posted August 30, 2005 07:53 AM         

As always, stand tall and strong remembering who you are...and what you deserve (in relation to what you give). The dinner sounds like it would be interesting and I would think that your guy will be happy to have you accompany him! You can always call him with an assumptive approach too!

"Can't wait til we have the dinner with Mr. _____...when do you want me to meet you that evening?? It will be fun!" (spoken in your most interested and excited tone)

Be cool, calm and collected.
Feel confident-even if you don't feel that way....fake it til you make it Baby!! Just put on a grand smile and relax...you are in control of you!

Take care-

GemStar

posted September 05, 2005 10:52 PM         

yours and mine life situations seem different; i have no children. i am not a scorpio, but am scorpio rising. In this huge universe, you and i stood on the same street cornner. Deep felt love with someone who might be so scared beneath his strong aries ram exterior,
that running away for self survival seems to supercede all else. Shutting off, good protection too.even hurting the one they love if need be to get some protection from themselves as truly the type of love you give others, is reflected in the love to oneself.

from what i've read, aries has had very difficult recent years and only now as we speak are they coming up for any air, to begin living with enjoyment. same for your March 22? they've had some very gut punching times recently.

i dont think it is anything you are doing or not doing. he simply has so very much to work out. no matter how much good love and and light you have to share. and what can we women do meanwhile, how do we soothe our aching heart, get balance with our confused mind and heal our dented soul.....wish i knew a better answer than time heals. may time return to you the glow agan together those synchronistic moments showered on both you together.

i wish you good smiles, and feel goods soon...and hopes that we both find someone who truly needs, appreciates other people and wants to be with you....not someone who seems to only surround himself with himself. it is sad. no doubt a day of openning hopefully will happen for him. relization, awakening....

peace and love to you and your family ...a blessing to have people who love you in your life. and during such tragic times on america's gulfcoast where now how many thousands praying their loved ones ok, if only to be able to simply email or phone them. what a shame, waste and abuse if someone who can reach out to someone they care for fails to do so.

posted September 06, 2005 12:23 AM         

Wow, I feel so touched that your first post was in response to my thread.

That is amazing about our "Mar 22'ers". Synchronicity within a synchronicity thread.

What a beautiful sentiment you expressed with the Katrina Hurricane analogy and those that can't find their family and loved ones - and those that are too blind-sighted to see what they have in front of them. It was so appropriate.

To everyone that has read and posted in this thread. I feel petty writing about my experience now, with all of the devastation in the American Gulf. There are much more important things in life, than my love-life (or the lack of it). I send love and light to those affected by Katrina.

However, I did promise to keep you updated so here it is:

It seems as though Mr A has refound some of his initial feelings for me. When I arrived Friday night, he carried my bags in and could not do enough for me. We cooked dinner together and talked and laughed and cuddled and kissed. It was nice.

On Saturday, he took me to a beautiful mountain and we bushwalked to some magnificent waterfalls. Then, we had a picnic in the snow. (Well, we sat in the car to eat, but went walking through the snow afterwards.)

We went out to dinner with his business partner and his bus partner's wife on Saturday night. His bus partner is a psychic so it was something I really wanted to do (he doesn't live in the area so opportunities had been limited).

The conversation was so interesting and it got my already-over-analytical brain working in overdrive. It's enough for a thread on its own....I will try and post about it later.

On Sunday, while the two "boys" went off to the mine, I had some "me-spiritual time". I contemplated many things, including my relationship. I took a tarot deck and two oracle decks with me and decided to pull some cards. I pulled one that indicated that I wasn't being true to mysElf. I knew it was about the relationship.

The weekend had been so nice, I wasn't sure what to do because I knew I needed to talk about my feelings, yet, I didn't want to spoil the time that we had left together. But, I didn't want the next weekend together to be a guessing-game. So, I meditated and sent some "emotional baggage" down the fast-flowing river that I had sat next to.

I broached the topic with Mr A later that evening. I told him that I didn't know how to cope with his blowing hot and cold; that it made me insecure in the relationship; that I felt as though I was a gap-filler and there until something better came along (for him); that I was a beautiful person who deserved more; that I expected more from him (and I gave specific examples); and that he would lose me if things didn't change.

He was very receptive and suggested that he needed to improve and get his act together because he didn't want to lose me.

Sunday night together was beautiful. I left Monday morning and by 10.00am, he'd already rung me twice to say hello, that he missed me, and that he loved me. He came to my house last night and he is spending today with me at work(just sitting in my office). He's got a sore back, otherwise he'd be at work but he made more money last week than I make in a year, so I guess he can afford some time off!

So, there you have it. I am not so naive to think that everything is okay again.....or to fall for the sweet talk....however, it's a positive step in the right direction and I'm just taking one day at a time.

Gemstar, I'm still interested to hear of the transits if you have the time.

posted September 06, 2005 09:27 AM         

trite!?! please don't feel anything trite about your experiences. i admire your growth, honesty and taking risks during your emotional 'hurricane'. you are not giving up on love, how couregeous. Love, support and care is helping so many gulfcoast survivors.Need more of it.

Wonderful to hear you say out loud to him that you are a beautiful person and deserve good things, and speak of your insecurities. And he didn't run, a good man, so brave.

Its been 1 month since not hearing from my March 22. You are fortunate Mr A is nearby to work through everything, my A is 4000 miles away, living in England.

We met in the olden days when spam was only thought of as a bad food, internet was virus-free with mostly ghosting pranksters. Not a problem to read an email from an unknown sender.My job often received emails from unknown sources, and we always openned them. Was not an epidemic back then. Apparently someone ghosted my email address to him, if thats the right term. He first sent me an email asking who i was and why did i send him en email.I'd reply a few days later then next week there he appeared again. Was he the ghoster, was he for real, all thoughts croseed my mind, still do to this day, perhaps. 1 month later of great emails we swapped photos, 2 months later we spoke on the phone.

Since that fateful cyber rendevous, we've spent real time together, spoke daily on phone, often shared snail mail and planned to live together (yes drool and all). Our cosmic radio was turned up loud, incredible connections even at a distance. Synchronisty experienced daily, for 3 years. Makes a healthy heartbeat, healthy everything.

He had major life obligations to get through, which peaked these last 6 months, and i stayed through all the stresses with him.I too had home obligations to get thru.But getting there we were.

Once these major life events were resolved we were on our way to being together.Which has 99% happened. And now suddenly nothing. no phone replies, no emails, no snail mails for 5 weeks now.

We have spoken during those times when emotionally he needs to run off, doesnt mean to cut me out, and seemed to try to keep me in his life.Life at times can get so overwhelming, for us all. Even thru these past 6 months of tuff life challenges, understandingly, I'd let him be when he needs to go quiet, no matter what stresses i too was experiencing.Yet we would still talk it out.

thanks for listenning.

posted September 06, 2005 10:58 AM         

Thank You for reminding me!! Oopsey!

Ok..I will get back to you on this...and glad to hear that things sound so much better after you opened up and discussed your thoughts!! Obviously, he respects you enough to try harder-and that counts for a heck of a lot!!! Good job!!

Catch you later!!

posted September 06, 2005 11:16 AM         

Your transits are settling down for the moment...good! The main culprit seems to be your Saturn squaring your Sun AND Saturn squaring your Moon! The Saturn transits to these personal planets always seem to be difficult and frustrating transits...

[SATURN SQUARE Your MOON]

TURBULENT TRANSIT BY SATURN. This is a sign of turbulent times. The mistakes that did not hurt you before could cause problems now, especially if you have been too harsh in the past with someone that loves you. In addition, your emotional stability will be at its worst. In matters of love, this transit will often make you want to leave those that are good for you and run to those that are the worst for you. DO NOT DO ANYTHING DRASTIC AT THIS TIME, especially in your love life. If you have been in a love relationship, and you now want to break it off, DON'T! You should stay with it and hang on because you will feel differently after this transit passes. And if you now want to get married but did not before, DON'T do that either. Whatever impulses you have during this transit should be ignored and you should REASSESS everything after this transit passes. Most people find this a very tough transit and one reason people get into so much trouble during this transit is that they make crucial mistakes during this time, so the best course of action is to make no drastic changes. Another reason they have problems is that for some reason, this transit pushes them into having less faith in themselves, those who love them and in God. If you do not let this happen, you can more easily get through this transit without major problems arising.

SATURN SQUARE Your SUN]

TURBULENT TRANSIT BY SATURN. This is a sign of turbulent times. The mistakes that did not hurt you before could cause problems now. In addition, your judgement will be at its worst, and your physical vitality will be depleted. In matters of love, you could want to leave those that are good for you, and/or run to those that are the worst for you. DO NOT MAKE MAJOR CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE DURING THIS TRANSIT, especially in your love life. Whatever impulses you have during this transit should be ignored and you should REASSESS after this transit passes. For example, if you have been in a love relationship, and you now want to break off, DON'T! You should stay with it and hang on. On the other hand, right now you should also not get married either. The reason people get into so much trouble during this transit is that they make crucial mistakes during this time, so the best course of action is to make no drastic changes, take do dramatic steps, and reassess after this transit passes.

Additionally, your NNode conjuncting with Jupiter for a while is always helpful!
Your path of destiny is opening for you!!

Everything else is mellowing out...and the Sat sq Moon exact has passed...Saturn sq Sun is exact in about 2 weeks...still under that influence..however, it will pass too!!

Also, take a look at your longer-term transits in www.astro.com. I believe the long-term forecast has the interps available and on Thursdays I think the site opens the interps up for people in the dailies (located at the bottom of your daily horoscope).

Sorry things were so rough there for a while...looks like you kept your cool!!

posted September 06, 2005 10:34 PM         

I am curious to hear what 'love' is to purp_scorp??

Gem Star's interpetation of the transits have alot of 'dont's'. Sounds like purp_scorp is damed if she does and damned if she don't. Very complicated.

If it's not saturn in leo now then its mercury in retoegrade soon, or pluto right now pouncing venus..the universe seems to be an engimatic force of undercurrents always swirling life's lessons. And every bit of it has my respect, my gratitude.

isn't there some other words for purp-scorp, in the midst of the swirling dirvy wave of life other than ....great, do nothing, be cool just as you are???

I do hope that my words sound anything other than a curious question, i am new to these type of postings.

posted September 06, 2005 11:13 PM         

When someone is having more difficulties than normal, we like to look at WHICH major transits are happening that are possibly contributing to the frustrating feelings.

Learning about your transits is soooo important! Usually we have easy and difficult transits-AND we have all types of transits at the same time...however, we EACH have our own 'individual' transits unique to our natal placements.(In addition to the Mercury retrogrades etc...layers upon layers upon layers!!)

Purple_scorp was inquiring about major happenings with her transits...so the two that were highlighted are the ones that are most dominant at this time....there are also daily transits but they move quickly and usually do not have as lasting of an impact as the Saturn ones she is experiencing now.

Thus...explaining the stress she has felt in the past couple of weeks or so!! If you follow your transits, you can usually prepare for them in advance (sometimes yes-sometimes no) and get excited for them to leave!! LOL!!

PLUS-This was purely informational for purple_scorp!! Per her request...it was descriptive of her transits and only one interpretation....I personally like to google the aspects so that I can review ALL the interpretations available and condense it to my liking!

Hope all is well purple_scorp!! Like I said earlier...things will be looking up!!

posted September 06, 2005 11:41 PM         

Thank you so much for looking at the transits. I sometimes go to that website (especially on a Thursday) to read all of the transits, though haven't been there much of late. Now that you've finished, I might go back and edit my post so I don't feel so exposed! Hope that's okay.

The description for Saturn square my moon sounds/looks very much like the Saturn square my sun description. Though the sun and the moon themsElves differ. Is that normal that they are so closely related when aspecting Saturn?

Hmm, wondering what the transits are/were for Mr A because some of what you wrote sounds as though it came from Mr A's mouth. He had verbalised that he didn't know what to do in terms of me (and the feelings that had "disappeared") and that he's learnt if in doubt, do nothing. So that's exactly what he did.

For melsky,

um, hate to tell you this but yes, Mr A has the initial H in his name. Mr A doesn't normally suffer from a bad back - it's hopefully just a passing phase. He did some heavy work last week. We hope it just needs a little time. (Though I've encouraged him to see my naturopath.)

Regarding your silence......melsky, you wrote: ...his silence is causing me to doubt if in fact he truly exists or anything we epxerienced really happened at all.......it is all sadly, slowly disappearing with each day.....

I know exactly how that feels. I had said to Mr A a fortnight ago, but you were madly in love with me, or did I just make that up. And I added, because I'm beginning to wonder if it was all in my head. He confirmed it was real and not in my head.

And yes, I do believe in the power of love. I certainly believe that Mr A came into my life for a higher purpose - and one that I may never know. Maybe it was to introduce me to his business partner.

And you ask, what is love to me? Such an open-ended question and one that I think is hard to answer in a single post. Let's see...

I believe in universal love (love for one another), and I have children so I know a mother's love but I don't feel I have a lot of experience in romantic love. I was with my ex-hubby for 20 years and I don't know if I ever loved him.

So, perhaps I don't know love. I do have an expectation of what love should be and how it should feel. It should leave you floating, and nurtured, and nourished. That you are understood and accepted for who you are. Supported and encouraged to continue to be who you are. Love should take you on a journey to experience a deeper knowing, while at the same time, not distracting you too far off your soul's path.

I don't know melsky, perhaps if there was a multiple choice questionnaire, I could tell you a little more of what love is to me. lol.

posted September 06, 2005 11:46 PM         

Do you want me to pull the interps off?? Let me know and I can do so....no biggie!

posted September 06, 2005 11:48 PM         

no, please leave your post intact. I have no problem with what you've written.

I've edited my post to remove my birth yearr and long/lat and also current long/lat. I just felt that it was too much information to leave on a public forum!

Thanks for your help.

posted September 07, 2005 01:05 AM         

that would be good, when you get a chance. No hurry.

Sweet dreams.

posted September 07, 2005 02:54 PM         

purp, you write your thoughts so lovely and clearly. yes so many colours of love, and its expectations are a huge part of it too.

thanks gem star for your explanation. will study more on transits.

nice to have met you both and wish good smiles for you, great feel goods....and good transits in your journey

melsky

inital H you say ......lOL LOL LOL...

posted October 06, 2005 10:03 PM         

I was thinking about you today and wondering how you're doing, and where in the Universe Mr Aries is.....

posted October 06, 2005 10:27 PM         

how strange - why were you thinking of me? I'm wondering if you tapped into some of my energy?

I've not been to LL for ages. Actually, I've not been online all that much lately.

And, your timing is absolutely impeccable. He's done it again! So I'm right now, sitting here thinking.....well, I'm just confused - that's all.

Because this time, things were going really well. We (him, me, his kids, my kids) all went on a week's holiday together and it went extremely well. Everyone was happy and he commented on how nice it was to sit there and watch our children play together.

He and I had just spent 18 nights and 10 days together (the other days we both went to work - only seven of these days/nights were with children) and this last Friday night he told me he loved me more now than he ever did.

We spent a beautiful weekend together (child-free). But, for some reason, I felt he was slowly pulling away from me. It got to the point on Sunday night when he wasn't even cuddling me anymore.

On Monday night, we were eating dinner and discussing what we could all do (kids and us) this coming weekend. And then I confronted him about his emotional withdrawal and he wouldn't talk to me. Said he'd rather not talk, because in the past he's learnt if you don't know what to say, it's better to say nothing. I asked if maybe we could talk about it at another time, but he said he'd rather not say.

We went to bed that night and he stayed on his side. I asked if I could cuddle him and he said no, he was too tired. Before I left the next morning, I told him I was confused, I didn't know what was going on, so I didn't know what to say. And I added, whatever it is that your struggling with, I hope you find peace and happiness and I'm here if you want to talk. And he said, drive safely. And I left. That was Tuesday morning. It is now Friday morning and I've not heard from him.

There is no logical reason for his behaviour. How can he think I would accept him not telling me what is wrong? That is not a good basis for a relationship.

Anyhow, I'm doing okay with it all. I have no clue if that is it. If we've broken up. I've learnt and grown from the first experience. Then, I was frought with anxiety. Now, I'm frustrated but also annoyed. How can anyone treat another person like that. To leave them hanging, not knowing?

I've got a couple of theories in my head. He told me he's got some stuff to work out. I know it is not about me. I knew the first time wasn't about me too, but somehow then, I felt hurt and rejected. Now I am over it. I'm like....will you please stop mucking me around and let me get on with my life.

Ultimately, I know I can decide to leave him. And strangely enough, on Saturday night he actually asked me if I was going to leave him. That made me wonder if his hissy fit was in defense. It was a funny thing for him to say, but it was in response to me not being tired, and getting up during the night to look through a new Oracle deck that I'd just purchased. He took my leaving the bed as a personal rejection. Of course I assured him that I loved him and I wasn't leaving.

So, did he decide to get me before I got him? I don't know.

Another interesting synchronicity is the timing. Both episodes have occurred directly after holidays. I know he was apprehensive about work and he's been questioning whether it's time to make a break in career. But, I asked him if this is why he was withdrawing and he said no.

I can't help but feel I'm a third wheel in the equation. I know he'd talked about comparing me to his last gf but I also feel there is a female entity from a past life, hanging around. And, I believe she may be contributing to his sabatage of his relationships. I felt her energy, one night in his house, long before we went on our first holiday. There was a foreboding sense of doom and I felt for sure we would break up. There was no grounding for this feeling. But, I felt her presence in the corner near the fireplace. And, I broke the energy by turning on lights, and doing the dishes.

Anyhow, I've digressed.

So, how am I going? I'm physically well. Emotionally a little confused, but not stressed out like I was last time. I am eating and sleeping well. I feel as though I'm just waiting now for Mr A to work out what he wants and if I'm still here, then maybe, just maybe we'll get together.

I do want to be with him, but I can't subject mysElf to many more of these cycles. I need to feel secure in my relationships. How can you build trust if you fear that every other month you might break up? It's not what I want.

How does someone go from putting in 150% into the relationship and telling me he loves me more than ever, and wanting to do things (renovate) my house to "I'd rather not say what is bothering me?"

I know and accept it's not about me. My self-love is intact right now.

I've wasted too much band-with on this, so I'll stop now.

Thanks for listening.

posted October 07, 2005 07:57 AM         

Good to hear from you girl.......sorry to hear of the uncertainty of things.....life is a pain in the a**** at times aint it?

I would be happy to pull a couple of Lovers Oracle cards for you and he....if you want....was gonna do that now....but felt it only right I ask first.....

Just to let you know I am here........

posted October 07, 2005 05:52 PM         

thanks for your offer. I'm in two minds about it though. Of course I have my own Love cards (the one I used to pull cards for you) but I've deliberately not used it.

I kind of feel that I have no control over the situation and so therefore, what's the point in doing a love reading? Even if I knew the reasons (that I suspect) I still can't do anything about it. It is stuff he has to work through.

Anyhow, if you are able to, I would actually prefer a what's going to happen in my life over the next however months reading.

I'd like to know where I'm headed, which I think is a separate issue to whatever I may or may not be doing with Mr A.

Of course, it would be interesting to see if he appears in that reading.

posted October 07, 2005 06:00 PM         

He sounds like he dearly wants to be committed to you and then once it sinks in, he freaks himself out. Worried that all is too good to be true perhaps?

I will be happy to check his transits...see where Neptune may be confusing his emotions....I have Nep currently squaring my ASC and it is a pain...I am usually pretty grounded in my thoughts and of late, do not have the instinctual finesse that I normally feel. So, I have to rely on the transits of my fella to know what is going on....sometimes it is simply a person's emotional maturity trying to grow that causes a person to run back to an old habit...hiding his feelings.

If you want to post just his stats I will be happy to look...I am available this weekend...and will let you know what the 'majors' are doing....sounds like a critical juncture...and it is necessary for him to pass through.

Continue to remember your worth and your personal strength. We offer our best to another and allow the Universe to guide us...though blind...we sometimes must be patient and relax. And welcome a quiet period of emotional turmoil that will clear away fears that might impede further development between you two.

Stay strong and one with your 'Center' and breathe deeply with the knowing of all things falling into place when the time is right...and not before then.

Peace...

posted October 07, 2005 06:08 PM         

thank you for your offer. From memory, you didn't save his settings but you had mine. Do you still have them???

As I said to sue, I feel a little uncomfortable about delving too much into anything to do with him at the moment and I would prefer if you wanted to do transits, that you actually looked at mine for a coming period.

posted October 07, 2005 07:03 PM         

My computer has changed and the way the Magi transits work, I am unable to transfer info and have to re-enter info on the new computer..so no, I no longer have your data.

I certainly understand your deisre for privacy...just trying to give you ideas to look at in your journey of understanding his influences astrologically. Have you looked at them in astro.com for Mr. A?? What is Pluto, Uranus or Saturn and Neptune aspecting at the moment to his natal planets....(Conjunct, square or opposed). Perhaps that will give you some further clues...I can no longer look at astrology without reviewing current transits....it has opened an amazing world of clarity to me!!

Let me know what you need...you sound good and strong by the way!!

GemStar