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Author Topic:   Worried I might fall for another Scorpio man
Leolady82
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From: San Francisco, CA USA
Registered: Oct 2013

posted November 03, 2013 01:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Greetings, all!

This is embarrassing to me, and a long story but it's easier to put this anonymously online here than to talk about it to people I know.

I am a 31 year old Leo female, Moon in Aquarius (I know, it's weird), Sagittarius rising, Venus in Cancer and Mars in Scorpio. I live with a 36 year old Double Gemini (Cancer rising, Venus and Mars in Taurus) man whom I've been dating on and off for 3 and a half years. We've had a tumultuous time and have been to Hell and back, so to speak, but after Burning Man this year (we've been to 3 of them together, never without each other) we've moved passed a lot of our issues and have bonded to where our relationship is loving and easy and sincere.

Enter the Situation: an East Coast business associate of his has been collaborating work with him for about a year. I have talked on the phone a few times with this guy, and he decided to personally move to San Francisco where we live because he's sick of his own city and my boyfriend and he are going to start up a company in Northern CA together. Pretty much, we're going to see a lot of this guy. It's imperative that we all get a long, of course, and I've had my man's previous business associates sometimes treat me like I'm expendable/without respect/as if I'm unworthy because I don't work except for HIM as his personal assistant. I like to think of my occupation as Girlfriend and it's a good life! But I definitely work hard to make sure we're both happy. Anyway, I was somewhat concerned that this guy wasn't going to be nice or something worse.

The first time I met him in person in late August we went to pick him up from his hotel and take him to The Crustacean restaurant for dinner and to chat about plans. When we puled up so he could hop in our car, my heart sank and my stomach flipped. This guy was ******* HOT. Just my type and I thought, "Ohhhh noooo." Probably about 5'10.5", 180 lbs, short brown hair, gorgeous bone structure, the most beautiful seafoam-green eyes...and just a terribly attractive MANLY air to him. What's worse? He's going to be THIRTY-NINE on the 14th and he looks 29. No grays, barely any wrinkles. OK so he's gorgeous, whatever...

At dinner I decided to order a whole crab to eat, for two reasons: a. I didn't want to talk too much; this was a BUSINESS meeting between my boyfriend and Dude, and I'm pretty extroverted and bubbly. After living 31 years I've learned to tone it down and shut up so strangers won't get annoyed or whatever. People are judgmental, etc. b. I was SO attracted to him instantly on sight (which rarely happens to me in my life, I'm picky) that I KNEW that if I ordered a whole, messy crab and ate it like a brute, no one would suspect that I was turned on by this guy because NO girl does that! Also he probably wouldn't want to look at me, so I could have free range to look at HIM. I know, I'm awful--with my boyfriend right next to me, too!

Dinner was enjoyable but I got even more frazzled on the inside because Dude turned me on more and more the more he spoke. I learned that he was born in DC, son of a politician but moved to Pittsburgh with $700 to his name and a broken-down vehicle, only to build himself up to be well off enough to drop $100,000 on our business plans, and all by himself. I learned that he has some anxiety that he has to deal with because he works so hard (this shows he's not perfect and willing to show his vulnerability), and that he was FINALLY taking a vacation to HI with some girl he's been casually dating (good choice, and I assume he was treating HER). I also just liked looking at his face when he expressed himself, and his voice, and especially his small, manly-shaped but gorgeous colored eyes AND...he sure had thick lips for a white guy. That's one of my weaknesses. I also liked how he gave ultimate power on decision-making to my boyfriend. My man is definitely very take-charge, bossy and dominant so if this guy was the same, I couldn't see it working. Even through my crab, after a while I found myself asking him some personal questions and making a few comments that could be funny or not, depending on one's sense of humor and sure enough, he cracked up! The fact that he was friendly and engaging toward me made him all the more attractive and after a while I really started to like him. My boyfriend had NO idea how I was feeling. He's great in a lot of ways, but emotional sensitivity goes right over his head a lot of the time.

I think I will do part 2 in another post in case there's a character limit....

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Leolady82
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From: San Francisco, CA USA
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posted November 03, 2013 02:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Flash forward to about a month an a half ago: My boyfriend told me we should help the guy secure an apartment in the City. Dude and I exchange email addresses (we kept it classy with email and not texts) and my bf says "We could look at apartments FOR him and I could say I am his cousin," but I knew how busy he was so I said, "OR I could do it and say I'm his long-distance girlfriend." My bf was like whatever works.

Via email I really started to like this guy even more. He actually secured an apartment in uppity Pacific Heights and said "Your idea to say you're my long distance girlfriend worked like a charm," and had me deliver a $500 pre-move-in deposit to the landlady, of which I was happy to do. But then I asked him a little about himself so I knew who I was "dating" in case the landlady tried to talk to me about him and he said, "Coolness. dob. 11/14/74 I'm into mt. biking and you can tell her i'm a fledgling writer working on the great American novel. Favorite stone is onyx. I told her I am Director of Sales for jewelry company the company is name _______.... anyways - thank you thank you thank you."

I was floored! Oh no, a SCORPIO?? See, I have a history with Scorpio men. I estimate probably about 25% of my lovers over the years and one of my 5 major long term boyfriends were Scorpios. As a Leo-Aquarius, I find it odd but it MUST have something to do with my Venus and Mars being in water signs. I guess! I don't really know WHY a lot of them have liked me, but they do. In this case, I had no idea what he thought of me other than the fact that he was friendly and respectful, which is all I really want in any associate, business or otherwise.

So we email back and forth a few times and it starts to get chatty almost. Beyond professional and I feel pretty guilty but I DEFINITELY was not technically flirting. No emoticons, not flowery language or fawning. Then just a couple cays ago my boyfriend has to go out of town until...today! And Scorpio Dude JUST arrived in SF November 1st. We have each other's ph #s so I do something kind of of bad: I invite him to lunch yesterday.

Well, he agreed, and I primped and went to pick him up and take him to sushi like he requested. Seeing him again was pretty incredible. He was even hotter than I remembered and we were ALONE. I was practically GIDDY and I was worried I would show nervousness or talk too much or something. WELL! Imagine this: HE actually seemed a little nervous and giddy and talked a lot and a little too fast...and blushed or flushed randomly at lunch. He only half the time looked into my eyes when he talked, the other half over my shoulder out the window but I know a few people who talk like that. Ha had a few really interesting stories about how he recently lost over $30,000 by going in on a very big rave, and also from a business associate who just LOST over 20 grand due to irresponsibility and a secret heroin problem. His stories and conversation was terribly interesting to me and when I was dropping him off he said, "I don't mean to bother you with my sob story, or make you think I'm a sad person, because I'm not." I actually had to reassure him! Where was the crazy-intense Scorpio quietness and self-assurance? I don't know, he seemed...like he had a crush on ME, TOO. It was really titillating and thrilling but of course, I'm not happy with it. I did ask to go up and see his apartment and we went on the roof to smoke a joint, but I left soon after because I was parked in a work-zone (no ticket thank god). I tried to play it cool, but when he was talking at lunch and I was listening, I DID kid of give him big Doe Eyes, but I couldn't help it! Either way he didn't flirt either, per se. The worst thing he said was "____'s lucky," about my boyfriend when I described the cooking and cleaning and running around for him that I do in exchange for having free rent and all my bills paid (I am truly grateful and try to make myself worth it). I suppose at age 39, even though he's single and mentioned something about not getting too attached to things and people (because things and people get taken away), he probably is interested in a cool partner in life. Who knows? I DO barely know him, but for whatever reason I feel very comfortable and infatuated with him. Let's hope he doesn't make a move because at this point I feel like I'd be powerless to stop him.

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Randall
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posted November 03, 2013 02:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Welcome!

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Leolady82
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posted November 03, 2013 02:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh yeah a few last words. It appears as if he has a Moon in Sagittarius, which would explain why he seems a little firey and laid-back for a Scorpio; but his Venus and Mars and Mercury are all in Scorpio. Pretty much the same as my ex boyfriend, but my ex ALSO had a Scorpio rising and acted "so Scorpio" that it was textbook-exact, almost. THIS guy seems like he might have a fire or air sign ascendent.

Also, we hugged when I left. A tight hug, but he faced away from me and seemed to hug me like he was trying to restrain himself...

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Leolady82
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posted November 03, 2013 02:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks! Randall

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Haplesschild*
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posted November 04, 2013 02:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Haplesschild*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You need to distance yourself from this man. You're already crossing the line... One does not need to get physical with sb to cheat. If u know u lack the self control, don't get in situations where u would succumb to lust. The emails need to stop. And knowing u were attracted, why did u go up to his place (you were even the one that suggested it...)? It's like you wanted things to happen.


Poor bf he doesn't deserve this you know. Dump him, he deserves someone who wouldn't treat him with such disrespect.

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tgem
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posted November 04, 2013 08:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Distance yourself sweetie. You definitely have acted on feelings that were strong so now it's time to re-evaluate your current relationship. You know the attraction is there- so does he. Do the right thing, respect your current BF and distance yourself. Then take a good/hard look at your current relationship and determine if you love him enough to stay with him or decide to move on. If you decide to stay, you've GOT to let the other man go! No more emails, lunch etc.

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Swift Freeze
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posted November 04, 2013 11:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swift Freeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sounds like a rough situation, it must be tough being slammed with something like this. I feel the same as some others, I think you may need to discover how you really feel about your current partner and decide whether it is what you want from a long term relationship. You may even decide to have a chat with your boyfriend about what you feel may be missing from your relationship.

When it comes down to it, it is ultimately your choice. I hope that things work out for you one way or another.

On a completely selfish note...

What is this... I don't even... Things like this make me feel like I never want to be in a relationship.

PS. I think that this is titled, Worried I might fall for another Scorpio Man rather than I'm concerned about my relationship with my boyfriend is kind of telling.

------------------
Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams.

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Bluejay
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posted November 04, 2013 04:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluejay     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This situation has "Soap Opera" written all over it. If you have an ounce of respect for your boyfriend then you would be honest about your attraction towards this other man. I have been in a similar situation where I felt an instant attraction for someone, which is a biological response that one cannot control. What you can control are your actions, and the fact that you invited him on a lunch date while your man was out of town shows what your motivations are. Please don't delude yourself into thinking that you were just being nice, because you were clearly enamored by this other man from the start. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot, and this business associate was a woman that your boyfriend was attracted to? I doubt you would be okay with them spending time together when you aren't around. Since you depend solely on your boyfriend for financial support, you are really playing with fire. You should be honest with your boyfriend, that is the only honorable way to handle this situation.

Also, I wanted to add that I don't think that you should be so quick to trust this other guy. Even though I don't think that he did anything wrong, while I was reading your story I kept getting the feeling that he is a con artist. He may be running a ponzi scheme with other people's money, and using your business as a front to attract new "investors". I'm am very intuitive, and when I get that strong of a feeling there is no ignoring it, so I thought I would add that. If that apartment that you helped him get is not solely in his name, then that is definitely a red flag. If I were you, I would have done a thorough background check, asked for references, and verified everything he told me. It seems like your boyfriend was quick to go into business together without knowing much about his background. Also, he is taking someone that he's been casually dating on a trip to Hawaii? I wonder if she views the relationship in the same way. Take it or leave it, that's what my gut feeling tells me.

Never underestimate someone with that much Scorpio in their chart, especially that many personal planets. I'm a Scorpio sun, with 3 planets in Scorpio and five 8th house placements. If they come across as really laid back and chill, it's because that's how they want you to see them. I'm not bashing my own kind, I'm just all too aware of the complexity of a Scorpio's psyche. Just be cautious.

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Leolady82
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From: San Francisco, CA USA
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posted November 04, 2013 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You're all 100% right. But before you feel so sorry for my boyfriend, he cheated on me with his ex behind my back and they both lied to my face while I naively trusted their word and helped raise their daughter, and gave the ex money and befriended her.

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Leolady82
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posted November 04, 2013 05:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
And knowing u were attracted, why did u go up to his place (you were even the one that suggested it...)? It's like you wanted things to happen.
[/B]

Good point, but we hardly know each other and nothing was going to happen. You're right, I'm not going to spend any time alone with him anymore if I can help it.

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Leolady82
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From: San Francisco, CA USA
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posted November 04, 2013 05:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Then take a good/hard look at your current relationship and determine if you love him enough to stay with him or decide to move on. If you decide to stay, you've GOT to let the other man go! No more emails, lunch etc.[/B]

I definitely want to stay with my boyfriend, because like I said we've been through so much drama and managed to come out still loving each other. Things are really wild in this City; lots of people are polyamourous and marriage seldom happens. Things that wouldn't fly in other places pop off in San Francisco. But even still, I don't believe in any of that for myself. You too are right, no more emails. Uh, ahem, I did something bad but it's not too late to turn back. I'll explain later...

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Leolady82
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From: San Francisco, CA USA
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posted November 04, 2013 05:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
You may even decide to have a chat with your boyfriend about what you feel may be missing from your relationship.

this make me feel like I never want to be in a relationship.

[/B]


Relationships are tough! It was also tough bieng in love with my boyfriend last summer when he took a "break" and started having sex with a 23 year old for 3 months before he came back to me, then cheated on me with her once while I was at a Yoga retreat. YEP! Relationships are TOUGH but it's important to forgive and move on.

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Leolady82
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From: San Francisco, CA USA
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posted November 04, 2013 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Bluejay:
[B]
Never underestimate someone with that much Scorpio in their chart, especially that many personal planets.

Thank you, you make good points. I'll see about it

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Leolady82
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From: San Francisco, CA USA
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posted November 04, 2013 05:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Last night my bf came home and I was glad to see him. However I invited Scorpio guy over for dinner with us, which I cooked, and they talked while I was pretty much just serving them and cleaning up, and doing laundry and trying not to look at him too much. Everything was fine, and I started to think "Oh the attraction was just in my head." Or at least, in regards to Scorp-dude. I still was turned on by him as guilty as it made me feel. He was very respectful and didn't act differently towards me, he just was engaged in conversation with my boyfriend.

After he left, though, I did a thing I told myself I wouldn't do and I sent him a text apologizing for the dinner having red meat in it (I made stuffed acorn squash with ground lamb and vegetables in tomato sauce). He doesn't eat red meat but he ate it all anyway saying it couldn't hurt once in a while. I used to be a vegan many years ago and was a Pescotarian after that, so I could have sympathy. He sent a nice text back giving me kudos for the good meal. Somehow we got in a small text conversation and all the while I thought "this is bad," but it ended and I tried to forget about it.

He broke his pinky toe before he drove out here and mentioned he was bummed at dinner for not being able to exercise. This morning without being able to restrain myself I told him that he could probably still do Yoga and swim, and there was a public pool in the Richmond district (I think it's indoors as well). So yeah, I was just trying to be friendly! He's new to the City, and alone. He answered and again we got into a friendly text conversation that got a little deep. BUT after spending the day with my bf and him just being cool, cooler than he's ever been in our relationship, I decided that:

I'm going to PRETEND that Scorpio dude only thinks of me as an off-limits friend, which no doubt he DOES, even if he finds me attractive.

I'm def going to just not text him and pretty much leave him alone, even though we're (my bf and I) going to have to be around him fairly regularly, like at least once a week. I just have hopes my feelings will go away.

As much as I'd like a new friend, and as easily as we get along and laugh at each other's jokes, he's ultimately WAY too sexy for me to handle. We just click too well. It's

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Haplesschild*
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posted November 05, 2013 03:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Haplesschild*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dump ur bf. Yes he cheated in the past but two wrongs don't make a right :/ you've already cheated ( cheating is anything you feel you need to hide from a partner) and it's just not fair on him. He screwed up in the past, but it's not justification for u to do the same.

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Swift Freeze
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posted November 05, 2013 03:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swift Freeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Leolady82:
You're all 100% right. But before you feel so sorry for my boyfriend, he cheated on me with his ex behind my back and they both lied to my face while I naively trusted their word and helped raise their daughter, and gave the ex money and befriended her.

I don't know you, or your boyfriend, or this third guy. I will only speak my mind and my feelings on what you have written. I do not feel sorry for your boyfriend, because honestly I don't know how he feels, nor would it change anything. People feel the way they feel, and that cannot be helped. I don't think it is bad, it's perfectly natural to find people attractive. Obviously the only two people that matter are you and your boyfriend, because it is you two who are in the relationship and have the most information.
What any of us write here, is purely our limited viewpoint and feelings from our own experience.

I also don't think that relationships have to be tough. They require work definitely, but I don't think they have to be tough or difficult. If two people want to make something work, they will find a way. Maybe I am too black and white, maybe I am too grey. Everyone is unique.

------------------
Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams.

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Leolady82
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From: San Francisco, CA USA
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posted November 09, 2013 11:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Swifty, that is most appreciated.

Yes absolutely, two wrongs do not make a right. I 100% agree...

Seeming that there seems to be a lot of judgement on here, I can't feel comfortable to carry on with the story. I'll take the time thought to talk about the Scorpio encounters in my life.

I'll start with my insight into the sign. Yeah they're mysterious, suspicious, probing, hide their feelings, controlling, blah blah blah...they're made out to seem like Batman sometimes. But from my experience, people seem to forget they're WATER SIGNS. Water signs are nurturing, and need to be needed. This is also true of the Ultra-scary Scorpios.

I have several (male, for some reason, I don't know many female) Scorpios "brothers;" men whom I adore and are very loyal, very good friends, who show their appreciation for me as a sister. They're very flattering to me because they seem to have watched and listened to me express myself, and then have made the conclusion that I'm worthy of their love and devotion. It's really very sweet. That is the thing that I love most about the sign: their complete and utter loyalty. It's similar to Leos!

Yeah, they can be moody and selfish about their feelings, but the Scorpio friends I personally know seem to show their best sides around me--either that or I bring it out in them. Or I cheer them up, whatever, I'm not sure. Sure, they're further along on the karmatic wheel than I, but I am usually eloquent about expressing how I feel and I think that puts them at ease or impresses them somehow. I also am extremely comfortable socially, and very very sunny and warm. I enjoy making people laugh and try to get them to be proud about their OWN good qualities. Yes, I like to compliment my friends on what it is that makes them awesome and special. And I don't do it in an inauthentic manner. Meanwhile, I'm no fool to the cruelty of life. I will talk about "deep stuff" and give my two cents, and for whatever reason my Scorpio friends ALWAYS LISTEN attentively. That's another thing I adore about Scorpios: they ALWAYS take me seriously and they NEVER JUDGE my feelings. That's saying a lot! I can't even recall one instance where I've been made fun-of by a Scorpio when I was being real with them.

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Leolady82
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posted November 09, 2013 12:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmmm...Ok I guess I will post about sex. It's supposed to be a HUGE thing about Scorpios, right....?

As you may recall I have a Venus in Cancer, and Mars and Jupiter in Scorpio. The rest is fire and air. Perhaps it is the fact that my "love signs" are compatible with Scorpio as to why about 25% of my lovers and 1 of my major 5 boyfriends have been Scorpio, who's to say? Anyway, in retrospect there seems to be a similarity of a pattern with my hookups and I'll lay it out for you.

Yeah, Scorpio men are sexy but when I have dealt with them, they appear big-eyed and almost innocently sweet. Apparently it's an act! I won't lie, I can be trusting and naive. I can think of 4 different Scorpio men whom I had NO idea that they wanted to have sex with me, and I had NO plans WHATSOEVER of hooking up with them, and it went from chillin' and kickin' it platonically to the next thing I knew, they were on me dry humping me in like a frenzied daze and I was underneath like, "Um....OK? FINE if it's THAT important to you!"

More on this later...

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jenny415
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posted November 16, 2013 03:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I felt the same way bluejay!!!! I am a scorpio sun/merc/venus and i feel this guy is super sketch. Be warned and also, im feeling really worried for your boyfriend who may end up losing money/getting in over his head with this guy. Being a double gemini would make him easily distracted over other things to notice such red flags!
Good luck!


quote:
Originally posted by Bluejay:
This situation has "Soap Opera" written all over it. If you have an ounce of respect for your boyfriend then you would be honest about your attraction towards this other man. I have been in a similar situation where I felt an instant attraction for someone, which is a biological response that one cannot control. What you can control are your actions, and the fact that you invited him on a lunch date while your man was out of town shows what your motivations are. Please don't delude yourself into thinking that you were just being nice, because you were clearly enamored by this other man from the start. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot, and this business associate was a woman that your boyfriend was attracted to? I doubt you would be okay with them spending time together when you aren't around. Since you depend solely on your boyfriend for financial support, you are really playing with fire. You should be honest with your boyfriend, that is the only honorable way to handle this situation.

Also, I wanted to add that I don't think that you should be so quick to trust this other guy. Even though I don't think that he did anything wrong, while I was reading your story I kept getting the feeling that he is a con artist. He may be running a ponzi scheme with other people's money, and using your business as a front to attract new "investors". I'm am very intuitive, and when I get that strong of a feeling there is no ignoring it, so I thought I would add that. If that apartment that you helped him get is not solely in his name, then that is definitely a red flag. If I were you, I would have done a thorough background check, asked for references, and verified everything he told me. It seems like your boyfriend was quick to go into business together without knowing much about his background. Also, he is taking someone that he's been casually dating on a trip to Hawaii? I wonder if she views the relationship in the same way. Take it or leave it, that's what my gut feeling tells me.

Never underestimate someone with that much Scorpio in their chart, especially that many personal planets. I'm a Scorpio sun, with 3 planets in Scorpio and five 8th house placements. If they come across as really laid back and chill, it's because that's how they want you to see them. I'm not bashing my own kind, I'm just all too aware of the complexity of a Scorpio's psyche. Just be cautious.


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Odette
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posted November 16, 2013 11:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Leolady -

Your boyfriend - is JUST a boyfriend.

He is not necessarily the love of your life.
He is not your fiancee.
He is not your husband.
He is not the father of your children.

If you feel like your relationship is getting stale - and you want to date someone new.. you are more than free to break up with Gemini tomorrow if you so please.

I have no idea where all these judgmental posts come from, saying to distance yourself from Scorpio and so on.

Scorpio guy sounds like a catch. He is ambitious, good looking and can make money.
He is also interested in you.
If you want to date him and see where it goes - why not?

But of course first you have to make up your mind about your current bf and if you want to continue your relationship or not.
I'm not suggesting you cheat.

Also, don't give Scorpio any hints at all that you would be open to cheating on your bf.. until you two actually break up, if you do.
Scorpio would definitely take this the wrong way and lose respect for you - and he would also become extremely suspicious of you - wondering whether you would likewise cheat on him, if you guys were an item.

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Doux RÍve
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posted November 17, 2013 08:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux RÍve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ Odette, I like how you make it sound so easy!
Like, whatever, ain't no big deal, just dump your boyfriend and get with the Scorp... lmao.

quote:
Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
What is this... I don't even... Things like this make me feel like I never want to be in a relationship.


Right?!

-

Leolady, so how is it going?

I'm curious.

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Odette
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Registered: May 2012

posted November 17, 2013 05:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LOL

That was very Aries of me..

No.. but, honestly.. If I was having an on & off relationship with some dude I'm not even that into anymore.. I don't think I would be overly depressed about breaking things off.
But I don't really value anything that feels on&off.

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AscTaurus
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Posts: 816
From: Pretoria, Gauteng,South Africa
Registered: May 2009

posted November 22, 2013 11:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AscTaurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Leolady82:
Greetings, all!

This is embarrassing to me, and a long story but it's easier to put this anonymously online here than to talk about it to people I know.

I am a 31 year old Leo female, Moon in Aquarius (I know, it's weird), Sagittarius rising, Venus in Cancer and Mars in Scorpio. I live with a 36 year old Double Gemini (Cancer rising, Venus and Mars in Taurus) man whom I've been dating on and off for 3 and a half years. We've had a tumultuous time and have been to Hell and back, so to speak, but after Burning Man this year (we've been to 3 of them together, never without each other) we've moved passed a lot of our issues and have bonded to where our relationship is loving and easy and sincere.

Enter the Situation: an East Coast business associate of his has been collaborating work with him for about a year. I have talked on the phone a few times with this guy, and he decided to personally move to San Francisco where we live because he's sick of his own city and my boyfriend and he are going to start up a company in Northern CA together. Pretty much, we're going to see a lot of this guy. It's imperative that we all get a long, of course, and I've had my man's previous business associates sometimes treat me like I'm expendable/without respect/as if I'm unworthy because I don't work except for HIM as his personal assistant. I like to think of my occupation as Girlfriend and it's a good life! But I definitely work hard to make sure we're both happy. Anyway, I was somewhat concerned that this guy wasn't going to be nice or something worse.

The first time I met him in person in late August we went to pick him up from his hotel and take him to The Crustacean restaurant for dinner and to chat about plans. When we puled up so he could hop in our car, my heart sank and my stomach flipped. This guy was ******* HOT. Just my type and I thought, "Ohhhh noooo." Probably about 5'10.5", 180 lbs, short brown hair, gorgeous bone structure, the most beautiful seafoam-green eyes...and just a terribly attractive MANLY air to him. What's worse? He's going to be THIRTY-NINE on the 14th and he looks 29. No grays, barely any wrinkles. OK so he's gorgeous, whatever...

At dinner I decided to order a whole crab to eat, for two reasons: a. I didn't want to talk too much; this was a BUSINESS meeting between my boyfriend and Dude, and I'm pretty extroverted and bubbly. After living 31 years I've learned to tone it down and shut up so strangers won't get annoyed or whatever. People are judgmental, etc. b. I was SO attracted to him instantly on sight (which rarely happens to me in my life, I'm picky) that I KNEW that if I ordered a whole, messy crab and ate it like a brute, no one would suspect that I was turned on by this guy because NO girl does that! Also he probably wouldn't want to look at me, so I could have free range to look at HIM. I know, I'm awful--with my boyfriend right next to me, too!

Dinner was enjoyable but I got even more frazzled on the inside because Dude turned me on more and more the more he spoke. I learned that he was born in DC, son of a politician but moved to Pittsburgh with $700 to his name and a broken-down vehicle, only to build himself up to be well off enough to drop $100,000 on our business plans, and all by himself. I learned that he has some anxiety that he has to deal with because he works so hard (this shows he's not perfect and willing to show his vulnerability), and that he was FINALLY taking a vacation to HI with some girl he's been casually dating (good choice, and I assume he was treating HER). I also just liked looking at his face when he expressed himself, and his voice, and especially his small, manly-shaped but gorgeous colored eyes AND...he sure had thick lips for a white guy. That's one of my weaknesses. I also liked how he gave ultimate power on decision-making to my boyfriend. My man is definitely very take-charge, bossy and dominant so if this guy was the same, I couldn't see it working. Even through my crab, after a while I found myself asking him some personal questions and making a few comments that could be funny or not, depending on one's sense of humor and sure enough, he cracked up! The fact that he was friendly and engaging toward me made him all the more attractive and after a while I really started to like him. My boyfriend had NO idea how I was feeling. He's great in a lot of ways, but emotional sensitivity goes right over his head a lot of the time.

I think I will do part 2 in another post in case there's a character limit....


Have you taken a look at the transits?

Your Venus in Cnacer suggets to me that you are a naturally emotionaly responsive lover and this guy could just be happening to be pressing the right buttons.

Currently, Uranus and Pluto are cardinal Aries/Capricorn respectively and I wonder if they are forming aspects to your Venus.

Add to that, your Sun/Moon in Leo/Aquarius could also be undergoing a square aspect with limiting Saturn(not to mention the purposeful conjunction with Mars in Scorpio); making everything about your life that much more serious.
Is Saturn making an aspect to either?

Once all this is taken into consideration, we can now start to look at the current infatuation.

To me its sounds like a "Uranian" effect: A guy at 37 who is as "attractive" as you say, but hasn't settled down sounds like a commitment-phobe to me.

So yes, everything looks great right now(well except the fact that he is Scorpio), but with Uranus, the disruption
usually comes at a permanent price.

Perhaps what you should be asking is why you are attracted to someone who , at his age, is starting his life over? Is it the excitement of something new? Is it perhaps a love that you have always wanted?(but I doubt it).

Perhaps the excitement that he brings is what you have been lacking all along. Not necessarily in the love life, but in other spheres of your life as well.

If the transits to Saturn are to be trusted, it is likely that your boyfriend will be undergoing a few changes himself. The Saturn transiting his natal Venus and Mars in Taurus(by opposition)is something to watch for.

Maybe its time to re-evaluate your life with your bf and initiate changes when you feel you need to.

This attraction, imo, has more to do with how you the state of your life than the person concerned.

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Leolady82
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Posts: 46
From: San Francisco, CA USA
Registered: Oct 2013

posted November 30, 2013 11:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, seeming that this story has a middle and an end, and since it's over and no real harm has been done I will probably post what happened. But not tonight. Tomorrow...

I can say a few things: I was wrong, and I was right. I was wrong about him having a Sag moon; he was born at 6am so he's a SEXtuple Scorpio! Sun, Moon, Rising, Mercury, Venus and Mars, oh my!

And I was right about our attraction, although the extent of HIS attraction to ME was so shocking that I couldn't believe it, even when I found myself being mauled and subsequently had to apply an ice pack to my red and swollen mouth.

More on that later...THIS THREAD GOES ON TO PAGE 2--->

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