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Author
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Topic: By 21 it is no longer shyness but just rudeness.
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carl
Knowflake Posts: 1116
From: My soul is all over the world! (aka vagabond)
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 16, 2012 08:09 PM
  
Whole heartidly agree (coming from someone who was very shy as a child). But I heard this quote speaking about someone who never talks. They claim they are shy but you hit a certian age, it is no longer shy, just plain rude. I mean, you reach a certian age, and basic human interaction is an expectation of being given the title of adult.I also think shyness to such an extreme is a complete lack of tact. IP: Logged |
otterpus
Knowflake Posts: 120
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted April 16, 2012 08:36 PM
I think its about it's what the person fears more. Interaction VS Social Pressure.They might beat themselves up for not being able to over come their fear and act "normal". The person might have experienced certain traumas and what not that made them socially awkward. You could tell by the person's body language to see if they are really shy or just being a bi'ch. IP: Logged |
Desiring Shadows
Moderator Posts: 1655
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted April 16, 2012 08:43 PM
I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with you.
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Here's my understanding:
It's their life, their decision. I don't know why you should take it upon yourself to make out that this person is being 'rude.' To begin with, they haven't said a single word. That can be interpreted as ANYTHING. Interpreting it as rude is just one of the dull characteristics that stem from a negative attitude. It's wasteful energy being disgruntled over silence. If they don't want to speak, let them. There are plenty of homosapians on this planet with which you can converse. Plus you don't know what they've been through. They could've suffered through traumas which they'll never get over-- or are presently struggling with. It may've just happened.Or we can go back to the original viewpoint, hating the silence: "Maybe they secretly hate you? They're not saying anything--- they probably want nothing to do with you. They are so rude."
Haha. Just kidding! But do you understand my viewpoint?
You never know whats going on in the other persons head. I agree it can be percieved as rude, especially someone who lives in a society where not talking is such, but I also believe that being an adult doesn't qualify for this. Although not a credible source, my definiton of an adult is similar to that of wikipedia's: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult
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"I disagree with what you say but I will defend to death your right to say it."
-Voltaire IP: Logged |
Desiring Shadows
Moderator Posts: 1655
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted April 16, 2012 08:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by otterpus:
You could tell by the person's body language to see if they are really shy or just being a bi'ch.
This is an awfully brilliant viewpoint. ---------------
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss IP: Logged |
MillyX
Knowflake Posts: 306
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted April 16, 2012 10:00 PM
I'm a shy person & no I'm not rude. I'm not the type of person to hurt anyone. I have social anxiety & I've been through a lot. I don't get why other people have a problem with me being quiet. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 1069
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted April 16, 2012 10:05 PM
I disagree, especially if they explain it as shyness rather than they want nothing to do with you. And some people from foreign cultures (or raised in a family from a foreign culture) can see being outspoken as very rude and are thus reticent and even very quiet out of a sense of shame that haunts them for speaking up. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8748
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 16, 2012 10:05 PM
Never understood the idea that the person who initiates conversation gets what they want & is allowed to throw a fit when the other doesn't respond to their liking. While the person they approach has to fall in line & automatically acquiesce. I don't play that game. Who is anyone to stand there demanding my attention like a spoiled brat. If I want to chit chat, charm, flirt, shoot the **** , I will. But if not, no one could change my mind. I'm an adult, I have things on my mind, I have my life to steer. I will not be deterred by some pesky ant on the street. Please. There is a concept that is being disrespected and that is personal space. Children are taught this, why do some adults forget? I have a right to walk around minding my own business without being accosted by a r-u-d-e person who insists on impinging on my life with their aimless conversation. At this point in my life I can honestly say, 'you are not a priority to me so bugger off.' That's one beauty of getting older, you care less & less of others perceptions & more and more about being true to yourself in every moment. Leaves more time for people & things that I truly give a damn about. Should I stand there, lie & act like I care when I don't? Is that what being an adult is. I'd rather stand up for my desires & get my needs and wants met. I consider myself straightforward & attract same. I don't consider myself shy, but I am selective. Keeps out the riff raff. When I invest in a conversation I am present, receptive and sincere. People I care about & respect deserve nothing less. IP: Logged |
Fondue Knight
Knowflake Posts: 819
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted April 16, 2012 10:46 PM
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teasel
Knowflake Posts: 4828
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 16, 2012 11:41 PM
I disagree as well. I have social anxiety - it still affects me, and it used to be severe. IP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 6997
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted April 17, 2012 03:49 AM
So dis r adults?  IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2012 04:54 AM
omg...I was the most shy little girl....painfully ..... I remember hiding behind my mom's leg when new people came into our lives.i got forced out of it though, mostly through having to work jobs ....with the public... I had to support myself early on and learned from more outgoing people around me. In a way it was a saving grace, but was also kind of traumatic form my true to nature, quiet self. If I wasnt forced into it, I might have stayed painfully shy forever. It wasnt a gentle push though and it wasnt fun. But I had to do it to support myself and it eventually became second nature. Anyway, OP....try not to take it to heart when a chick isnt into you. Don't write her off as "shy" or a "snob" even if she is legally an adult. Perhaps you just arent jiving with her..? Don't write her off as a ***** because she's quiet and not all over you, or into you...  You might just suck. And that's okay too. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2012 04:58 AM
And my question to you is what age is a chick supposed to shed her shyness.......? for you? or anyone else?IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2012 05:05 AM
Go for a super fire/air-y sign or something and quit your b!ching.IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2012 05:08 AM
& no offence Carl.....youre a cute kid, but you look like youre 12.That alone will make a shy girl...go shy-er.... & want to treat you like a baby. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4467
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted April 17, 2012 05:38 AM
I don't see why people are attacking Carl for,he never specified it was a girl he was talking about.but I agree some people are just naturally shy,but I agree with carl there is a point where it becomes rude, for instance : you pass someone and smile and ask how they are doing today and they don't even acknowledge you,to me that is rude.IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2012 05:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I don't see why people are attacking Carl for,he never specified it was a girl he was talking about.
True. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2012 05:46 AM
Also, i don't think anyone was "attacking" him. he just seems like a typical male, turned down too many time in a bar atm. Talking about how shyness should be shed at a certain age...for his own satisfaction....I don't know? Let me clarify, his own expectations.....sorry,.....it doesnt work that way. Man up. We aint here to please you. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2012 05:48 AM
Don't call shy girls snobs, is all i'm saying.& I'm no longer a shy girl.  But I'll stick up for my shy homies. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted April 17, 2012 06:03 AM
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RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted April 17, 2012 06:04 AM
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4467
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted April 17, 2012 06:15 AM
If I want to chit chatrespect deserve nothing less.[/B][/QUOTE] since you seem to be talking about the man approaches woman dynamic I will agree that some guys need to take a hint and leave the lady alone if she isn't interested but I also think women need to be polite about it if the man is just being nice and. is a gentleman,how hard is it to amile. and say thanks but I'm busy or Iseeingsomeone etc. being a Guy and having approached. women and I have to say most women are extremely rude and say things like get away get away from me loser or hurl an insult simply because you approached them politely ,funny thing is when i say well fine ***** they have the gaul to call me rude.now I agree they don't owe me. anything as you women put it and love to. shout,but I do believe I deserve a. polite no, would you want a man to insult you if you approached him and you were only being nice,use the golden rule ladies IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2012 06:30 AM
aquaguy, you don't seem to understand that the "Golden Rule" could get a lot of women in trouble. It get's alot of them raped and/or beat up. It's a fine line, and a sticky situaltion when you have a vagina. Please don't tell us how we should be around men. It does not work both ways. And life in this world as a woman is very different than life in this world as a man.I'm too tired to explain or go into this more right now. You would not understand unless you are a woman. Anyway, great post RP.. As usual  IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2012 06:37 AM
quote:
use the golden rule ladies
This bugs the sh!t out of me. Do you know what it's like to have to walk the streets of this world, alone as a woman? Day or night. You have no idea how much you men have terrorized us. Do not ever say we owe you politeness or respect. Ever. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted April 17, 2012 06:37 AM
[IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7158
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2012 06:47 AM
 Bingo.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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