posted March 12, 2005 06:13 PM         

Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Leo 27°22'35 12 direct
Moon Aquarius 18°41'50 06 direct
Mercury Virgo 15°16'38 01 direct
Venus Virgo 07°30'09 01 retrograde
Mars Gemini 03°45'33 10 direct
Jupiter Aries 24°38'22 08 retrograde
Saturn Cancer 27°05'21 11 direct
Uranus Libra 29°13'01 03 direct
Neptune Sagittarius 09°01'21 04 stationary (D)
Pluto Libra 07°34'32 02 direct
True Node Scorpio 26°22'27 03 retrograde

posted March 12, 2005 06:14 PM         

Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Cancer 26°40'16 10 direct
Moon Libra 15°21'40 01 direct
Mercury Cancer 15°44'53 10 retrograde
Venus Gemini 18°43'43 09 direct
Mars Libra 04°47'33 01 direct
Jupiter Virgo 09°11'11 12 direct
Saturn Virgo 22°51'39 12 direct
Uranus Scorpio 21°33'11 02 retrograde
Neptune Sagittarius 20°22'56 03 retrograde
Pluto Libra 19°05'03 01 direct
True Node Leo 20°25'06 11 direct

posted March 13, 2005 08:42 AM         

This is absolutely fine, it's even better than the charts themselves because I know the orbs... I don't consider orbs wider than 3Ί for angular positions or 1.2Ί for declinations...

Before I can dare to interpret anything I need the position of Chiron and the declinations... You can get them from www.astro.com

posted March 14, 2005 03:32 AM         

Here is the data, is the format ok or would you rather I email it? thanx so much steelrose, you have no idea what it means to me, altho this is just a couple of charts, but these people are like MAJORLY affecting my life right now, my peace of mine, and everything! Anytime you can get to it is fine

ME:
Chiron in 9th house, Gem (1'22'')
True Node: Taurus (7'52)

My Declinations:
Planet Longitude house Speed Latitude Declination
A Sun c 11°19’14" 9 57’27" 0° 0’ 0" S 22° 8’25" N
B Moon h 23°55’14" 2 14°53’22" 0°31’52" S 19°16’12" S
C Mercury c 4°23’ 7" 8 2° 7’49" 0°11’35" S 20°49’58" N
D Venus a 26° 2’52" 7 51’48" 2° 6’36" S 8° 5’38" N
E Mars c 24°57’16" 9 40’17" 0°48’ 1" N 24° 8’46" N
F Jupiter k 16°56’58") 5 34" 0°38’20" S 16°22’ 1" S
G Saturn h 23°34’41"# 2 - 4’ 9" 2°20’28" N 16°24’ 8" S
O Uranus i 16°11’25"# 3 - 2’27" 0° 1’40" S 22°45’15" S
I Neptune j 2°48’46"# 3 - 1’28" 1° 9’49" N 22°14’59" S
J Pluto h 2°21’25"# 1 - 1’12" 17° 8’37" N 3°50’25" N
K Mean Node b 17° 6’15" 8 - 3’10" 0° 0’ 0" N 16°56’41" N
L True Node b 18° 7’52" 8 - 25" 0° 0’ 0" N 17°13’58" N
N Chiron c 9° 1’22" 9 4’42" 4° 8’51" S 17°42’23" N
Houses (Plac.) Declination
Asc. g 6°55’58" 2°45’ 9" S
2 h 4°29’32" 13° 1’12" S
3 i 5° 6’18" 21° 9’12" S
IC j 7°33’35" 23°13’37" S
5 k 9°57’32" 17°45’17" S
6 l 10°13’43" 7°44’ 3" S
Desc. a 6°55’58" 2°45’ 9" N
8 b 4°29’32" 13° 1’12" N
9 c 5° 6’18" 21° 9’12" N
MC d 7°33’35" 23°13’37" N
11 e 9°57’32" 17°45’17" N
12 f 10°13’43" 7°44’ 3" N

EX BF:
Chiron in 7th house, Aries (59'56'')
True Node: Scorpio (22'27)

His Declinations:
Planet Longitude house Speed Latitude Declination
A Sun e 27°22’35" 12 57’44" 0° 0’ 1" N 12°23’ 4" N
B Moon k 18°41’50" 6 12° 5’11" 4°56’58" N 10°30’41" S
C Mercury f 15°16’38" 1 1°38’ 0" 0°41’44" N 6°26’37" N
D Venus f 7°30’ 9"# 1 - 32’12" 7°45’37" S 1°32’37" N
E Mars c 3°45’33" 10 35’56" 1°13’ 0" S 19°42’34" N
F Jupiter a 24°38’22"# 8 - 1’14" 1°29’16" S 8° 9’43" N
G Saturn d 27° 5’21" 11 7’ 5" 0° 0’55" N 20°45’27" N
O Uranus g 29°13’ 1" 3 2’13" 0°30’14" N 10°43’31" S
I Neptune i 9° 1’21"( 4 - 1" 1°33’22" N 20°16’ 0" S
J Pluto g 7°34’32" 2 1’52" 16°26’11" N 12° 4’52" N
K Mean Node h 26°18’32" 3 - 3’10" 0° 0’ 0" N 19°19’44" S
L True Node h 26°22’27" 3 - 13’36" 0° 0’ 0" N 19°20’39" S
N Chiron a 27°59’56"# 9 - 1’ 0" 0°28’45" N 11°12’38" N
Houses (Plac.) Declination
Asc. f 2°38’19" 10°32’ 5" N
2 f 28°11’ 0" 0°43’21" N
3 g 27°48’ 3" 10°41’33" S
IC i 0°12’36" 20°11’47" S
5 j 2°55’13" 23°24’32" S
6 k 3°59’ 5" 19°15’36" S
Desc. l 2°38’19" 10°32’ 5" S
8 l 28°11’ 0" 0°43’21" S
9 a 27°48’ 3" 10°41’33" N
MC c 0°12’36" 20°11’47" N
11 d 2°55’13" 23°24’32" N
12 e 3°59’ 5" 19°15’36" N

BF'S GF:
Chiron in 8th house, Taurus (42'52'')
True Node: Leo (25'6, d)

posted March 16, 2005 02:27 AM         

I am younger and considered prettier than his gf, we did used to have good chemistry and strikingly similar ideas about everything from marriage to politics and religion, and good communication, but I don't think that is helping any? Are his aspects with her too strong to be overcome? Is there any reading you can do regarding that matter? I would be so grateful

This is my second Leo that is driving me crazy (aah!). Can't let him get away.

posted March 21, 2005 03:09 AM         

any input would be much much appreciated thank you all so much

posted April 03, 2005 01:31 AM         

How's it going? Did you ever find out why your relationship with the ex was the way it was? Is that the one you were with before you got married? How're you dealing with the fact that he has a gf now? It must be so painful, i feel for you! God, it sure sucks, doesn't it, to not end up marrying the guy you're so in love with? I'm SO scared that the love of my life will meet someone else while I'm not with him!

I'm still struggling with my situation here. After grappling with the pros and cons for a while now, I've come to the decision that I absolutely HAVE to get out of this marriage; it is not right for me and i cannot see myself ever settling into it. I've read and re-read the emails from my Pisces ex, and he is SUCH a gem of a guy that any girl would be a fool to give him up. He's been there for me through thick & thin, very thoughtful & loving & giving, and he'd been so persistent all the times I'd told him that I didn't think I could be with him (because of family & other worries); he's had faith enough for two! In hiw own sweet Piscean way, he'd write me these long emails imploring me not to give up on 'us', that he felt with every fiber of his being that we belong together. Now I see it too, much more clearly than last year, when I had so much pressure on me to get married. God, how I wish had cancelled the wedding!!

These days, I can't get him out of my head. I turn on the radio, and oftentimes, it seems that every other song is from "our list". I watch TV, and every angsty relationship I see, reminds me of our situation. I can't stop thinking about him, ever, it's like I'm obsessed! I'm SUCH a sucker for his sensitive Pisces nature; my Venus in Pisces just loves it, and he has always treated me like a princess. I have a MAJOR craving for him. Sigh...

So, now I'm trying to compose myself and figure out how I'll explain it to my parents (about why I want out of a 11-month marriage to a nice guy, as they all see him), and deal with their heartache over it, not to mention my husband's, and his family's. Though, before even I get there, I'll have so much convincing to do. I'm worried that my mother'll once again talk me into staying. She seems to have so much power over me, and I empathize with her to the point that I've let it change my decisions (like every time I had decided to pursue a relationship with the Pisces, I'd end up putting it on hold, deciding to swallow my pain rather than hurt her). I'm really worried now, about her reaction to this, since I've never done anything major that she disagreed with. I've decided that this time I'm going to be strong and stand up for what I want, but I still worry that she might sway me anyhow. SG, however did you get your mother supporting your getting divorced? (Culturally it's a huge deal, I know). Did you ever panic about whether you'd ever marry again (I seem to remember your thread about not wanting marriage)? I panic about what if things work out badly once I get out (it's almost like a superstitious fear, that i'll be 'punished' for treating something sacred with little respect - though, I realize almost immediately that it's better to get out of a dead-end marriage than stay in it and suffer). SIGH. Life's SO complicated right now.

posted April 03, 2005 01:39 AM         

You mentioned that you and he agreed on all sorts of things from marriage to politics, in addition to the chemistry, and I would think that those factors are better for the long haul.

posted April 03, 2005 11:40 PM         

no i haven't heard anything from anyone regarding this...

i saw steelrose posting last weekend in the forum, but she didn't reply to my posts in this thread, im guessing shes too busy or doesnt want to do it anymore

thanks for ur support sunshine

posted April 11, 2005 08:53 AM         

Sorry for such a long wait. I have been really busy over the last month and a half... I promised to have a look to your, your ex’s and your ex’s girlfriend’s charts for you... I hope you understand this takes a few hours of analysis... I didn’t want to do a bodge job so I had to look at it closely and think about it...

Before you read anything, just consider that I’m just learning... and Astrology is about probabilities, tendencies and interpretation of chances. There is nothing set in stone... Please, be positive about what I’m about to tell you... Sometimes the worse things that happen to us now may well be our greatest blessings for the future.

Let’s see...

You and him have a Cinderella superlinkage: Your Venus conjuncts his Chiron (already linking his Sun through a trine) very closely. Cinderella linkages are necessary for marriage: sharing one with someone doesn’t mean you forcibly will marry him but there is a great chance of it... Plus the fact that, without one, chances of marriage decrease greatly... And you know what? He and his girlfriend do not share any...

Venus-Chiron linkages are called magical in Magi Astrology. It’s the most powerful and beneficial of the romantic linkages. They show a special bond.

However, there are other powerful connections undermining your chances of a happy long-term relationship: Your Chiron squares his Venus, which has the opposite effect. That is a relationship breaker, it creates a permanent barrier. Both of you struggle between the force that brings you romantically together and the one that drives you apart... A marriage between you would be possible but tumultuous and restless, splitting up and going back together constantly... A bit of a nighmare... You fight what you really tend to as a couple...

That negative aspect is worsened by the fact that it forms a T-Square involving the most important planets for romance and long term relationships... Your Chiron (marriage) opposes his Neptune (long-term) exactly, and both square his Venus (love)... That shows an earthquake-like kind of relationship...

His Venus receives all the tension of the pattern and channels it:

quote:

---

The tension and awareness created by the two planets in opposition must be resolved by the planet receiving the double square.

---

Maybe the breaking point comes when he can’t love you enough to overcome the tension and goes away... (Just a guess)

To help you out a little bit and ease that destructive tension, you share two Silver Linkages (Your Venus conjuncts and is parallel to his Jupiter). Those promote peace and harmony and reduces the stress levels in a relationship.

You are powerful and successful together, your relationship fights to remain: Your Chiron trines his Pluto.

You two also share a Cupid Linkage (Your Venus trines his Sun). That shows a very powerful mutual attraction. Venus (you) feels it much more than the Sun, so you are more attatched by that attraction than he is.

posted April 11, 2005 08:58 AM         

Regarding to his and his girlfriend's relationship, it does seem much smoother. But they also have a Nuclear clash and a Chiron activation (his Chiron squares her Sun) with no Cinderella linkages. Their relationship is not likely to end up in marriage if that makes you feel a bit better... I can't see any special bonds that would make a relationship magical either...

Is he really worth the pain he's causing you? At the end of the day, Free Will is more powerful than Fate... You two could fight against the T-Square and the Saturn clashes... But what you need to think is if it's really worth it... Maybe those are just astrological, call them divine if you prefer, signs for you to know that he is not for you... and someone else is on store That's up to you, sweetie...

Sorry again for taking so long...

posted April 11, 2005 09:20 PM         

i am really crushing hard on this one other guy, but he is of a different culture (bad bad! our families would probably never accept it), although the same religion, and although hes always flirting with me im not sure if he could be serious about it. well i havent even asked his date of birth becoz for the first time i wanted to fall in love first and find out who it is SECOND, so that i can see if i really do have a bias towards certain signs or is it just natural attraction

but lets see, if he is strong enough to take a stand for me, i will be willing to do it for him! but right now the relationship is really just in its fun stage, and i dont want to disrupt that lets see if he makes the first serious move!

wish me luck

posted April 11, 2005 11:31 PM         

quote:

---

I'll have so much convincing to do. I'm worried that my mother'll once again talk me into staying. She seems to have so much power over me, and I empathize with her to the point that I've let it change my decisions (like every time I had decided to pursue a relationship with the Pisces, I'd end up putting it on hold, deciding to swallow my pain rather than hurt her). I'm really worried now, about her reaction to this

---

quote:

---

almost like a superstitious fear, that i'll be 'punished' for treating something sacred with little respect

---

His Venus trine your Pluto orb 3 – Evidence of a deep karmic bond from numerous past associations. This aspect reveals the possibility of Soul Mates. Soul Mates are fully absorbed in the other, and may experience extreme tension when your emotions can’t be fully expressed. With any of these three aspects (conjunct, sextile, trine) you will meet involuntarily, and cannot be separated on Earth except for temporary periods.

posted April 12, 2005 09:32 PM         

Make sure you get it straight what you are going to say, and get the support of the Pisces in advance. It goes without saying, he needs to be emotionally and physically available without any girlfirend of any kind for a while before you leave, and you are both considering living together I am sure, but make sure he is on the same page as you. It maybe a good idea to get into some counselling together to talk. You can't take it for granted everything will be okay.

If you two fall apart a few months later you will be devastated, so consider my words.

posted April 13, 2005 11:40 PM         

Thank you both for your kind words of advice; I really appreciate them especially now, as I'm going through the some of the most agonizing times I've ever been through. Aza, you're totally right about my hyper-sensitivity to my mother; she's been swaying me again recently! It amazes me how much we clash, seeing as we used to have the best relationship ever, before all this stuff happened. Lately, we've been disagreeing so much on how to handle problems in a marriage, because she's mostly old-school ("best not to go for the pain of a divorce, unless you're being abused or cheated on; you can always make it work for you" -type idealogy), and i don't believe so much in suffering it out if you really can't make it work for you - why ruin your life & someone else's, right?; but, it's tough as heck to have to keep hearing her side all the time.

My parents have been wondering why I've been miserable ever since I got married last year, and since the Scorpio has been nicer lately, and trying to change, they feel that i'm being unnecessarily nitpicky, and unhappy for no reason. I haven't yet worked up to telling them the real reason i'm unhappy here & want out, because i don't feel strong enough yet to be able to stand up under the weight of all that is sure to come from her, and I really don't want a repeat of what happened when I last tried & ended up married. It just won't do this time, to give in to that self-sacrificing Venus in Pisces nature I've got. Aza, I wasn't at all offended by what you said, sweetie; i did make those vows because i felt there was no way out; I was trying to do what would make most people happy. I tried so hard to apply myself to this and make it mine, since I didn't think i had much of a choice, but over the past few months, i've seen that it's so much harder than i thought; I can't even picture spending next month here with my husband, let alone the rest of my life, while I can't imagine one without my Piscean! My first thought even now, whenever something happens to me, is to call him and tell him, then I remember... Sigh... And yet, arguing with my mother about this, and feeling sick of the constant tension can get me thinking, what if i just gave in... everyone (well, most everyone would be happy, and it'd be harmonious again - Danger zone.

Isn't it just wrong that I'm more worried about her reaction to this, so much more than even my husband? My chart must be really afflicted, or maybe I have some weird connection with my mother's chart that's causing this dynamic... I sought out a counselor today (that was good advice, Natasha), and poured out my woes to her, and i think that with some help, i'll should be better able to sort out my issues with my mother first, so that it will empower me to set my own life right by myself, with or without her approval. I pray it doesn't take me too long to get there; it does seem to be getting harder as days creep by, Natasha, you're right. I know i have to explain my real issues with the marriage to my husband, once I sort things a bit better.

As for the Pisces, he has been available all this time, but of late, we've been less in touch as he's been having a very rough time, struggling with doubts about me making it out, and with the pain from all the hurt it has caused him too. I really hope & pray that he is able to deal with it, and that he will realize once again, that we are perhaps truly meant to be, as he has felt several times before. Aza, your description of 'Venus trine Pluto' (Soul Mate aspect, where you can't be separated but for temporary periods) couldn't have come at a better time, love; it feels like balm to my aching heart. I'm holding on to it, and more positive thoughts, and trying to keep the faith.

posted April 14, 2005 08:43 PM         

I feel for Venus in Pisces very much as I have several friends with this placement, and they usually get swayed by Scorpios for some reason, they are not happy as they feel dependent. I think it's a tough relationship to make work because the Venus in Pisces ends up feeling more like a family member than a lover, and there is an inequality. It could be that your husband feels more like family to you, since you colour him in your mind with your mother's feelings.

I had the same issue when I got married (Libra with tons of Scorpio), he was a lot like my mother because I was listening to her at the time. then she told me once that he was too much like her and I didn't have to go through with it. She only interfered directly when she couldn't stay with us, but she as a Scorpio, always geared me towards her choices. I tend to have the same problem as Venus in Pisces where I am emotionally swayed by Scorpios, and people with a lot of Scorpio influence, even the things I buy are more for Scorpios when I am with one.

It's very strange, but I am sure Scorpio people have a strong family vibe to them, so that you pick up on the need to be taken care of from them, and it feels attractive. It's probably true that your mother influenced you and that's not strange, or weak minded. Most people end up marrying a parent figure or someone their parents approve of, not everyone is happy though.

Just philosophize with your mother and remind her that nobody is 100% happy in ANY relationship and a marriage is a relationship that has to make both of you happy, and you are not happy day to day. And it's not up to you to make it work, just because there is no abuse, you are filled with pain and that's self abuse, and right now you need her support to get through it.

I would not tell your husband about this other man, and I wouldn't tell your mother either, but that's just me. I feel it may be too much for your husband and he could crack.

Actually if you leave you may find your feelings are different but that's not a bad thing, just give yourself space and room to breathe, the Pisces will take care of himself.

I my case I ended up staying and flirted around another man anyway causing my ex and I pain and misunderstanding and we had several bad fights that ended up with me giving financially so that he would leave. I never gave up on the other man even though I knew that my ex and I were soulmates. But the abuse got so bad because I felt overwhelmed and needed forgiveness. So I do not think things will get better with time, from reading your story, but again all this is coloured by my chart. The other guy was an Aqua.

I have a Cancer Moon and Neptune in the 12th, so I am very watery. Emotions are key for me too, and I can't live in a bad place emotionally, it's like a little death everyday. Be true to yourself, but see your counsellor,

posted April 16, 2005 08:44 AM         

I do feel that way with the Scorpio; i think i tend to associate being with him with some sort of family obligation (of course, marriage is like that, but shouldn't there should be more to it than just duty/obligation?) He's the choice they approved of, so here I am. I've been doing most of what I have to do in my role here almost mechanically, since it's expected of me from all quarters, and makes everyone else happy; but my heart's not in it. Inside, it's like a part of me died when i had to give up my true love. Inside, I haven't accepted this at all; something in me keeps telling me it isn't over with the Pisces; it can't be. I don't feel like we're done. It's like he used to tell me every time i had tried to break up, 'i don't know if it's just me or God, but something tells me that it isn't over'. All those times, it was i who'd wanted us to part ways (thinking it wouldn't work), while he kept working on me to reconsider, so this time, with him wanting some space to heal & figure things out, it's so very painful for me. Perhaps I'm going through this so that I can empathize more with him, and the pain he underwent each time I'd taken a step back from 'us'. I wish so much I could take him to counseling too, Natasha, (that sounds like a really good idea), but we're in two different states now, so it's physically impossible. I don't know how to help him through this now. The only way I can fight for him and us, I think, is by getting out and going back there to get him back. Easier said...

I think the counseling should help me be strong enough to deal with objections that come from my family, and finally do what I really want to do... at least i really, really, really hope so. Pray for me...

posted April 17, 2005 07:45 PM         

For some reason since then, I have tremendous empathy for Aquarius men and we make great friends. They touch my life in so many ways because of my trust, if you really trust someone it's unique, how often can you really trust yourself to love someone?

So, I could not get back to the Aqua although he called, the LIbra answered. I felt incredibly guilty and stayed out of that, now the Libra still tries to work the guilt a bit, but the worst of it is that he was very cold physically to punish me.

I would think that comes from his Venus in Virgo, and Scorpio ruled Ascendant, Mercury and Neptune conjunct in Scorpio. I am very much like a Scorpio myself, with Pluto trine Sun, and an 8th house Moon so I can relate to what you say about your mother. I also had a hard time with my mother my entire life and never got her support to leave until she actually saw him slap me once. However, after I left if I mentioned trouble, she would remind me how it was my decision.

I would count on support at the time of the break, but get more support from others the year after, even with the Pisces it is a little tough.

Good Luck to you and your Pisces. remind him that you will need a few months to get clear, but you owe that to him so you can both focus on eachother, you both deserve happiness.

posted April 24, 2005 11:29 PM         

I'm doing a bit better these days; it's sweet of you to ask! Though, i haven't made that much progress toward actually getting out yet... i realized that the biggest issue holding me back right now is this too-strong tie with my mother; this is what held me back all those times I had decided to move forward with him - I'd meet resistance from her, and end up taking two steps back instead. So, I've been seeing a counselor here to get some help working thru those issues. My mother's actually visiting me this week, and i'm getting a chance to test out my new resolve with her, and trying to be more assertive about things; i feel things are a bit different now that I'm at least aware of the pattern. I think that once I clear up this block i have, i should be able to speak up about my decision that i have made, and actually move towards it. (I worry that talking to her before i'm stronger will give her more power to talk me out of it, so i've still not told her my real reasons yet).

I haven't been in touch with him, my Pisces ex, for nearly 3 weeks now, and it's killing me! I keep remembering back to this time last year, when we were SO in love with each other, when i had decided to call off the wedding. He'd said to me then, "You belong to me; come back to me", and had slipped an engraved slab into my pocket before I left, that said "What you would attempt to do if you knew if you could not fail?" Oh God, what WOULDN'T I do...

I wonder how he's feeling these days... and am praying hard that he doesn't give up on me yet. The counselor thinks though, that it's a good idea for us to not be in touch right now, so i can make sure i'm focusing just on what i want, and not what everybody else wants. But, you know, in quiet moments, I find myself really missing him and wishing hard for a time when we will be with each other once again; this is what I really want more than anything. Even a week ago, I came across something online we used to joke about, and immediately had the urge to send it to him, and then i remembered. I find myself thinking of him so often, it's too often to count. We've always had such strong ties to each other; psychic sort of ties... we could always tell what the other was feeling; perhaps this is due to our double-Psyche link (my Psyche tightly conjunct his Moon, and his Psyche tightly conjunct my Sun). Loving each other came so naturally to the both of us. With all the other separations, we found our way back to each other, like being together was the most natural thing in the world (reminds me of that Venus-Pluto trine you'd described, 'zala). I don't think such ties can be broken easily, right?

posted April 25, 2005 02:25 AM         

quote:

---

I keep getting told that i should stay or leave based solely on my relationship with the husband... is having feelings for someone else (esp. seeing that I've had them for much longer than the marriage) not reason enough to leave?

---

posted May 11, 2005 01:08 AM         

I've been away for a bit, and am back now. Thanks so much for writing in!

Oh gosh, Pix, when you put it that way "who do you see by your side in 5 years", it's SO clear to me - my Piscean love is the only one i can see my future with! It's becoming clear as day to me that i cannot stay in this, feeling this way about my ex.

'zala, I've been going to counseling for a few sessions now, and it's helping me SO much to have the help of someone; it keeps me focused, and i'm much better at dealing with my mother. I've decided to talk things out with my husband, and make this decision just between the two of us, rather than waiting for my mother's approval. I know it'll be very hard when i tell her, so in the meantime, i'm working on getting stronger.

posted May 15, 2005 12:59 AM         

All the same, when i think about it, i realize that i cannot put my feelings on hold either, and just continue this way to make them all happy (like a typical Venus in Pisces) - doing that would mean dying inside (that's how i'd feel if i had to live with having finally let go of the opportunity to pursue such a relationship as i had with my Pisces). They're also not satisfied when i'm obviously unhappy in the marriage. At times, I realize that the only thing to do is to get out, the sooner the better. (My mother's already started trying to convince me that there's no time like the present to start having kids! ) It may hurt them now, but it will all work out for the best ultimately, right? (I'm dreading telling them once I get my husband to agree - i just know my mother's going to keep at me for the reason, and then she'll nag me to death to try to change my mind. She just can't seem to accept my decisions when she disagrees with them; i feel like she doesn't treat me like an adult... makes me so hoppin' mad!!)

Another thing I realized recently, is that i'm probably starting my Saturn return soon - i'm 28 1/2 - sound about right? I guess it explains why i've been having such a delightful year...

I also have these subconscious fears about the Pisces - i worry that he might move on eventually if i can't get out soon. Though, whenever we were apart in the past, even during my engagement, I've known him to turn down other girls because, he said, he just wasn't over me. His Virgo Moon makes him the type who'd rather be alone that with just anyone; he's just not the kind to go into a rebound relationship or even casually see someone when he's not ready emotionally. I have to hold on to that and hope & pray that this time too, it will be like that. I miss him so much it's killing me... it's now been 7 weeks since we decided not to be in touch until i get out, and 5 weeks since his last email to me. I didn't write back, deciding to contact him once i'm out, or at least once i've started the proceedings.

At times, i have strong vibes that he still loves me just as much and misses me like I miss him. Then, it's like our psychic connection (my Psyche conjunct his Moon; his Psyche conjunct my Sun) is as strong as ever.

posted May 15, 2005 09:16 AM         

My thoughts are with you....you are young and even though your chart with your current spouse looks great overall, your internal heart feelings just aren't there...

The best guidance I can give you is the try your hardest to free yourself from your mother's pressure. As a child, we do not usually have the option of our own thoughts and ways of living life...

Now that you are an adult woman, it is time that you live Your Life and Your Choices, free of limitation placed on you by society and other people (mother etc...).

While I agree that it is easier said than done, it is necessary in your spiritual growth. Of course you do not want to disappoint your mother...but that is part of the growing and 'letting go' process for the BOTH of you.

She will need to see (which will happen over time) that you are responsible for your choices and must 'let go' in order for you to decide things for yourself. Even though she has the best intentions, I think innately, our parents' ego gets involved if they think their child's choices are wrong (whether in general or by society's standards). Part of her reluctance to accept your wanting 'out' has to do with HER ego.

When you recognize this fact, then it becomes easier to let go of her expectations and live up to your own expectations. Does this make sense?

Personally, I would not involve the Pisces in your discussion with your husband. The decision to leave this marriage really should be based on your feelings about the relationship with him, not your feelings about someone else. Really examine them.

The Pisces may or may not work out and you have to be open to that chance. It is true for any of us with anyone so I don't feel it is prudent to get caught up in the 'what ifs'. That is when fear gets in the way and unnecessary thoughts will freeze you in your tracks.

So...get off the fence and make a decision and just do it. One way or another. It isn't fair to all people involved and try not to fear making a mistake either way. You WILL be fine and will eventually find the peace and happiness your soul is seeking....

Just a few of my thoughts for you...hoping some of them may help...

Good Luck Always!

Hugs-

GemStar