My brother OD last night.

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Author	Topic: My brother OD last night.
NAM Knowflake Posts: 1995 From: Sunny place. Registered: Jan 2007	posted September 17, 2007 12:27 PM Fcking clean for 9 years....9 fcking years! All of the sudden starts questioning his marriage and his own self, 3 months ago he started doing it again, went back to rehab comes out good and clean again, and then last night he was found on a hotel room by himslef with cocaine, laying on the floor. I don't understand how anything can be more powerful than the will power to live a healthy life.I just don't get it. Why is it that men are becoming so weak and their way out is always alcohol or drugs, it destroys so many lifes, and what are the women doing? becoming more and more empower and think we can just do it all. I am sorry but this society is just sht and I am pssed. IP: Logged
MysticMelody Moderator Posts: 3521 From: Registered: Dec 2005	posted September 17, 2007 12:37 PM God help us, indeed. You go right ahead and be **** , Nelly. Its horse ** and it suks and you didn't even get to say goodbye and you had no idea it was happening since he had been clean so long and the pressure was just so much for him because of how everything is constructed and how everything is against time with family and time to create nurturing relationships and because of that you lost your brother. F-in b.s. for sure. Get mad, you need to for a while. And go through whatever you need to go through. We are here for you. IP: Logged
lalalinda Moderator Posts: 3291 From: nevada Registered: Jun 2005	posted September 17, 2007 12:57 PM So sorry Nellie IP: Logged
yourfriendinspirit Moderator Posts: 2528 From: California, USA Registered: Oct 2006	posted September 17, 2007 12:57 PM Oh! Forgive me for the confusion: Is he alive? / Did he die from this over-dose? quote: Why is it that men are becoming so weak and their way out is always alcohol or drugs, it destroys so many lifes, and what are the women doing? becoming more and more empower and think we can just do it all. I hear you loud and clear! There really are as many answers to this as there are excuses from those that choose it. None quite perfect or rewarding itself. Did you notice the word choose? Yes, I believe with all my heart it is a choice. This is really sad. My heart goes out to you and your family. Please no matter what else transpires take the time and energy to support his wife right now. She's probably just as terrified as well as feeling guilt, and blaming herself, the situation, everything and anything she can grasp on to. She needs your support! Oh Nellie, I feel so disheartened when I hear stories like this. I've been there, perhaps you have too... After four years of marriage to a man like your brother, I finally gave up. I could not change him, help him, or support his choices any longer. He was the Love of my Life. Surprisingly, he is alive today 16 years after our divorce. He has been to and through Hell and back. No longer an alcoholic drug user but the scars will always remain. ------------------ Sendin' love your way, "your friend in spirit" IP: Logged
Battle of Evermore Knowflake Posts: 1145 From: Registered: Sep 2004	posted September 17, 2007 12:57 PM I'm so sorry, Nelly. You have have a right to be angry. Society just seems to get worse and worse with every generation. We've turned it into a world where there seems to be an easy way out for everyting, for thinking, for loving, for living. It's terrible that you didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Fate seems so cruel because everything just seems to hit you when you least expect it. Even to strong people, things get rough and tough. But like Mystic said, we're here to listen to whetever you might need to talk about while you're going through this! Much love! IP: Logged
goatgirl Knowflake Posts: 954 From: Anywhere Registered: Jul 2002	posted September 17, 2007 01:23 PM I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my meditations. Peace. GG ------------------ The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good. ~ Bertrand Russell IP: Logged
MysticMelody Moderator Posts: 3521 From: Registered: Dec 2005	posted September 17, 2007 02:25 PM inspirit, you are right, i just assumed he had passed on, but maybe i misunderstood IP: Logged
NAM Knowflake Posts: 1995 From: Sunny place. Registered: Jan 2007	posted September 17, 2007 03:07 PM Thank you for the words, yes, he has passed , he was found last night OD at a hotel room by himself with cocaine. As wrong as it sounds and as much as I have cried so far I feel the worse for my dad. My dad stood by his side for many years, with counselors, rehab and quiet a bit of energy spent on him financially, morally, spiritual etc It kills me to think a father/mother is putting their own son/daughter to rest. For years we always thought that once my dad was gone we were going to pick up the job of helping my brother because even know he wasn't doing drugs anymore he was still irresponsable and he could never look after himself, he was a very smart and happy person but just didn't care, and I can't quiet understand why would someone go through life like this. About 3 months ago he once more decided to be "free" and left his wife and children, I don't know what came first but they tell me he had fallen for another woman and with that (or before that) came the drug addiction, my dad sent him to rehab right away (he agreed) and about a month he was out. Well, last night he was found in this hotel room, what can he be doing in a hotel room by himself , the whole thing is just so fishy, I mean, I am sure nobody put a gun to his head and took him there, and I am not trying to blame anyone else, all the opposite, I know it was all him, he actually should have been dead long ago... But why all these? why being so weak, why looking for the easy way out, why putting my dad through hell. If something would happen to my dad I would loose it... As I always say, I want answers.I want to talk to whoever creates this lifes of ours.(no I am not crazy, a lot of you seem to think there is such entity, I even deep inside think there is). My brother's b-day was April 28 1973, but I don't know at what time was he born.If anyone cares to look for some "clues" IP: Logged
fayte.m Knowflake Posts: 9809 From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Mar 2005	posted September 17, 2007 03:24 PM Nelly {{{hugs}}} ------------------ "Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over and start a rehab for the damned!" ~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~ ~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~ ~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~ ~ if you keep doing what you did, you'll keep getting what you got.~ Everything changes. Fear not the changes. "My body is physically disabled, but I am not my body nor am I its disabilities!" }><}}}(> <){{{><{ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ IP: Logged
yourfriendinspirit Moderator Posts: 2528 From: California, USA Registered: Oct 2006	posted September 17, 2007 03:28 PM Sad.... Really sad...... Oh, I am sooooooooooo heartsick for your family. Yes, you absolutely have a right to be angry! Please keep open arms towards his wife and children... They are still family and desperately need the Love and Support as well. In reference to his day of birth: Pisces Moon Comes To Mind... Do you mind sharing his place of birth? ------------------ Nellie Sendin' LOT'S of love your way, "your friend in spirit" IP: Logged
miss_muffet Knowflake Posts: 832 From: Registered: Mar 2004	posted September 17, 2007 03:30 PM So sorry to hear that. Lots of love to you and your family. MM IP: Logged
NAM Knowflake Posts: 1995 From: Sunny place. Registered: Jan 2007	posted September 17, 2007 03:39 PM Lima.Peru. Thank you again to all of you. IP: Logged
SattvicMoon Knowflake Posts: 2282 From: Registered: May 2007	posted September 17, 2007 03:39 PM NAM ------------------ SattvicMoonz Home Page and Blog IP: Logged
thirteen Knowflake Posts: 1107 From: Rochester Hills, MI USA Registered: May 2004	posted September 17, 2007 03:46 PM Nam, i have a brother like yours. Hooked on cocaine. He goes on and off and im waiting for the day........ I always tell myself that if he dies at least i will know he will be free of the pain that he has here on earth. I don't know either why its so hard for some people to deal with life. So many of us in my family are fine so why can't he cope? I relate to your feelings 100 percent. God bless you and your family during this awful time. And no there is not one additional thing anyone could have done to stop this from happening. I've read so much on drug addiction and unfortunately there is no answer. The conclusion always seems to be... you have to let them live their life. Kathy IP: Logged
Node Knowflake Posts: 1162 From: Crowded House Registered: Nov 2005	posted September 17, 2007 04:22 PM NAM: I am very, very, sorry for both his and your loss. Much sympathy. IP: Logged
yourfriendinspirit Moderator Posts: 2528 From: California, USA Registered: Oct 2006	posted September 17, 2007 04:22 PM Click Here To View Full Size I did this chart using noon as his birthtime, if anyone would like to peek. ------------------ Sendin' love your way, "your friend in spirit" IP: Logged
tuxedo meow Knowflake Posts: 878 From: Texas Gulf Coast, USA Registered: Jul 2005	posted September 17, 2007 05:46 PM Dear Darling Nam- My heart and love goes out to you. i lost my nephew 2yrs ago and am losing my daughter to it also. We went through our "if only"'s and "maybe if i had"'s after the loss of my nephew but HE was the chooser after all as is your dear brother. i am now holding you close to me Nam; my left arm around your shoulders and my right slowly stroking your head and hair. You are a true seeker and spiritual attainer and a jewel to myself and others here. As sad and terrible as this loss is it will strengthen you. I started that thread on meth products and meant Cocaine too-i believe these drugs are direct spiritual attacks against souls. In my visions he may not realize he is gone yet because of the nature of these drugs. i would/will prayerfully ask that an enlightened guide or angel find him, encourage him to let loose of his Earth connections, and seek the light and what i call "the healing stone". If/when he goes/releases he can choose/seek healing/higher vibrational learning/frequencies-those that choose to leave the Earth skin seem to have to restart at very low frequencies and re-evolve/at-tune more slowly. With these drugs (cocaine, meth, crack,ice) there is a danger of not letting go of the earth attachment. As well as comforting you, I will pray he realizes he must let go and go on. if I offend you with my belief, i apologize Nam, and beg your forgiveness at presenting it so forthright. Peace love and protection to you from Tuxedo Meow IP: Logged
Azalaksh Knowflake Posts: 6485 From: New Brighton, MN, USA Registered: Nov 2004	posted September 17, 2007 06:18 PM My sympathies at the loss of your brother, Nelly You're angry now and that's perfectly appropriate for the way he departed this plane. But I hope that one day you can come to an understanding that drug/alcohol addiction is not necessarily "weakness" -- in fact in most cases it's an actual physical illness exacerbated by the brain chemistry of those afflicted. For some reason, some people are more susceptible, and less able to cope, than others. I left my son's father 10 years ago because I'd had enough of the clean/using rollercoaster and rehab and classes and jail and around and around again. Unless they choose to come to terms with the illness they have, and choose Recovery, the drugs/alcohol will always be in their lives. Those who are addicted can come back from the brink. They can avoid falling into that hole in the sidewalk, they can look down that dark and slippery slope into the void and feel the fear of backsliding that keeps drugs/alcohol out of their lives. I'm a Cola-Survivor -- it can be done. You wrote: quote: I don't understand how anything can be more powerful than the will power to live a healthy life. The euphoria you feel when you're high is the draw -- a "healthy life" doesn't hold a candle to the way drugs/alcohol affect your mind, heart and body. Your brain remembers how powerful, intelligent, exciting, attractive (whatever) the substance makes you feel, and it nags you to feed it some more so you can return to that euphoric state. Unless you've been taught, or learned on your own, how to achieve that state drug-free, "normal" life doesn't give you that euphoric state. I'm sad that your brother lost his battle with the insidious substance Sending {{{ hugs}}} your way, Nelly..... edit YFIS ~ Pisces Moon (in VIII) here too..... IP: Logged
ListensToTrees Knowflake Posts: 3844 From: Infinity Registered: Jul 2005	posted September 17, 2007 06:33 PM Life isn't easy. It never is. It's just a journey. ------------------ It would be nice to evolve some sort of telethapy of the heart; empathy. A feeling, knowing inside how we are all interconnected. Empathy/ love would be a a law unto itself. I have been wondering- perhaps we are only 'Free' or have 'Free Will' in as much as we are spiritually awakened. We are like Gods in amnesia. This amnesia is the source of our soul-sickness. IP: Logged
MysticMelody Moderator Posts: 3521 From: Registered: Dec 2005	posted September 17, 2007 06:40 PM You don't have to thank us, build up your energy and just keep checking in. God bless you and your family, especially Brother Poor Dad. Do you have any other brothers or sisters? IP: Logged
alma_pisces Knowflake Posts: 234 From: bottom of the ocean Registered: Sep 2004	posted September 17, 2007 06:55 PM I am so sorry..... IP: Logged
Wednesday Knowflake Posts: 695 From: The big C... Canada :) Registered: Jul 2006	posted September 17, 2007 07:05 PM I'm sorry. IP: Logged
fayte.m Knowflake Posts: 9809 From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Mar 2005	posted September 17, 2007 07:13 PM I don't know what to say except that I understand. I lost a friend to alcoholism which killed him before age 30. A sister to drug use at age 28. A mother who is still messed up. An ex who could not give up the heroin. An ex who drinks despite having an illness in which drinking can be deadly. The list sadly goes on. I understand dear Nelly.{{{hugs}}} ------------------ "Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over and start a rehab for the damned!" ~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~ ~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~ ~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~ ~ if you keep doing what you did, you'll keep getting what you got.~ Everything changes. Fear not the changes. "My body is physically disabled, but I am not my body nor am I its disabilities!" }><}}}(> <){{{><{ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ IP: Logged
praecipua Knowflake Posts: 425 From: england Registered: Aug 2007	posted September 17, 2007 07:57 PM nam i'm REALLY SORRY for you. Compare to what you are living right now, none of the things that keep me busy and worried are worth any attention. Like everyone else here, i feel for you and i give you as much love and hope as you need, so feel free to take it, that's all i can do for you. I'm sorry that "whoever create this lifes of ours" makes you go through such an ordeal, but i can't help to think that even if your brother is gone now, it's just a matter of time before you meet him again, and not necessarily in another dimension but on this very dense and material Earth. I can also speculate that time as we imagine it, as something linear, is not the proper way to see it. the past, the future, the present, all are happening at the same time, and your brother might not be able to respond to you physically but believe me he is REALLY still here. now in spirit instead of spirit AND body. this is an objective truth as much as the fact that the concept of love existed before any human grasped its meaning. it just exist. it just is. the same is true for your brother being still her, safe and "alive". i dont think he went anywhere as a place per se, but more into another way of experiencing the greatness of life. i'm not an astrologer but what i can see from your brother's chart is that he had a grand trine in air signs, may be making him wiser beyond belief and he could have understood the meaning of life and found it a little to easy to go through it all again and again, so he found some ways to keep himself busy. some will probably see more than i can in his chart. and i hope they will contribute to help you shed some positive light on the soul of your brother and his intent during his lifetime. I wish i was a qualified medium to get in touch with him, but i'm not. I'm confident though that he will rest in peace until he decides to incarnate again and see how he can work on HIS issues. meanwhile, the best thing you can do, is to attend to YOUR needs and, as far as you can, to those around you that you love and want to support, so you will (all) be even more able to welcome him as a member of your intimate relationships in another life. good luck NAM. IP: Logged
Johnny Knowflake Posts: 2056 From: Colorado, USA Registered: Nov 2004	posted September 17, 2007 08:00 PM Condolences, for what it's worth. Wishing you and your family the best. IP: Logged

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