|
Author
|
Topic: Why do women always blame the other woman and NOT the man?
|
writesomething
Moderator Posts: 2291
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006
|
posted November 12, 2008 05:21 PM
 
The whole Angelina/Jennifer thing is so strange to me because it seems like Jennifer is angry at Angie and not Brad. Shes still friends with Brad. Im sure shes angry at what he did, but from what Ive seen/heard she leaves most of the blame on Angelina.
It seems like women do this all the time. Blame the other woman but not the man. Maybe because a lot of men cheat and it seems the "norm"..The whole thing annoys me.Sorry for the celebrity gossip, its the psychology behind it that intrigues me.
quote:
She asks me if I ever saw a cartoon that appeared in the New York Post a couple of years ago that depicts Aniston talking on the phone in her kitchen. The bubble over her head says, HI ANGELINA…I DECIDED TO TAKE YOU UP ON YOUR OFFER OF A "SIT-DOWN TALK."…In the drawing, Aniston is loading a shotgun, and there is a copy of Vogue sitting next to her. (The cartoon was inspired by an interview I did with Jolie for this magazine in January 2007 in which she said she would welcome the opportunity to "sit down" with Aniston.) Someone sent Aniston the cartoon ("the funniest thing I've ever seen," she says), and afterward, she could not resist the urge to buy a copy of Vogue to see what the fuss was about. What really rankled Aniston about the piece was that Jolie felt the need to recount a detailed timeline of exactly how her relationship developed on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, while Aniston was still married to and living with Pitt. "There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening," says Aniston. "I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss." Aniston, still galled, shakes her head in disbelief. "That stuff about how she couldn't wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool."
http://thesuperficial.com/2008/11/jennifer_aniston_calls_angelin.php IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3795
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
|
posted November 12, 2008 05:42 PM
Wow, I was thinking the exact same thing.
The old double standard.
Hey wasn't Brad Pitt engaged to Gwyneth Paltrow when he and Jen hooked up?It seems to be a pattern in Brad Pitt's life.
Hook up with someone then dump them for someone he has on the side.
A malicious cycle
Do you think Angelina can cure him of this?  but then again you know how Karma is  right now I'm watching George W
Suge Knight
OJ Simpson (there was a time when each of these people seemed untouchable) IP: Logged |
Kick It
Knowflake Posts: 967
From: Leeds
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 05:46 PM
Cheating is never good. Should have done the decent thing and split up with her before being intimate with Jolie, if that was the case. Although it isnt exactly a fling and they seem quite happy with the kids, so maybe Brad and Angelina are the best partners for each other.Maybe the anger is jealousy, maybe she wants to be nice to Brad in case of a reunion. Who knows, but think of all the trees cut down to give everyone all the latest gossip with the ongoing saga. Think of the trees! IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 13767
From: CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
|
posted November 12, 2008 05:59 PM
Could it be a societal undercurrent? Are women essentially trained by their elders to look at other women as competition?IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 5592
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:01 PM
Yeah - I never get that either. I think it's the man's responsibility, if he's involved with someone. He should take responsibility. If he's the one in a committed relationship - he's the one damaging it by going outside of it. Loneliness is a really heavy thing and people will make choices that aren't the wisest to fill that void. But when someone is already with someone, that relationship is theirs to carry, not the third persons.IP: Logged |
Scorpionic Web
Knowflake Posts: 795
From: Pennsylvania
Registered: Dec 2005
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:12 PM
I would love to know why so many women do this, it's completely misdirected blame, and it makes no sense. But I must say, as a male, it is really amusing to see women get so angry at other women when they should be targeting the man. IP: Logged |
teaselbaby
Knowflake Posts: 1424
From: Northeast Ohio
Registered: Sep 2002
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:18 PM
I got into a similar conversation a few weeks ago ~ I don't understand it either. *edit. Oops ~ I was talking about some women placing all of the blame on "the other woman" whilst continuing to love the man - nobody put a gun to his head, forcing him to cheat... I agree with taurus/gemini cusp in that it doesn't seem right to continually talk about that situation in interviews. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 5592
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:29 PM
SWMaybe they somehow associate blaming him with blaming themselves for him straying? IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 5592
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:35 PM
AGI don't know if it's conditioning, I don't think it is - I think it's far more primal than that, but women are competitive with each other. When women walk into a room they immediately check out other women - not to praise them or out of curiousity to see how they're dressed - but to see if they look better - sizing up the competition - so they can determine who has the most chances with the most men, or even one in particular. How often do we hear someone comment on a man being with an "ugly" woman when he could have had a beauty. Remember when Michael Hutchence hooked up with Paula Yates and everyone was saying how could he leave the very beautiful looking Helena Christensen for Paula? Maybe Paula had more than a pretty face to offer him. Maybe there were major sparks between them that went beyond anything else. Some women never get past the appearance thing. Good looking women are a threat to insecure women. IP: Logged |
Scorpionic Web
Knowflake Posts: 795
From: Pennsylvania
Registered: Dec 2005
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:35 PM
Edit: nevermind, I was briefly confused.IP: Logged |
taurus/gemini cusp
Knowflake Posts: 746
From: London, England
Registered: Sep 2006
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:38 PM
I don't actually think she is placing the blame on Angelina Jolie for "stealing" her man, as such. What Jennifer Aniston was actually referring too, was the repeated comments made by Angelina in various interviews about how and when she fell in love with Brad Pitt. Brad and Jennifer were still married at the time, and Jennifer is angry that this woman keeps bringing it up to garner publicity for herself. Whether or not Pitt and Jolie did the dirty, it is in very bad taste for Jolie to keep publicly discussing how they fell in love while he was still married. It must be very painful for Aniston. I kind of agree with Jennifer here - either Jolie is spiteful b!tch, or very, very thoughtless and neither is redeeming.As for no animosity towards Pitt? Well the only thing I've ever heard him say on the whole affair (pun intended!) was something along the lines of; "Just because my marriage didn't last forever, doesn't mean it was a failure" which is fairly generous I guess. I guess you could say I'm team Aniston. Whilst Jolie has no doubt done some wonderful good in the world (and for that I applaud her), Aniston seems, well so much less contrived. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 5592
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:43 PM
AGI think people are basically very animalistic. So any type of social undercurrent works back to basic animal instincts of survival, sexuality and procreation. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 5592
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:48 PM
SW & AGDo you think when the roles are reversed - when the woman cheats - that the dynamic is the same - the woman gets the blame? IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 4122
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:49 PM
Yeah competition, that's why. Brad Pitt is the prize so he can do no wrong. Men are "expected" to behave like that, no offence intended. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 5592
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:51 PM
23If I thought the man thought he was the prize - that would be the biggest turn off for me. If he thinks he's all that - then he can stick with the person who is in love with him the most - himself. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 4122
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:53 PM
Well, I think it was harder in their situation as I think Jen didn't know what was going on, so there really was no direct competition as such. Who knows what happened when she did discover it, was it before or after plans for divorce or when they stopped living together or whatever. But yeah, the competition thing. If I was forced to compete against another girl, then I'd walk away myself. There's no way I will be coming off second best or having to compete. Also if the woman is the cheater, I think she would get blamed. Everything kind of goes back to the harem mentality. When it comes to things like this, guys always stick together anyway. They'll ditch the girl or share her after the initial punch up and then move on. Women can't. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 5592
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:56 PM
quote:
If I was forced to compete against another girl, then I'd walk away myself. There's no way I will be coming off second best or having to compete.
I'm the same. She can have him. I would rather someone who was willing to give me 100% of themselves so that I can feel secure enough to do the same for them. Do you think that once a cheat always a cheat?
IP: Logged |
Kick It
Knowflake Posts: 967
From: Leeds
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 06:58 PM
Lots of stats around, first one I found: quote:
Are men cheating more than women? Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship
Tut tut!  Just using these figures, it does say upto 55% of women and it does say 50-60% of Men. Probably 50%. Men add notches onto the bedpost and women take them off, so figures for women could be a lot higher.
Maybe 40% of Men and 60% of women is higher.
I guess all this equality lark for women has gone too far. Wanting to be equal in everything now. Its conclusive, Women cheat more than Men. Tut Tut! 
IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 5592
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 07:03 PM
KIThose stats are phenomenal. So you could virtually say that in a crowded room - 50% of the crowd are cheating with each other. What a shocker! I've never cheated. I can't imagine the guilt. Just that would put me off. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 13767
From: CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
|
posted November 12, 2008 07:03 PM
quote:
Do you think when the roles are reversed - when the woman cheats - that the dynamic is the same - the woman gets the blame?
I think it's more apt to go either way when the situation is reversed. Yes, the betrayed man could attack the new man, but could also just retreat from the situation altogether wondering why he was betrayed. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 4122
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006
|
posted November 12, 2008 07:03 PM
quote:
Do you think that once a cheat always a cheat?
Well, they know the drill kinda. I think they would cheat if they knew how to get away with it and did so the first time they did it. If they did get caught, then it depends on the ramifications maybe. It depends on the person's self control really. However, it is hard to get away from the idea anyway, "a leopard never changes its spots" type thinking. As mentioned before, women ovulate once a month and an egg is worth a lot. Selection of a mate is essential because they want fertile and viable offspring. Women cheat in order gain a better father for their offspring. If the other man is better than the partner, then the woman will cheat to gain the benefit of better genes and use the parter to raise the child. Win-win situation for the child. This is what cuckoos do with their eggs, lay it in other birds' nests. Men cheat because their sperm is cheap and numerous. Their goal is to produce viable and fertile offspring and the way they do this is by trying fertilise as many females as possible that allow them to compete against each other and other successful males.
IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 5592
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 07:07 PM
AG quote:
but could also just retreat from the situation altogether wondering why he was betrayed.
Actually, yeah, you're right. I have seen that. I suppose there's never any really good answer as to why someone was betrayed. You meet people all the time. You have mental and emotional brakes that make you know where to stop (or should know, I guess). I can understand why people cheat in terms of they're not happy etc, but they should leave the other partner first if they're going to pursue someone else.
IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 5592
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted November 12, 2008 07:09 PM
23 quote:
Men cheat because their sperm is cheap and numerous. Their goal is to produce viable and fertile offspring and the way they do this is by trying fertilise as many females as possible that allow them to compete against each other and other successful males.
That's a heartbreaker. Because it basically alludes that all men are cheats. I hate that. No-one wants to think their partner would stray. It's cutting. Or even to think that you would be replaced as a woman when you stop producing those eggs. IP: Logged |
teaselbaby
Knowflake Posts: 1424
From: Northeast Ohio
Registered: Sep 2002
|
posted November 12, 2008 07:10 PM
quote:
If I was forced to compete against another girl, then I'd walk away myself. There's no way I will be coming off second best or having to compete.
Same here. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 4122
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006
|
posted November 12, 2008 07:12 PM
PA - I think there is more complex things in place, human society and ideals, standards and morals and love come in. If those things weren't in place, I imagine things would work like that.Ever wonder why the honeymoon period exists in a relationship? They've done studies to show that relationships are very good in the first two years because it takes that long for a baby to get strong enough and be only dependent on its mother only if a child is conceived the moment the parents commence a relationship. Biochemistry shows this as well. Also if the father sticks around, then the child would be more successful as well. Btw, cheating in animals or primates is related to testes size as well. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
