posted December 11, 2006 05:17 PM              

- or -

2. Take a chance, say no to marrying (or leave the marriage) and hope that you will eventually find love?

Take into consideration that:
1. Your parents absolutely loves the guy or If you are married (you have kids)
2. You are in your late 30's early 40's and have not found love.

Would you marry because you feel that this is your last chance of ever having a family of your own (or staying for the sake of children)?

What are your placements?
Sun/Moon/Asc
Venus/Mars/Mercury

My answer:
1 - I would marry if I am not married, and I would stay put if I am already married especially if there are kids involved. No reason to hurt another human being just for me, as long as hubby isn't abusive and loves me anyway... could be worse.

Aries Sun / Taurus Moon / Scorpio Asc
Pisces Venus / Taurus Mars / Pisces Mercury

Thanks,

MM

posted December 11, 2006 05:34 PM              

Sun: Sagittarius
Moon: Pisces
Merc: Sagittarius
Venus: Sagittarius
Mars: Gemini
ASC: Virgo

posted December 11, 2006 05:41 PM              

Before I met this older woman who went through hell to stay with her husband who cheated on her once, my answer would be undoubtedly be "No way in hell. Would rather be alone than married to someone who had cheated on me, kids or no kids."

This woman I met, whose husband cheated on her once... the husband was very repentive and had worked hard for her forgiveness. They stayed together for what would be 14 years now since "the incident". They stayed together mainly for the kids. They have 2. Both are teenagers now and had no idea that the incident ever happened to their parents.

The woman never really forgave her husband. I asked her why she would stay where she is and she simply said, that apart from that incident, her husband was a great provider and a great father for the kids... he's very devoted. She has a good life, better than anyone I know. She doesn't work... just shops all day. She's only 40+ but has been retired for over 10 years now.

It made me wonder if I could do what she's done and sacrificed love for material comfort and kids...

posted December 11, 2006 05:41 PM              

My placements are:
Sun Virgo
Moon Taurus
ASC Taurus
Venus Virgo
Mars Scorpio
Mercury Libra

posted December 11, 2006 05:44 PM            

K.

posted December 11, 2006 05:59 PM              

Oohh!, Virgotaurustaurus, I can relate TOTALLY to what u wrote!-

Quoting: "number 1 sounds like a horror to me. And I cannot imagine staying with someone I don't love"

I don't want children either.

posted December 11, 2006 06:03 PM              

Turning this same scenario...

Would you rather take the risk that you would someday be old and gray, when all your immediate family are dead (will happen someday), not find love and not marry (no family), celebrating Xmas, Birthdays, etc alone with your cats, longing for someone to talk to than have a family with a good provider, and perhaps spend the holidays with your children and your grandchildren, or at the very minimum, your spouse?

Love is sometimes so grandiose... some of us are lucky to find it; some aren't. In the end, I think friendship is better than waiting for something that may or may not happen? I don't know... it is all a matter of perspective.

Sex and passion do come and go. When you're in your 70's, you won't be thinking about when the next time you will have sex but rather who you can talk to. So friendship will survive sex.

I have had the opportunity to see first hand how mature people live the last days of their lives and without family around them, they are very sad. I am not sure if I can do it...

My answer when I was in my 20's is way different than mine today. Perhaps as we mature and have had a look at the sadder side of life, our outlook changes?

posted December 11, 2006 06:07 PM              

ohh yes! and guess what- my venus is in the 6th house (ruled by virgo, right?), and my mercury is in the 7th (libra??)

posted December 11, 2006 06:12 PM              

I guess what I'm saying is I'm a really solitary person who doesn't miss people when they aren't around, I'm sure that might sound cruel to some but I'm just comfortable and find others to be an awesome extra but not totally necessary.

posted December 11, 2006 06:16 PM            

Friendship is important, without it nothing makes sense, but there must be feeling of love, not as in days you met, but in some amount there must be.

K.

P.S.

posted December 11, 2006 06:19 PM              

I know a couple (they have been together for a very long time, they are not married though), where both partners stay in the relationship just because it is more comfortable that way. The man is cheating on his girlfriend and actually loves another woman, but still stays in the "stable" relationship. And his girlfriend accepts that he cheats on her. Of course she is hurt everytime he confesses his infidelities to her, but she just wouldn't give him the boot, because she's too afraid of facing life on her own.

I always found it very hard (if not impossible) to grasp why anyone would stay in a relationship with someone out of responsibility or guilt or simply because it is more comfortable that way. Love is not about making everyone else happy (be it your parents or friends) or meeting any outdated expectations from society. Love is about making yourself and the one you TRULY love happy.

My placements:

posted December 11, 2006 06:23 PM              

It's scary feeling like life had just seem passed me by.

I have lived the past 17 years of my life only with my immediate family - hubby and kids. I have no extended family here whatsoever so I am apprehensive to say that I will give up what I have to go find something that may or may not exits.

I don't have to of course because hubby and I do love each other. But just thinking I that someone out there probably have to make that choice makes me cringe.

I think I will always want to find that one special friend that I can share absolutely everything with. Maybe if I have a friend like that, I won't mind so much being alone.