posted November 29, 2006 06:34 PM              

*edit*
---------------------------------------------------------------
I am sorry for this post. i said some things i should not have said. it sounded too harsh when i read it later.
---------------------------------------------------------------

no one can ever understand you completely. the sooner you understand that fact, the better you will feel. in fact, i wud dare to say tht many of us here DO understand wht you r going thru.

May be you need a better counselor, but as long as u feel tht she is listening to u only bcoz she is paid to do so, its never going to help. See, its like u feel that NOBODY cares for you, nobody has time for u, nobody loves u. We r all humans here. we hv our limitations. but we also have emotions. we feel for you. and when after numerous attempts to help u, whn u only reply with 'nobody gets me' , 'i am giving up', it hurts.

And if it can hurt us, mere strangers to you, imagine how much it wud hurt the people u r close to.

See, not one of us has been able to touch you. not once have you thanked any of us here for taking the time out and writing such long posts, only with the good intention of helping u, so wht if we fell short of it. sometimes, u hv to look outside yourself. Not that we expected u to thank us, tht is not my point. my point is u r only looking at yourself. and i know that is because you r depressed. BUT, its a vicious circle. and some day u will have to decide what is it u really want. if u really want a friend, u will hv to overlook that they have other things tht might take up their time, or tht they dont understand u comepletely.

Anyways, love to u, hope u come out of this soon

posted November 30, 2006 02:18 AM              

Now I really don't want to offend or hurt you anymore than I did on my last post - which was the last thing I ever wanted to do, but I can’t help but feel that the advice given to you by those who are concerned is not fully appreciated and is instead completely disregarded. I understand you are frustrated, but may I suggest not blowing off your cap towards people who at least take the time listening and making an effort to empathize with your sob-story?

I find myself rather reluctant on further commenting on your proposed topic because obviously I don’t have the capacity to understand what you’re going through – and if I go any further, I’m just going to make it worse.

But on a record – I am just about your age and I never had a boyfriend myself nor have I ever been asked out. At times, I fear that I will never be involved in a loving relationship because I feel that no one would love me for who I am. And even though I want to be in a relationship, I hold myself back from the possibilities of ever entering one because I fear that I am never good enough.

Growing up I didn’t have a lot of friends, but the few friendships I did manage to strike with were always ambivalent. I had a hard time considering who my “true friends” were. I don’t even think I ever had the luxury (maybe not luxury, but it is for me) to become “comfortably close” to a person other than family. For me, it’s not a matter that friends don’t have time for me; it’s a matter of me not having any true friends. It’s really depressing. I don’t know how I could ever survive this life without my twin.

Maybe Pidaua’s right and you are depressed (it’s hard to believe if you are not). Just know that depression is a “momentary illusion”. When people are depressed, they only look at one part of life, failing to see everything things as a whole. Some people kill themselves over these “momentary illusions” - and no I’m not calling you suicidal – but their state of minds are so distorted and befuddled by it, they don’t realize that these things eventually “come to pass” until it's too late. Again, please don’t resolve to negativity – the more you convince yourself about this the more likely it would come true.

posted November 30, 2006 05:44 AM              

cappy here....are you a leo or a capricorn?

i remember tht till the time i was in school, i had only one 'true' friend. i had friends,sure, but i always used to doubt whether they were actually my real friends.

looking back, i feel that for some of us, its natural to start making those 'real' friends whn we r out of teenage. you know, i made some really good friends with people from my class in high school, NOW, after 8 years of graduating. which shows that there wasn't a lack of people who were like me, but that may be our personalities were not defined enuf for us to realize that we could be good friends. i guess i reeally started connecting with people only when i was in college, ie, about 18-19. And believe me, its getting better and better with time. i was told that all good friendships r formed during undergrad, ppl become selfish and self absorbed with age....believe me, its sooo not true. I haven't found my twin yet, (and it still is depressing to think i might not meet 'him'), but i am sure he is out there somewhere. it is proven by my meeting people who are getting closer and closer to my idea of my soulmate. and this whn i am often told i have very high expectations from people, am too much of a perfectionist, wht i am looking for doesn't exist, atleast not in one person, blah blah. and the irony is as soon as i lower my expectations, someone comes along to prove me wrong.

I don't know how much of it holds true for you, tht's just my take on it. i am sorry for my last post. after i read your story, i felt really bad and realized how wrong i was. at least, it sounded very different from what i had meant. one can be surrounded by people and yet be lonely. have a lot of 'friends', yet not have one in a real sense.

But i'd like to add, don't hold yourself back. sometimes, one can be wise beyond their years, and other people sense that. or too 'different'. others get the feeling that you are more defined/integrated than them. and it can be a little intimidating and hence the ambivalence which you experience from people. may be u shud trying hanging out with older people.

i was very shy all through my teenage, and very low on confidence. felt that no one could possibly even understand who i am, let alone love me for that. i was needy, and emotional. you are much better than i ever was at your age, believe me.

posted November 30, 2006 08:48 AM              

quote:

---

am i glad i joined this forum...to knw tht thr r people out there who feel like me...its a great comfort.

---

posted December 01, 2006 05:09 PM              

quote:

---

I'm in school yes, attending a private University, smaller than a lot of other schools too. But the area the school is in, it's in Cincinnati, isn't really very safe. You can't go down the road to the local Kroger because people get shot there if that gives you an idea. I lived on campus for maybe 2 months, but my roommate was a b*tch, so I moved back home 45 minutes away.

---

well that sux! my first year room-mate was a biatch tooo...i just stopped living in my room...only went there to get a change of clothes and spent time at and slept at the rooms of other friends I made later on. Had I moved back home like in your case, only after 2 months I wouldnt have made the great friends that I did...It definitely takes time for me to make close friends, and it looks like thats the same for you. I guess the more time you spend at school and make an effort to hang out with people, like say for lunch or just coffee the better you chances of making a connection.

quote:

---

I'm going to get a part-time job over the Christmas holiday, as soon as my inner ear irritation goes away [it's been messing with my sense of equilibrium and I can't do a lot of moving without getting dizzy]

---

posted December 01, 2006 08:02 PM            

here is stuff on vestibular disorder aka cerebellar vestibular dysfunction or inner ear problems. It is a highly misunderstood problem. People with this problem can be mistakened for having psychiatric disorders of even being hypochondriacs too.
http://www.vestibular.org/vestibular-disorders/symptoms.php http://www.levinsonmedical.com/information/phobias.html

There are the diagnostic tests to check for vestibular disorder
Diagnostic Tests for Vestibular Disorders
Doctors use the medical history and findings from a physical examination as a basis for ordering diagnostic tests to assess the function of the vestibular system and to rule out alternative causes of symptoms. These diagnostic tests are designed to evaluate the function and structure of the inner ear and/or brain, and they include hearing evaluations because the hearing and balance functions of the inner ear are closely related.

http://www.vestibular.org/vestibular-disorders/diagnostic-tests.php

Here is the test results from my examination by Dr. Levinson. As you see, Dr. Levinson did the same type of testing as the testing for vestibular disorder. He just connects learning disabilities,AD/HD to vestibular disorder.
http://people.tribe.net/2e0a4c30-b134-49f8-ba74-0990f36b0a5f/photos?page=5

n other words, the inner-ear acts as a "fine-tuner" for all motor (balance/coordination/rhythm) signals leaving the brain and all sensory and related cognitive signals entering it. As a result, normal thinking brains will have difficulty processing the scrambled or distorted signals received. And the final symptoms will depend on: (1) the degree of signal-scrambling, (2) the location and function of the varied normal brain centers receiving and having to process these scrambled signals, as well as (3) the brain's compensatory ability for de-scrambling.

posted December 01, 2006 08:09 PM            

The vestibular system that tells us where our heads and bodies are in
relation to the surface of the earth. This system takes in sensory
messages about balance and movement from the neck, eyes, and body;
sends those messages to the central nervous system for processing; and
then helps generate muscle tone that allows us to move smoothly and
efficiently.

The vestibular system tells us whether we are moving or standing
still, and whether objects are moving or motionless in relation to our
body. It also informs us what direction we are going in, and how fast
we are going.

The receptor for vestibular sensations are in the inner ear - a
"vestibule" through which something like a carpenter's level. They
register every movement we make and every change in head position -
even the most subtle.

What stimulates these receptors? Movement and .....GRAVITY!

According to Dr. Ayres, gravity is "the most constant and universal
force in our lives." It rules every move we make.

Throughtout evolution, we have been refining our responses to
gravitational pull. Our ancient ancestors, the first fish, developed
gravity receptors, on either side of their heads, for three purposes:

1. to keep upright

2. to provide a sense of their own motions so they could move
efficiently, and

3. to detect potentially threatening movements of other creatures
through the vibrations of ripples in the water.

Millions of years later, we still have gravity receptors to serve the
same purposes - except now vibrations come through air rather than
water.

In addition to the inner ear, we humans also have outer ears as well
as cerebal cortex, which processes precise vestibular and auditory
sensations. These sensations are the vibrations of movement and of
sound.

Nature designed our vestibular receptors to be extremely sensitive.
Indeed, our need to know where we are in relation to the earth is more
compelling than our need for food, for tactile comfort, or even for a
mother-child bond.

In her book, SENSORY INTEGRATION AND THE CHILD, Dr. Ayres explains:

The vestibular system is the unifying system. It forms the basic
relationship of a person to gravity and the physical world. All other
types of sensation are processed in reference to this basic vestibular
information. The activity in the vestibular system provides a
"framework" for the other aspects of our experience. Vestibular input
seems to "prime" the entire nervous system to function seems to
"prime" the entire nervous system to function effectively. When the
vestibular system does not function in a consistent and accurate way,
the interpretation of other sensations will be inconsistent and
inaccurate, and the nervous system will have trouble "getting
started."

Whew! What a heavy load! Isn't it astonishing how something you may
never have heard of before has such a profound and pervasive
influence? As the background for all the other senses, the vestibular
system gives us a sense of where we stand in the world.

THE OUT-OF-SYNC VESTIBULAR SENSE

Vestibular dysfunction is the inefficient processing in the brain of
sensations perceived through the inner ear. The child with vestibular
dysfunction inefficient at integrating information about movement,
gravity, balance, and space. She may be oversensitive to movement, or
undersensitive, or over-and undersensitive.

The child may not develop the postural responses necessary to keep
upright. She may never have learned to crawl and creep. She may be
late learning to walk. She may sprawl on the floor, slump when she
sits, and lean her head on her hands when she is at the table.

As she grows, she may be awkward, uncoordinated, and clumsy at
playground games. She may fall often and easily, tripping on air when
she moves, bumping into furniture, and losing balance when someone
moves her slightly off the center of gravity.

As eye movements are influenced by the vestibular system, she may have
visual problems. She may have inadequate gaze stability and be unable
to focus on moving objects or on objects that stay while she moves. At
school, she may become confused when looking up at the chalkboard and
back down to her desk. Reading problems may arise if she hasn't
developed brain functions imperative for coordinating left-to-right
eye movements.

Vestibular dysfunction may also contribute to difficulty processing
language - a great disadvantage in every day life. The child who
misperceives language may have problems learning to communicate, read,
and write.

Many types of movement provide a calming effect. The out-of-sync
child, however, can't always calm herself because her brain can't
modulate vestibular messages. Neural activity that organizes movement
is either stuck "on," or turned off. Difficulty moving in an organized
way interferes with her behavior, attention, and emotions.

The vestibular sense gives us information that is necessary for many
kinds of everyday skills:

Gravitational security

Movement and balance

Muscle tone

Bilateral coordination

Auditory-language processing

Visual-spatial processing

Motor planning

posted December 01, 2006 08:31 PM            

Niacin(Vitamin B3) - deficiencies - depression, mental dullness,
confusion, forgetfulness, disorientation,
hallucinations,insomnia,nausea,vomiting

Vitamin B2(Riboflavin) - deficiencies - hypoglycemia, eyes have
abnormal reaciton to light, blood shot eyes,mucous in eyes, bulbar
conjunctivitis, hypoglycemia, trembling, dizziness,sluggishness

Vitamin B6 - deficiencies - pancreas problems, diabetes,
hypoglycemia, skin disorders, extremities going to sleep, cramps in
fingers,hands/feet swelling, neural pathway disturbances

Vitamin B12 - deficiences - sore or weak extremities, poor reflex
action, exhaustion, diminished mental energy, loss of
concentration,lethargy, difficulties with walking,stammering,
tingling sensation in fingers,stiffness in body

Thiamin - deficiencies - tirednesss, loss of appetite, emotional
instability, unexplained irritability, loss of mental alertness,
labored breathing, cardiac damage, erratic heartbeat, slow heart
rate, enlarged heart, indigestion, anorexia, severe and continuous
constipation, gastic antony, neural problems like neuritis

Choline - deficiencies - liver problems, kidney problems, high blood
pressure,and glaucoma, hypertension,nervous disorders

Lecithin - protect proper cardiovascular health, improve brain
function, increase energy levels, support of a healthy liver and aid
in digestion of fats

DHA - good for brain and eye functioning, deficiencies - deficits in
learning, hyperactivity, problems with brain and eye development,
problems with mental and visual functioning

DMAE - increases neurotransmitter acetycholine, improving mental
alertness and clarity of thinking, improve memory and learning
ability, increase energy levels, stabilize moods

Ginkgo Biloba - helps mental performance, improves inflammatory
condition, treats blood vessels, treatment for hearing loss and
tinitus, good for vision and hearing - helps with problems with
memory, alertness,attention,and disorientation

Mentalin - helps to support mental function, alertness,and memory,
promotes a positive mood and a sense of calm

Ginger Root - Ginger has been used by many as a remedy for the
common cold. Additionally, it has also been used as an effective
analgesic, anti-pyretic, anti-viral, in the treatment of
hypertension, and in the prevention of atherosclerosis. Other
benefits of ginger include its ability to cleanse the colon, reduce
spasms and cramps, stimulate circulation, and aid metabolism. Many
have used it to treat colitis, nausea, gas, indigestion, bowel
disorders, morning sickness, motion sickness, vomiting, congestion,
fever, and headaches. Asian medicine still uses it as a treatment
for asthma, shortness of breath, water retention, earache, diarrhea,
nausea and vomiting. Homeopathic practitioners even recommend it for
sexual disorders. An added benefit to Ginger is that it is a strong
antioxidant and effective microbial agent for sores and wounds.

Other nutrients that I added myself which I feel would be good for
inner ear functioning:

Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5) - deficiencies - fatigue,
depression,irritability, dizziness, muscular weakness, stomach
distress, constipation, adrenal exhaustion, cramping, lack of
coordination, hypoglycemia, insomnia, stomach/intestinal
disorders..burning,itching,painful feet

Folic Acid - fatigue, bodily weakness, irritable behavior,
insomnia,forgetfulness, intestinal disorders, gastointestinal
disorders, poor health growth, lackluster hair, balding or premature
graying, mental depreession bordering on schizophrenia,.... women
can give premature birth,hemmorrhage after birth and to incur
toxemia, child's growth can be delayed, there can mental retardation
in child

posted September 23, 2011 05:00 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by illusions_fool:
What sort of placements and aspects would make you incapable of having a romantic relationship, or at least not good relationship material? It's something I've been thinking about lately.

~Rebekka

---

posted September 26, 2011 10:10 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dulce Luna:
Its definitely not venus in aqua. I know a cappy with venus in aqua who's perpetually in relationships. After everyone of her breakups I've been around for, all I'd have to do is blink and she already had a new boyfriend.

---

posted September 26, 2011 10:19 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I lean strongly against marriage/a civil union or domestic partnership. I absolutely never under any circumstances want to have kids (biological, adopted, foster, or just kids living in the same house/place), and I'm really not very interested in dates, either. I am not going to debate that with anyone, and am not going to respond to comments personally criticizing me for this (such as calling me immature or selfish) or telling me that I'll "change my mind" or that I "haven't met the right person". I know myself well enough to be sure about these things and I don't feel like I have to justify this to anyone. I don't mean to be rude, but I get a lot of really ignorant comments whenever I open up about being true to myself. There isn't anything wrong with me or anyone else who makes that lifestyle choice. It makes me happy to see couples happy and in love together, but it's not something that I want for myself.

What I do crave, though, is very deep and intense friendship. Not having *that* does upset me, so I am trying to reach out to more people. I tend to feel insecure with friends and almost am waiting for them to get tired of me or to be unable to stand me. Insecurities tend to destroy friendships for me. With a Cancer moon and Scorpio Venus, I can also be moody and overly intense. I tend to be emotionally volatile, but I hide it under the air-sign 'coolness'; it's bubbling and boiling *just* under the surface. I feel that this time in my life is one in which I'm going to learn a lot about friendship and community. I've never really felt like I've truly belonged in a group of people consistently for a long period of time, so it's really important to me to find this kind of fellowship. It's hard for me to really fully believe that people care about me, or that I deserve to be loved. I always feel like I just irritate and burden people and that they couldn't possibly actually want to be friends with me. I'm hoping to change that. I feel just as empty from not really feeling loved or valued as I do from not really feeling like I love others. I care about people, but I don't feel enough closeness to feel like I *love* them. I know that loving leads to hurting and being hurt, but I feel like I really need to feel interconnected with others--or, at the very least, to have more interactions with friends and to really get a sense that I am "part of the puzzle" instead of being one of those "extra pieces" that doesn't actually fit in.

---

i can relate to this too.

posted September 26, 2011 02:05 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bellesoul:
She is a Cappy though, and Cappy's are determined and interested in the long-term. She's probably determined to be in a relationship, but her Aqua in Venus is prob what is causing her to constantly break-up.

---