posted September 15, 2013 11:32 AM            

He replied.

He said he hadn't signed into his account "in like forever."

I had asked him to let me know if even talking to me at all would be awkward.

His reply, "It's not really that awkward, maybe a little lol."

His whole message:

9:36:59 AM
hey sorry, i havent been on yahoo in forever

9:37:15 AM
yes i have started classes and things are great so far : )

9:38:50 AM
its not really that awkward, maybe a little lol

9:39:30 AM
well have a good rest of the day

9:39:32 AM
later

I replied with this:

No worries

posted September 15, 2013 11:36 AM            

It seems like his life and stuff is all better without me and he doesn't need, want or really care to have me in it.

That's fine. That's how things are.

Again I don't feel much or anything except the feeling of acceptance-- "Ok, no worries. I knew it would be like this anyway."

posted September 15, 2013 01:35 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by redshoes:
(((Dreaming)))

Your gut feeling was always spot on, but as women we always *hope* they will step up some ...often time they dont. At least you know now and you can let go
What is going on with the flaky people lately, am hearing these stories over and over!

---

I saw the message late night but then this site wasn't working for me.
I wanted to tell you guys yesterday as soon as I got the message.

Anyway, I feel like this calm presence of I knew it! haha

Remarkable how many different emotions I endured of my time with him and after him. Even in these last couple of weeks. It's been quite literally crrrraaaazy. hehe

It's ironic I was out at a training yesterday and I thought...."hmm.. Why would he care about me?" Yes, this was during the training.
And it hit me, that he wouldn't. So I said internally, F*&^ it. lol

You know another thing that hit me.....

posted September 15, 2013 01:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by redshoes:
Glad you are feeling good! It is what is known as *inner bliss* ~ i gain this from going withing during meditation and afterwards...oh wow!

What makes you think he is in a good place....the tower is someone who is going through a very shaky time?

---

Well he seems happy and said things were going great for him. He's in school studying for some science related stuff, acting, being a free agent, moved out, no one to tell him anything, no one to ask permission from, no one to consult, meeting new people, having new experiences. I doubt that could lead to anything but happiness.

posted September 15, 2013 02:57 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by redshoes:
Hmmmm sometimes things on the surface can be deceiving...if you want me to pull some cards around it, just ask?

I have known people who are seemingly very happy but it is just surface stuff at times

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Sure, that would be nice.
Thank you.

posted September 15, 2013 03:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by redshoes:
Dreaming, what is ali's sun sign?

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posted September 15, 2013 04:29 PM            

okay! i feel he is probably okay with the day to day things and his direction generally as in career etc,but the hanged man and 8 swords shows some kind of stunted growth, am thinking this could be emotionally or spiritually in some way....he is feeling restricted with the 8 swords and the hanged man shows that he has had to surrender something in his life

posted September 15, 2013 06:25 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by redshoes:
9 coins (again) he seems ok financially
hanged man
eight swords

okay! i feel he is probably okay with the day to day things and his direction generally as in career etc,but the hanged man and 8 swords shows some kind of stunted growth, am thinking this could be emotionally or spiritually in some way....he is feeling restricted with the 8 swords and the hanged man shows that he has had to surrender something in his life

As i said before, the surface stuff sometimes hides what is going on underneath...hope that helps! xx

---

Do you think what you drew means that he is more self-sufficient, confident, practical (nine of pentacles); he waited on finding a true love but just decided to settle or is still waiting or is waiting for a response(hanged man); he's playing the victim and not taking responsibility for his bad habits/ traits/ actions that led to his situation (eight of swords)?

I think with him and I, he still does not acknowledge his role in the mess. I do blame him a lot but I no longer voice it because it's pointless. I think that allows him to think that he was in the right, and that my leaving him was a cruel act. Maybe since I was not talking to him or would talk formally then change my mind again, he might have felt like he was in a hanged man position?

What do you think he thinks of or feels for me?
Or even what do you think I feel for or think of him?

Maybe the fact that I constantly remind myself of this makes it fresh for me while he buried it, tossed the shovel and moved on so I'm not even in the farthest point of his mind or heart.

Anyway, if you could pull cards for those questions that would be great.

Do you have questions to ask me? I will pull cards for you, of course.

posted September 15, 2013 06:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by redshoes:
wow just realised he got the 9 coins AND hanged man before,,!!

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posted September 18, 2013 10:13 PM            

What the heck is wrong with me?

Why can't I let this thing go?

I feel like weeping and then not weeping at the same time.
I feel like such a fool, idiot and weakling because I can't just stand up and brush off.

When will I let go of this? Why am I holding on? Do I have unfinished business to deal with? I genuinely am lost. I'm putting up a front like I know what I'm supposed to do and that nothing affects me but I want to break down and cry right now....

He is totally happy and has moved on. It hurts. I can't even talk to him about this. I feel like he'll just tell me to grow up and move on. That would hurt the most.

posted September 20, 2013 04:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dreaming111:

What the heck is wrong with me?

Why can't I let this thing go?

I feel like weeping and then not weeping at the same time.
I feel like such a fool, idiot and weakling because I can't just stand up and brush off.

When will I let go of this? Why am I holding on? Do I have unfinished business to deal with? I genuinely am lost. I'm putting up a front like I know what I'm supposed to do and that nothing affects me but I want to break down and cry right now....

He is totally happy and has moved on. It hurts. I can't even talk to him about this. I feel like he'll just tell me to grow up and move on. That would hurt the most.

. . . . . Help

---

Hi dreaming!

posted September 21, 2013 01:01 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bethbabe:
Hi dreaming!

here are my two cents. i am very sorry that this happeened. What i found to be super effective was by screaming and yelling at him and letting every hurt and pain out! Cuss and hit him all you want if he lets you because you are holding back your frustration and anger!!

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Hehe. Yeah that would be good. I just don't think I could. We are barely talking as it is. I would say that we aren't talking. Then it's been a while. So to bring up old things... I doubt he would care or would bother with the conversation. That would probably make me even more upset. And again, he's seem happy and totally content. I doubt he even thinks about us, it, me.

It's just weird...

I'll just punch a pillow. LOL

Thank you for your advice. If I get the chance, I'll wring his neck. haha

posted September 22, 2013 11:53 AM            

Thanks so much.

It didn't even cross my mind.

I'm really glad you suggested this.

posted September 22, 2013 11:42 PM            

The emperor, The fool R, The high priestess.

How would you interpret this as?

Thanks

posted September 23, 2013 01:08 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dreaming111:
Hehe. Yeah that would be good. I just don't think I could. We are barely talking as it is. I would say that we aren't talking. Then it's been a while. So to bring up old things... I doubt he would care or would bother with the conversation. That would probably make me even more upset. And again, he's seem happy and totally content. I doubt he even thinks about us, it, me.

It's just weird...

I'll just punch a pillow. LOL

Thank you for your advice. If I get the chance, I'll wring his neck. haha

Would you like a reading?

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Hey dreaming! sorry about the late response! I have been....well down and busy lately! I know this will take time to heal and I really hope the best for you and for all women who have been in your shoes (our shoes, lol).

I would really appreciate a reading if you don't mind. My mom's going through a final divorce and she's been coping it well. I, on the other hand, have been stressed out with school and work. I am a nursing student and am currently in one of the toughest terms in my program..i'm taking pediatrics and obstetrics (not my favorite areas), and I hope I can pass my classes this term. Could you please do a reading and see if I'll successfully pass this term please? Despite whether the reading turns out to be good or bad, I am still going to give my 100% in passing the classes!

posted September 23, 2013 03:52 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dreaming111:
RS,

Thanks so much.

It didn't even cross my mind.

I'm really glad you suggested this.

How are you?
How's your son?

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You are welcome. i guess the more we do to heal the stuff, the healthier it is for us. I have decided from now on to put my first. i am feeling much stronger now a decision has been reached to move on. My son is great!! He is one of the more mature males in my life...he is 14 lol