posted September 17, 2007 08:44 PM         

My heart goes out to your dad and mom, you his wife and kids all his family and friends. My heart goes out to your brother too.

Wish I had the answers as to why but I don't.

posted September 17, 2007 09:03 PM         

My brother just left rehab about 3 weeks ago and he his been using Crack Cocaine for the last year or so and his wife also. They have two children also, that have been really affected by all this.

My brother called the police one nite at the Motel that he was staying, jumping from one to the other for a good part of this summer. He had lost everything, dog first, two cats died, lost house and everything in it, he just walked away from it all, the kids, wife, and even his clothes and said he don't what any reminders????

posted September 17, 2007 10:36 PM         

We've tried talking to her but I don't know. The last time I saw her she looked better.

We did end up telling her parents.

Her 2 sisters, my sister, and I had a talk with her one day.

But who knows. We're not always with her.

I don't know what to think. I'm gonna call her next week so we can get together.

Your brother has his ASC in Cancer 27 degrees. Just like me.

I also have Venus in Taurus.

He's in a better place now. It was his time to go.

He wanted to go.

Think of the good memories.

posted September 18, 2007 01:21 AM         

quote:

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Dear Darling Nam- My heart and love goes out to you. i lost my nephew 2yrs ago and am losing my daughter to it also. We went through our "if only"'s and "maybe if i had"'s after the loss of my nephew but HE was the chooser after all as is your dear brother. i am now holding you close to me Nam; my left arm around your shoulders and my right slowly stroking your head and hair. You are a true seeker and spiritual attainer and a jewel to myself and others here. As sad and terrible as this loss is it will strengthen you.
I started that thread on meth products and meant Cocaine too-i believe these drugs are direct spiritual attacks against souls.
In my visions he may not realize he is gone yet because of the nature of these drugs. i would/will prayerfully ask that an enlightened guide or angel find him, encourage him to let loose of his Earth connections, and seek the light and what i call "the healing stone". If/when he goes/releases he can choose/seek healing/higher vibrational learning/frequencies-those that choose to leave the Earth skin seem to have to restart at very low frequencies and re-evolve/at-tune
more slowly. With these drugs (cocaine, meth, crack,ice) there is a danger of not letting go of the earth attachment. As well as comforting you, I will pray he realizes he must let go and go on.
if I offend you with my belief, i apologize Nam, and beg your forgiveness at presenting it so forthright. Peace love and protection to you from Tuxedo Meow

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I am sorry sweetie, I meant to answer earlier but I end up leaving the house and forgot.
To answer your question, no, you are not offending me, but I wish you would be a bit more detailed or explain what you are trying to say with other words, I am not really sure if I am understanding well.
Thank you....It might be my tired mind as well.Sorry about that.

posted September 18, 2007 01:35 AM         

quote:

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nam i'm REALLY SORRY for you. Compare to what you are living right now, none of the things that keep me busy and worried are worth any attention.
Like everyone else here, i feel for you and i give you as much love and hope as you need, so feel free to take it, that's all i can do for you.
I'm sorry that "whoever create this lifes of ours" makes you go through such an ordeal, but i can't help to think that even if your brother is gone now, it's just a matter of time before you meet him again, and not necessarily in another dimension but on this very dense and material Earth.
I can also speculate that time as we imagine it, as something linear, is not the proper way to see it. the past, the future, the present, all are happening at the same time, and your brother might not be able to respond to you physically but believe me he is REALLY still here. now in spirit instead of spirit AND body. this is an objective truth as much as the fact that the concept of love existed before any human grasped its meaning. it just exist. it just is. the same is true for your brother being still her, safe and "alive". i dont think he went anywhere as a place per se, but more into another way of experiencing the greatness of life.
i'm not an astrologer but what i can see from your brother's chart is that he had a grand trine in air signs, may be making him wiser beyond belief and he could have understood the meaning of life and found it a little to easy to go through it all again and again, so he found some ways to keep himself busy. some will probably see more than i can in his chart. and i hope they will contribute to help you shed some positive light on the soul of your brother and his intent during his lifetime.
I wish i was a qualified medium to get in touch with him, but i'm not. I'm confident though that he will rest in peace until he decides to incarnate again and see how he can work on HIS issues. meanwhile, the best thing you can do, is to attend to YOUR needs and, as far as you can, to those around you that you love and want to support, so you will (all) be even more able to welcome him as a member of your intimate relationships in another life. good luck NAM

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posted September 18, 2007 08:22 AM         

I don't know if this will mean anything or apply to you now, and I certainly mean no disrespect, but it was the first thing that came to my mind when I read your first post. It's from a book called The Healing Runes by Ralph H. Blum. I remembered him writing this book taking the traditional runes and reinterpreting or "progressing" them for healing. Anyway, it was his message of the Rune of Anger (Disruption) that came to mind.

quote:

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Anger

The challenge for you in drawing the Rune of Anger is to take Anger's powerful energy and treat it as an ally in your healing, a wake-up call for change.

This Rune announces that the moment has come for you to let go of Anger. Know that in doing so you must give up the old and be willing to wait patiently for the new to be revealed to you in its proper time.

Be mindful that there are situations in which Anger can serve as a signal from within, a warning that something in your life is out of balance, unexamined or crying out for attention. In drawing the Rune of Anger, you are being asked to consider this possibility.

Since Anger is often a mask for hurt, fear or feelings of abandonment, look beneath your Anger and ask yourself: Are you feeling angry because you feel no one is listening, because it seems that no one sees you or because you have no one to turn to? Has some aspect of the present situation caused fresh pain in an old wound? Whatever may be the case, welcome Anger as information. Explore it, see where it is coming from and how it prevents you from saying what you truly mean to say.

Receiving this Rune need not be taken as a challenge or a demand that you face your Anger. In fact, you needn't even be angry to draw the Rune of Anger.

Each Rune offers you an opportunity for meditation. So take time to think about your circumstances. Meditate on your Anger. See if you can find a safe passage that leads from the present situation to a place of harmony and peace.

Anger at injustice can be a liberating and powerful force for change. Healthy Anger, appropriate Anger, can free you to break old patterns of helplessness. Anger is a force that can provide you with the energy to change.

There is a blessing for you in receiving this Rune, a new way of looking at life, a new way of responding to conflict. When you are able to take that new perspective out into the world, surely then you can call Anger your teacher and your friend.

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For everyone ... I read through this thread and the Meth thread also. I haven't anything to say myself that could even approach the gravity and sorrow of this topic. I would just like to share this with you instead, in case it is ever useful to anyone.

quote:

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Welsh Rune

In this fateful hour,
I call upon all Heaven with its power
And the sun with its brightness
And the snow with its whiteness
And the fire with all the strength it hath
And the lightning with its rapid wrath
And the winds with their swiftness along the path
And the sea with its deepness
And the rocks with their steepness
And the earth with its darkness.
All these I place,
By Heaven's almighty help and grace,
Between myself and the powers of darkness.

- Traditional

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posted September 18, 2007 10:29 AM         

In case you've never read these:

EKR stages of grief Interpretation

1 - Denial Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc., relating to the situation concerned. It's a defense mechanism and perfectly natural. Some people can become locked in this stage when dealing with a traumatic change that can be ignored. Death of course is not particularly easy to avoid or evade indefinitely.

2 - Anger
Anger can manifest in different ways. People dealing with emotional upset can be angry with themselves, and/or with others, especially those close to them. Knowing this helps keep detached and non-judgmental when experiencing the anger of someone who is very upset.

3 - Bargaining
Traditionally the bargaining stage for people facing death can involve attempting to bargain with whatever God the person believes in. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?.." when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death.

4 - Depression
Also referred to as preparatory grieving. In a way it's the dress rehearsal or the practice run for the 'aftermath' although this stage means different things depending on whom it involves. It's a sort of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness and regret, fear, uncertainty, etc. It shows that the person has at least begun to accept the reality.

5 - Acceptance Again this stage definitely varies according to the person's situation, although broadly it is an indication that there is some emotional detachment and objectivity. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must necessarily pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.

(Based on the Grief Cycle model first published in On Death & Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, 1969. Interpretation by Alan Chapman 2006.)

This theory is often challenged, so don't worry if you don't follow it exactly, but it does give you a base to understand that what you are feeling is perfectly natural.
I'm glad you are thinking about spiritual things more now.

posted September 18, 2007 10:31 AM         

Johnny, the kitchen sink has been clogged for days, some utensil probably fell down there.
And the Drano won't work but smells dangerous, and the crusty dishes have piled up

waiting for the plumber I still haven't called. This is the everyday we spoke of.
It's winter again: the sky's a deep headstrong blue, and the sunlight pours through

the open living room windows because the heat's on too high in here, and I can't turn it off.
For weeks now, driving, or dropping a bag of groceries in the street, the bag breaking.

I've been thinking: This is what the living do. And yesterday, hurrying along those
wobbly bricks in the Cambridge sidewalk, spilling my coffee down my wrist and sleeve,

I thought it again, and again later, when buying a hairbrush: This is it.
Parking. Slamming the car door shut in the cold. What you called that yearning.

What you finally gave up. We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want
whoever to call or not to call, a letter, a kiss -- we want more and more and then more of it.

But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass,
say, the window of the corner video store, and I'm gripped by a cherishing so deep

for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat
that I'm speechless:

I am living, I remember you.

posted September 18, 2007 12:29 PM         

Those stages of grief are always a good reminder for any loss in our lives.

posted September 18, 2007 05:31 PM         

Love to you and your family

posted September 18, 2007 07:01 PM         

____________________________________________

"Thank you for your words, but how will I know it is him; I've read we reincarnate many times with the same beings or around the same beings , but I don't know who they were before.
And another question I had before was if we are constantly coming back then how am I going to find my dad again, or how will I see my kids again when I go?
And will I recognize them? after all we have been so many different people before...
I am not scare of dying , is just all the other questions that bother me.

____________________________________________

well quite frankly i'm puzzled as much as you are about your questions.
I do not know if we ever recognize our friends or family members in different lives.

What I think, and i precise that it's only a very personal understanding of the meaning of life, is that OTHERS are here to show us OUR impact on them.
Or said differently, they are only mirrors of who we are. so if you experience love between, let say, you and your brother, to me, this experience is a mean for you to understand which part of yourself needs to be stimulated to trigger in you the feeling of love, or which part of yourself prevent you to feel this love, and this, in turn, if you want to act on it, gives you the means to understand yourself and to "change" yourself,...

so to answer your first question, i don't know if and how we can recognize our relatives from previous life, (or even if it's necessary or a good thing because some drama are, may be, best left behind to apprehend the present...) but i believe that this understanding of IMPERMANENCE of things (including relationships) gives us the chance to live more consciously every encounter with those left around us in the here and now.

and to push it a bit further, i think you can cherish all your experiences with your brother (whatever they were, including his sudden death) as presents he gave you to further your understanding of yourself. this way you don't grow anger or resentment towards him for leaving you and for having abused of your dad's generosity for example, but develop some forgiveness, compassion, and understanding for him, but ultimately for your own sake because you "better" yourself, to put it that way.

If i was entitled to give you any advices, which i'm not, i would tell you to keep in mind how he himself, will always live through you by the ways he helped you (and will still do for this lifetime) to grow spiritually.

you see, i don't believe, personnally, that we should get so attached to one physical expression (one body, one personality of a relative) to the point of forgetting that we are differentiated expressions of the same thing (to give it a name, let's call it god)... it makes sense especially if you believe, like i do, in this concept of non-dualism, i.e. amomg other things, that others are here to give you hints about yourself and vice versa because you are everything; and because nothing else exists except what is in your mind, and this being true for everyone, anywhere, and at anytime. (so in that logic it's impossible to become self centered because, paradoxically, the OTHER PERSON is himself everything and you are just an instrument for his development!!)

when you'll feel the need, cherish the thought of your brother and remember the unique moments you had together and the brilliants, life-changing hindsights you gained thanks to him, and try to accept to let him go;
It's a VERY, VERY hard and painful process but one necessary to everyone and that we'all have to go through at some point. we can opt out of it because it's painful, but the good thing of facing the dragon inside is that when you have killed it, YOU HAVE DONE IT ONCE AND FOR ALL, BECAUSE YOU COULD DO IT AGAIN, SO YOU'RE FREE AND YOU CAN HELP YOUR RELATIVES TO FACE THEIR DRAGONS.

above all, when it get TOO tough, i suggest you relativize with the idea that this whole thing we call life is a big joke and, i believe, just a game that god found to entertain himself. THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT YOUR BROTHER HAD IN THE BACK OF HIS MIND when he so easily gambled his life.

this is only what i think. i hope it can help you to go through this indescribable time in some ways, may be. i had the time to get around these ideas myself as i grew up with my dad's remains six feets under.

Discard anything you don't like about what i said, and please don't be put off by the pompous and over-the-top style, or blame my Jupiter throning in my third house in virgo.

posted September 21, 2007 11:28 PM         

I haven't been able to go back to my books yet, I have been working more on my house cleaning, rearranging files...
anything where I don't have to think spiritually;Until 10 minutes ago where I pulled his astrological chart and noticed he has a sagitarius ascendant as I do and that caught my interest, more so on his cancer descendant, I never put much thought into that on my own chart.And decided to make a post on that at the astrology forum.

Sometimes I come here and just look at the posts but I hardly open any to read, not even my own "love" ones I started so I can get to the bottom of what people really call love and what I call love, is like it doesn't matter anymore.
(A little on the drama side) My perspective feels like we are doomed, if we are not on our toes constantly we'll mess up somehow and something will happen to us but when we are good there are no rewards so to speak.
Yeah maybe I am just over dramatizing but it sure feels that way.

All I hear is he didn't have a choice and no addicts have a choice sooner or later it will get you, I truely don't beleive that but how can I proof or come up with the answer on how to use the power of the mind to overcome addictions (any addiction, alcohol,drugs,porn,eating etc) and where do we cross the line of over indulging and addiction.