serious and then you write this, such a Virgo, lol

quote:

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I do allow myself 1 square of it 2x a week.

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Noreen