posted May 22, 2007 08:05 PM         

I'm okay - I have been TERRIBLY sick over the last week with strep throat and have been incapacitated. I haven't been able to get out of bed. It's been horrible!

Thank you again for your positive thoughts. Unfortunately, things with my pisces have taken a turn for the worst in the last week or so. I'm very upset and I'm not sure what is going on.

The last time I saw him was the night I mentioned before - the night where he made that weird comment - I guess a week and a half ago. This is the longest I have gone without seeing him probably in a year. He has virtually stopped calling me. I called one time and he said he'd call back that night, but didnt call back until the next day.

I was desperately sick on Friday and called him - he didn't return the call until the next day. He called late at night when he was on his way out to a club. It was like an afterthought. He had no idea how sick I'd been, but seemed concerned and asked if I needed anything. The next morning he called to see how I was doing. We chatted a little bit and in the course of the conversation he said he had a DATE on Tuesday. YES!!! It is a girl his friend set him up with... I'm just kind of numb.

So he never bothered to see how I was doing yesterday... and this morning he called and left some dumb message "checking" on me. I'm thnking... REALLY? All this time later you're going to pretend you're concerned? Needless to say I didnt call back and don't plan to for a while.

I feel he is spending time with new people all of a sudden and I feel kicked to the curb. I"m wondering if he sensed something from me and is pushing me away?

And I can look at this objectively and think it's probably not a big deal in the scheme of things... but you know when you get an INSTINCT something is different? I've got that.

posted May 23, 2007 12:41 AM         

Wish I'd know what to say now... I am puzzled by this just like you are... Could it be that he thinks YOU are not interested?
I hope you'll get better soon. Keep me posted! I'm having some men troubles too. What is going on??
No matter what, don't let the depression get to you! Keep the faith!

Izo

posted May 23, 2007 10:48 PM         

What great advice from both of you! Izo - I'm so sorry to hear you're having man trouble... hopefully not anything too serious??? What's going on?

As for me and the pisces... well i didnt call him back after that dumb message yesterday morning... and then he called me again last night at about 8:30 wanting to know why i hadnt called him back and if i was OK... I said "oh, i thought you had a date tonight so I figured you'd be out". He said he was on his way to the date... but we had a good conversation and I felt connected to him more than i have in a while.

We talked a little bit about the girl he was going to meet, and he said that he'd call me and tell me how it went afterwards if it wasnt too late. He called at around 1:30pm (twice) but I didnt pick up. I think I'll call him after he gets off work today and see what he's up to.

Peri - very insightful... you think he's picking up on my insecurity vibes? That actually wouldnt surprise me. He's incredibly intuitive, almost to a fault... he can see straight through me sometimes. It's a little discomforting. I do think we should talk sometime about things, but I want to wait a little while until things feel back to normal...

Thanks again for your encouragement and well wishes. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and your wonderful posts really help!!!

posted May 25, 2007 03:23 PM         

Last night, after 2 bottles of white wine... my pisces and I FINALLY kissed!!! We actually spent several hours making out and it was amazing!!!

Now... in the cold hard light of day... I'm scared. I have no idea what this means or what we do from here.

posted May 26, 2007 04:33 PM         

Wow! That is VERY interesting...

Here's the thing. I saw my pisces last night in a group situation and things were weird. We were both shy wallflowers. He was attentive and sweet, but the whole time there was a tangible difference in how we interacted with each other.

On the way home, we talked on the phone. I asked what he was doing for the rest of the weekend and he told me he had plans to spend it with that GIRL!!!! (who, by the way, he kissed on Tuesday night).

posted May 27, 2007 08:54 AM         

I flirt as well apparently.. I never notice I'm doing it but I'm told that I do lol though to me it's just talking - socialising - It doesn't have to lead to something physical like a kiss.. It also makes me extremely uncomfortable to be around someone who obviously *only* wants something physical.. I'm sure that's how he feels with those girls who wanted to go there.. It feels like, this person doesn't *know* me.. so what do they want? It would be like spending the night with a blow up doll..

I'm 100% sure he would not feel this way with you. You already know him and you're close.. it's a different situation.

But Capricorn moon isn't that great at expressing emotions so if he seems cold, it's most likely not because he doesn't like or love you.. but because he doesn’t know how to express it.

About him mentioning the other girl.. you've said this previously:

quote:

---

if my pisces is teasing me just to boost his own ego, why should I be so careful about his feelings when he's not doing the same for me?

---

It isn't to boost his ego.. I wouldn't take it that way. It's more like acting out on insecurity. I've had a lot of Piscean friends and they do say stuff like that purely out of fear.. They think that unless they play some game - the person (you) will lose interest.. as they are not good enough as they are.. without playing some game to make sure you stay hooked. It’s lack of confidence and trust.

posted May 27, 2007 11:04 AM         

I feel your pain...

For what it's worth, here is my two cents...

Pisces seem to have this fear of rejection. Perhaps he's not sure where he stands where you are concerned and is also afraid to move because he doesn't want to lose you are his friend, or worse yet, hurt you?

Most pisces do not really want to "make waves". They would much rather swim silently in the ocean and be anonymous... Admitting how he feels about you, whether love or otherwise, means he has to 1. hurt the girl he's currently dating, or 2. hurt you. Neither will seem too appealing to him right now.

I don't know what a good advise is but being an Aries, I would much rather know the truth, and be hurt to a point of losing him than not know and be hurt everytime he goes on a date with someone else anyway.

Why not sit down with him and be honest. I believe that Honestly is the most important ingredient in any relationship.

Just tell him how you feel and if he doesn't feel the same way that you would be eternally grateful if he just say so because it would hurt you even more if he doesn't tell you. And if he feels the same way, he should stop seeing the other girl and be with you as a couple.

There is no guarantee that he will reciprocate. He might really just turn around and tell you that he just wants to be friends. In this case, at least now that you know...

If you can't tell him this face to face... try sending him an email. I find it easier to express how I feel in writing.

Hope it works out for you,

posted May 29, 2007 12:14 AM         

Thanks so much for your input. Everything you're saying about the cappy moon sounds right-on and my instincts tell me that you're right too. Things are so muddy and confusing for me right now though.
What do you make of this:
The day the "make out" happened he spent the night and left Friday morning for work. He called me once and left an exhuberantly happy message on my machine that morning on his way in to the office... he was just joking around and being cute and playful and said he'd call me later. Later in the day he calls me... he sounds great, things aren't awkward between us, and then he says, "So I guess the boundaries of friendship were crossed last night, werent they? You're not going to feel awkward around me now, are you?". Of course I say, "No way!". He then invited me out that night with a couple of his friends.

Seeing him for the first time after the fact on Friday night, I had butterflies and I think we were both a bit unsure how to act around each other. Especially since his best friend and another friend were there. I KNOW the best friend has to know about what happened. Anyway, we had a few tender moments and he was very attentive and sweet, but I could tell he was feeling bashful... and maybe I'm reading into this, but it was the kind of bashful when you have a crush on someone... but i could DEFINITELY be reading this wrong. ANYWAYS... fast forward to the end of the night. We talk in our respective cars on the way home that night and I can tell he's not super chatty. I ask him what he's doing for the rest of teh weekend... he then hesitantly tells me he's going out with "the girl" to a movie in the park she invited him to on Saturday... then Sunday or Monday they're going for a drive to Santa Barbara. My heart jumped up in my throat. I played it cool though and told him to have a good time.

Here's the thing - I KNOW he had this stuff planned with her before our "night". And I could tell he didn't feel great about telling me. Fact of the matter is though - he was still going out with her. And I need to accept that he's going to be spending time with her and that probably, this was just a fling with me. I'm very unclear about where he is with all of this.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about that night; I wonder if he's feeling the same?

Miss Muffett,

I agree with you, I need to talk with him about things and what we do from here. I am not ready to come completely clean with him about my feelings yet. There is a lot to consider. I am going to wait and see how I feel when we talk next. I know he probably had a really romantic weekend with this other girl and that kills me... I think I can keep my feelings at bay for a bit longer until I talk to him. I hope to be able to read him a bit better after that.

Love can be so painful.

posted May 29, 2007 04:32 AM         

Izo

posted May 29, 2007 06:03 PM         

HERE'S WHAT I HAVE TO SAY....
1ST- SCARLETT YOU SOUND LIKE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SOUL THAT IS EXPERIENCING LOW SELF ESTEEM IN THIS SITUATION. YOU ARE CONSTANTLY DOUBTING YOURSELF. YOU MUST STOP THAT! FIRST OFF YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH AND WHEN YOU QUESTION YOURSELF (ESPECIALLY AROUND HIM) IT DOESN'T LOOK/FEEL NATURAL. IT THROWS AN INTUITIVE PISCES OFF AND MAKES HIM SECOND GUESS HIS THOUGHTS AS WELL.

2ND- YOU ARE GOING TO NEVER KNOW AND CONSTANTLY QUESTION YOURSELF AND HIM UNTIL YOU ASK HIM WHAT HE FEELS ABOUT THE SITUATION. JUST SAY THAT "HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SITUATION YOU AND I ARE EXPERIENCING?" AND IF HE ASKS YOU THE SAME JUST BE HONEST, BECAUSE YOUR HONESTY IS POSITIVE FEELINGS (OVERALL) WHEN IT COMES TO THIS GUY. AND DON'T FEEL LIKE IT WILL MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A PERSON IF YOU DO SOMEWHAT PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE LIKE THAT. YOU NEED TO DO THIS BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T A YEAR OR TWO DOWN THE ROAD YOU WILL LOOK BACK AND THINK "I HAD SO MANY CHANCES AND WAS SO BUSY DOUBTING MY INTERPRETATIONS OF THE SITUATION THAT I DIDN'T EVER FIND OUT WHAT HE FELT AND NOW I'LL ALWAYS WONDER..." DON'T DO THAT TO YOURSELF IT ISNT WORTH IT. LIFE IS TOO SPECIAL AND TOO SHORT!

YOU ALWAYS TAKE THAT CHANCE OF NOT GETTING THE ANSWER YOU'RE LOOKING FOR WHEN YOU PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE, BUT I WOULD RATHER HAVE THAT CLARIFICATION THEN A LIFETIME OF "WHAT IF'S" WOULDN'T YOU? AND THAT IS WHAT YOURE CONSTANTLY ASKING YOURSELF ALREADY. "WHAT IF IM NOT READING THIS RIGHT? WHAT IF I'M WRONG? ETC"

posted May 31, 2007 01:46 AM         

How are you doing?? You mentioned man trouble in a previous post... everything okay???

Miss Aries ~ Thank you for your wonderfully kind words! I know I'm definitely not a confident aries when it comes to this situation, but there is so much at stake here, I just feel like I need to be careful. We're in such a delicate state right now. Aside from what may or may not develop romantically, my friendship with him is too important to me to ruin. If we are all awkward and closed-up because we're too weirded out by everything, our friendship is definitely never goign to be the same comfortable haven it's always been for me... so I need to wait this one out a tad I think. The last thing I want to do is throw my intuitive pisces off track... but the extra element involved here is this other girl. I feel he needs to figure out what's going on with her before I inject myself into the romantic equation. The silence between us is deafening... when and IF we ever talk, I'll have a conversation like you've suggested... more of an open-ended "how do you feel about things?" thing... if he asks me back, I'm going to say, "if I said I didnt have feelings for you, I would be lying". That's as much as I'm giving up right now... (Baby steps!!!)

This VERY well could be a drunken fling that meant absolutely nothing, so I'm preparing myself for that. I will definitely keep you posted...

Thanks SO much to you all for your loving thoughts and concern... you are all so wonderful.

posted June 01, 2007 04:12 AM         

He suddenly said he should go because he has an early morning tomorrow. This is soooooo unlike him I can't even tell you. If i had to wager a little money, he was heading to her house FOR SURE.

posted June 01, 2007 11:11 AM         

xoxo

posted June 04, 2007 12:04 PM         

Izo- Im sad you're going through some difficult relationship times also. It is never easy and it consumes so much, even when you tell yourself to stay busy w/ other things or that you will be just fine w/out them. It is never that simple is it? I think when you reach a point where you can tell yourself "ok I need to move on for my own sanity/happiness" it is a weight lifted off your shoulders. Not much of one however because now you have to redirect all of this energy and focus you've had on this person. And it is energy that has been so strong for so long. It's true that time does heal the pain. I am one, however, that wants to know "how much time til it feels better?!!!!" I guess just faith in yourself and remind yourself also to take full advantage of those that are there to lend support. That is all one can do. I see a bright light for you at the end of the tunnel. One that will bring a lot of happiness and peace. Until then if you ever need someone to talk to I am happy to be here for you.

Scarlett- I agree w/ Izo. 100%.

"What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?"

posted June 05, 2007 07:39 PM         

You both are very wise and ALWAYS give great advice. I'm DEFINITELY planning to talk to my pisces, but things have sort of gone from bad to worse in the last few days.
I can't wait to see what other odd events are going to develop.

We have seen each other every Friday night since I can remember - it's a given - and I called him Friday and never heard back ALL night, which again - is completely bizarre. What planet am I on?

Then, I'm feeling thoroughly ticked off and annoyed, and he calls Saturday afternoon to invite me out. He left a message and barely skimmed over why he'd not called me back. (VERY VERY out of the ordinary). He said "I was out and about last night". Translation - with the girl. Gross.

I never returned this call, and he called again Saturday night to tell me the location was changing. It was going to be him and 5 of his college buddies. I can't tell if this is a great compliment or huge insult that he invites me to these things. It feels he's trying to put a wedge between us a mile high.

So, in an effort to make things seem "not weird", I called him twice on Sunday in attempt to reach him. No call back. EVEN STRANGER!!! This is soooo unusual that he wouldlnt give me a quick call to let me know whats going on.

Then... the kicker. Monday night I get a TEXT MESSAGE from him. Let me say that this man is severely dyslexic and would rather get a root canal than send a text message... I have often been asked NOT to send them to him because he just gets too frustrated to respond and will end up calling back instead of even trying to send one. Anyway... the text I get from him reads:

"Will be out of towm till Thursday"

THAT's IT!!!!!!!! What the hell... I've had it. I'm SOOO done with this blatant disrespect. He is DEFINITELY trying to send me a message.

My intuition tells me that he is scared to death because he was vulnerable with me. He is freaked out by intimacy. Like most men, I'm sure he thinks that since I am a woman I want something from him or I want to nail him down. So he's fleeing. Well I hope he enjoys life without me. I will do a lot for love, but I am not about to be unappreciated and walked all over.

posted June 06, 2007 02:12 AM         

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/002576.html

posted June 06, 2007 05:21 AM         

I am sorry you have a bad day. I hope things will get better for you.
Thank you for the link! It's amazing stuff!