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Author Topic:   Some Stuff I Was Thinking About Today
cappyme
Knowflake

Posts: 328
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted May 28, 2007 12:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappyme     Edit/Delete Message
Hi, just checked this thread.

So HSC, at the risk of asking a very cliche question, how are you? (don't you dare say "I'm ok" ).

You don't know this but I read some of your posts here and there around lindaland, and they are a pleasure to read because I think you've very different aka unique aka interesting perspectives to a situation which always makes me question myself.

So I just came on here to tell you that. Now back to studying for my boring maths test!

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 7178
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 30, 2007 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Cappyme!,

Thank you.

How am I? I'm very moody, but right now I'm in an okay mood. That should last another hour, at least. By the time you read this I may be feeling hopeless, lost, and scared again. I'm expecting these three ghosts sometime today.

I've been tearing up daily and nightly (with breaks in between) for a while now. I'm beginning to know what real loneliness is. I make eccentric, impulsive attempts to meet and connect with women, but its hard to find someone I like who's open to understanding me.

I'm tired. Tired of explaining myself to everyone. I'm so different. I know full well that 9 out of 10 people who do or say the things i do and say would have different reasons and aims than I have. I am defending myself against assumptions left and right, and its no way to live.

I like complex, introverted people, but they must see me as a very naive, unintuitive person, by the way i just put myself out there without ado. I hate games, and I'm too impatient to mince words. I want to be real with people. I want to say everything. I dont have to get angry with a person, or know them for several months, before I get real with them, but it seems most people do, and they resent my lack of concern for boundaries.

It's just that I love people, and I put myself out there before I know who I'm even talking to, because it doesnt matter. People think I'm self-absorbed and making assumptions about who I'm talking to, but I'm not. I'm not looking for someone like me, I'm attracted to differences (venus/uranus). And I'm not expecting agreement, I'm expecting chemical reactions. I'm impatient, so I push a lot of buttons all at once - the only way to find out which ones belong to the person I'm talking to. I run free because I want to cross boundaries - to see where they are. This is life, lets live it! Let's interact and bounce off of each other, get angry or happy. Why am I so alone in this!??!

It should be so easy! I know its all relative, but I think I'm smart, funny, insightful, deep, attractive, understanding, romantic, nurturing, affectionate, and loving. Heck, I'd date me! And my standards arent even as high as that (i have a hard moon-jupiter aspect and a cappy ascendant - both tend to be happy with mates who are, by common estimations, in a league below them). I'm appreciative of small things. I just want someone who is sweet and smart and pretty. I dont even care if I have to "save" her from something, or build her up all the time. I like being needed. I think I'm an amazing boyfriend, lol. All I hear are women complaining about their bullsh!t relationships, lamenting that their men dont have the qualities I know I have in spades. Why is this so difficult? This should be easy for me. Why are all the sweetest girls so damn shy? Why are all the smartest girls so closed off? Why are the open girls so shallow? Why dont they say "thank you" when you compliment them? Why dont they want this as badly as I do?

"I want to love first, and live incidentally."
- zelda fitzgerald

I feel like I'm dying when I'm not in love.

This isn't living.


HSC
Moon in 1st ruling the 7th house
Venus in Retrograde, in Scorpio,
Conjunct Sun/MC/Uranus

ps.
I hope you did well on your math test.
Or if you didnt take it yet, good luck.


pps. I wouldn't have written so much,
but you said you enjoyed reading my posts, so...

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weeseldad
Knowflake

Posts: 194
From: near the tidewater area of the Chesapeake Bay
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 31, 2007 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for weeseldad     Edit/Delete Message
HSC; you are not alone in wanting to be you and create an honest and loving relationship. I have made a lifetime of crossing boundaries and spinning people up. I normally don't intend to anger anyone, but it does happen at times. I would like to pass a bit of wisdom along that my dad told me many years ago, I am 60. This has always worked for me. No matter what happens during the day,remember that there is only one person that you have to impress, you. If you have impressed yourself with your words and actions each day, everyone else who matters will also be impressed with you. After all, we are our hardest judges. I hope that this helps you a bit.

------------------
May you walk in peace and harmony with the Great Spirit and may the Light of the Father light your way. weeseldad(bob)

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 7178
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 31, 2007 09:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you.

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Neferemi
Knowflake

Posts: 170
From: Amused
Registered: Feb 2007

posted May 31, 2007 10:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Neferemi     Edit/Delete Message
HSC ~ Have you considered living someplace other than Boston?

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 7178
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 31, 2007 10:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
I dont really have the means right now, N.

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Neferemi
Knowflake

Posts: 170
From: Amused
Registered: Feb 2007

posted May 31, 2007 11:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Neferemi     Edit/Delete Message
I was just curious if it was an option or something you had thought about... I remember Boston as being a very conservative place. You might do a relocation chart sometime just to see what areas in the world line up for you astrologically. Even if you can't pack up & move, it's good to think about options for the future. (I am moving next week, and knowing I would be leaving a conservative area for an out-there wacky city has made my time here more bearable.)

If you are stuck and frustrated, a change in environment (and the accompanying people) might help you out.

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adrienne
Knowflake

Posts: 103
From: Northampton, MA, USA
Registered: Apr 2007

posted June 01, 2007 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for adrienne     Edit/Delete Message
Stephen, With all due respect to Neferemi I do hope you stay in Boston . The sweet and smart girls are worth the wait and care. I am the castle. Storm me.

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 7178
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted June 01, 2007 07:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
You don't say.

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weeseldad
Knowflake

Posts: 194
From: near the tidewater area of the Chesapeake Bay
Registered: Aug 2004

posted June 02, 2007 09:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for weeseldad     Edit/Delete Message

HSC, I just have to say saddle-up. That's an inspired invitation if ever I've seen one.

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adrienne
Knowflake

Posts: 103
From: Northampton, MA, USA
Registered: Apr 2007

posted June 03, 2007 04:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for adrienne     Edit/Delete Message
weeseldad,

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weeseldad
Knowflake

Posts: 194
From: near the tidewater area of the Chesapeake Bay
Registered: Aug 2004

posted June 04, 2007 06:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for weeseldad     Edit/Delete Message
Sorry, A. It's just that you have to go with your feelings and I feel that there could be a reason for you and HSC to at least meet and converse face to face. Call it a hunch from the Boss above.

------------------
May you walk in peace and harmony with the Great Spirit and may the Light of the Father light your way. weeseldad(bob)

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weeseldad
Knowflake

Posts: 194
From: near the tidewater area of the Chesapeake Bay
Registered: Aug 2004

posted June 23, 2007 08:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for weeseldad     Edit/Delete Message
I did not mean to kill this thread. My sincere apologies to anyone that I offended.I am gone. May you all find peace and love in your lives.

------------------
May you walk in peace and harmony with the Great Spirit and may the Light of the Father light your way. weeseldad(bob)

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