posted November 27, 2006 01:26 PM            

He has been married for 7 years with two boys. Before that he had two long term relationships.

My sis-in-law has an Earth singleton and had long term relationships.

I have Venus in Sag with plenty of Earth / water in my chart. I had a few long term relationships but was never much into looking for one or having to date. There was always too much to enjoy in life and things (education) to pursue. My brother did as well (education and travel) but he never liked being without someone whereas I loved being single and would only give that up for someone special.

I did- and he is a Leo that loves many of the same things that I love. Travel, communication, movies, music... That is what is important- QUALITY not QUANTITY. Lonliness is better than ending up with a complete turd- trust me on that one LOL...

posted November 27, 2006 05:41 PM              

so u also an indian? or r u talking abt match.com etc?
Well, all the guys i find cute apparently don't think the same way abt me regardless of whr they live i hv registered on 3 such websites till now. my patience is kinda running out. if it wasn't for friends who keep pushing me to 'try', i wud hv given up like i did twice before.

guess wht, i was studying my chart yday, for periods good for entering into relationships . (one of those times whn i'm like 'isn't thr a single guy who i can like and who wud like me back!') i was using the method outlined on cafeastrology for tht. apparently, all my sensitive points are in cardinal signs. (my chart is also strongly cardinal) so whn jup moves into capricorn, i might have some luck. BUT, saturn moves into libra whn i turn 29 (tht's my saturn return for you). And today i discovered that Pluto, Uranus and Jup ALL move into cardinal signs around the same time. Gives me the feeling tht its gonna be real bad, or atleast very significant, as far as relationships (and everything else!) is concerned. scared the **** out of me!!

posted November 27, 2006 06:18 PM              

I feel for you !! We r in the same boat...
as far as i know, match.com is for dating. mostly americans use tht, i'm not sure abt indians/pakistanis.

The way my chart is set up, I am pretty sure I am going to have a late marriage. In fact, to tell u the truth, i always knew in my heart tht it wud be so. my mother also married late, my parents had an unhappy marriage. which has left me with a phobia of marriage, esp the arranged kind.

A psychic told me once that i can marry now if i want, but then i'll meet my 'soulmate' whn i am around 29-30. i didnt believe her. but whn i looked at my chart, it seems quite possible. even if i do marry now, all those saturn, uranus, pluto transits r sure to break it up unless it is very strong in the 1st place

But i hope you have better luck than me. sometimes the right guy can be right under your nose, and u don't know.

posted November 27, 2006 06:19 PM            

That's Saturn Return

Transits don't break up a marriage. There can be breakup that is in synchronicity with the transits. The transits don't necessarily mean a breakup. It can indicate that you have relationship challenges which can make or break your relationship. It indicates needing to put more effort into you relationship. The challenges could indicate your relationship being tested too....especially when it involves Saturn.

posted November 27, 2006 06:26 PM              

but my saturn return unfortunately also signals transits to my venus, DC, sun/moon midpoint, ruler of 7th (Saturn), ruler of 5th(pluto). these r all in cardinal signs. So it indicates tht i might actually meet someone significant during my Saturn return. And i just discovered that pluto wud be in cap around the same time, with uranus in aries. i'm gonna have a GRAND saturn return

posted November 27, 2006 07:10 PM            

Are you sure you aren't putting out a vibe? I've had women friends that didn't even realize they were putting out the "I'm angry / desparate" vibe and guys would stay away like they were mosquitos and she was a fogger.

Same with men - when I was single, if I noticed a good looking guy that had a total sulk on his face or had a "go away" attitude, bleh.. I wouldn't even make an effort to say hello.

See, when people get down on themselves and think they are unappealing, others will pick up on that and treat them as such. When someone is enjoying life, that is when they are putting out the happy vibes.

I love astrology, but I DO NOT think it is indicative of WHEN you will find someone. I met my ex husband when my 7th house was full, married him during my Saturn return and divorced him before it was over.

Sitting back with open arms saying "Thank you ASTRO Transit.... I am waiting for the person of my dreams to plop into my arms" will only make your arms fatigued.

When I met my husband the transiting Sun was in both of our 5th houses - we are both Pluto risings. Saturn was in our 11th house (coincidently, we met at an organized event).

I guess what I am trying to say is to be open, be YOU- like AG said, he found that when we embraced himself he met others- others that had his same independence and quirks.

posted November 27, 2006 09:21 PM              

I thought match.com was a dating site...thats why i never joined it. I thought there might have been a desi feature I wasnt aware of when you mentioned it. Ive only frequented the desi and religion ones.

To be honest with you I dont know how I could go for an arranged marriage either...plus my parents arent really social and involved in the desi community and havent really brought a guy to my attention (maybe a few but it didnt go far...ie dont know how they even looked) and never brought a prospect to the house...so the task of finding a guy is left almost entirely up to me...which is a relief in a way, but a little disappointing because it limits my chances.

posted November 27, 2006 09:31 PM            

Just let it happen, it happens when you don't look for it. Thats when it has happened for me.

posted November 28, 2006 12:44 AM            

I used to think no one noticed me. There was so many other students at uni and they all had partners and I used to think, "why not me?" Well guess what Rebekka, there were a few guys that I bumped into the workplace after I graduated and told me that they saw me around (said with an interest in me, why they didn't approach me, God knows why?) including one guy who I was took notice of from a distance, which shows you can be noticed but that you don't see it yourself. By the stage I was approached, I was in a relationship, so in the end, I ended up having the power and I got to choose who I wanted and was brushing the rest off.

You are too similar to me. I know your story. You are young and trust me, you are noticed but us aquas are a bit vague sometimes and don't notice others. You just don't know who is watching. Also, in order to get attention from someone you want, you need to show that you have interest in them and are "available" to them. Being Aqua Ice Queen and admiring from a distance isn't going to help but connecting from a distance might.

----

I'd also like to add this as some hope to you. In my tradition of Duran Duran fixation, this is what Simon Le Bon from Duran Duran said about himself and about the hottest man on earth, John Taylor:

From http://www.lizardkingduran.com/qsimon98.htm

"“True, true, but then it was almost out of our control,” he says. “What were we to do? I’d spent my entire teenage years suffering one unrequited love affair after the other. I was so shy I couldn’t even talk to girls. If I fancied them, I’d follow them home, but I didn’t have the guts to approach them. I was a teenage stalker. The same went for John. The first time I saw him he was this speccy geek with nicotine-stained fingers, trembling with fear at the prospect of having to meet people. And his name wasn’t even John. It was Nigel. He was a Nigel with glasses, poor sod. I remember staring at his face and slowly realising that he was rather beautiful, exquisite in fact. I mean, this was the best looking guy I’d seen in years, maybe my whole life. Losing his glasses and changing his name to John was the best thing he ever did. He was a man transformed. To see him in action was incredible. He could charm the knickers off anyone.”

Quite.

“You know what it was?” he asks. “It was just front. All front. Easy, really. Look what you do.” He stands up, and affects the pose of a “love god”. “You grab your balls, close your eyes, and swagger up to the woman of your choice and just go, Hi baby. That’s it. It either works or it doesn’t. We were worthy of all these women simply because we had the balls to approach them. There will always be better looking men with bigger dicks and better technique and more money, but they probably never had our front. We did.”

posted November 28, 2006 10:05 AM            

What I have come to know in my 44 years is I am my own best company and I am happy with myself. I am comfortable with me. I too, have very few, if any close friends, my two teenage daughters mainly and I get all the social interaction I need at work.

When interacting with people it is all about the energy. I do not think you are putting out funky vibes, perse' but I do think you might consider relaxing a bit on the relationship thing and concentrate on loving yourself.

I do not think anybody has mentioned elements yet. It seems to me that alot of people who are into astrology get so wrapped up into transits, aspects, this body, that "rock" and forget the basics of astrology. I have been quite enamoured with the elements from the beginning. If I remember correctly, you have quite a bit of air and water in your chart, as do I. Airy/watery people are at the least intense and quite out there--this I know from personal expereince. I do love the air/water natives, I am one, but I also know how hard it can be to be one, and to relate to people who are not. People have told me I can be impossbile to understand, especially earth signs and when dealing with the earth people, I really have to stop and make myself talk slow and in plain english--just as an example. Of course you can not go through life with this approach in meeting strangers, but just remember your inherant makeup makes your energy a bit out there.

I have kissed quite a few toads in my life and have come to know that if I am ever in a "relationship" again, it will be my own brand of one---I probably need someone just like me, but in a man's body. I have had to embrace being single cause I am all I have. Sure I would love a deep connection with a man, someone to snuggle up with by the fireside, watch a movie with, etc. I get "hit" on all of the time, but I can smell a toad from a mile away and that is what has driven me deep inside myself over and over again.

You are so young, give it time. It has been said for many eons that you can not truely love another and another can not truely love you until you love yourslef first...

BTW I lost alot of myspace friends a while back--do you still have one? What is your url?

Blessings

posted November 28, 2006 03:35 PM            

without sounding harsh, I think you may need to speak with a professional about your feeling "alone" it also seems that you feel "abandoned" by your friends.

Friends come and go -it is a part of life. They are busy and have other interests. You have said repeatedly that you hate bars and clubs. You have YET to say what YOU LIKE. Several people have given you GREAT advice about getting out there and doing what you love and guess what... the ONE will show up at some point.

Have you thought about becoming a part of an organization that does things for your community? Since you don't like the party scene, going would make NO sense because you would end up with a party animal and you would have nothing in common.

Only you can change that feeling of being "alone". It seems that you are not happy with yourself and I think AG was right on about how things will change when you change that perception.

I also would like to ask- you said you are not "single" you are "alone". Does that mean you DO have a bf but you still feel alone? I was just confused on that point.

posted November 29, 2006 05:45 PM              

23,
if you know what it's like to be alone for 2.5 years, imagine how it is to be alone for your entire life. I talk to people in the only class I have left [I had to drop a total of 5 classes this semester because I was going to end up failing all of them].
There was a guy I was interested in, I mentioned him on this forum actually. He seemed so perfect, and I did tell him I liked him a lot. But he already has a girlfriend. I don't really talk to him anymore because it hurts too much. The less I have to think about it, the better.

Terri,
yeah I have a stellium of Aquarius [Sun, Moon and Mercury] in the 12th House [which puts a damp spin on it] with Pisces Rising sextile Neptune square Venus in the 1st House. But I also have double Aries in Venus and Jupiter and Mars in Sagittarius--none of which ever seemed very much like me to be honest.
I have come to terms with myself. Which confuses me even more because I don't have a problem with myself. I figure, if someone doesn't like me, they can f-off.
As far as guys hitting on me, however, I don't think I recall an instance of a guy ever hitting on me. Like I've said, guys don't approach me or talk to me, period. And about the MySpace thing, I got rid of mine because having one was pointless because I didn't have any friends on my list. And the point of MySpace is to stay in touch with friends, right?

pidua,
I had been seeing a counsellor for well over a year, but stopped when I started college until I could figure out a way to work it into my school schedule. Well, college got crazy and I ended up dropping all but one class. No, I'm not seeing her anymore, and I really have absolutely no desire to either. I don't want somebody to just listen to me and pretend to understand just because I'm paying them to.
I've really wanted to do community service, but there doesn't seem to be any organization that I can find and join to do that with. I've looked at all the clubs at the University and none of them hold my interest at all.
I don't know why everyone thinks I don't like myself. Yeah, I know I'm not just like every other girl. Yeah, I know there are a lot of things that are different about me. And yeah, I know that there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I don't know why everyone thinks I don't like myself.
And no, I don't have a boyfriend. Never have, in fact. What I meant was, being single really isn't the biggest of my problems. Yeah, I wouldn't be alone if I wasn't single. But, my friends are way too busy for me, so that makes me more alone than just single. If that made any sense.

I'm ready to just call it quits and say bye now, cause, going over this and still nobody really understanding what it is I'm saying is just making it worse. And for the record, I've made more of an effort to reach out to people than is measureable. So I don't want to be told to try harder, because I've tried my d*mnedest and came out with nothing.

posted November 29, 2006 06:08 PM            

I know that being "single" means being alone in the literal sense- I also know that one can also feel alone even when living in commune, with 25 boyfriends.

You have alienated yourself from your peers and you are about to do it again on this website. What will you benefit?

You need a different counselor because what you are doing is classic alienation..

It goes like this;

I build a moat around my land to keep the others out. I build a wall around my castle so no one can come in. Behind my wall I have a door that is locked securely to keep them out. I have a room within a room that I keep locked at all times. Within the room there is a ocked door that leads down into the depths of my basement, that is where I reside - so no one can come in.

It is a classic story of alienation. Building up so many walls and booby-traps that no one will even reach you.

It is a defense mechanism because it allows you to never get close to them. It also allows you to rationalize how they have failed you by being to busy, not understanding you or disappointing you.

Have you noticed there is nothing that you like? You live in a college town, surrounded by people but you have not one real interest?

No one can help you or understand you until you are straight with yourself.