posted September 09, 2003 04:41 AM              

I have read the entire post and I can say that this one is not a simple situation; I know it is easy to say "move on!" and your brain is probably more than happy to do so, but we always forget the heart ...

Being jerked around is not a pleasant experience, but not for the reason that one wastes time or effort or even love, it is one question that needs to be answered: "What did I do wrong? If I like him, why doesn't he like me?" And as time goes by, we get more frustrated, angry and jealous - making it difficult for other people to approach. The focus point of our life is a single person who is rejecting us and no matter what we do, things will not get better.

There is a great difference between not being attracted or not liking someone and fooling around with this person. A person who bases any relationship upon those things is a bad human being. He totally lacks empathy. He is not able to put himself into your shoes. How does my action make someone else react? And suffering and misery is not easy to conceal! - he MUST have noticed the reaction he provoked and seems to be OK with it. You are not secretly in love with him; this is not a hidden crush - he knows how you feel. And what kind of relationship would be the result? He would be the one who plays with your deepest feelings, you the one who always gets hurt.

There is one more thing: most women usually tend to hide their emotions VERY good, thinking that most things are 'understood' or 'he knows how I feel'. Maybe you have not spoken up about the way you feel to him and he thinks you are not interested ... not enough, anyway. And playing "the actress you were born to be" will not improve the situation either. A relationship based upon distrust, lies and dishonesty never brought anything good. Nor will indifference, as you already showed that you are not indifferent. And you would behaving the same way he does, only playing with your own emotions.

There is always the 'middle path' - you should call him. My guess is that the result will not be a happy episode in your life, but it will clear things up and make you ready for a new chapter in your life. This way you are sitting at home, thinking "What could have ...? What should I have ...? What if ...?" No point in making yourself confused and unhappy. Give him a call and go out with him. There is always a courteous way to say how you feel, without making it a dramatic scene. Be honest, you have nothing to lose. Tell him that you really like him and that you would like a fresh start, if he is still interested. If he does not react the way YOU like, get up and leave. If he starts with that lame line "I will call soon" set an ultimatum. Tell him to call you on a particular day, as you have other obligations.
And I am sorry, but you will have to be rude - "and if you do not call, I will see it as a sign that you are not interested". In a few days, you will know for sure what your positions are. If he is interested - great! That is what you have wanted, right? If he definitely tells you he is not or does not call you - too bad for him! He has lost the love of a warm, kind and open person, who would have endured all his mischiefs through his entire life. Now, someone else will have that privilege.

posted September 09, 2003 08:42 AM              

Well said zoka.

posted September 09, 2003 12:28 PM              

Thanks a million ZOKA.

The things you said mean alot. I really want to talk to him, open myself and be vulnerable once again, but when I'm around him I become a school-girl that can barely talk. He is so intimidating.
The sad fact that is that I am scared of him telling me that he wants nothing of a relationship other then friendship.

I know he cares for me. A man who returns my calls to talk and see me without money nor sex involved isn't wasting his time.

I want him to call me. Its now has been a week and a half since I last called him. He was extremelly cold to me on the phone. I asked him out to lunch or diner and he said no , cause of work. Why couldn't he tell me it was another girl?

In person he reminds me of my beauty and of my wonderful heart.
I only want the best for him. He is so secretive. So untrusting that I dont want to push him to the limit where all doors are closed including friendship.
I trust him to be honest so I will follow what you said and open up ...........
I have nothing to lose and everything(closure) to gain.
Thanks

"if I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?"

posted September 09, 2003 01:45 PM              

because doing so would entail giving up some power.
The person has to come to them; they've got to be the ones with the leverage.

posted September 09, 2003 04:10 PM              

But I don't think that a Gemini woman will understand the bare necessity and full intimacy of a Cancer talk about his childhood. Nor will an Aquarius male understand the 3 hour cooking of a Taurus lady, the 3 hour cleaning of a Virgo lady or the prolonged executive meeting of his Capricorn female friend. But they will all appreciate it. The thoughts, the time, the effort.

And there is no point in making someone live in an illusion "that there may be something some day in the near future". If you see you make someone that unhappy because there can NEVER be anything between you, be frank. This may hurt the other person's feelings, but it will make him/her ready for a new start. And will certainly make you a better person.
But power corrupts! Imagine you can have the power to control a person; to make him/her happy whenever you want or totally miserable with the snap of your finger. Sounds good, right? It may sound good, but it is not and I know many of us would just imagine themselves in the other person's situation and drop it.

And this is the exact reason why we call some people rude, cruel, selfish etc. And immature. It takes a lot of heart to let another person go. I never figured out how those people get up every morning, look in the mirror and stop themselves from spitting on it!

posted September 09, 2003 04:27 PM              

<applause for zoka and scatbug>

(although I reserve the right to trot out stereotypes in self-defense against dinosaurs )(and extend to the same right to any men who think I'm the dinosaur!)

posted September 09, 2003 04:55 PM              

This was not what I had in mind! My main point was that there are people who do not enjoy every activity of their partner or their friends, but will participate for the love and the sense of companionship and togetherness. This was just a stereotypic view of all signs and genders; I have seen too many male Aquarius who cook better than most people, Cancer women who dislike children and Sagittarius kids who like to be all alone.

And of course a male Aquarius will appreciate the cooking and cleaning etc. from anybody - you appreciate almost everything and I think that you are the easiest sign to pamper!

Good people appreciate every little effort from other people, no matter what the sign, the gender or heritage may be.

posted September 09, 2003 05:36 PM              

I understand everything you said , but getting to that "Middle Path" is a bite tricky.
I have an angel in one ear an angel telling to call and talk to him face to face and get all my thoughts out and deal with the results and in the other ear I have a bad girl that says, Just F***K him girl and make him make the move if he cares.

If he wants you he will be after you.
But Scorpio men are unlike the regular human MEn.

They are weird,sensitive, and in control of their emotions.
I have to Cooperate with him at a safe and respectful emotional distance.
In Linda G Love sign book, she said that Aries/Scorp relationship emotionally we are well matched and mated. Mentally we are about as far apart as two people can get and still remain members of the same human race." pg 116

That is what I'm dealing going through. Emotionally YES , but Mentally NO.

posted September 18, 2003 09:40 PM              

Where are you? What's going on with your scorpio guy?
Hope that things are well for you.
Have Faith. Keep hope alive and let me know how things go.

A new day is upon you...............

Atleast that's what I keep reminding myself.

posted May 18, 2004 11:50 PM              

I work nights and I haven't heard from my scorpio guy in such a long time. While at work he showed up at my home without calling. He came to see me. The gate guard told me that the scorp wanted me to call him as soon as I get home. Guess what? I havent called nor went to see him. He played me and broke my heart. Now he thinks that he could just come back in to my life like that. I wanted this to happen so bad. His thinking of me!

Now that it has happened I dont know how to respond. He came by another time while I was at work.
Mentally I cant take any more pain. I still love him.

posted May 20, 2004 07:06 PM              

Good stories to tell about Scorp guys...

posted May 21, 2004 04:46 AM              

I hope things are looking better for you too Honey

I gave up on my Scorpio guy - i still have very deep feelings for him - i dream about him all the time - but my heart just wasn't up for the games (Or whatever the hell he was doing...)