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Author Topic:   hurt a bull
Trina A
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: Houston, TX , Harris
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 07, 2006 04:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Trina A     Edit/Delete Message
I am a Sagittarius, and I recently had a fight with my Taurus bull. I hurt his feelings with some harsh words, after he angered me. Now he needs some space to rethink the relationship. In the past he has hurt me in other ways, but never sees that. Instead he says: If I was hurt by him all those times,ĒwhyĒ did I stay with him. I stayed with him Ďcause he begged me not to leave him. I gave it all I could, and I didnít get anything back. I feel robbed of all my hard work. If someone could share some advise on how a bull thinks, especially a male bull it would help.

His B-day is: 05/15/83
Mine is:12/14/80

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 3987
From: Bisbee, Arizona
Registered: May 2002

posted February 08, 2006 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
Trina,

I don't envy your position. I don't know much about this bull or the extent of your relationship (meaning, how long the two of you have been together) but it sounds similar to what I went through.

My b-day is 12/16/69 and his was 5/19/75.

Yep... Me Sag.. him Bull... LOL..

He never acknowledged his slights, but had no problem pointing mine out. He could say horrible things to me and then find a way to turn it around as though it was my fault.

He would start an argument, or I would confront him with something he had said / done and he would become angry. Somehow the whole thing would be turned back onto me and I felt as though I caused the problems. (Like your bull, mine did not want me to leave or break up). Instead, I would have to endure the 2-4 days of silence / pouting.. then he would act as if nothing had happened.. OR he would lecture me as to how terrible my behaviour was.

Not all Bulls are like this. I dated one that has a Sag moon / Merc in Aries. We were able to get things right out in the open, without days of silence...etc...

If you are dating one like I was engaged to RUN AWAY.. follow your gut. If he cannot accept that he has caused you pain (his flimsy excuse of "well you never left me" doesn't cut it) then he is never going to be there for you when you need him.

Evaluate your relationship patterns. If you run through the course of the time you spent together and you notice how you were always there for him, being the clown to make him happy when he was sad, calming him down when someone at work / school slighted him, making his favorite treats...etc.. only to discover that in that same amount of time he never really listened to you when you were hurt or when you had problems.. then you will see a pattern that will exist for the rest of the relationship.

Again.. not all are the same - but if you are with the variety of bull that I was engaged to, then you will find that nothing seems to get better and it will get worse. He will begin to notice the things that hurt you (like the silent withdrawal) and that will become his punishment. No matter how hard you try to please him, nothing will work.

When you walk away, he will be at your door trying to win you back (after about 2-3 weeks where HE thinks you will be back, because every other time you came back or tried to make it work). Then he will say he has changed and how sorry he is for hurting you..etc... then it's great for about a month..then the pattern starts again.

My ex called me (this is after he has been working to get me back since we broke up in July) last week... to ask me if I would have my father pick up a gift for his ex-girlfriend. OMG!!! I said "Do you realize what you are asking?" He then turned it on me and I was the bad person.. how could I be so cruel...etc...

He was so self-absorbed he did not see how offensive his request was. I told him I never wanted to talk to him again, that his true colors came out once again..and goodbye.

I am not sure if this helps, but if you get more indepth about your relationship and the kind of bull he is, that will help.

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Happy Dragon
Knowflake

Posts: 1079
From: .. land of apprentice articians ..
Registered: Apr 2005

posted February 08, 2006 04:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
*Trina A*
thought i'd be .. ahem .. .. polite 'n let the gals reply first .. :

i'll take a look at those dates .. see if anything is 'obvious' ...
just two queries though ..
**In the past he has hurt me in other ways, but never sees that.**
.. could you elaborate slightly ?? ...
( i don't beleive this .. the 'william tell' oveture is playin' on the radio .. right now )
.. so how has he hurt thee ??

how long have you 2 been a 'couple' .. ie aprox when did u become an 'item' .. as it were ??

Linda Goodman had some exellent obsevations about Sag and Taur ....
it can be a laugh a minute and a load of joy .. potentialy ...
one of her books was (can't remember title .. Help knowflakes ! ) ....
about how all the Sun signs relate to each other .... so in other words
you get Sag and Aries .. Sag and Gem .. etc etc
it's worth reading All the subchapters about one's particular sign ..

btw: Sag / Taur is quite a common combination ..
can think of a couple of comedy duos ..
and amongst friends .. one long term marriage ...
although mr.sag did something pretty krappola on his 'night before'
the wedding .. slept with another woman then gave his new (taur) wife
a case of STD .. which had futher complications regarding their potential offspring .

how she ever forgave him is beyond me .. but she did .. after a few years ..

anyhow .. i'll go see whats happening re : those birth dates ..
.. you'll probably be back together by the time i get back here .. maybe ..

h.d.

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 3987
From: Bisbee, Arizona
Registered: May 2002

posted February 08, 2006 05:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
Trina,

I have to agree about the Sag and Bull being a common combination. I see it often and it does work out incredibly well. I really enjoyed being with the Taurus Sun / Sag moon that I dated. We just had circumstances that caused us to separate, but who knows what the future will bring.

In that case, we connected mentally, emotionally and physically. He was / is kind, caring, and just a joy to be around. We could talk for hours and never get bored. He was generous and open - not because he felt he had to be, but because that was his nature.

I never once felt hurt by him, even though my bluntness sometimes hurt his feelings. But we were able to always work through it. I found a true friend in him and will always think highly of him.

My best friend is a Sag and his partner is a Taurus. They make one heck of a couple with the Sag being the entertainer and the Taurus smiling indulgently at the Archer's antics. It is quite a sight and you can see how much they love and protect each other.

As with all signs, there are some evolved and some that are unevolved. I would never, ever throw all Bulls out with the bath water... just learn to screen out the bad ones

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Trina A
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: Houston, TX , Harris
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 08, 2006 05:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Trina A     Edit/Delete Message
Ok. Here goes. We started off casually, and at the time we got together, I felt that I was doing all the chasing. I was very attracted to him and didnít know why, he isnít that great looking but there was something underneath I wanted to get to the bottom of. We hung out in the same circles.

In January of last year we got closer. And I though we where having fun. All the time having feelings that he was just cheating on me. Later on that year I was upset to hear that this girl would call my phone and tell me that she was involved with him at the same time, and he talked badly of me behind my back. She described things that only he and I would know.

I donít know, but he is always neglecting me and when I get mad and leave him he begs me not to leave.

We had a talk and I cried because I was so upset that he wanted to leave me. I felt that I put in most of the work and got nothing in return. I was forgiving and always there.

Pidaua, I was reading on this site for a while and following your story between you and the Taurus. It made me think of me and my bull.

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Happy Dragon
Knowflake

Posts: 1079
From: .. land of apprentice articians ..
Registered: Apr 2005

posted February 08, 2006 05:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
just a thought before i go offline .. ( ( i've yet to read thru new posts here .. )

re: sag and taur

it helps a lot if both parties could be aware of their differences from the astrological aspect .. although i wouldn't envy anyone trying to get a 'T' interested in astrology .. if in the first place they were to think the subject a load of bollocks ..

other differences aside .. the T's need to learn 'tolerance' ... not usualy one of their stronger points ..

keep getting this image in my head of a lone 'archer' (centaur with bow 'n quiver ) in a clearing on top of a hill .. the clearing be surrounded by woodland .. just out of sight amongst the trees .. a herd of bulls (if the centaur be female) .. whispering to each other ... " watch that bow arm guys .. 'n be ready to take cover " ..

till 'later
.. etc ..
h.d. .

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Trina A
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: Houston, TX , Harris
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 08, 2006 06:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Trina A     Edit/Delete Message
When we talked I could feel him hurt and needing his space. I was hurt also, and at the same time he didnít want to see me hurt either. I can already see that cycle you where talking about Pidaua. Back and forward, like a cat and mouse game. But things never change no matter how much I communicate to him that he hurts me, and I need him to be there for me.

Whatever decision he makes it at lest will be from him and I am glad. I will not go back with him if he ends it and I will not tolerate anything less than the respect I deserve. I will respect him if he wants to move on. The thing I will take from this is a learning experience at the least.

Dragon; thanks for the visual. I like that.

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Happy Dragon
Knowflake

Posts: 1079
From: .. land of apprentice articians ..
Registered: Apr 2005

posted February 08, 2006 07:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
Trina-A ...

seems your taur. guy be under some 'pressure' from the planets ..

these are .. at a glance ..

mr.t-bone : 05/15/83 (lone star locale)
current transits from the 'outer planets'
*transiting. Sat opposing nLillith and transiting. Chiron conjunct natal Lillith ..*
**transiting. Uranus square to natal Uranus** ( " ... if he wants to move on." )
*transiting. Pluto opposing. n.node*

trina-a.sag :12/14/80 (lone star locale )
at the moment
transiting. Neptune be 3 deg *PasT* a square with natal Chiron
no other major 'challenging' aspects by transit ...

if your not familiar with 'transits' in astrology .. drop a note here .. or get 'researching' via various links .. (normaly posted in the astrology forum)

i could post both charts here 'n see what feedback you may get from that ... i've not studied them .. but for starters he has a tight group of planets in taurus ..

just saw this ..
**Dragon; thanks for the visual. I like that**
ok .. for ref .. and hopefuly not biased .. i be one of the lot amongst the trees .. .. and have stumbled across various centaurs .. .. if anything they have taught me to be a somewhat more flexble and tolerant towards (most) others ..

for now .. must charge off .. ... must smell the flowers before i do though
(soldering and typing don't realy combine too well .. former takes priority at mo.
will regaze at charts over nxt 48 or so .. .. till then .. or sooner ..

**
hd

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LibraSparkle
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Posts: 5917
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted February 08, 2006 09:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraSparkle     Edit/Delete Message
Happy Dragon, I believe the title of the book you were looking for is Love Signs.

Trina, I've been with a Bull for 11 years now. I just wanted to let you know: I know from experience that all Taurus men aren't that way. My husband has never, and never would, talk badly behind my back... and he is very faithful. In fact, he is so faithful that if a woman so much as flirts with him, he finds it necessary to confess it to me right away.

The Taurus temper is not something to be taken lightly. Don't try to push him... it will blow up in your face. Probably both literally and figuratively. I have had to learn the hard way not to push my hubby too hard, or too far. Trust me, it's not a pretty sight... and it's no fun!

Also, I wonder if you have read the string here in SU about Emotional Vampires, compliments of our friendly neighborhood Dragon. I think you'll find it worth the read.

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Trina A
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: Houston, TX , Harris
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 09, 2006 09:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Trina A     Edit/Delete Message
I think he has the potential to becoming that great guy you talk about Sparkle, but he is still young and is not sure of what he wants in life. When he is good, he is real good and when he is gone I donít know what to feel.

I have been reading a little of the Emotional Vampires.

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 3987
From: Bisbee, Arizona
Registered: May 2002

posted February 10, 2006 04:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
Trina,

It sounds like you are involved with an very unevolved Bull (but more importantly, a very selfish conceited young man - regardless of his sign).

He expects you to be there yet when he wants his space or to play his game, you are put on the shelf. This can happen with ANY sign, trust me, I have watched friends go through it.

Sagittarians can be naive in that we DO try to see the potential of the person... that is part of the "future oriented" part of our nature.

BUT.... that future man may NOT be your future man. You need to accept that and ask yourself if you are will to have the emotionally energy drained from you only to have him walk out.

I was appalled when you shared what he did to you. 1) How did that woman get your phone number? 2) How did she get details that only the two of you knew if he did not share them with her? 3) Why are you letting him still have control over the relationship?

It may hurt to cut the cord, but this guy sounds like the typical narcissist in the thread about emotional vampires. Most of the time... say 99% of the time, THEY DO NOT GET BETTER.

Mine is almost 31 years old and he is still very much the emotionally stunted child. I know you may not see it now, but you are playing into the NS role. I didn't want to see it, even though I was warned and FELT it in my gut.

I am sure you feel it as well. The EV people are excellent at making you feel that guilt deep down for their hurts. When you try to leave, they will share some crisis with you, some excuse as to why they need you so much. THEN.... when it goes back to "normal" out come the lies, the inability to reach them on the cell phone, the pouting etc...


Again.... NOT all Taurus men are like this. In fact, very few of them would ever stoop to that level. The EV men are abnormal but know how to pick prey. You will have to learn, most likely from this situation, how to discriminate between the good men and the vampires

My heart it with you.. but, if I was in your situation... I would cut the cord- it's hard, but things won't change.

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Trina A
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: Houston, TX , Harris
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 10, 2006 06:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Trina A     Edit/Delete Message
Dragon:

**transiting. Uranus square to natal Uranus** ( " ... if he wants to move on." )

What does this Transit mean?

You know he hasn't pulled completly away, he still calls, almost routinely, I am not one to crowd another if they want some space. But he is "thinking".

I was engaged once to a Libra for 4 years, and I never felt the Strong pull I feel with my 'T'.

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Trina A
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: Houston, TX , Harris
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 10, 2006 06:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Trina A     Edit/Delete Message
Pidaua:
I see what you are saying about your 3 points. I asked myself all those questions. I am the type to cut the cord without looking back, but I may have a tendency to stay in a bad situation too long. Once it's cut though, no going back. No matter who did the breaking up.

Funny that my ex's long to have me back, miss my funny side, miss my caring nature. I just don't feel the need to take a step back, the past is the past leave it there.
I don't want to see 'T' in a few years and him want me back, I want him to want me today, with my all my flaws.

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Happy Dragon
Knowflake

Posts: 1079
From: .. land of apprentice articians ..
Registered: Apr 2005

posted February 10, 2006 07:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
*Trina A*
.. i've not forgotten this thread ..
will pop back later if i can .. must go eat something ...

from what i've read so far ( and i must reread thread .. )
i'd say .. give him a miss in the romance stakes ..
you move on .. astro wise .. good time for you to move ahead ..
i mean look forward and up to the sky .. be a Sag .. be yourself ..
for him astrowise .. krappola time for long term romance ...
and very little stability for him .. he won't like that ...
.. it will stress him .. the astro transits .. that is ..

shall write what i can about it ... a bit later .. after food ..
if i can move ..

'later ..
hd

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Happy Dragon
Knowflake

Posts: 1079
From: .. land of apprentice articians ..
Registered: Apr 2005

posted February 10, 2006 11:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
Trina A
re:
***((transiting. Uranus square to natal Uranus** ( " ... if he wants to move on." ))) What does this Transit mean?***

hi .. the following txt is from a computer astro programme ... so it is only a general guide to that transit .. (i can work out when you had same .. it may ring a bell )
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
**Uranus Square Uranus**
The temptation to break free of all restrictions will be almost impossible to resist now. Emotional ties which have, until now, tethered you could now be broken. This transit will affect you twice in your life - once around the age of 21...and the second time around the age of 63. Youíve now reached a watershed in your life. This period will herald the end of an old cycle...and the beginning of something new...and so the wheel of life turns. Therefore, family, personal and professional ties may now be severed. But itís in your best interest to leave on a cordial basis - cut the ties smoothly and without animosity...donít leave frayed and jagged edges. At the age of 21, this transit often signifies youthful rebelliousness and a demand for independence.
On the other hand, if these changes are be forced upon you against your will...then the transition from one cycle to the next may not be quite so smooth and effortless. Finding yourself in unfamiliar territory could leave you feeling confused, bewildered and unsure of what to do next.
At the age of 63, many people retire and subsequently feel lost without their work. Remember that work was just a means to an end. Itís time to revaluate your priorities...this should be the beginning of the most precious time of your life - a time of wisdom and serenity.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
this link be the page it came from ... if you read down the various paragraphs you should see a common thread re: transits from Uranus * * http://www.happydragon.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Uranus%20square%20ts.html * *
... this txt ("Back to Link Page") on above page will link you back to a page about 'aspects' ..... there is more info there regarding how to understand transits ..
********************
this is the basis about transits ...
********************
the planets .. as they move arround the zodiac circle, make 'aspects' to the planetary positions set at the time of birth (i.e. the birth chart ) .. .. .. 'aspects' .. are the geometric angles separating the planets around the zodiac .. so transiting aspects are just like the ones found within the chart ( conjunctions, squares, oppositions, trines, sextiles .. etc ) and as the transiting planet moves .. so does the angle change to any given natal planet or placement .. or in other words the transit aspect 'builds up' .. then 'eases off' .. over time ..
transits from mars , mercury, venus are relatively short .. a few days .. extended if the planet in question goes retrograde .. those are sometimes known as the 'Personal' planets .. or 'Inner planets'
transits from the 'outer' planets be somewhat different .. Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus and Pluto move relatively slow .. Jupiter has a 12 yr cycle (cycle .. as in once around the zodiac circle ) .. Saturn 28 .yrs .. Uranus 84.yrs .. Neptune 165. yrs .. and lilltle ol' Pluto .. 248.yrs .. .. .. .. it be the Outer planets .. in particular when they aspect a Personal placement/planet .. that seem to give folk the hardest or best of times ( in terms of astrological transits and ppl reactions to same )
********************

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Happy Dragon
Knowflake

Posts: 1079
From: .. land of apprentice articians ..
Registered: Apr 2005

posted February 10, 2006 11:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
Trina-A:
short para. about Uranus in astrology ... the Uranus Oppostion transit is at about age 40 .... that's primarily why it's said ..'life begins at 40' (from an astro perspective ) and on another level that be around the same time folk begin to live and project their sun sign more than their ascendant ( so 1 theory goes )
**********************
**Uranus** has come to symbolise unexpected and traumatic change. Usually this happens when the Saturnian principles of order and control become too rigid - either in either our personal lives or in society as a whole. Some people in life display powerful Uranian drives, either by spearheading progressive reforms, or- less constructively by standing out from the crowd through shocking or anti-social behaviour. Whatever the level of expression, Uranian individuals seem to crackle with a mysterious force that generates excitement, eccentricity or danger. For most of us, though, the influence of Uranus is not so consistently evident. It tends to take us by surprise when it is activated in our personal lives, for few of us are receptive to the wholesale change it often demands. As a result Uranus is often felt to work disruptively, breaking down attitudes or situations which have become fossilised. Yet no matter how painful these rude awakenings may be, they offer us the chance to take control of our destinies and live our lives in accordance with our deepest wishes. In this sense, Uranus can be seen as a truly liberating agent. On other levels it corresponds to electricity; lightning; any sudden illumination or original discovery; eccentricity; all innovative technologies; the abstract sciences; revolutionary ideals; reforms; anarchy; democracy and civil liberties.
********************

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Happy Dragon
Knowflake

Posts: 1079
From: .. land of apprentice articians ..
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posted February 11, 2006 12:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
Trina-A
... re: past Uranus transits in your chart ..

April 2001 untill November 2003 ... Uranus by transit squared (aspect) your natal Venus and Uranus placements ....

what stands out about March - December 2004 till June 2005 is that transiting Pluto conjoined (conjunct aspect) your Sun and Neptune placements .. it was 'exact' during those months .. so would have 'tinted' 2004 and most of 2005 ..... it was still extremely close orb in Jan 2005 ..
two things you may want to investigate in your chart .. as in .. two major aspects ... (1) *Neptune conjunct Sun* .. and (2)* Uranus conjunct Venus* .. .. understanding both will help you understand your scene with mr.t ...

suggestion .. go to .. astro.com .. input data for the 'free birthcharts' .. use 12 midday as time if you don't know those .. .. ignore the 'houses' and 'moon' data for now .. ... look at the 'clik to veiw' option on the birthchart symbols .. clicking on those will upload 'translations' .. normaly 2 of by different astrologers .. that is one way to get info on those aspects plus other data .. like the signs they are in etc..

mr.t has .. *Saturn conjunct Pluto* .. *Jupiter conjunct Uranus* .. *Sun .. Chiron .. Mars conjunct to each other* .. with Mercury not too far off (does he talk a lot? .. about his opinions .. does he take to verbal wounding? .. how about physical wounding? .. self or others ?)

more info .. if i can .. a bit later
be well ..
** **

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Happy Dragon
Knowflake

Posts: 1079
From: .. land of apprentice articians ..
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posted February 11, 2006 12:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
Trina-A

.. part of an article regarding Uranus in the birth chart ..
( you have *Uranus conjunct to Venus* .. )

*Feeling Separate: A Uranian Dilemma*

Uranus represents shock and change, detachment and going one's own way. Uranus contacts in a natal chart can symbolize a need for freedom so extreme that it can lead to detachment from others. Uranian emphasis can indicate an openness to everything and, therefore, an unwillingness to commit to any one thing. Such continual expressions of individualism and the desire for freedom can lead to feelings of separation and alienation in a Uranian person.

Alienation is the bugaboo of those with a Uranus aspect. When we get beyond the surface images of the Uranian archetypes (Genius, Revolutionary) and explore the emotional framework of such individuals, we can see that alienation is a very real force in their lives, leading to the expression of other faces of Uranus, such as the Outcast and the Loner.

Think about it: Just one zap from a Uranus transit can awaken us to realize how stifled we feel in our lives. We may feel trapped and restless, straining at our bonds, disconnected from those around us, wanting a change. Sometimes, we have a sense of loneliness and alienation, without knowing where to turn. Well, a transit eventually ends. But for those of us born with a Uranus aspect, it can seem as though we experience this transit energy daily. We may feel restless, disconnected, dissatisfied, misunderstood, torn in different directions, and struggling to be a part of something that takes us outside of ourselves, outside of our loneliness.

Phyllis Firak-Mitz wrote an excellent article on Uranus that was published in The Mountain Astrologer. In this article, she rightly identifies the Uranus challenges as Abandonment, Alienation, and Aloneness. 10 Here is a planetary energy that embodies change, sudden insight, and revolution; yet, in a natal chart, it more often represents the emotional residue of genius and individualism ? feelings of alienation and aloneness. Firak-Mitz points out in her article that Uranian-influenced individuals can actually create their own sense of alienation by (1) focusing on differences, (2) being rebellious, and (3) choosing to feel abandoned.

** An Article about .. Neptune and the Sun .. can be found here ** ( your Sun is conjunct to Neptune ) .. **
http://www.happydragon.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Neptune_Sun.html

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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Happy Dragon
Knowflake

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From: .. land of apprentice articians ..
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posted February 11, 2006 01:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
*LibraSparkle*

.. i forgot to say "Thanx" for the book title .. ..
.. have now written it in stone ..

h.d.

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LibraSparkle
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posted February 11, 2006 11:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraSparkle     Edit/Delete Message
You're quite welcome, Mr. Dragon.

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Trina A
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From: Houston, TX , Harris
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 13, 2006 09:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Trina A     Edit/Delete Message
Happy:
I am going to check into Astro.com.

ďmr.t has .. *Saturn conjunct Pluto* .. *Jupiter conjunct Uranus* .. *Sun .. Chiron .. Mars conjunct to each other* .. with Mercury not too far off (does he talk a lot? .. about his opinions .. does he take to verbal wounding? .. how about physical wounding? .. self or others ?)Ē

He sometimes says things that make me made. But most of all he doesnít really say what he feels. I am always left guessing.

Friday I went over to his house, he and I just hung out. We were being close and showing each other affection. I checked in with him just to make sure he was still on his space time. I donít want to get confused. I really donít know what he is doing????


Lately he has been concerned about me; like finding someone else and what not. But he is still torn between going out and being free and being with me. ÖÖÖÖ.

Well Iíll let you know what else happens.

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pidaua
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From: Bisbee, Arizona
Registered: May 2002

posted February 13, 2006 05:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
Trina,


What is it you really want from the relationship? It doesn't sound like you have been happy at all. I think you are wearing our perverbial rose colored glasses or... now you are at the challenge stage. You want HIM to come back to you... or take you back because you are feeling unwanted.

But, you are not ready to really let go. All the other times were more for drama and effect than you actually wanting to leave.

Many times people fall into the trap of wanting space and yet not wanting to let go. Taurus is NOT afraid to let you know how they feel. When they really want someone THEY will pursue you. I never went after a Taurus or chased them- especially knowing that many are used to being chased.

Taurus is blunt about what they want or don't want, but they will never throw away a good piece of a$$ or pie.. get my drift.

If he wants you back and has already had this time to think about things, don't you think he would have said "hey, baby... let's make this work, I love you and want to be with you?"

Space.. another word for "leave me alone when I want my freedom to play and be here when I want to play with you".

I know this may have sounded harsh.... and I hope that I am wrong. But I do know one thing about Taurus men- the more you chase and throw yourself at them, the more hurt you are going to be when they find that someone that trips their trigger. They will do anything in their power to get that object of desire or WAIT as long as they have to for the person to be available. I know, because I have been that object of desire.

Be true to your Sag nature and allow yourself the freedom to love as you want. Throw yourself into other activities, go out with the girls and flirt up a storm with hot men.

If not and this guy is like the emotional vampires we discussed earlier (and you did say there were many similarities) then you are going to be in for a severe disappointment. If he is truely like that, then he does not love anyone nor is capable of understanding another's emotional needs. You will be forever trying to please him and gain his affection. Be independent and show him that you are your own woman and watch him change. Or at the very least you will open the door to finding someone that will love and respect you!!!

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Trina A
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: Houston, TX , Harris
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 14, 2006 09:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Trina A     Edit/Delete Message
I have told myself over and over, that this is not how I would normally act. I want to get into my real mode, but feel like I am just sad right now. I know I have to completely let it go. I don't want to talk to him anymore. I feel it's for the best now.
I am talking to other men, always have.

I see what you are saying about the Taurus doing the chasing, I have DIFFERENT one chasing me. I also have had interest from a Libra, but he likes me more than I like him. Even though the Libra is the hottest one of the bunch, why do I like my Taurus more???

I am getting stronger now. It doesn't take me that long to get back on my feet. I am regaining my strength.
You are right about him doing the chasing..........if he really wanted me he would have come after me. AND THAT HURTS ME THE MOST, everyone would ask me why do I act like that with HIM he's very cute but not the HOTTEST GUY. His friends and family were surprised that I wanted to date him. My friends always said I was too pretty for him.

Can you give me advice on how I should handle letting him know that the space is now a real breakup? (Without getting sucked back in by my emotions.)

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Nihilive
Knowflake

Posts: 39
From: Dearborn Heights, MI, USA
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 14, 2006 11:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nihilive     Edit/Delete Message
With a taurus, it isn't going to be an easy breakup no matter how you'd like it to be.

As being one myself, I would say you just have to be really blunt about it. Say you no longer have any feelings for him and do not lie about who you may have feelings for, because if you have any intention of remaining friends at all, and you're dishonest about anything in the breakup, he'll sever all contact from you forever.

You'll become his worst enemy for being disloyal to him.

That is all I can really recommend.

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Trina A
Knowflake

Posts: 16
From: Houston, TX , Harris
Registered: Feb 2006

posted February 15, 2006 09:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Trina A     Edit/Delete Message
If he wants to be free why is he calling me? I text him yesterday. Only, because I am very emotional when we talk over the phone. I said that ďI want to be happy with him. I donít want to talk to him anymore and I want to move on if I canít have him treat me special or want to be with me.Ē
I also am calling him today just to meet with him to give him the proper breakup.
Nihilve:
Why canít it be an easy breakup? I have feelings for Him, I want it to work. That is the honest truth. The other men I go out with are just friends to me. I have many male friends, and yes some want to go out with me but I just tell them I can only give them my friendship.

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