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Author
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Topic: When we have sex
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NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 28, 2007 08:57 PM
 
I think of someone else.
Discuss...
*See you guys going bowling!
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CoralFrequency
Knowflake Posts: 838
From:
Registered: Feb 2007
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posted November 28, 2007 09:12 PM
I have never done this, but it reminds me of a guy I used to know who said he thought of me when him and his gf had sex. He was very graphic about it - yuck  I thought it was disgusting *gag* I'm still gaging over it years later.
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LibraChickety
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007
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posted November 28, 2007 09:39 PM
That is just something that most people don't want to hear anything about - especially if you WEREN'T the one being thought of! Uggh.------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked ;) IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 28, 2007 11:59 PM
Most people don't want to hear or don't want to tak about it?IP: Logged |
yourfriendinspirit
Moderator Posts: 1733
From: California, USA
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted November 29, 2007 12:16 AM
You said: "When we have sex / I think of someone else"I say: You really shouldn't be having sex with this person then. You are placing them in the position of being USED. This is not fair to him or you for that matter. I'd also consider why you are imaging this other person? Is this someone you've previously been with? Do you have unresolved issues there? Is this someone you wish to be with? Is this an option? And so forth... Are you feeling embarrassed or guilty about these thoughts? I'd do a self check for morality here too... Then finally, you must ask yourself if these conditions are voluntary or involuntary? If the answer here is simple -Well... so must be, the solution. ------------------
Sendin' love your way,
"your friend in spirit"  IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 12:49 PM
Well , some people seem to think it is normal to think of other people while having sex with your partner and in fact this is the way a relationship should and will function to be a healthy relationship.IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency
Knowflake Posts: 838
From:
Registered: Feb 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 04:51 PM
If you are referring to someone in particular, what's going on with Jupiter in their chart?IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 05:11 PM
I most definitely would NOT want to hear that my partner is thinking of someone else during sex. That would truly offend me. Maybe a lot of people do from time to time, but I personally, ABSOLUTELY do not want to hear about it.I personally, don't think it's very healthy for a relationship. Possessive and jealous? Indeed. ------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked  IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 06:32 PM
So do you think if someone gets to that point they might as well think of the relationship as doomed?IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 72
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted November 29, 2007 06:46 PM
there is another view on this...it could be one of those threesomes where the third person is in your head IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 06:50 PM
ok, so now it is ok because we are fantisizing about a 3some we are not actually having...
I'll take that as being healthy for the relationship then, unless I am mistaken!IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 7024
From: Schweinfurt, Germany
Registered: May 2002
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posted November 29, 2007 06:51 PM
NAM, I think you are actually posting for attention (IMO). I have read a few other threads where everything you have been writing seems to be along the lines of trying to start some type of controversy or to incite ill will. If you want to have sex with someone and think about someone else, well that is your business. In the real world and in healthy relationships we actually think and FEEL the other person. I can't imagine having my husband and I being in that kind of passion and I am thinking about another person. If that is the case, why in the hell would I be with my husband? He would just be a vehicle to give me pleasure until I could be with the other. That isn't right. Based on what you see as a healthy relationship (according to your words) you haven't been in one or if you've been close to one, you were hurt. Maybe you take sex as just a physical action.. a means to an end (the end being the ultimate climax) and that is your choice, if your partner is fine with it, then cool, if your partner knows nothing of this, but is giving 100%, then you are robbing him / her of you. I see sex as a union. A wonderful physical union that combines a huge dose of the spiritual. If I can't have that, then I don't want it. Physical sex for the sake of sex has no meaning for me and is right up there with going for a hike, but without the feeling of being close to nature. I do hope you experience "it all". Being American Indian, we believe that we have two souls; one that rules the primative part- hunger, breathing, surviving and the other rules the spiritual part- religion, love and "merging". I merge completely with my husband and I love it...and I think of NO ONE but him. IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 72
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted November 29, 2007 06:57 PM
No NAM!!!Not fantasising... but if you are having sex with a person and thinking about another it is kinda like a threesome, no? I mean if you are thinking about another person, that is called fantasising!!!!! Personally l don't see anything wrong with it unless it happens every time you have sex. IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 07:03 PM
quote:
I think you are actually posting for attention (IMO). I have read a few other threads where everything you have been writing seems to be along the lines of trying to start some type of controversy or to incite ill will.
You are entitled to your opinions and I respect that but I can assure you that I am not posting for any kind of attention, when I post about something and I have a question is because I really want to know what you guys think and I obviously have some respect for all of you because I really take in consideration what you think. As for the rest of your answer I appreciate your sincerity and for you to share your feelings about the subject.
I hope you and I can have some more conversations in the future as well.
These last 2 have not been so nice.(this post and the one before with the whole Lotus thing) I hope Germany is treating you good.One day I would like to visit my cousin that lives there. IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 07:06 PM
quote:
If you are referring to someone in particular, what's going on with Jupiter in their chart?
In other words you think that having a slip with an emotional affair (in your mind) is nothing else but some type of transit in the planets that is urging you to think this way?
Has anyone research this? IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 07:16 PM
Here are the results of another site where people are not "enlighted" nor want to be.Their lives are as linear as it can get, and these are at least people in their 30's and up:Guy(married):I would have to say that everyone is guilty of it from time to time Guy(happily married):Good Grief of course I and many other men think about other women while they are ya know doing it? with other women. Guy (just married):Good Lawd .
I can't remember what I think about .
Kinda like chat you go there and no ones there Guy (just married):Hmmm....I was kina thinkin....I'll be damned...this still feels good as all get out Girl (happy-married):Ok then, as someone who has been married for almost ten years...fantasizing about someone else/something in my opinion is unavoidable. It isn't constant, but it happens and I'm sure it happens for him as well. Sometimes I have really cool sexy dreams about men I don't even know, and I have to tell you it makes my day. I think it's natural to be attracted to others.....at least I can't stop myself. Married not buried. Girl (not so good marriage):When I have sex alone I do think of other people.I think it is harmless to have a crush on a famous person if you are in a relationship. If I were in love with someone I don't think I would develop a crush on anyone else. I think it is normal to do so and I don't think a relationship should be ended over it
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yourfriendinspirit
Moderator Posts: 1733
From: California, USA
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted November 29, 2007 07:25 PM
Pidaua, you just posted 9/10ths of what I had just intended to post here now so beautifully said...
Thank you!Let me add some astro facts to back up the ridiculousness of the original thought patterns, etc. Nelly, I do understand what a healthy relationship is and is not, do these "Some people" you speak of? I have been blessed to be in a loving, non-judgmental, healthy relationship with the same man for the last 12+ years. While my husband has the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Chiron all located in the 12th house "Pisces on the cusp" at 20º 20' (20/20 as in "vision", haaa...haa...)
Though he has a whole crapload of fantasy desires and ideas...
He does NOT think of someone else while having sex with me. As Pid just eloquently stated it is not a physical act but rather a blending of spirits. It's important to note here also that, while I myself have the Sun and Neptune conjunct in my own Natal chart I too can get pretty into fantasy, This does NOT include thinking of someone else while having sex with him. After 12 years, I'm pretty certain and clear that if it were going to happen, it would have already. Prior to our relationship I had other healthy relationships which also did NOT include thinking of someone else during sex. For me personally the only explaination I could possibly fathom for this happening is complete disrespect towards my partner and pure boredom... Neither of these equate to a "healthy relationship" in my eyes. Again I urge you to read the previous post I made, perhaps the answer is a simple one just overlooked. Edited To Add:
If you are going to post things from another site please also provide the source.
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NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 07:38 PM
YFIS~ I am very happy for you! and for everyone that knows themselves that well.
But sadly the rest of teh world isn't like that and maybe I just want to know why, why aren't more people happy?
is it really about knowing ourselves , our fears etc? or is it because some do really find love and some just pay their debt, karma ...whatever you want to call it.I sure don't think this question should insult anyone or get you all worked out, it is just a question.That's all. IP: Logged |
yourfriendinspirit
Moderator Posts: 1733
From: California, USA
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted November 29, 2007 07:47 PM
I took no offense to the question at all.
I made a conscience decision to repond to it as well, in hopes of offering a real response. As you previously noted people are afraid to answer or feel uncomfortable with the subject. Heads up, this Sagi girl is not, LOL! (Nor is she worked up)  You said: "why aren't more people happy?" Perhaps it is ill thought patterns... If you are healthy of mind and spirit you attract heathy relationships. Thoughts become actions ~ Thoughts become matter
This really is a simple concept to see firsthand. IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 07:55 PM
ok, I am sorry but you are telling me that when I see and talk to the rest of the world and I know they are not happy is because I am only interacting with the ones that reflect me , so theya re not happy and I am not happy?Are the rest invisible to me? or am I invisibe to them? what about you and I now? we are talking..you are happy and I am not (sometimes, not all the time though) IP: Logged |
MUSTANG
Knowflake Posts: 868
From:
Registered: Jun 2006
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posted November 29, 2007 07:59 PM
Who do you think of?  PS- I've done this before; It's really not THAT big of a deal. I think women think it is because they're so romantic, but I think it is natural as long as it doesn't happen all the time. It's not as if a person can control what they think of during sex. Everyone has fantasies... That said, I wouldn't tell my partner, nor would I want to know they were thinking of someone else - I'd be very angry and hurt. Of course I realize he will definately think of someone else on occasion...I mean, c'mon! What sig is your moon, venus, neptune and mars? Which houses are they in? Do you have anything in sag or the 9th house? I think we like to "travel" even in our minds! I do agree with others that it isn't healthy, but I feel it isn't healthy if it's done often...not every once and a while. ------------------
Sun Aqua, Moon Sagg, Asc Taurus IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 07:59 PM
Yes, NAM, I believe that if a relationship gets to the point where you start thinking of other people while having sex it isn't healthy.Threesomes are a completely different topic. One of which I wish to not be apart of - respectively. ------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked ;) IP: Logged |
yourfriendinspirit
Moderator Posts: 1733
From: California, USA
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted November 29, 2007 08:03 PM
Nelly...One question:
Why did you join Linda Land? Is it possible you are trying to change some patterns? Associate yourself with others of a certain mindset? Find others who connect with the "you" of you? hmmm...  ------------------
Sendin' love your way,
"your friend in spirit" IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 08:14 PM
Mustang, I agree with you that we ALL on occasion fantasize (i.e. that attractive person in the elevator, an actor/actress, etc.), but it is always to an extent. And, we would NEVER tell our partner - that could potentially damage their ego!On the other hand, I think if you start to fantasize about someone more accessible (i.e. a co-worker, your partner's friend, etc.), THAT could have the tendency to become unhealthy if taken too far. ------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked ;) IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1833
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted November 29, 2007 08:14 PM
quote:
Nelly...
One question:
Why did you join Linda Land?Is it possible you are trying to change some patterns? Associate yourself with others of a certain mindset? Find others who connect with the "you" of you? hmmm...
Interesting question...
I joined LL because I was looking for more information on Linda's books.I was going through and I am still going through some self discovery but as I am doing this I have found more questions that I never thought of before and by looking back at my life, and my friends/the world I am seeing things and thoughts I didn't even thought possible. I hope that explains it. You guys have been great with expanding my thoughts but some things that still don't click or add up to me. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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