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Author Topic:   Are Aquarians really that bad?
GemGemGem
Knowflake

Posts: 73
From:
Registered: Dec 2007

posted December 13, 2007 12:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemGemGem     Edit/Delete Message
I don't know much about astrology, so I never thought of aquarians as all that bad...until I read some of these posts. It seems no other sign has as much negative feedback as Aquarians.

Are they really that commitment phobic?

I ask because I just started dating one. He seems warm, sincere, kind hearted, and he says he likes the idea of committed relationships. Reading these posts about Aquarians is making me want to back off from him.

I've recently ended my marriage with my Sagittarius husband of 2 years because he was having an affair. My heart was destroyed, and i am still picking up the pieces.

I am scared to get too involved with this new man because I am fearful of getting hurt again. Aquarians seem to cause a lot of pain and turmoil in their partners, so I'm thinking about giving up on this one before it goes any further.

Any advice would be a great help.

I am:
Asc Leo
Sun Gemini
Moon Gemini
Mercury Gemini
Venus Taurus
Mars Taurus
Jupiter Leo
Saturn Virgo
Uranus Scorpio
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Libra

He is:
Asc Unknown
Sun Aquarius
Moon Aries
Mercury Capricorn
Venus Capricorn
Mars Gemini
Jupiter Aries
Saturn Cancer
Uranus Scorpio
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Libra

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LibraChickety
Knowflake

Posts: 261
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007

posted December 13, 2007 12:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraChickety     Edit/Delete Message
I had one bad experience with an Aquarius, but am not going to say that I wouldn't try again (BUT definitely with different placements!).

I would think that because he has come off as what you described: warm, sincere, kind-hearted...and has admitted to liking the idea of commitment, that you have nothing to worry about - I'm guessing he isn't going to do a 360 on you. He clearly hasn't displayed the typical aloof and unpredictable behavior that most Aquarians exhibit. Now, I'm fairly new to everything beyond the Sun Sign, but from what I've gathered here at LindaLand, I would say he must have some very nice, favorable placements in his chart to initially come across as the person you have described him as.

------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked

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writesomething
Knowflake

Posts: 1028
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006

posted December 13, 2007 05:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for writesomething     Edit/Delete Message
~Stay away from aquarians if you want to keep your sanity intact.

if you want your sanity, and you want love, stay away from these men. theyre horrible. its not a myth, its not a joke, its just the truth from the women with the war scars.

and i had to deal with a man with a venus in capricorn in retrograde, square mars, saturn, and pluto. the most screwed up aquarian ive ever come across. oh yeah and moon(gemini) opposite uranus to boot.

i thought i loved him, but i realize now it wasnt love, but me trying to love myself on some sick demented level. i cannot stand him anymore, i feel sorry for him really. he didnt know love was, he wasnt capable of it. it overwhelmed him and scared him, it probably repulsed him. he has issues, deep issues i will never be able to heal...nobody will not even him, unless he tries...and hes not the type to try i think...

i dont see him ever getting married or having kids, or being happy in general. i feel bad for him. to know someone who deserves so much love, thinks they arent worth love, that love isnt real, that it could never be real, its sad when a intelligent, brilliant beautiful man doesnt realize it.

or maybe i was the moron in the situation, maybe someone will come along and heal him, i pray to god they do despite the anger i feel towards him. im seriously trying to numb the anger, and just not feel anything negative. theres no love in my heart for him anymore.

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Diandra23
Knowflake

Posts: 1407
From: portugal
Registered: Mar 2007

posted December 13, 2007 10:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diandra23     Edit/Delete Message
THat behaviour doenst depend alone on the sun sign - i would see the whole chart and post and so ask about it as personality,potencialities,limitations etc

Dont discard someone cause of the sun sign please. If i would do that i wouldnt be with my love now - who has his Aqua Moon for example.

Its true that sometimes he seems detatched and thinking a lot in doubts about committments like marriage but its not a matter of love lacking but their need to have their space and liberty.
He has libra sun and cancer ac so he is also adoring and caring and honest. Human beings are much more complex than sun signs...fortunatelly

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LibraChickety
Knowflake

Posts: 261
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007

posted December 13, 2007 06:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraChickety     Edit/Delete Message
writesomething, reading what you wrote gave me serious chills. Everything you said about him is exactly how the Aqua was that I just recently got away from. You just feel soooo bad that this brilliant, BEAUTIFUL man just DOESN'T know his eye from his a*shole when it comes to communication/love/relationships, etc. There was just a magical, magical (and I can't stress magical) magnetism that is soooo hard to resist. BUT you know he is no good for you! Oh man, why oh why?

------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked ;)

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GemGemGem
Knowflake

Posts: 73
From:
Registered: Dec 2007

posted December 13, 2007 06:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemGemGem     Edit/Delete Message
It's wierd cause the Aqua I've been seeing keeps telling me he's ready for a girlfriend, and wants a commitment,and to get married and have kids. He told me he has never met anyone like me before, blah, blah, stuff that I cannot believe cause he's only known me for a month.

How can he actually feel what he says he feels when he barely knows me. That's what make me question him. maybe it's his Aries Moon? I've heard Aries are impulsive.

Also, due to my recent divorce, he knows that I am not ready for any kind of committment, or anything beyond friendship. Maybe that's why he's saying these things, cause he knows it's safe due to my state of mind. Maybe it's all a cat and mouse game. The fun of the chase...

All I know is that I don't want to get hurt again...not by him or any man.

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1862
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted December 13, 2007 06:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Nope...they are not that bad..

But it takes one to know one...

AND I absolutely LOVE them..

T


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LibraChickety
Knowflake

Posts: 261
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007

posted December 13, 2007 07:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraChickety     Edit/Delete Message
GemGemGem...my (ex) Aqua man used to tell me, BEFORE I EVEN MET HIM, that I was going to be his wife!!!! He would constantly tell me that he 1) thinks he's in love with me 2) Knows I'll like him - he just "knows", and 3) Asked to set our wedding date before I left one night (IM conversation).

But, he doesn't even know HOW to treat women!

AYE YI YI *rolls eyes*

And it's so hard to let yourself go after hearing those things. Because you make yourself believe it too.

He had moon and venus in Scorp.

------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked

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LibraChickety
Knowflake

Posts: 261
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007

posted December 13, 2007 07:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraChickety     Edit/Delete Message
Damnit, why can't I have a placement in Aquarius. I just want to understand you guys!!!

------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked

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GemGemGem
Knowflake

Posts: 73
From:
Registered: Dec 2007

posted December 13, 2007 08:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemGemGem     Edit/Delete Message
Oh my gooodness! It all makes sense now LibraChickety. I thought something was really strange that he would be professing these deep and intimate feeling so quickly.

I should have listened to my gut instinct that something was a little off. But you're right, that after hearing all those wonderful things, you want to believe it, and soon you so start to believe it and fall for him. That's probably about the time he starts pulling away.

I feel like such a fool for thinking he actually meant the things he said. It's funny cause the day after he said all those things to me, he text messages me that he's leaving for 2 weeks on vacation!

I guess he is the typical Aqua man.

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LibraChickety
Knowflake

Posts: 261
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007

posted December 13, 2007 11:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraChickety     Edit/Delete Message
GemGemGem, YES!!!! Exactly! You realize it after he has already manipulated you into doing things (in my case anyway) you would NEVER do in a right state of mind.

Seriously though, I don't think that Aquas normally "confess" so early like that - unless they intend on playing games and know it from the start! Messed up - all I have to say! Grrrr.

------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 1873
From: blank canvas
Registered: Jul 2005

posted December 13, 2007 11:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
they're beautiful.

they belong to the wind.

they'll never be yours.

The only way there is,
is to carry on.
Once they truly Love you,
they never let you go.
You have to believe that and
allow currents to meander
and meet again as they will,
as they most beautifully will.

Are you capable of that surrender?

Are you onto your own next adventure?


(hippychick understands )


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LibraChickety
Knowflake

Posts: 261
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007

posted December 14, 2007 12:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraChickety     Edit/Delete Message
Lialei, that's beautiful.

I feel bad about all of the Aqua bashing going on around here, but some of us have had bad experiences.

I was involved with one with some very unfavorable placements. I don't think he will EVER find anyone that will tolerate him. He's almost 30 and acts like a CHILD! I mean, CHILD. I have NEVER, EVER, EVER been involved with such a man. BUT, he's one of the most BEAUTIFUL, brilliant, captivating men I have ever met! He has this AMAZING potential! It's so sad. I am 100% positive that MOST Aquas are NOT like him! I just happened to come across a very emotionally disturbed individual is all.

And you know, that's the thing I want to clarify. I don't think it matters WHAT sign you are, because there are just some very CHILDISH individuals out there.

------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked ;)

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heart cakes
Knowflake

Posts: 740
From: canada
Registered: Sep 2007

posted December 14, 2007 12:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for heart cakes     Edit/Delete Message
okay here's my take, as an aquarian who recently had a very rough relationship for 3 years with an aquarian with an aries moon, like yours:

aquarians are ultimately VERY hard on themselves. we feel quite weird and awkward and do have a hard time with emotion. so it could run the gamut of insincerity (unlikely) to just plain overdoing it because it FEELS real but it doesn't come out quite so "naturally" or smoothly..

MY ex was a manipulator and a liar and a cheater, unfortunately. but i stuck it out and tried very hard to make it work because i sensed SO much potential in him. he really is a great guy DESPITE his cheating and lying, which were part of HIS insecurities (i do not take it personally).

i would say, be careful and make sure he is stable and steady and consistent in his devotions. if he is, you can probably trust it. but if something feels off and he seems to be hiding something (and you make sure it isn't just insecurity or something keeping him from expressing his emotions), then you might want to trust that.

aquarians do love VERY deeply and are usually very sincere. but we do have emotional.. difficulties on levels nearer to the surface..

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Sunny Mavericks
Knowflake

Posts: 197
From: CA, USA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted December 14, 2007 12:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sunny Mavericks     Edit/Delete Message
My ex is an Aqua sun, Aries moon. They are wonderful friends and fascinating people, but horrible lovers.

The thing about this combo is that they do like relationships. See, mine can't be without relationship and all of his end up being very long term. Despite that, he has never loved- and will openly admit that- and doesn't even know what love is. He gladly accepts it, but cannot return it- not even a little bit. I've known him for 4 years and am just now starting to see how important I am to him. When we dated it tore me up at a soul level.

I don't know what aspects in his chart cause this, but I'm going to throw it out there- he's extremely jealous and possessive (not violently so) and blunt to a fault. I'm talking painfully honest.

So while I hate to scare you away from someone that I don't know personally, I do want to warn you about what could be, based on my experience.

- Sunny

------------------
Sun Scorp
Moon Cancer
Leo Rising

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yourfriendinspirit
Moderator

Posts: 2179
From: California, USA
Registered: Oct 2006

posted December 14, 2007 04:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yourfriendinspirit     Edit/Delete Message
Let me tell you...
Every single one of you naysayers are confused!

Aquarius men are the embodiment of adventure! The trick to keeping one's attention is to be thier "first love" no matter how many they've dated before you or even if they've previously been married,
-Just be thier "first love"...
This is the trick to bliss with an Aquarius man.

Allow your emotions to overwhelm you, your passions to be expressed, your excitement to be unmatched, etc. Let the relationship unfold naturally with all the tingles and sillyness. Stop focusing on the complexities of relationships. This man needs to explore new territory (That's You) Don't bring your previous baggage, issues, ideas, or false thought patterns. Explore with him! You will be richly rewarded, seriously enlightened, and have fun in the process. Drop any expectations and just surrender to it all...

GemGemGem, this is perhaps the only man who will match and exceed your expectations in the mental department. Your synastry looks amazing, and I believe you are selling him short. Yes that Aries moon does make him more impulsive about love but it also makes him more idealistic and romantic! A magical combination. His placements say he's a one woman guy, he want's the fairytale and all that it entails. He's willing to give it too...

Regarding the marriage with MR. Sagittarius;
Remember there were four of you from the get go and this makes for automatic confusion of boundries...
Both you and he are duel signs.

MR. Aquarius is likely a better intimate partner also as he's experimental like you and will make you feel uninhibited likely for the first time in your life.

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Lana29865
Knowflake

Posts: 133
From:
Registered: Mar 2007

posted December 14, 2007 05:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lana29865     Edit/Delete Message
Guys, I find your posts about Aquas (Aqua MEN) highly interesting. I have posted a couple of times about Aquas in LL, as I've been involved with one for a very long time.

I'm ASC Leo, Virgo Sun, Libra Moon&Venus - I don't have any planets in Aqua, but I do have Sun&Uranus conjunction and a strong 11th house (and DC in Aqua).

My relationship with my Aqua is very strong but also VERY DIFFICULT. At times I have felt that he has a personality disorder (mainly narcissistic)...
He has Sun, ASC and Mercury in Aqua.

Your posts make me wonder... Is it really so that a normal Aqua man is supposed to be somewhat deranged from another person's perspective...? Is that just part of the "normal" Aqua personality? Where do you draw the line between normal Aqua behavior and deranged Aqua behavior..?

I am serious about this.

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heart cakes
Knowflake

Posts: 740
From: canada
Registered: Sep 2007

posted December 14, 2007 01:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for heart cakes     Edit/Delete Message
ooh, yfis, that totally turned me on, so i think you must have the key to the aquarian heart! yes, we LOOOOOVE to explore new territory and make everything new and fun and limitless!

i have to say.. aquarians are just as fallible (sp?) as any other sign. we are no better.. howEVER, yes, aquarians are different. on the one end of the gamut, deranged might be the appropriate word we don't want to be STUCK in any particular behaviour pattern (that doesn't mean we don't, much to our own dismay) which makes us seem eccentric and flighty and flakey and weird, etc, to just about everyone else. but our reasons are sound, to ourselves anyway. the problem is when we don't realize we are overdoing it, and when we get out of touch with the other person and maybe become too afraid of the emotional currents, etc, to stay IN them without feeling like shaking things up to keep it interesting or light or fun, what have you (or out of fear).

if you are a triple gemini, this should all be totally fine for you, as long as he is not being a creep. i can't remember forsure but i don't think i saw any warning signs in your post other than your fears that he is expressing his love for you rather early. i can't comment on that, but i dont' think it's anything to worry about in itself, as long as it seems sincere and seems to fit with his other behaviours toward you, and DOESN'T seem like an overreaching due to an imbalance in himself.

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GemGemGem
Knowflake

Posts: 73
From:
Registered: Dec 2007

posted December 14, 2007 03:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemGemGem     Edit/Delete Message
I appreciate everyone's replies and words of advice. It is amazing to me the broad spectrum of different experiences people have had with this sign. There could be a whole book written on the complexities of Aquarians alone.

I think there is definitely something to be said about loving without putting retraints or expectations on people. Letting people belong to the universe instead of trying to make them belong to us. I find myself to be rather possesive sometimes of my love interests. I think when a person has an aquarian in their life, the universe is opening their eyes to a new kind of love, one that is free of all chains and restrictions. If there are no bounds or limitations put upon eachother, than there is an infinite amount of love that can be given and received.

Right now, I value this man's friendship and the times we spend together, and I will leave it at that. No expectations for anything else. (Although honestly speaking, the physical attraction I feel for him is so strange and strong. I usually have to take a cold shower after one of our meetings.) :P


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GemGemGem
Knowflake

Posts: 73
From:
Registered: Dec 2007

posted December 15, 2007 12:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemGemGem     Edit/Delete Message
This "dropping of any expectations and just surrendering to it all" for the Aquarian man is not as easy as I'd hoped. The thing is, it's hard to not take these aquarian "disappearing" acts personally.

He confesses all these intimate feelings to me, then disappears on vacation with no emails, calls or even a text message. It makes me feel like he did not really mean the things he said to me, which makes me doubt the sincerity of his words, which in turn makes me doubt him.

This doesn't bother me enough to keep me up at night or anything, but the thought crosses my mind from time to time, and puts me off a little.

If I genuinely like someone, even if I'm away on vacation, I still think about them, and send them quick text message saying hello at the least. If I like someone I cannot just forget them. The fact that he can just forget me like this makes me feel like he was not genuine in his feelings for me.

I feel like I have the bare minimum expectations from him such as a text message saying hi, if he's disappeared for 2 weeks.
So if i want to be with this guy, I shouldn't even have these bare minimum expectations?

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LibraChickety
Knowflake

Posts: 261
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007

posted December 15, 2007 01:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraChickety     Edit/Delete Message
Yep, absolutely.

My (ex) Aqua guy wouldn't even REPLY to mine! THAT is just completely and utterly RUDE. I don't think they know what COMMON COURTESY is. And, that's what makes them so damn frustrating. If you aren't willing to accept that they ARE NOT normal in that aspect, then you are definitely going to have trouble. And, I can identify with you in wanting to have some warm verbal acknowledgement of your existence! Ha! I really wish you luck!

I'm sorry, but how can all of these Aquas defend themselves and say that they 'have emotions' but cannot even justify being RUDE to someone or the GAME PLAYING?

------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked ;)

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yourfriendinspirit
Moderator

Posts: 2179
From: California, USA
Registered: Oct 2006

posted December 15, 2007 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yourfriendinspirit     Edit/Delete Message
You said:
"He confesses all these intimate feelings to me, then disappears on vacation with no emails, calls or even a text message. It makes me feel like he did not really mean the things he said to me, which makes me doubt the sincerity of his words, which in turn makes me doubt him."

The important part is in bold above...
He didn't disappear off the face of the earth did he, LOL! Someone knows where he is...

Emails, calls, and text message's are not what vacations are about. Generally we vacation to avoid these things!

All the rest of your statement are steps in your own mind, of your own demise.
Mercury is working overtime I tell ya'!

You said:
"If I genuinely like someone, even if I'm away on vacation, I still think about them, and send them quick text message saying hello at the least."

Key words being highlighted...

This is you!

You are a Gemini, [The sign of the communicator!]

He however is the sign of the exploror, inventor, etc. these things take alone time and other non-romantic contacts too...

I would view you having to have continuous contact as immature and clingy.
If he's expressed how he feels and his actions backed them up...then really what is the big deal, if he goes on vacations here and there? Really are you questioning his motives, or your own insecurities?

In a mature loving relationship your word is your word. It does not change because you are away from that person. It resumes stronger when you return. Trust me, he's thinking about you! If you continue to text him over and over he's likely thinking that you are an insecure lunatic rather than that sweet intelligent girl who just stole his heart though, LOL!

So, in short; Have some respect for yourself.
It's not his job to make you feel secure.
It's your responsiblity to find this within yourself.
Hope this makes sense?

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 6266
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted December 15, 2007 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
Lia,

quote:
they're beautiful.
they belong to the wind.

they'll never be yours.

The only way there is,
is to carry on.
Once they truly Love you,
they never let you go.
You have to believe that and
allow currents to meander
and meet again as they will,
as they most beautifully will.

Are you capable of that surrender?

Are you onto your own next adventure?



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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 6266
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted December 15, 2007 05:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
In general...

The art of loving, for Aquarians,
does not consist in meeting the expectations of a loved one,
but, in imposing as few expectations on a loved one as possible.

Also,
Aquas are unpredictable, not insincere.

If he vows eternal love one day,
and wont pick up the phone the next,
there is no contradiction there;
not in the heart of an Aqua.

If you believed he was sincere,
well, so did he.

"Indeed, indeed, Repentance oft before I swore -
but was I sober when I swore?
And then, and then came Spring, and Rose-in-hand
My thread-bare Penitence apieces tore."
~ Omar


"Love is only a feeling."
~ The Darkness
http://youtube.com/watch?v=50EALZU4D6A&feature=related


HSC
Sun/Venus/Uranus
Aquarius Moon
Aqua Intercepted 1st house

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heart cakes
Knowflake

Posts: 740
From: canada
Registered: Sep 2007

posted December 15, 2007 05:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for heart cakes     Edit/Delete Message
heart shaped cross, you got me thinking. while i am a perhaps less typical aquarian in some respects (i can be very insecure, emotional and clingy), ultimately i pretty much agree that love is freedom.

it reminded me of some of my favourite quote from a little book called "the way to love" by anthony de mello:

"i leave you free to be yourself: to think your thoughts, indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in ways that you decide are to your liking"..

oh my gosh, i'm rereading some of this and i think i have to go start a new thread and type up this chapter. i love this little book! come find it, will you HSC, and tell me what you think?
and i agree with yfis, too.


edit: here is the link:

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/003016.html

if anyone here is really interested in how an aquarian understands love, i think this summarizes it pretty well..

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