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Author Topic:   difficulty with happiness
eyes_like_pisces
Knowflake

Posts: 157
From: mpls, mn, usa
Registered: Feb 2013

posted July 20, 2013 02:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for eyes_like_pisces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you ever notice that it seems like many women have difficulty in their love lives because they are always chasing that initial "spark"? I I'm not really talking about anyone in particular. But it seems like a common theme in the media and In the younger generation.

Me for example. I don't go chasing relationship after relationship. But I might be guilty of finding problems or exaggerating/obsessing over things that I don't need to be. Which makes me less happy then I should be. To quote one of my favorite movies "i feel like I'm designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything."

Today I trapped myself Into comparing my relationship with my friend's. He mentioned the two things his most grateful for I'm his relationship is their ability to evaluate how things are going / to communicate openly and honestly. Which transfers over to their sex life and "date nights."

These two things just happen to be my biggest concerns in my relationship. And could be whats keeping me from being happy and enthusiastic. Which I feel shameful for not feeling. I want a happy and infectious attitude that I can provide for my boyfriend.

But these things have me worried that we don't have the skills to sustain a healthy long term relationship. That I See my friend has (to whom I'm very happy for) and I know its not fair to my boyfriend to be making these kind of comparisons.

Anyone deal with this before. Any ideas how to change my self destructive thought patterns?

I have moon in 12 house scorp conj Pluto btw
Ascendant square mercury in 3rd house

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Geeky
Knowflake

Posts: 543
From:
Registered: Dec 2012

posted July 20, 2013 06:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by eyes_like_pisces:
But I might be guilty of finding problems or exaggerating/obsessing over things that I don't need to be. Which makes me less happy then I should be."

I thought I was the only one. I told my partner recently "I don't mean to pick fights over stupid stuff... I just don't know how to function in a good relationship"

Sadly, that is true.

From birth, I've learned nothing but dysfunction. This man is the best human I've ever known (besides my children) so I hope I don't mess it up.

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Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 2744
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted July 20, 2013 09:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
moving this to Soul Unions

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Doux RÍve
Moderator

Posts: 4901
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted July 20, 2013 02:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux RÍve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A lot of people struggle with being happy.
Actually, probably the majority.

I'm sorry you guys are going through this.

Just remember you're not alone in this and try to work things out with your partners, even if it seems difficult / uneasy.

Best wishes ~

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Geeky
Knowflake

Posts: 543
From:
Registered: Dec 2012

posted July 20, 2013 10:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux RÍve:
Just remember you're not alone in this and try to work things out with your partners, even if it seems difficult / uneasy.

Oh no no noooo! I cannot imagine ever leaving him. It's just that I've been dealt such a crap hand for so long that I don't even know how to be with a good man. Men in my life (dad, step-dad, uncles, ex-hubs, etc.) have all let me down so tremendously that it's hard to be positive and believe that he won't.

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genesis3310
Newflake

Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted July 21, 2013 04:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for genesis3310     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I absolutely struggle w being happy. I'm a cancer, so sometimes I feel cursed and often wish to have been both under a different sign Lol. I have both Venus and mercury in cancer and my Mars and Saturn are also in Scorpio-so there's a lot of water sign emotional madness going on. The biggest way I try to handle it is through appreciation. It's not easy, though. I try my very best to stay in the NOW....which is a fairly enormous obstacle.

Perhaps, try to concentrate on the general goodness of the person....I wish you luck!

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eyes_like_pisces
Knowflake

Posts: 157
From: mpls, mn, usa
Registered: Feb 2013

posted July 21, 2013 07:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for eyes_like_pisces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not unhappy with my relationship. I love my boyfriend tremendously...but I can't get passed finding some insignificant issue about the relationship and then exaggerate that issue in my mind. Like I force myself to stress over something, just so I can be stressed I guess. Then I worry myself ...'oh no....what if this thing tears us apart.'

I also worry about weather it will last. Like I have to mentally prepair myself for a time when it could all go wrong. Though I've never felt more sure and secure in a relationship :/

Like Geeky, my childhood was pretty dysfunctional and it its almost not normal to feel completely happy for people that have had these kinds of childhoods.

And when ever I'm not happy or just kind of "blah" I get horrendous amount of guilt over it. I know being happy makes my partner feel happy, and gives him security that he's doing everything 'right.' Id like for him too feel like that all the time. What's worse is he's incredibly intuitive and if I'm kind of down he senses it and thinks he's too blame

Thanks also to Genesis. I try to use this method too! And I I understand the heavy water influence. But cancer's arn't so bad they have the luxury of being a summer sign (the south hemisphere)...I think these people have a much more optimistic outlook.

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