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Author
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Topic: Another Survey: Would you marry or stay married for security?
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kindjali
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Sep 2009
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posted December 11, 2006 06:28 PM
  
Through bad things and sorrow comes understanding of Love, like in all things, you must get to mud and yourself to truly feel it. Then, you will touch the Heaven and your being.K. IP: Logged |
kindjali
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Sep 2009
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posted December 11, 2006 06:37 PM
Have you ever felt this things:When you wake up in the morning with that person in your head and went sleeping also with her. When I speak with her in my dreams...when you work in the office and feel she is here, I look through window 5 minutes later and see her in her car, searching to find if I still work here. I "feel" her presence.
When I feel like somebody put knife in my heart, and 2 days later I heard she had car accident...Thats a love, when persons are connected not only in this world, but beyond. K. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 250
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 11, 2006 06:41 PM
I've already found it with my gemini monkey  he's my best friend (and entertainer too)IP: Logged |
kindjali
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Sep 2009
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posted December 11, 2006 06:53 PM
Hehehhe  IP: Logged |
sue g
unregistered
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posted December 11, 2006 07:03 PM
The passage of time changes love.....I walked away from two marriages because I had "fixed" ideas about love (and I was unhappy) If I did decide to stay in a marriage for reasons other than love I would be lying to myself... However anyone who thinks they can sustain the heady heights of romance and passion after many many years is fooling themselves. Would I stay for security? Never did in the past! Now....hmmm....I have a son to think of who needs two parents....but if I didnt love his Dad I couldnt stay... Lets say my expectations of love have changed... I WOKE UP!!! And grew up too.... Now I love deeply.....but its a different form of love...! Sun, Merc, Jupiter, Neptune, Venus in Scorpio
Mars and Moon in Taurus
Asc Aries IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 4416
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 11, 2006 07:14 PM
I think "soul mate" is a term you discover after many hard fought years together. When you realize your continued commitment has meant the world to you, then I think you can discover that your partner was your "soul mate" after all.IP: Logged |
InLoveWithLife
unregistered
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posted December 11, 2006 07:19 PM
Sue g and AG  this is exactly what i meant. i think it takes a lifetime, and more, to learn what love really is. IP: Logged |
OzMeg222
Newflake Posts: 0
From: victoria, australia
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 11, 2006 07:50 PM
Interesting topic.I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship for 5 years longer than I should've because I didn't want to pull apart the family for the sake of my children. Eventually I realised that I wasn't helping anyone and now every single one of us is so much happier. My jerk ex is happy to cos he can keep on being a jerk with nobody to reprimand him (his fiance is learning though, lol!) Definately #2! I would only marry for love, only marry once. Probably won't ever get married for that reason- scared to make a mistake and be stuck married to some bozo forever. I love the idea of the cinderella story, I'm a hopeless romantic. Also terrified of such a huge mistake. Marriage is huge to me. IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Newflake Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 11, 2006 07:55 PM
I would definitely go with #2. Marrying someone for security and not for love is one mistake I would live to regret. No matter how good number 1 sounds, I don't want to do it with someone I didn't love. I would really start to feel trapped. Sorry for being a hopeless romantic 
Cancer Sun/virgo moon/Cap Asc.
Gemini Venus/Aries mars/cancer mercury
IP: Logged |
BornUnderDioscuri
Moderator Posts: 49
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted December 11, 2006 08:06 PM
InLoveWithLife,
I would have to agree with you because it is hard to know what true love is. Sometimes you think the person is the one only to be dissapointed later. But if you grow to love and have compassion with someone, perhaps its a considerably good relationship. IP: Logged |
Ling
unregistered
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posted December 11, 2006 09:04 PM
I will pick 2, purely cos I truely believe to live my life to the fullest... Love has to be experienced and living a lie isn't an option to me. Anyway, I wouldn't marry him if i dun love him. If love do ran out its course, and there is nothing left to hold on to, well, the best is to let the man go, tell the kids that this is inevitable and we love them nonetheless. I always try to be financially independent to allow myself the chances of options. Money isn't everything but it gives the freedom of choice.Sun: Leo
Moon: Aquarius
Merc: Cancer
Venus: Gemini
Mars: Libra
ASC: Libra ------------------
Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Libra Ascendent. IP: Logged |
Ling
unregistered
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posted December 11, 2006 09:20 PM
... I thought it will be important to add in that my mum chose option one... which didn't help us kids. We rather she chose happiness. Maybe she did love my dad deeply despite everything but hmmmmmm... cannot do what she did. i rather live day by day than complain to my kids about my spouse.------------------
Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Libra Ascendent. IP: Logged |
DayDreamer
unregistered
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posted December 11, 2006 10:20 PM
Personally, right now, I couldnt imagine marrying anyone I didnt have deep feelings for before marriage...(I have a few more years till my first saturn return). If I was 40, hell yes! Hopefully love and a committed bond will form during the marriage...I would make it work (saturn in the 5th  )
Aqua Sun/ Pisces Moon/ Gem Asc
Sag Venus/ Aqua Mars/ Aqua Mer
IP: Logged |
mysticaldream
unregistered
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posted December 11, 2006 10:37 PM
Option 3: If boring, but prosperous man in option 1 did not try to restrict me in any way..... I would take option 1 and find something "hotter" on the side.Just kidding.............(as far as you know) Libra Sun and Moon
Venus, Neptune and Ascendant Scorpio
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Lauren
unregistered
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posted December 11, 2006 10:38 PM
I’d only marry someone if I felt there was a connection there. Years down the track, (even if I did fall out of that initial feeling) I would stay with my husband and kids without a shadow of a doubt. Not for security reasons though. I strongly doubt I wouldn’t have a job or that I’d consider the security factor.. but simply because I value devotion more than infatuation. The fact that he was there for me for years, in itself would make me care about him more deeply than I could ever care about a new person, even if I might feel a stronger sexual and/or romantic attraction to them. But I’m not fussed about fairytale endings or finding the ‘love of my life’ these days. Been there, done that.. hurt like hell, not going there again.
That sounds quite bitter now that I’ve typed it lol but I’m actually not bitter about this.
I guess maybe if I hadn’t experienced it, my answers would be different. If I had never been in love to that extent, I guess I’d want to know what it felt like.. with all the soulmate/twinsoul stories floating around everywhere, books magz tv. But I’ve had my own ‘twin’ story, that God knows I never asked for; and it provided me with enough love (and hate), to last me several lifetimes.
I need a very long break from that sort of stuff, maybe a permanent break. Aries sun/Cap moon, mars and neptune/ Gem Asc IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Newflake Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 11, 2006 10:42 PM
Yeah, good point. I should've added that I know that initial feeling won't last forever and it takes work. In the long run, if were both loyal to eachother and unconditionally love eachother then thats good enough for me. I just couldn't marry anyone I didn't love in the first place, that is all. IP: Logged |
Aislinn
unregistered
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posted December 11, 2006 11:02 PM
My first response to this was no, I would not marry only for security. The more I thought about it though, I realised it would depend on the guy. If he were a person I greatly respected and liked, I would probably go ahead and marry him. But only if we were close friends and respected each other. What are your placements?
Sun/Moon/Asc=Cancer/Sagittarius/Taurus
Venus/Mars/Mercury=Taurus/Taurus/Cancer IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 435
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 12, 2006 12:45 AM
I'd take #1.I've been in love with love so many times, it's not funny. 100 heartbreaks later, I have learned that there is more to life than romantic love. Love is caring for someone and wanting good things for them. That can be the foundation of a good marriage for me. Sun Virgo
Moon Libra
Asc Pisces
Mars, Sun, Venus Moon in 7th house. IP: Logged |
sue g
unregistered
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posted December 12, 2006 04:20 AM
Love is heaven and hellMost people yearn for the heaven part and then get bitterly disappointed... Unless it pushes you to the limits, it probably isnt soul love.... I liken it to labour....you sometimes reach a point where you feel you just cannot give any more And then you find that extra "somethng" which gives you strength to carry on I had no idea what real love was until I became a mother....that is the sort of love that brings you to your knees and takes you to a different level with your partner. Its awesome  if you dont scare easily  IP: Logged |
Salisa
unregistered
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posted December 12, 2006 06:35 AM
I couldn't live in a marrige with out love ( not talkn about passion, that comes and goes real love is a different animal completely) To me the deep spiritual and emotional bond of love is far more important. My spirit my soul can't live off a big house and fancy cars. I mean the whole reason for living a physical life is to grow as a spiritual being. I believe going throught the trials and tribulations of love gives you a whole lot more than say being able to go out a shop for fine clothes every day, I mean after all you can't bring your possessions with you to where ever you go after you die. But real love follows you where ever you go even in death.
So... in short I choose #2Sun Gemini 10th
Moon Aries 7th or 8th
Mercury Gemini 10th
Venus Taurus 8th or 9th
Mars Cancer 10th
AC Virgo IP: Logged |
sue g
unregistered
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posted December 12, 2006 06:46 AM
"""""But real love follows you where ever you go even in death""""".Beautiful words Salisa  x
IP: Logged |
kindjali
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Sep 2009
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posted December 12, 2006 06:48 AM
Salisa...my kind of woman IP: Logged |
alanabelle86
Knowflake Posts: 40
From: Somewhere over the rainbow
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 12, 2006 06:55 AM
I would stay married If I'm being supported and provided with an excellent life that I could not provide for myself or equal (that's the key here). If we had kids, then staying together isn't really an option...I would just stay and not give it a second thought, unless I was being abused or worse..... and security in marriage is just AS important, if not more important than love to me. I'm not saying i'd marry for money, bu t money would DEFINITELY influence my decision. Scorpio Sun/Leo Moon/Libra Ascendant
Venus in Scorpio, 1
Mercury in Scorpio, 2
Mars in Aquarius, 4
------------------
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere" - MLK Jr. Imperfection is beauty; madness is genius. and its better to be [u]absolutely ridiculous[/u] than absolutely b o r i n g. - Marilyn Monroe IP: Logged |
miss_muffet
unregistered
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posted December 12, 2006 06:57 AM
I see that idealistic love is still alive in this forum...Just curious to see how old each of those who answered #2 are... Sometimes, perspective changes with age and when reality kicks in. Sorry but I may be a tad pessimistic. After all, I have one failed marriage under my belt. The one marriage I thought was based on pure and undying love - it flew out the window. MM *edited to add*
I agree with alanabelle... definitely. IP: Logged |
kindjali
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Sep 2009
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posted December 12, 2006 07:05 AM
I think years are not important here, as some life experience.
Years don't bring maturity, only wisdom, that comes through some life experience. You can have 40, but still be "shallow person".
Wisdom...comes from balancing life realism and what your soul longs for...you can't take only one of them because of some "life teaching", that can be interpreted wrongly, but you must them both.
I balance both, but I still rather listen some "inner voice" and heart...atleast I feel alive.P.S. Money and security won't fill your soul, only make you empty person. We all have ability to work and provide something in our life, why should other money matters? If you want money, why didn't you spend your life making one? Security? There is no security in relationship without emotions...other side could start to find emotions somewhere else, or all can broke down, and there is no security anymore. So what will you say then? That you spend all that time for nothing and didnt feel anything? IF it was for emotions, true friendship, and If you lose that one day, you can turn around and say:"I lived like a human being and felt something. I don't regret". K. K. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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