posted January 12, 2012 06:19 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
*I* think these intense synastries are repeats of our childhood. I don't believe in past lives, as many on here, do, so I do not add that, to the mix.

I m relationship with the exact nessus/deja, I felt I would die without him, as if breath could not stay in my body. How could it just be him? It had to be something deeper, such as my relationship with my mother, where I almost did die

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Do you mean the Nessus/Dejan square we have?

It is intense...There have been plenty of times I feel fine without him - and even preoccupy myself with fantasies of some other lover...I think my childhood and my parents' split, my single mother, those experiences of loss and now, being an adult - experiencing the loss for myself again and for my daughter make the tragedy unbearable.

But there is definitely a feeling that no matter how many incongruities we have, no matter how many arguments we have - he is the one I will inevitably grow old with. I know he feels it too - he is, as he's told me, "trying to move on"...I've been there, done that - at a pace much faster than him. There's a very real sense I'm being punished now (with a woman who is not only hideous and disturbingly trying to have him push what family connection we had out); but also that he will inevitably come back to a place of wanting "us" again.

posted January 12, 2012 06:50 PM            

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posted January 12, 2012 07:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Wild Places:
just sent you a bunch of photos from my computer, rather than my iphone - hopefully it works.

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I will look. Can't wait to see you all

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 13, 2012 09:42 AM            

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posted January 13, 2012 09:54 AM            

Have you tried to see it expansively? Like, it's OK to have him in your life and LOVE him even but that he is not the man you need to be committed to and with?

posted January 13, 2012 11:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Wild Places:
Dear Ami and all synastry geniuses...

I'm posting my synastry chart with someone who no matter how many times I try -- I can't let go of.

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Oh Wild Places.... I feel your pain! I'm going through a similar situation right now *tears

posted January 13, 2012 12:33 PM            

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posted January 13, 2012 12:54 PM            

I am someone people come to with obsessive relationships and ask why. Logically speaking, if one is are an adult and feels one will die, if a lover leaves , there must be something more than meets the eye. The Nessus/Dejaneria relationship has this feeling. When the person snubs you, you feel as if the floor will open up and swallow you. I have seen many people go through the same thing enough to begin to formulate some ideas.

I think that both people have childhood abuse. In each natal chart, you will find asteroids for pain, betrayal and abuse, prominent. In synastry( the chart which compares one person’s natal chart with another), the Nessus and Dejaneria will connect, strongly. The current relationship will bring up the horribly painful childhood abuse . The person feels as if he is re-living it. Of course, the pain will be horrendous,unspeakable. I believe that the current Nessus/ Dejaneria relationship is like an instant replay, in football, of the repressed emotions from childhood. That is why it is so intense, and so unexplainable, at the same time. Please, comment on anything I write, as usual. I welcome your comments.

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posted January 13, 2012 02:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I just e mailed you. I got so much info from all the pictures. I could feel the passion of the relationship, just from looking at him.

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Thanks Ami! I got your email -- yes, passion -- both good and bad.

posted January 13, 2012 02:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Wild Places:
Thanks Ami! I got your email -- yes, passion -- both good and bad.

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posted January 13, 2012 02:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anongrl10:
His Sun on your Vertex could be what binds you together no matter what.

Have you tried to see it expansively? Like, it's OK to have him in your life and LOVE him even but that he is not the man you need to be committed to and with?

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It's a good way to look at it Anongrl -- in fact, I suppose it's my vascillation and ability to detach and be expansive about our love that has led him to a place of fear/mistrust. I feel like I know we'll always be 'together' in some form - but watching our daughter grow so fast, feeling the anguish of our family being so separated (even by geography), and longing to build dreams together and have the life we once dreamed of when we were lovers and then when we learned of our pregnancy...

still, something always happens where i realize we aren't going to work out as a couple -- and i know we'll always have our love. something about now though - it's even harder to bear than when he actually left me to move to where he is (3 hours away)...it feels like we'll never get to try again.

sorry to be so whiney -- that's just where my heart is right now. he's never told me to walk away. he's got a giant wall around his heart that i thought i would always know the secret entry through...now, like anyone else - i'm on the other side of the wall, the moat, and every other device.

posted January 13, 2012 02:33 PM            

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posted January 13, 2012 02:34 PM            

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posted January 13, 2012 02:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
WHY Do Nessus and Dejaneria Relationships Feel Like They Will Kill Us?
By amiann | Published: January 13, 2012

I am someone people come to with obsessive relationships and ask why. Logically speaking, if one is are an adult and feels one will die, if a lover leaves , there must be something more than meets the eye. The Nessus/Dejaneria relationship has this feeling. When the person snubs you, you feel as if the floor will open up and swallow you. I have seen many people go through the same thing enough to begin to formulate some ideas.

I think that both people have childhood abuse. In each natal chart, you will find asteroids for pain, betrayal and abuse, prominent. In synastry( the chart which compares one person’s natal chart with another), the Nessus and Dejaneria will connect, strongly. The current relationship will bring up the horribly painful childhood abuse . The person feels as if he is re-living it. Of course, the pain will be horrendous,unspeakable. I believe that the current Nessus/ Dejaneria relationship is like an instant replay, in football, of the repressed emotions from childhood. That is why it is so intense, and so unexplainable, at the same time. Please, comment on anything I write, as usual. I welcome your comments.

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Wow! At first, our relationship never had any of those feelings (then again, what honeymoon relationship does)...but after our daughter was born, and we moved to the East Coast with his parents -- oh wow! Suddenly, I realized what he grew up with. His mother was AWFUL to him. And, no matter how much I loved him, or how well-intended, there is something in the way I am in the world, and particularly with him - that conjures up that woman. It's my tough love style - whereas she is completely abusive. When we were there, we realized that his mother and my father are both Narcissists (they have the PD), and it became a bond between us, an opportunity to learn more and heal. We ended up having to leave his parents' home after a traumatic incident wherein his mother (after months of outwardly hating me, threatened my safety)...When we moved West again, he never wanted to speak to his parents again - I discouraged this, and in fact, for more than a year, I was the only conduit they had to contact their granddaughter as well as learn how he was doing.

Meanwhile, my own repressed feelings about my father began to bubble up during that time - and my ex began to make contact with him - which I was infuriated about. Looking back on it, it wasn't much different really, than the best intentions I had with his parents and our daughter...But that's just it - we always receive eachothers' best as the worst, mistrusting of one another's love as we do our parents'.

The time when things came to a head, his mother had become gravously ill - she was on her deathbed it seemed. His father didn't even call him to tell him (he's an only child! - this is how sick that family is), she'd come down with a debilitating, paralyzing condition, which usually is fatal. She was in the hospital for weeks - he found out on a facebook post from a cousin.

Anyways (sorry this story is so epic)...at that time, he finally spoke with her, realizing no matter what she was like, she was his mother. She, from the hospital, told me she'd had a vision, spoken to God, and her biggest regret in life was how she'd treated me. She wept with what seemed to be the sincerest of tears...I honestly didn't need any of that - a simple, I'm sorry, was all I ever wanted - and acceptance. I told her I forgave her and to focus on getting better. Within a week, she was on her way to recovery (thankfully), and back to speaking badly about me behind my back. I couldn't believe it! I felt I would never trust her again...I still do. I don't bare her any ill-will, but I know he felt I caused the rift between him and his mother (despite his parents being awful)...it's easier to remember history the way it serves us.

posted January 13, 2012 03:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
WP You are NOT whiney. Thank Goodness, you did not see me when I came to LL. I was the Queen of Whiners. No comments, anyone

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Hahaha!
I wish I knew all of the code for those emoticons (insert laughing my ass off here)...

posted January 13, 2012 03:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Wild Places:
Hahaha!
I wish I knew all of the code for those emoticons (insert laughing my ass off here)...

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LOL

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posted January 13, 2012 03:04 PM            

I am so glad my article resonated with you!

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posted January 13, 2012 03:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Wild Places:
did you have a chance to read what i wrote about orpheus/eurydice asteroids? what do you think?

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I did not see it. Where is it? Could you link it? I am ready to add some more asteroid to my arsenal lol

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posted January 13, 2012 04:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Wild Places:
Ami - I just noticed three things:

His Pholus conjuncts my Juno exactly the same as our daughter (smacking my head, you've got to be kidding?!)

His Nessus conjunct my Moon - what is the significance?

My Lilith conjunct his Dejan - significance?

These asteroids...

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posted January 13, 2012 04:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Wild Places:
I just did my own test of two asteroids, not knowing what they mean in astrology; but knowing the mythology well...

My Eurydice is conjunct EXACT his Orpheus...

I'm sure these two asteroids have been explored here before - but here is the myth from wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurydice

also...
http://www.greecegreek.com/Mythology/orpheus-eurydice.html

We really are the stuff tragedies are made of...

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posted January 13, 2012 04:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Wild Places:
Wondering about these too...

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These are BIG! I will describe them when I get back!

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