posted November 26, 2006 03:33 PM              

So they sabotage their own relationships or pick those who are unfit to be in a relationship…so the relationship has to fail. I’ve been doing it for years due to my own commitment issues.

Or they have some lesson to learn and overcome before they can be happy.

posted November 26, 2006 04:13 PM            

I feel that my problems are reflected by Saturn stuff.

Saturn in Gemini:

An inability to breathe freely either literally (weaknesses in the lungs) or, more
probably, intellectually, may present difficulties for you.

Doubts about your intellectual capacities, your level of education or your ability to articulate and communicate freely are likely. You may frequently feel frustrated due to your inability to express you thoughts, or be overly careful to the point of stumbling over or struggling with your words. You are also apt to either decide you do not have what it takes to pursue higher educational studies, or over compensate and believe you must prove
yourself intellectually competent by becoming a serious scholar. Or, you may become
excessively narrow and rigid in your thinking, and thus close yourself off from numerous interesting possibilities in life. Judgments about your intelligence or communicative abilities and/or a need for pragmatic proof of any idea inhibits a free flowing learning process. You might wish to consider taking the flower essence TRUMPET VINE which opens up the throat chakra, helping to promote the ability to speak clearly and assertively.

Sun Quincunx Saturn:

You are like the diamond, whose strength and brilliance are the result of being formed under intense pressure: difficulties, deprivation, or a lack of external support compel you to
develop your strengths and discover your true nature. You may well have developed
self-reliance and the capacity to be responsible for yourself early on, perhaps due to separation or estrangement from your father. Life may thus seem like serious business to you, always an issue of practical survival, with no room for frivolity or joy. Or, your core self (the person you know yourself to be at heart), may have been ignored, rejected, criticized, disparaged, disapproved of. Who you were was not right, or was not good enough. Blockages and wounds to the solar plexus and/or heart centers may have resulted. Symptoms of energy blockages in the solar plexus include low self-esteem, fear of expressing oneself or doubting the value of what you have to offer. The flower essences which work to heal this include: BUTTERCUP (for valuing yourself, appreciating your worth), SELF-HEAL (for restoring confidence and self-healing powers), SUNFLOWER (for low self esteem and conflicts related to how you were fathered) and SAGUARO (for trusting your inner wisdom and authority).

The color bright GOLDEN YELLOW is healing for the solar plexus, as is the elixir of GOLD. Energy work on the solar plexus and heart (such as polarity, Reiki, therapeutic touch, or related therapies) can be very helpful, used alone in conjunction with flower or gem essences.

Suppressed energy around the heart center inhibits one's ability to open to love or to feel loved. Flower remedies intended to heal and expand the heart include ALPINE
AZALEA (for opening to the spirit of love and loving oneself), PEONY (for dissolving
creative blocks and opening the heart), and ZINNIA (for opening to fun, laughter, joy,
child-like playfulness and lightness of heart). One habit that may prevent you from loving and accepting yourself is comparing yourself to a rigid, unattainable, perfectionistic standard. The flower essence PINE is very helpful in softening that attitude. Other flower remedies that may be appropriate for you include: OAK (for feeling that life is a constant struggle) and ORANGE BLOSSOM (to increase hope, joy, and enthusiasm).

Moon Square Saturn:

Issues of nurturing, emotional security and belonging, roots, caring and being cared for, and the ability to spontaneously express emotion and feelings are significant for you. You are hypersensitive to rejection, neglect, or being left out, and may carry feelings of
loneliness and isolation which need to be healed. On a physical level, your digestion may be inhibited. Indifference to food or an inability to absorb and assimilate nutrients, with resultant underweight, may occur. On the other hand, overeating to feed an emotional hunger or inner emptiness is also possible. Discovering what you need to feel truly nourished and giving or providing these things for yourself is very important. Establishing a home that is truly a
source of comfort and support may be chief among these. On an emotional or psychological
level, a predisposition to be overly serious, conscientious, responsible, or guilty, to withhold yourself from others, and/or to simply shut down emotionally, is evident. You tend to be easily discouraged.

There are a number of essences that can help repeaters these emotional habits,
including: ORANGE BLOSSOM ( to increase hope, overcome melancholia), CHERRY
(for cheerfulness, verve), BORAGE (to increase optimism and courage), MIMULUS (for
being overly cautious, timid, or fearful), PINE (for over conscientiousness, perfectionism, guilt), ZINNIA (for playfulness and joy).

If you tend to put up barriers between yourself and others, these essences support you opening up: MALLOW, VIOLET, WATER VIOLET, ALPINE AZALEA. To allow
feelings to flow more freely: PINK MONKEY FLOWER, FUSCHIA, and GOLDEN EARDROPS.

Your relationship to your mother or woman in general may need to be healed if you
received inadequate or inappropriate nurturing as a child. MARIPOSA LILY, EVENING
PRIMROSE, and POMEGRANATE can be very useful there.

Aromatherpy scents which can be very useful include: GERANIUM (for discouragement or depression), ORANGE (helps alleviate fears and doubts),WINTERGREEN (helps create a positive attitude in overcoming health or other problems). These can be used in massage, as a perfume or in an aromatherapy diffuser or mister.

Energy work, (such as Reiki, polarity, or similar techniques) on the base chakra to alleviate insecurities and fears about survival, and on the sacral and solar plexus chakras to help clear congested emotional energies may prove beneficial, too.

Above all, you need to learn to care for yourself in healthy, fulfilling ways. Along these lines the following books or tapes may be useful to you: "Healing Your Aloneness" by E. Chopich and M. Paul, "Inner Bonding" by M. Paul, "The Recovery of Your Inner Child" by Lucia Capacchione, and "Warming The Stone Child" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

The use of PINK, PEACH, and CORAL in decorating, clothing, etc. is helpful.




Mercury contraparallel Saturn

Intellectually, you are systematic and cautious, thorough and exacting. You have a great capacity for mental discipline, serious scholarship, and/or quietly handling mundane necessities and details that others find terribly dry or tedious. You are a heavy thinker, eschewing intellectual "light weights" and a lot of superficial, frivolous talk. Socially, you may be shy, tongue-tied, or a bit clumsy. When out of balance, you can become cynical and skeptical, dense, mentally rigid and overly cautious, untrusting, pessimistic, or fearful, always anticipating and preparing for the worst. You also may doubt your own intelligence, believing yourself to be slow or stupid.

Flower essences that can be helpful include: WHITE CHESTNUT (for worry and negative thinking), FILAREE (for exaggerated worry and an inability to gain a wider perspective on daily events), SCOTCH BROOM (for greater optimism about the world or future events), SHASTA DAISY (for over intellectualizing and inability to think or understand holistically), TRUMPET VINE (for impediments in speech, difficulty in verbally expressing oneself, holding back one's voice), and FISHHOOK CACTUS (for defensive barriers to communication).

You may have blockages in the throat chakra and/or brow chakra, which can be cleared and opened with energy work (such as Reiki polarity, or other laying-on of hands). Gemstones and gem elixirs to help facilitate this process include: MALACHITE-AZURITE (breaks up mental rigidity and congestion in brow or throat), CELESTITE, LAPIS LAZULI, and RUTILATED QUARTZ. You could wear these or place them upon your brow or throat for 15-20 minutes at a time.

"Toning" or sound exercises to open your throat can be extremely helpful to you, in developing confidence in your ability to verbally express yourself, developing your ability to visualize and use your imagination, and letting go of rigidly-held concepts, as well as increase your overall sense of well-being. Sing as often as you can, especially while doing creative activities such as painting, sculpting, cooking. The sound associated with the throat is "Hreeemmm", which can be repeated while visualizing blue light or blue energy being emitted from your throat area. ("The Book of Sound Therapy" by Olivia Dewhurst-Maddock is a good resource if you wish to investigate further.) "Laugh Therapy" is also good medicine for you!




Venus Contraparallel Saturn

In many ways, love, intimacy, and relationship are not easy for you, and you may struggle with loneliness, shyness, social isolation, feeling unlovable, unattractive, or unwanted. Or you may have suffered such losses or pain in love that you fear trusting and opening your heart. If so, your coolness and apparent indifference may well reinforce your aloneness. Insecurities about your ability to keep the affection and loyalty of a lover may compel you to put excessive value on commitment and guarantees in the relationship, perhaps maintaining an essentially joyless or even abusive situation for the sake of "security". However, periods of solitude, and even of deprivation and loneliness, may serve to teach you about your own heart, your deepest values, and how to love and care for yourself, which can lay the foundation for honest, deep, and nourishing relations with others. Thus your mature years are apt to be more gratifying than your youth.

Flower essences that can support the opening and healing of your heart, or resolving thorny issues in relationship, include: CROWN OF THORNS (to help let you go of the belief that love and suffering must go together), BLEEDING HEART (for releasing past heartache), HOLLY (a "master essence" for healing the distortions caused by a lack of love: envy, jealousy, hatred or self-hatred), STICKY MONKEY FLOWER and POISON OAK (for fear of intimacy, unwillingness to be vulnerable), MALLOW (to relax barriers to closeness and trust), PEONY and ALPINE AZALEA (for opening the heart and the spirit of love), COLUMBINE (for self-appreciation and self-love, healing feelings of being alienated and unwanted.).

The gemstones which can be worn or taken as an elixir (combined with any of the above flower essences, or taken alone) include: ROSE QUARTZ, PINK TOURMALINE, and RHODOCHROSITE.

Energy work on the heart and sacral centers can be very helpful, also.

Jupiter Opposition Saturn:

You grow by having a positive attitude and philosophical approach to obstructions, difficulties, frustration, and the ups and downs in life. Vacillating between hope and doubt, confidence and fear, idealism and pragmatic realism can impede your progress (both spiritual and material). Become steady and patient, accept limitation, work with whatever is at hand in the moment, develop practical programs, skills, and strategies, learn to love what is difficult in your life. Read the "Tao te Ching" or "How to Handle Trouble" by John Carmody. Use regular ritual as a way to connect with spirit.

At times, pessimism and an inability to envision a better future or to see the big picture may impede you. Fearing success or overexpansion as much as failure, you may be blocked from taking any successful course of action.

The following essences can help:

GENTIAN, for discouragement and despondency after a setback; for feeling cut off from a source of faith or hope; to ease persistent skepticism which leads to a sense of meaningless or depression.

SAGE, to help perceive the higher purpose and meaning in life's events, and to offset the tendency to see life as ill-fated or undeserved.

On a physical level, your liver may function sluggishly, and a program to boost and tone the liver would also help with all of the issues mentioned above.

posted November 26, 2006 04:41 PM              

Glaucus

we have a alot of similarities in our charts - ie. Saturn/Neptune/Moon t-square, Saturn quincunx Sun.

I cant understand why anyone would have a problem with your "special education" in the past?!?!? I think you may have taken some idiots insults too much to heart. Im surprised I did as well as I did in school...it took alot of will power to work past my negative feelings which interferred A LOT!! I wonder if negative thinking/feeling may have been the reason you were in special education...not because of your actual mind and intellect...because you seem quite intelligent and pick up things in depth relatively easily.

I know when I was younger I was EXTREMELY sensitive to negativity. Like I remember all the negative things said to me when I was a growing up...and cant recall all the positives as easily. I also felt unattractive. But it was all in my head. Just one comment by some idiot would leaving me thinking I was hideous for years. For example, My Aqua uncle said something about my appearance when I was 13 that I still remember to this day. Hes quite superficial actually...just a look at his wives is a tell tale sign. When I was a teenager I couldnt leave the house without makeup and my hair down. Now I dont really wear much makeup and prefer to put my hair up. If you dont like me the way I am than great, I know not to waste time on you.

posted November 26, 2006 04:42 PM            

You seem to be looking for astrological reasons why you don’t have a boyfriend yet, yes?? Rather than thrashing over possibly being “incapable of having a romantic relationship” (which I think is doo-doo or worse ) howzabout let’s explore what it is you’re expressing to others – the signals and messages you unconsciously send out via aura and body language – possibly people pick up vibes of you being anxious and/or nervous, withdrawn, possibly moody?? Perhaps putting yourself in a position where you are more positive will change your aura…..

What do you do for fun, hon?? I know you’re in school, but what do you do to have a good time, what pursuit makes you really happy?? Do you do art or music in any form?? Roller-blade?? Movie-buff?? What kinds of “clubs” are there at your school, or outside it, that you might want to join for a once-a-week meeting (not taking away too much time from the homework )?? When others see you having fun, they won’t be able to resist wanting to join in your fun!!

You seem to be directing a lot of energy inwards (which is never a bad thing) – perhaps you could send out some of that energy into the greater Universe, via volunteering at a soup kitchen, getting active in a political campaign (now’s the time!!), helping at any number of charity organizations (animal shelters come to mind). But getting out and meeting people (besides your classmates) at a place of common interests where your attention is involved in something other than how you come across to others will break the ice for you.

Good luck, sweetie!!
Zala

posted November 26, 2006 05:06 PM            

I like what Zala said--not everything is related to astrology.

I think "energy" has alot to do with it.

I was reading up on feng shui principals the other day and as far as attracting an individual into your life the feng shui way:

Have a your bedroom area just "waiting" for someone...pick colors of love, have pictures of goddesses of love, pics of happy couples (mom & dad for example), de-clutter so that love may find it's way to you. The author even went as far to say to have a vacant drawer, space in the closet so as to symbolize making room for someone to come into your life....

When doing an inventory of my bedroom, I discovered, that I have intuitively feng shuied, but all my drawers are full as is my closet and all be darn if I want some one else's stuff!!

I remain single.

You are so young, give yourself a break!

Terri

posted November 26, 2006 05:29 PM            

That's not true. The negative thoughts/feelings were in result of being put into special education which also resulted in being treated like a freak,outcast by regular school children. I was actually a very flirty kid in preschool. I even got scratched in the face one time for coming onto a girl. heheheheeh. I was already attracted to the opposite sex then.

Special education has nothing to do with intellectual problems. Most people in special education are there to get help for their learning disabilities(meaning they have average to above average intelligence but have problems processing information in a certain way which interferes with adequate learning in mainstream educational environment).

I was in special education because I needed my Dyslexia and Dyspraxia corrected. I had very poor understanding of words,language. Verbal thinking was alien to me because I am a primarily a picture thinker. I was uncoordinated,clumsy I was severely Dyslexic and Dyspraxic as a child. I didn't even know my own last name,but my classmates did. This was in kindergarten. My special education consisted of auditory therapy,speech therapy,and phonics. I also had motor skills coordination therapy. Teachers gave me cards of single letters,they would sound out the letter for me,and then they had me sound out the letter. Then it was cards of groups of letters. Then it was cards with words with pictures on them. This was phonemic awareness training and phonics. This is what they use for auditory Dyslexics. In 1st grade, I had to write my full name,address,and phone number over and over again daily. What was automatic to most children wasn't automatic to me. I had to be taught. Speech,language problems can lead to poor social skills. After all, if you have poor concept of words/language,you wouldn't know what words pertaining to emotions and social activities. I didn't know what the word,sad meant as a little kid. Not because I wasn't perceptive of emotions per se, but I didn't understand the words that label emotions. I didn't understand the words that label actions. I had to be intensively taught that stuff. My special education teachers had me look at cards about emotions and actions and ask me what each card meant.

When I was a child,I was very slow at picking up things easily.....if it had to do with words,language. I was slow at picking things easily due to sequencing issues. I am still the same way. Even in the navy, people thought I was stupid because they showed me how to do something, I didn't get it right away. I am sure that there are a lot of people who think others are stupid because they don't get things right away or need to be shown over and over again. That's how I am. I have poor short term memory,but I have good long term memory. Even the neuropsychological testing showed that immediate visual memory is impaired and my immediate verbal memory is borderline impaired.

I didn't speak clearly nor in full sentences until almost 8 years old.

It was combination of speech problems, coordination problems,and being in special education that got regular school kids to call me "retard" all the time,and so I grew up feeling that I was stupid.

I am far more compentent in language than I was at a child. The nuns thought I was speaking a foreign language when I was talking in preschool. They asked my mother what language I spoke. I had my speech and hearing tested. They told my mother that I wasn't hearing things right,was turning stuff around when I heard it,and that people need to slow down when talking to me. They told her that it was a form of Dyslexia. So auditory reversals led to me having unintelligible speech that included reversals. Of course, that was corrected by auditory therapy and speech therapy which gave me the phonemic awareness to be taught phonics which teaches phonological awareness to enable a person to read. That's why speech problems is one of the early warning signs of Dyslexia. If you have problems sounding out words in general,then you will have problems sounding out words that you see. A person who thinks mainly in pictures will tend to have problems with words in general.

Special education is very misunderstood. It's not just for mentally retarded. Many people are in special education for early intervention therapies like I had. Many intelligent children are in special education getting speech therapy and other therapies to address problems that have nothing to do with lack of intelligence.

The problem is that special education is very misunderstood and too many people think special education is for the mentally retarded only. That's why a lot of special ed students are labeled "retard" by their regular school peers even though they are of average to above average intelligence.

posted November 26, 2006 05:47 PM              

There was a guy that used to frequent these boards that has the same t-square I do...I guess it works differently for boys and girls. Your story sounds similar to his...though Im not sure if he was dyslexic and had the same needs you did.

posted November 26, 2006 05:56 PM              

quote:

---

btw...gifted learning disabled are the most complicated people. They are known as twice exceptional. I fit into that category myself.

---

posted November 26, 2006 05:57 PM              

I agree Aqua. Many people who are afraid of commitment pick partners that they know aren't suitable for them, because they know the relationship won't last. I'll admit, I've been guilty of that.

posted November 26, 2006 06:05 PM            

I have a history of mental health problems...I have diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder,Dysthymic Disorder,and Avoidant Personality Disorder.....they resulted from low self esteem,insecurity.

in 1999, psychiatrists misdiagnosed me as having Schizoaffective Bipolar disorder because of my Dyslexic,Dyspraxic speech difficulties (mainly my cluttering). Rapid,disorganized speech.

That's one of the reasons why I don't trust psychiatrists. I believe that a lot of neurodivergent people have been misdiagnosed as having mental health issues like bipolar and schizophrenia. Dyspraxia is a very misunderstood condition,and it's lot more challenging than Dyslexia.

my t-square consists of:
Moon in Pisces in 6th
retrograde Saturn in Gemini in 9th
Jupiter in Sagittarius in 3rd
Neptune in Sagittarius in 3rd

Mercury-Venus-Saturn-Neptune planetary synchronization in declinations