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Author Topic:   What if your soul mate doesn't recognise you?
purple_scorp
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Posts: 432
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 28, 2004 11:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for purple_scorp     Edit/Delete Message
I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve by posting this. I have written snippets of this post in other posts but I felt compelled to put it all in the one place.

In summary, I met a soul mate who didn't feel about me the same way I felt about him. I am trying to figure if this was because his soul's job was to break the karma between us, or if there is some other reason.

Here's my story:

Earlier this year, I registered on a single's dating website. I received over 100 requests and answered about ten of these. One was from a guy who lived two states from me. Usually, I wouldn't have responded but something about him and his profile, grabbed my attention.

We exchanged weekly emails and that eventually lead to telephone conversations. I learnt that there were several parallels between our lives. For example:

My first name is the same as his ex-wife's first name.

I am one of three sisters. Two of them are married to men with the same first name.

He is born on the same day and year as my oldest sister's husband.

I also have a step-brother with the same first name.

His middle name is my stepfather's first name.

His surname is my nephew's first name.

He first knew me by another name, so I told him to call me the initials of both names. Together they make the sound of his daughter's name.

We both have lived in Melbourne.

We both barracked for the same football team, though neither one follows the football anymore.

We are both born with the sun and mercury in the first house.

We are both water signs.

We are both deep thinkers.

He has the exact same initials as an ex-lover of mine, they are both water signs.

The more I got to know about him, the more I felt pulled toward him. Instantly when I'd hang up from him on the phone, I felt sad. I wrote to him asking if it was possible to miss somebody before you've even met them.

I met him a fortnight ago and I instantly recognised his soul. I felt as though I'd known him forever. At one point, when we were sitting in a crowded bar, it was as though somebody had lifted our table and chairs out of that place and deposited them somewhere else. Time stood still for me. It was almost as if I was having an out of body experience. While I was with him, I could not eat - it was like there was better things to do. Eating was definitely a low priority.

Then I found out some more parallels:

Our mothers share the same birthday.

Our fathers are both Aquarians.

He told me I have exactly the same front teeth as his sister (and showed me a picture to prove it).

I thought our time together was really special, though, it did take a twist on the second day. He'd brought me some photos to share some of his past. When we got to the ones of his ex-wife and a house he was renovating, he visibly became upset. And, being the inquisitive Scorp that I am, I pushed him to tell me about it. It was obvious to me that he was carrying a lot of hurt and pain from his marriage breakdown (which was over 5 years ago).

We spent another couple of hours together but he was different. He was cold and distant where he'd been intimate and romantic.

I left not quite wondering what was going on. The next day, he sent me an email saying he didn't want to pursue a relationship with me.

I sent him an email telling him what I felt for him. I got no reply.

I came to this website and had another member look up soulmates based on my birthdate. His birthdate was listed under it.

Then, I found another post here where you could have a free destiny reading. It said that I owed a karmic debt to a 9 of clubs.

I looked up his birthdate and name and he is a 9 of clubs.

I have no doubt that he is a soulmate.

A day or so later, I sent him another email explaining all of this, and listing the string of coincidences (parallels).

I have had no reply.

Another friend had suggested that perhaps his soul's job was to break the karmic tie between us. And if that is true, than my soul's job is to let him go.

It's just that I am not convinced that this is true. Why were there so many parallels? I had followed my heart with this guy. I am usually such a head person, but my heart just took control. Very unusual. I have never felt the way about anybody that I did about him.

I would really be pleased to find out what others think.

Also, as I said earlier....he has the same first name and was born the same day/year as my brother-in-law. That also means my b-i-l is a soul mate and that I owe him a karmic debt. How can I work out what that is and how to repay it?

Thanks

purple_scorp

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sthenri
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From: Generic New England City
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posted September 29, 2004 12:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
purple-zen, you are asking one of us how you can make this relationship work, but I don't think anyone has the answer. It's up to him, to play ball, once you throw the ball into his court, he has to throw it back. All of us have instincts and I think yours are sound, but he has to get in touch with himself. If you pursue a relationship and he is unaware, it can do him more damage.

Psychologically he is damaged by his breakup, five years or five minutes, it makes no difference to some who are re-living the moments. The nervous system can only take so much stimulation in one day, and he could be reliving his past, in a post traumatic stress disorder way.

He needs therapy to get over his breakup soon, if you push him in that direction, he will trust your instincts, but if you need anything from him he may break down. Being a soulmate doesn't keep the bad memories away, and obviously his ex really hurt him. Being with you triggered his guilt and he was right to take some time to think. Who knows what he may come up with? I am sure that our instincts, emotions come from another place, but feelings of inadequacy squash those feelings.

Insecurity and inadequacy sound like challenges for this man, and he is right to work on becoming his own person first before getting involved,
be his friend, don't mention romance, just be there in case he needs to talk. Allow him space to try, fail, and try again.

That's my advice,

Take Care,
Natasha
Taurus/6th

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KarenSD
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Posts: 534
From: San Diego CA USA
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 29, 2004 02:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarenSD     Edit/Delete Message
I really like the above advice to you, purple_scorp. It makes a lot of sense.

I can feel your disappointment, and can only give you a cyber hug for the moment.

Sometimes even the ones we "owe" who may indeed be "soulmates" cannot be, will not be or are not able to be in the right "space" (head and/or heart) to reciprocate at this moment.

That is not to say that someday there won't be a gathering of the hearts of the two of you for further connection (and i imagine w/your brother-in-law as well this would be something to look into further, when the time is right) but this person is unable and unwilling to be what your soul is telling you he is. I haven't a doubt that he is, but the timing is not right.

I would not advise you to wait around forever, but I do think some time is needed by and necessary for this person to deal with his own "stuff." Whether you choose to wait another 10 minutes, 10 weeks, 10 months or 10 years is up to you.

It is of the utmost importance that each of us find our own way to be happy with ourselves. He sounds like he has a ways to go (don't we all!??!) and most definitely could, would and truly should benefit from time spent with a trained counselor/analyst/psychologist/psychiatrist who can help him deal with what is very obviously some deep scars, innate fears and past disappointments and frustrations.

Take care of yourself FIRST, purple_scorp and let the world/G-d/karma/fate/the heavens take care of what is supposed to be, when it is supposed to be.

HUGE HUG,
KarenSD

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purple_scorp
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Posts: 432
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 29, 2004 05:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for purple_scorp     Edit/Delete Message
Hello Natasha and Karen,

Thank you for your replies, I have addressed them separately but in this one post. Can I just say at the outset that I am 40 and he is 44. So, we are not ďyoung and delusionalĒ. Not that Iím implying that you thought that we were, I just thought I should mention that.

Firstly, Natasha, was that a Freudian slip? I am purple_scorp, not purple-zenÖ.LOL.

I agree with pretty much all that you said, though I do not believe that I was asking how I could make the relationship work. I thought more that I was asking to understand why we came together in the first place.

The last word I said in my second email to him was that if heíd come into my life to break the karmic tie, then my soulís job was to let him go. I feel that my soul has enough love to do this. Actually, I feel that I have already done this. He lives two states away from me and unless he contacts me, I donít think I will contact him again. To tell you the truth, I did not really expect to get a reply to the emails that I sent him. In my first email, I said that I thought I had come into his life to give him an opportunity to go back to the past and heal the hurt and the pain. You see, I think he has forgotten but he has not yet forgiven.

I actually feel that he thought he was way more advanced (in terms of moving on from his past) than what he really is and yes, I think you are right that I brought this fact home to him. Where does the guilt come in though? I did a tarot reading the other day (using Osho Zen deck Ė which was interesting given you called me purple-zen). Anyhow, I drew cards for the positions of: situation, what I donít know, what I do know, advice, and outcome. I drew Guilt for what I donít know. So I was very interested that you mentioned it too. Can you please give me a little more information? Do you think he was guilty about becoming involved with me in the first place???

He is a Cancerian and he retreated into the safety and security of his shell. I am not in a position to suggest he seeks professional help. I know he is a deep thinker so I think the best that I can hope for is that he will do some internalising and try to deal with some of this past hurt and that he will seek professional help of his own accord.

Hello to you too, Karen and thank you so much for the hug.

Yes, I did feel disappointed, particularly seeing everything was beautiful, up until he showed me pictures of his ex-wife/life. That morning he had shown me photos of his childhood and teenage years and he was all smiles. The night before he was very affectionate, romantic and intimate. I struggled to see how someone could go from that to distant and cold within minutes. Though, I know of the cancer moods, I have a Cancerian son.

I donít know if it was timing, or whether his soul has fulfilled the role of breaking the tie. I guess only time will tell.

Karen, I really appreciate your advice to take care of myself first. I was in a dead-end relationship/then marriage for almost 20 years. I have been separated for nearly four years and have kept a journal since day 1. It is amazing to look back and see how much Iíve grown. I have spent a lot of time nurturing myself and following my spiritual path.

I am very happy with my life at the moment and Iím not putting my life on hold for anybody. However, having said that, I am very aware of synchronicity and I knew there was a reason why I had to meet this man.

Maybe there is no more.

Thanks once again to both of you.

purple_scorp

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key
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Posts: 313
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2002

posted September 29, 2004 10:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for key     Edit/Delete Message
Hi -

I saw a morning talk show yesterday, and a guest from "Will and Grace" - a sitcom on TV - was a featured guest. Apparently a whole book has been written about one of the TV episodes - "He is just not that interested". Women called in during the show with questions:
_______________________________

1. Why hasn't he called?
2. Why hasn't he asked me out?
3. Why hasn't he proposed?
4. Why hasn't he e-mailed?
______________________________

The response was the same to all of the questions. If someone were really interested/attracted/in-love, you would be the focus. Time would be made for the call, the date, the e-mail. If he doesn't act interested/attracted/in-love, he is not. This is actually good for you to understand this, so that you do not waste your time (analyzing, wondering, worrying, obsessing).

I don't know about soul mates, but I trust what my mother said to me a long time ago. There is someone out there for you. He will come when you least expect it. He will make you feel good and safe, not insecure and in turmoil.

Love,
Key

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key
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From: USA
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posted September 29, 2004 10:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for key     Edit/Delete Message
Sorry, I gave some incorrect info. The author is a writer for "Sex in the City", and the line is - "He's Just Not That Into You".
_________________________________
He's Just Not That Into You : The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
by Greg Behrendt

Key

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key
Knowflake

Posts: 313
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2002

posted September 29, 2004 10:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for key     Edit/Delete Message

By Roxanne Roberts
The Washington Post


It was a great date. He promised to call. He never called.

The average single woman will stare at the phone, willing it to ring. A long list of possibilities circle through her brain, like a hamster on an exercise wheel:

He lost my number. He's really busy. He's intimidated. I talked too much. I drank too much. I slept with him. I didn't sleep with him. ...

No, no, no. None of the above. The answer, author Greg Behrendt says, is that he's not really interested.

Doesn't matter why. No ego-soothing platitudes. No pop psychology. No cute relationship tricks.

He's just not that into you.

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.
_________________________________

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key
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From: USA
Registered: Jun 2002

posted September 29, 2004 10:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for key     Edit/Delete Message
Here is the rest of it:

Behrendt strips away all the excuses for men (why he didn't call, isn't faithful, disappears, won't commit, etc., etc.) in the new book "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys," so women will stop wasting their time on the wrong guy.

The Los Angeles comedian was a bachelor for two decades before settling down. By his own admission, he was guilty of plenty of bad dating behavior - which made him a perfect consultant to the hit HBO series "Sex and the City."

For the past three seasons, Behrendt advised the show's all-female writing staff, sitting in on scriptwriting sessions and providing the "straight male" feedback.

"The biggest lie of all is 'It's not you,' because you are the person I'm in the relationship with. The truth is, 'It is you, and I'm not into you,'Ü" said Behrendt, 41, now a happily married father of a 2-year-old daughter.

About 18 months ago, Behrendt listened to the female writers ("All sharp, all attractive, couldn't have more going for themselves," he said) discuss a guy who had gone out with one of them, kissed her, then declined to come up to her apartment because he had an early meeting.

No call the next day, but he sent an e-mail a week later.

The other writers all reassured the woman that she was fabulous and that he must be scared or really busy. Behrendt knew no morning meeting will keep an attracted man from a midnight mambo.

"My first thought was, 'I don't care if I'm flying the space shuttle tomorrow, I'm coming up.'Ü"

He broke the news: The guy wasn't into her.

The writers gasped.

"We were horrified," Liz Tuccillo said. "It was like we were all punched in the stomach. Then we started laughing."

The cruel reality descended on the room. Each woman grilled Behrendt about her own relationship, and each time he shot down all the sympathetic excuses. The bottom line: If these men were truly interested, they would call, be faithful, commit and more.

It was just common sense to him, but a revelation to the women.

"He's just not that into you" appeared in a sixth-season script of the show, the blunt answer to Miranda when she puzzled over the baffling behavior of her new beau.

Tuccillo, also 41 but never married, was so taken with the idea that she decided to write a book with Behrendt detailing the many variations of "JNITY" in relationships.

"I had so many years and years of making excuses for men," she said.

There's plenty of dating advice, mostly for women trying to deconstruct the hearts of men. The premise is that men are complicated, emotionally stunted creatures incapable of direct action.

And so women spend years obsessing with understanding girlfriends, wildly hoping that deep down he's really in love and wants to be with them. Even if he doesn't pick up the phone.

People always want to know, "What happened?"

Nothing happened, said Nancy Kirsch, senior vice president of It's Just Lunch international dating service. "Ultimately, chemistry is impossible to predict. That's what it boils down to.

But women, she said, are much more prone to second-guessing than men.

"We want to try to figure it out. We want to fix it."

And they so want to believe men are telling the truth.

But when a guy is truly interested in a woman, he pursues her. That's the way it's always been, Behrendt said, and nothing has changed it.
__________________________
Hope this helps,
Key, an Aries mars sun & moon conjunct

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Mama Mia
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Registered: Jun 2005

posted September 29, 2004 11:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Hi, May I just add a few words to this nothing real long. What GOD has for you is for you. Nothing or no one can and will take it away. So if you feel this man is your soul mate and sometimes one person can see it b 4 the other it will happen, just be patient and be ready to recieve it when it happens.

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KarenSD
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From: San Diego CA USA
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 29, 2004 12:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarenSD     Edit/Delete Message
*HUGS purple_scorp*

Oh, i am ever-so-glad to know you are out of a relationship that made you sad for far too long and that you are taking care of yourself!

Journaling is unbelievable after you move on from something that held you back.

(I understand all of the above only too well!)

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, KEEP FORGING AHEAD!

I believe in the "soulmate" concept without a doubt, by the way, tho sometimes i do also think we have MANY "soulmates" for all sorts of reasons who come into our lives. (One of my fave books, "Many Lives, Many Masters" sort of addresses this kind of thing.)

You may have struck the chord he needed to have struck for whatever reason it needed to be struck. My hope for YOU is that you remain open to any chord striking that comes YOUR way, whether it is by/from him, or from another person or place.

Please keep taking good care of YOUR SELF!

*HUGS*

KarenSD

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purplezen
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From: outer space
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posted September 29, 2004 04:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for purplezen     Edit/Delete Message
just saying hi to another purple girl

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purple_scorp
Knowflake

Posts: 432
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 29, 2004 06:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for purple_scorp     Edit/Delete Message
Hello all,

thanks so much for your advice and support. It's really good to thrash around a few ideas with you all.

Can I just say again, that I am not so much concerned about what is going to happen in the future, if anything, with this guy, as why we came together in the first place. I am a strong believer in signs and there were just too many to be ignored.

So I can assure you, I am not sitting by the phone, waiting for his call. In fact, I'm actually dating another men.

Hi Key, I remember that Sex in the City episode "He's just not into you". Actually, I think the whole series is really clever and a huge insight into otherwise taboo subjects. I am lucky in that I also have some very close men friends who often share the male viewpoint with me.

Mama Mia, I know he was a soul mate. I also believe that the Universe has a greater plan for me. When you lexigram my name, I have the words "ANALYSE" and "DETAIL" in it. Curiosity often sees me wanting to know of my future. Not so much what it holds, but when....where am I on my journey's path. So I am constantly asking my guides for help in not being so involved with the outcome. Not specifically with this guy, but with a lot of things in my life. I try to have faith and to believe in the Universal plan.

I agree Karen, that we each have many soul mates. In that list that somebody did here, there are about 18 birthdates....so I am very open to what comes my way. He was just one, and one with a lot of baggage. I could have provided healing for him, however, that's not really what I want in a relationship at this point in time. Hmm, maybe I should write a letter to the Universe to clarify that.

And finally, hi purplezen....it's nice to meet you. Are you as crazy about purple as I am? Most of my wardrobe is purple and so are many things in my house. Friends and family are always giving me purple things. I love it.

Thanks to everyone, once again. My gut tells me that the purpose of our meeting has been served. But it's always nice to listen to the opinion of your friends.

Hmm, I didn't get many comments on my karmic debt to my brother-in-law though.

Cheers all

purple_scorp

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sthenri
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From: Generic New England City
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posted September 30, 2004 09:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
Purple_Scorp, I wanted to say about Guilt, I have a Cancer moon and guilt is something I see in other people. Their feelings tend to resonate with me and I find it hard to separate them from my own. I have learned to detach, but I felt strongly that this man has unfinished business with his ex. Guilt can drive anyone with a strong Cancer influence up the wall, he may not be able to sleep, eat, think of anything else when the guilt hits.

Cancer rules memory, and so Cancer suns especially have strong visual and sensory memories. I have met a few Cancers who had post traumatic stress disorder. Others get this condition of course, but with Cancers it's much more obvious.

Cancers are sensitive to past events, and that maybe why you feel so strongly towards him. His feelings reach out to you. If he can get past his ex, he may be equally devoted to you.

But as a Cancer Moon I can say it takes a long time, I especially recommend getting rid of all photographs. It was unhealthy for him to show you pictures of his ex, that brings up too many hurts.

A Pisces once told me to throw out every photo and keep the negatives. I did that with my ex and it's the only way I could end it. That and getting rid of every stick of furniture we had together. If I saw one letter or card, I would start crying and call him.

I can't tell you how many relationships I backed out of because of a photo, or card that reminded me of my ex.

The urge to look at photos is very strong, and once you look, it's all over. Eventually he will realize this, but he will have to get hurt again.

Cancers need to get to the bottom of their feelings alone to really work things out because they are so in tune with everyone else.

Take Care,
Natasha
Taurus

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sthenri
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From: Generic New England City
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posted September 30, 2004 09:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
Key, while I liked Sex and the City very much, especially Samantha, I wouldn't watch it for advice on men, the reason is I grew up with so many cousins and uncles I feel I know men pretty well. That and most of my chart is fire, and ruled by Pluto and Mars. There are deep and not so deep reasons for men not calling, but I prefer the deeper ones. Having been married twice and dated continuously I think that men are just as neurotic about women not calling.

Men will walk up to a woman they don't know and bump into her, or just smile. Most women are afraid, freeze up, and then when a man does make a move, they read too much into it. The trick I think is to lose that fear, and keep trying. If a woman bumps into a man she feels like a failure, whereas a man is taught to be flexible and make the most of the opportunity. Women tend to have less confidence in their ability to keep someone's interest when they take the initiative because they are taught submissive actions are more attractive.

They believe this unconciously. But mature men find women who are assertive more attractive.

Men are taught to be more unemotional about dating, and they are taught to be more assertive about finding someone new if things aren't working out. And who teaches them? Their mothers! That is the mother's revenge on other women.

Mother's of sons are usually not interested in seeing their sons with one woman, so they always encourage them to "Shop around". Daughters on the other hand are expected to stay home, so they are encouraged to "Not be too Picky"

How many times have you heard a girlfriend tell you not to be so Picky? There is more of that going around then the "Shop around" message. Of course that is only true for traditional types.

If my cousin is dating a 15yrd old girl and he's ten year's older it's considered cute. But if my 28yrd old cousin wants to date a younger man, she gets a different message.

Women are taught their actions mean more to society as they bear the burden of motherhood and social responsibility. The more they take this on, the less interested men are as they feel they are not needed on that front. I don't think we can force men to call, but by not taking on that role of worrying, we do force the man to think about his role in the relationship.

Men are in general, very good at parenting, mothering, and want to be loved as much as women. But these instincts do not appear when the other part is playing the part of "the one who knows best" If a woman acts as if she is the responsible one, the man will act clueless because he wants to be what she wants him to be. He will play that part unconciously.

If a woman acts clueless, immediately the man acts as the responsible party in the relationship. Unconciously people play out the roles they are used to. I find that where the mother is a social cllimber, the man's relationship with women is pretty rigidly defined by what other people think.

The best relationships with men, happen with the best men. It's like cooking, you need good ingredients at the start. Take a man who had parents who loved him without criticism, who is happy with his life because he feels significant in his own right, doesn't drink, wouldn't you say he had a good chance? If the parents are both drinkers, social climbers, newly rich, and cling to the son, that's a bad sign.

The entire relationship is up to a combination of circumstances, fate, and both people.

Personally I look at the mother and how clingy she is, if there is a clingy neurotic mother, then there is a man who chose clingy neurotic women in the past and they will haunt him. It's very tough to lose those mistakes if the man believes they will haunt him forever.

I have known incredibly bright, social, intelligent, self made men, who destroyed every relationship with a woman. The mother was always unhappy, and felt let down by her son and husband.

What is weird is the way a woman will know everything about a man sexually, and financially but will never ask about his family????
That's not smart.

A healthy action is letting go to start your own family, with confidence and a willingness to take chances.

We all have the ability to share our confidence with others, but when we feel inadequate we can't share, we become afraid and freeze up.

So that's my theory, true or not.
Natasha/Taurus/6
Cancer Moon/8th
Mars/1st Sag

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KarenSD
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From: San Diego CA USA
Registered: Sep 2004

posted September 30, 2004 12:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for KarenSD     Edit/Delete Message
sthenri, that last post blows me away. Truths.

THANK YOU for your words, wise friend.

Funny how we learn EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Many thanks.

Take care,
KarenSD

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astro junkie
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posted September 30, 2004 01:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astro junkie     Edit/Delete Message
I know Karen - Natasha is great and very insightful. She needs a prayer or two as well, as far as meeting a good man goes.

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key
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posted September 30, 2004 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for key     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Natasha -

I usually just skim through most of the replies/posts. Just want you to know that I read your above response twice. I like everything that you said.

I read mostly, sometimes respond, sometimes ask questions. I have noticed that you are usually the "giver" on this website. Nice of you. Hope you have an especially nice weekend.

Love,
Key

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purple_scorp
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From: Australia
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posted September 30, 2004 08:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for purple_scorp     Edit/Delete Message
Hello Natasha and thank you for putting so much energy into your reply. You are very warm and welcoming. I am sending you some light in return.

Well, this man has Cancer sun, Ascending and Mercury; and Neptune in Scorpio. I have four planets (Sun, Merc, Venus & Nep) in Scorp; and MC in Cancer. We both have Chiron in Pisces. Thatís a lot of water in our combined charts. All of that intuition and emotion.

Geographically, we live three states apart. I live in one state, he lives in another and there is one state in between. We met in this neutral state and spent almost 24 hours together. Things were really good between us, until he showed me photos of his ex life/wife, and this was like in the last couple of hours that we were together. He even told me that he felt very close to me.

The irony is that I actually told him to bring photos or anything else that might show me more about him. He told me that heíd brought every single photo that he owned. LOL. You are right about the Cancer memory. It was interesting to watch his face, his smile, his eyes, his body language - as he showed me photos and told me of his childhood and teenage years, and he explained in detail about his friends and what they are doing now.

There seemed to be a lot of photos (at least 70) of the family home that he renovated. He separated about a month before and had to return to complete the renovation so that he could put the house on the market for sale. So he didnít really get to live in the finished house. Yes, there are so many unresolved issues there. He feels his life of happiness was stolen from him. He said that they had everything and she threw it all away.

I donít know why he has kept those photos of his ex-wife, or why he brought them to show me. Maybe he was as shocked at his reaction as I was. I kept asking him questions, maybe nobody else has ever done this to him before. I told him in an email that I thought it was odd that we had the same first name (his ex-wife and I). As if that wasnít a smack in the face enough for him. I really think I jolted him into reality and hopefully, heíll now deal with the feelings that have been uncovered.

Natasha, it was interesting what you said about the advice that is so often given to us "Not be too Picky". I have had this from a couple of friends, though it was more in the context that I was too picky (as in past tense).

I am quite happy with my life and I donít need a man to complete me. I am not going to have a relationship just for the sake of being with someone. That is not me. If that was me, then I would have stayed in my dead-end marriage. Some people just donít get that about me.

Society pigeon-holes us all into couples. If we donít have a partner, then there must be something wrong with us. When I told my own mother that I was separating from my ex, she asked me if Iíd found another man. NO, NO, NO. Iíd found me, which is much more important.

I truly believe that people come into your life for a reason. Just because he was a soul mate, doesnít mean that I was meant to have a romantic relationship with him.

Thanks to everyone for their comments and insight. I feel a lot better about it now.

Regards

purple_scorp

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lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 2688
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted September 30, 2004 11:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Purple Scorp
That cerainly sounds like a lot of coincidences to me. This is not your soul mate, if it was not hell or high water could keep you apart. You would share a lot of the same thoughts and what you would be thinking about would come out of his mouth and vice versa. Most importantly he would be feeling this also. Cancer is going through a lot of karmic issues right now as Saturn is transiting that sign. I'm not saying there is no karma there very well could be because something brought you together.
Your soul mate is still out there looking for you. Chin up dear, he'll find you.

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Aphrodite
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Posts: 4928
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted October 01, 2004 12:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
hi purple_scorp,

"What if your soul mate doesn't recognise you?"

i don't have an example like yours to share within a romantic context. but i do have a scorpio dad. i didn't grow up with him and have an estranged relationship.

ever since we separated when i was a kid, he kept track of where i was and what i may be doing. incognito, so to speak. i never knew, and didn't care b/c i didn't feel a connection.

when we talked on the phone and met for the first time last year, he was very emotional and opened up many things. we continued to talk on the phone after meeting, but i just didn't feel a connection - at all. he was very convinced that he was my dad and wanted to talk whenever he called.

from where i was at - i did not feel anything, and was overwhelmed by all the data he was giving me. he had A LOT. listening felt like work. i backed off and stopped answering the phone. turned cold and just did not want to pursue a dead communication.

so a year went by and he turned down the volume, so to speak. still nothing happened on my end.

then he called again earlier this week. i was stressed out about many things and thought to myself, "if he really believes in all the stuff he's been saying all along - let's see if he ready to get on the plate and be a dad." so i unloaded a lot of personal issues - blind trust and a test to him.

you know what? i was pretty surprised that he did well and earned my respect. not only that, but he helped me out on a few subconscious things that i didn't understand how to deal with.

if you firmly believe, ms. scorpio . . . you are sensing something extremely sensitive on the radar that may be he can't pick up immediately yet. or may be he has, is overwhelmed and just doesn't know what to say.

thanks for listening to my dad story, btw

aphrodite

aries sun
capricorn moon
cancer rising
& lots of water in her chart

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pixelpixie
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Posts: 5129
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted October 01, 2004 01:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
I hope you don't mind.. this Scorpio listened too.

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purple_scorp
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Posts: 432
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2004

posted October 01, 2004 10:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for purple_scorp     Edit/Delete Message
Hello lalalinda and aphrodite.

You know, I had forgotten some more coincidences from that list. This man looked almost identical to the form that my spirit guide has manifested himself to me in. (I've known my spirit guide for over five years now.) My spirit guide's name is Max and, when I met this guy (soul mate) he was telling me a story how he'd just that day written a letter to a labourer (friend) of his to tell him he had to let him go, because he felt his employee was using him. His name was Max.

Hmm, lalalinda I am pretty sure he is one of many of my soul mates. According to the list of dates derived from my birthdate (in that other thread), I have many soul mates (there were 18 different birth dates listed).

I've been reading a lot about soul mates, twin souls and twin flames. I don't think he was a twin, just a plain, old soul mate. I had read that sometimes one soul mate is more ready than the other - so when they meet, one is sleeping. As one friend put it, well, you've now kissed him awake, the rest it out of your control.

The other thing that I've read and been told is that just because they are a soul mate, doesn't mean that you will have a relationship, or even a friendship with them. Maybe their agreement before this incarnation was just to check up on you and see that you were doing okay.

Lalalinda, I agree that if he was awake and spiritually at the same place as me, then we both would have experienced those things that you wrote about. And, yes, I believe that there is another soul mate out there that is more suited to me at this time. And I will continue to look, and we will share all that you wrote about.

Hello aphrodite. What a beautiful story you have. Well I can tell you firsthand as a Scorpion parent, we are very protective of our offspring. Also very determined - so full credit to your father for having the persistence to keep trying with you.

How brave of you to finally open your heart to trust this man. I hope that you can find a connection now and that you both receive some love and light to guide you on the way.

I think you are correct with the overwhelming analogy. As well as my four planets in Scorp, I have an Aries moon, sometimes I'm like a dog with a bone when I believe something.

I like to look at situations and see the lesson to help me grow. Though Scorpions are very emotional, they usually keep their inner feelings to themselves - it's that secrecy component in their character. But I was pulled like a magnet to this guy and I followed my heart, whereas I usually follow my head. Another Scorpion trait is that we have long memories and we don't readily forgive. So, I had locked away my heart from a previous hurt.

So, what did this person teach me? That I could open and follow my heart and survive.

Thank you all for reading, listening to, and commenting on, my story.

purple_scorp

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Lynx
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Posts: 486
From: Brooklyn, New York, United States
Registered: Apr 2004

posted October 05, 2004 02:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lynx     Edit/Delete Message
OK, I haven't read the entire thread. This is just me talking out of my butt.

As somebody who's had their share of soulmates that haven't recognized me. I think now, it's really not important that our soulmates recognize us. We recognize them so that the lessons and experiences they add to our lives will hold a much higher significance in our minds and our souls. If they saw us the way we see them, the lesson would change.

I'd say that without the soulmates I've had, I would not have sought the spirituality that I have, my skin would not be as thick as it is and my heart would not be as strong as it's become. I enjoy my soulmates for the time I have them, because i can never be certain as to when they'll move on.

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vinita
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Posts: 126
From: Mumbai, India
Registered: Apr 2004

posted October 28, 2004 06:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vinita     Edit/Delete Message
robert was linda's twin self....he knew it...n so many other mysteries too!!!
he still left despite everything...remember we are given the choice of free will...also its really painful wen one of the twin soul is not aware or sleeping...the lesson becomes longer...more lives are needed...it was very smart of u to try n explain all this to him...
now it all really depends...
one more thing can u plz plz plz plz tell me who matched ur horoscopes for twin souls n that karmic debt thing.....i really need it....plz plz plz

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purple_scorp
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Posts: 432
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2004

posted October 28, 2004 06:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for purple_scorp     Edit/Delete Message
Hello vinita,

I found both of them here in different threads.

The birthdays match one is based on dates in a book owned by two different members. If you post your birthdate, they'll look it up for you (or they may have already posted your date). Here's the thread:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/001055.html

The destiny website was in another thread here - it is:
http://7thunders.com/FreeReading/Readings.php

good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for.

purple_scorp

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