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Author Topic:   Indian Restaurant -- bizarre and bigoted behavior
naiad
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Registered: Sep 2006

posted August 29, 2007 05:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for naiad     Edit/Delete Message
i recently had the strangest experience at my favorite restaurant -- Indian cuisine is my all time favorite, and this establishment is sublime. it is known for its authenticity, and is patronized by a wide variety of customers. until recently almost all the staff there have been Indian. a new addition to the staff is an older caucasian man, whose job is seating people.

both times that we have visited, this man has been extremely derogatory of the Indians (both the ones in the restaurant, and in general,) their culture and their behavior. he talks about this openly with me, while we are dining. he has said things such as they will be forced to learn english, implying that they are both arrogant and 'lower' than 'we americans' for speaking their native language, and having accents.("americans" being 'white', as all other ethnicities are referred to by their skin color's country of origin.)

i have always found the staff at this restaurant very kind and gentle, and have had no problems communicating with them.

but this man's presence and his demeaning and outspoken attitude have ruined this restaurant for me. the thing is, i don't comprehend the reason they tolerate this man's attitude.

my most recent visit, he followed me from my table each time i went to the buffet...not just walking behind me, but practically touching my body the entire time, scrutinizing every item i placed on my plate, and commenting on each one, in a very condescending way. he then engaged in further bigoted conversation, talking about "those Indians" how they are liars about the way that they prepare their food, comparing them in further derogatory way, to "those Mexicans" and how they lie about the way they cook their food, and lie about the ingredients.

as we finished eating, he followed me again, practically in physical contact with my person, to the front, continuing with his bigotry. at the front, as i was paying the cashier, who was Indian, i asked him -- pointedly the cashier -- at what time they were open for dinner, and the bigotted man started in, in an unnaturally loud voice, about the times that the "white people" come in to eat, as opposed to the Indians, said with derision, who come in later in the evening, as apparently this attests to their 'lower' status as people.

he then followed me out of the restaurant, again in close physical contact, to my car, and then went to his car.

i have felt icky and violated all day from this man's bizarre and irrational behavior. and i really cannot understand why the proprietors of the restaurant allow him to behave in this way. he speaks loudly enough for the entire restaurant to hear.

i'm wondering if this has anything to do with the current xenophobic atmosphere of this country creeping in. i thought that at any moment he would launch into a tirade against "those Indians" and "those Mexicans," screaming with hatred about halting their entrance here from across the border. this hatred of those in this country from other countries, not just foriegners, but racism as well, of all those of skin color other than "white" is just so beyond me...but i am truly at a loss for words at this, experiencing it so openly in a public establishment.

the ever-rising hatred and mob violence on the border of this country is distressing as well....and it seems to be spreading and infusing people with hatred and spite for others that i've never seen before.

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Dulce Luna
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Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
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posted August 29, 2007 06:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
The fact that he's working at an Indian restaurant sounds really bizarre. Who hired him???

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double trouble gemini
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From: uae
Registered: Dec 2005

posted August 29, 2007 06:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for double trouble gemini     Edit/Delete Message
i guess he had a bad experience with some people and he was letting it out on others.... sounds like he was really frustrated
but since he is working at an indian restaurant and he is bad mouthing everyone including indians maybe u should send an anonymous letter to the manager/owner and tell him what is going on.
it is unethical what this guy is doing no matter what the reason for his behaviour i think he must be set straight.
as far as getting close to you, there is no excuse and he should know his limits.

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AcousticGod
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From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005

posted August 29, 2007 06:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message
That is really strange. Talk about biting the hand that feeds. Why would he want to work there?

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lalalinda
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Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted August 29, 2007 11:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message
There is no excuse for bad manners
register a written complaint
and let the owner know that you won't be back untill the problem is solved.
The worst that can happen is they won't act on it in which case they don't deserve your business.
Sorry that happened to you naiad

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naiad
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posted August 30, 2007 12:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for naiad     Edit/Delete Message
thanks for the responses in this thread....and thanks LalaLinda.

that's the thing, why indeed would he be working there, with such an abusive attitude??

i've thought that perhaps he might be the new owner...though that's just as bizarre really. a good portion of their clientele is Indian. why be so offensive and risk your own business?

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SattvicMoon
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posted August 30, 2007 01:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SattvicMoon     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Why would he want to work there?

a billion dollar question perhaps!


Such fools would never understand that the world is coming closer, as One......

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SattvicMoonz Home Page and Blog

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thirteen
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Posts: 1107
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004

posted August 30, 2007 09:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for thirteen     Edit/Delete Message
Well said Sattvic. I wonder if some of them will ever get it??

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SattvicMoon
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posted August 30, 2007 01:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SattvicMoon     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I wonder if some of them will ever get it??

Nope, they won't and will end up on the wrong side of the life as well. Whoever understands move forward into the new world, others, they are bound to perish in the doom they have created! It is all a Within Factor!

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SattvicMoonz Home Page and Blog

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naiad
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posted September 06, 2007 09:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for naiad     Edit/Delete Message
well, we returned to this restaurant last week -- they have this amazing tamarind soup with amazing spices that always cures any cold/flu symptoms i have...

so anyway, he made just one racist comment to us this time, something about being the only *gringos* in the restaurant...

i suppose that at some i should ask him to refrain from his racist commentary...it appears that the staff doesn't mind.

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artlovesdawn
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posted September 07, 2007 12:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for artlovesdawn     Edit/Delete Message
..

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naiad
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posted September 07, 2007 01:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for naiad     Edit/Delete Message
how kind of you ArtLovesDawn. what lovely sentiments.

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Dervish
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Posts: 328
From: California
Registered: Nov 2006

posted September 07, 2007 04:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dervish     Edit/Delete Message
My roomie and I love Indian cuisine, too. He might not say anything to us given that my roomie is blasian. (And if he did, whoa! She's an Aries, with an Aries ascendant, and an Aries moon and mars, IIRC! I call her an "Aries deluxe" :P).

If he's driving you away, then I think that's cause to complain. They can decide who they'd rather have--you as customers, or him as an employee. It probably takes more than one person complaining, too, but if most don't complain, then they're not likely but to get "an isolated complaint" here and there.


As for the thing "against Mexicans," I live close to the border and I don't see that as being racial or xenophobic. In fact, the people who have hated the illegal immigration the most are the LEGAL immigrants and those here on visa. Granted, there is racial strife as well, but I think that's quite different from the current political firestorm regarding illegal immigration (though I'm sure the racists and xenophobes--which aren't just by whites, btw--will exploit to the best of their ability).

A strongly liberal friend of mine also is against illegal immigration passionately, for she believes that it will undo all the positive changes here in the US labor laws (from unions to minimum wage laws). She welcomes the LEGAL immigrants, however.

Granted, I don't hang around racists, and given that the majority of my friends are minorities (and legal immigrants), I doubt they'd be likely to confide in me. So maybe the racial (white and otherwise) supremacists, separatists, and all the others may be more common than I think, but I haven't noticed it if that's so.

Even here on the border, the ethnicity of the ones most likely to be feared are those from countries dominated by Islam rather than south of the border. Even when a local news channel tried to incite hatred of Mexicans by revealing the prostitution smuggling done by Mexican criminals, the general reaction (as far as I could tell anyway) was sympathy for the Mexican women being used and hatred for the Americans who patronized them. They hated the criminals, Mexican AND American, sure enough, but not "the Mexicans."

The media, however, rarely makes this distinction.

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Heart--Shaped Cross
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From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
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posted September 07, 2007 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
I've heard that in India there is a lot of good natured teasing between the Hindus, Muslims, and Sikhs. Maybe they don't know that this man's "jokes" aren't quite so innocent. It sounds to me like this is just a very disagreeable, inconsiderate person, and its too bad if he ruined this restaurant for you. I doubt he'll keep his job there very long if he keeps this up though.


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naiad
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Registered: Sep 2006

posted September 07, 2007 10:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for naiad     Edit/Delete Message
very tired atm....and this subject makes my brain tired as well....

thanks for the thoughts.

will return upon a more coherent time.

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