posted October 16, 2002 09:46 PM         

Now, if you have a sensation that you made something terrible to your husband in a past life, it can be true, why not?

There are great books that talk about this subject , but unhappily I don't have how to indicate them since they are Brazilian authors' books and I'm quite sure that they are not published in another language.

In my case, if my dreams are really memoirs of past lives I never had this guilty sensation.
But each case is a case.

Yes, I know the history of the Jews of Thessaloniki and if my memory is not failing they were deported to Auschwitz-Birkenau that was located in Poland.

Stella,I am not an expert in anything, but I have an enormous curiosity for everything.
Therefore I just wrote my opinion.
Just that.

But,I want to ask you one thing,if you don't mind - Why do you have this feeling ?
Please ,feel free to not answer if this is not confortable for you,ok ?

Take care
Jakie

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas--
Everybody's looking for something.

Eurythmics

posted October 17, 2002 12:07 PM         

I began being interested for past lives after my divorce.
In reality I was always interested in this kind of subject , but indeed, to the point of studying , I began 18 months ago.
Brian Weiss's first book that I read in 1991 was " Many Lives, many masters " and I believe that you should begin with this one.

I have another excellent book that talks about the nodes, " L'Astrologie Karmique " Dorothée Koechlin de Bizemont. In this book the author approaches the knowledge of past lives through Edgar Cayce's astrology.
You may also try www.google.com and search for "karmic astrology"... maybe you will find web sites to help you.

I know what you are feeling, it's an almost uncontrollable desire to find answers.
Don't worry, you will find them. When the disciple is ready the master appears.
As for your boyfriend that died, you don't have to feel bad, life have it's own purpose, nothing is by chance and he didn't die because of you, his mission was accomplishedit . All of us have our hour time to came and to leave.

All these feelings in relation to the Jews, Poland,Greece, your husband, the city -and the house- that you live, in my opinion they should be interlinked. If not in the present, maybe in the past.

However I should tell you one thing, when I began to study about past lives, when I began my interior search, it was as if I was stimulating my third eye. Today I have these dreams,almost every day, my intuition is so powerful that scares me and I feel mys-elf much more connected than before.
If I have a gift, as Ra said, I increased the potential of this gift.
So, the question is... Am I prepared for this gift ?
Today,I believe that we should be careful with what we want 'cause we may get it.

I am not saying that you should give up, especially because I'm a person that don't give up of anything that I intend to do, just go slowly and remember that you may find something that will bother you,hurt you,so you must be prepared.

posted October 17, 2002 12:14 PM         

I was thinking so much about this

quote:

---

I suppose there is more that can be seen in this dream, but this the short version. There can be seen something personal in the relationship between you, your ex, and your daughter - and I get the impression that there could be something from childhood concerning your parents, and a possible connecting pattern to your adult relationships.

---

Do you have something to tell me or may I tell you first ?

Jaqueline

posted October 17, 2002 01:19 PM         

God ettermiddag, Stella.

Falo so um. Isto e so uma ilusao.

But seriously, please tell me anything you wish. From the dream, I can only see that something is there between all of you, but the exact situations I cannot clearly see.

I received your e-mail, but something is not properly working. I will try the link again later.

And I do not mean to write so short, when you have written so long! It is only because of my time constraints that I am writing so little. Please understand that I could probably speak with you all day about these matters, if time allowed!

And I know precisely "where you are" concerning the gifts that you are beginning to perceive. The questions you ask, and the statements you make are exactly the same for all those who have come to the place you are. Indeed, are you ready? Many do not cross this line. But you have the heart which is necessary, I think!

So, there is no "if" in your "gift", it is only a matter of time and readiness.

Oh, and Cayce is my guru!

Peace to you.

posted October 17, 2002 10:54 PM         

I understand your problem with time and I see the effort that you do to answer everyone always in an affectionate way, don't worry. And please take your time.

Cayce emphasized that each one of us knows inwardly everything that is necessary to know regarding to ourselves in the past, in the present and in the future.
Then, I am the best source of information about myself, being or not conscious of this !

That's why I began to think that I know myself for so many years and I don't get to interpret my own dreams... you that doesn't know absolutely nothing about me, should have a feeling that you're a blind in the middle of a shooting.
I will try to increase the information.

My father was atheistic. He died when I was seventeen . He was cold, rigorous, owner of the truth, his desires were orders, or at least he would like them to be. He gave me everything that money is capable to buy, but I don't remember to have received a kiss or a hug along seventeen years.
When I was child he was violent with me and beat me .
I took more than twenty years to forgive him. In fact I only forgave him this year.
My mother tells me that he loved me 'cause he chose my name

In spite of being an extremely intelligent man, he disapproved everything that I read.
The first book that I read was "La increíble y triste Historia de la cándida Eréndira y de su abuela desalmada" ("The incredible and sad history of Candida Erendira and her heartless grandmother")- Gabriel Garcia Marquez who also wrote "One hundred years of solitude ".
The second was "The catcher in the rye" - J.D Salinger.
I agree that none of these two books were exactly what we can call 'the best reading' for a 14 /15 year-old girl... but they practically had fallen on my head
I don't know if you know the history of the first one, but this book became an enigma for all my life.

Backing to my father, things only got worse when I began to defend - the stranger theory for him - that there was life in other planets...
We lived as dog and cat.

My mother is a loving person, but her ideas in relation to life are quite different from mine.
I love her a lot and we are best friends, but we disagreed in several points.
What doesn't turn our relationship difficult is that age taught me to be quiet and not try to prove my point of view if someone is not willing to understand it.
About my ex husband,he decided to repeat the pattern of my father's behavior and also turned violent, for this reason I got divorced.
__________________________________________________________________

When I entered in my car today, somebody had pushed the side rear mirror. While I adjusted the mirror something quite interesting came into my mind:Through the side rear mirror I can see the past in front of me.
I will have to stop writing now. Maybe I still return today.

Thanks Ra ...and take care

Jaqueline

Stella, don't leave...stay with us, I appreciate your ideas and your thoughts

When the moon is in the Seventh House
and Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
and love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius

posted October 18, 2002 10:33 AM         

Stella, vi oensker De velkommen "ri denne hesten"!! So you need not apologize. I have only just now read all of your posts in this topic, and there is no doubt in my mind that you are correct in your perceptions of your past-lives so far. I would love to hear any dreams you may currently be having that you are curious about.

Jaqueline, thank you so much for that personal information. It is very open of you to post such things, and verifies my perceptions even further. You are an amazing person, and I look forward to a continuation of these talks (I will eventually get more time!).

"Through the side rear mirror I can see the past in front of me." That is ... an enlightened statement! A profound thought to be sure!! Thank you for sharing that. I LOVE it! That type of thought indicates to me that you have a certain quality of balance that can take you anywhere! WOW!

posted October 18, 2002 04:03 PM         

And I will look at your dream more closely when I get the chance.

posted October 18, 2002 04:20 PM         

Unhappily I don't know any word in Greek, nor in Norwegian, so,"You are welcome !"
I admit that I had to recover to answer to you both. I felt a huge emotion when I read your answers and the tears came.

I could talk about the physical aggressions for pages and pages, but I don't want to transform this in a big deal. The physical pain is irrelevant in comparison with the pain of the soul. I am a happy and optimistic person, some think I am even too much optimist. My friends say that I cheer their lives, and in fact I make them laugh with my stories. I am always telling funny stories and usually I feel a gret pleasure with my life.

As you can see,the scars are in my soul.

I want to say that I was never afraid of my father, and that was the great problem among us. I was the only that had courage to face him. That's why he beat me. But when I was 11 years old I made the aggressions stop. The problem is that I ripened before the time. Do you know when a fruit is not ripe enough and we have to wrap it in a newspaper page ? Like this the fruit will be ready to be eaten . But,the fruit ripen before the time. It is ready without being ready.

As for your dreams, you can tell them all for me, since I am not a realist person,I will be fascinated in reading them, but I don't have how to help you interprets them. I think they are memories, but I know nothing about dreams. That is a job for the knowledge and the intuition of Ra.

When you ask me how to use the intuition, how to use these messages that comes through the dreams... I am not sure about the answer. But I believe that the purpose it's for helping somebody even ourselves.

When that happens, we began the connection with our Higher Self, through the spiritual knowledge, we convinced ourselves of a larger force, through the knowledge of this larger force, we got in touch with the two laws that are really important for humanity, Love and Forgiveness.

Now, I am able to teach my son and daughther better values , I am able to teach my mom that she must forgive (she's scorpio as my father was ). ....
...I must stop now, but I'll be back...

Jakie

posted October 18, 2002 08:20 PM         

I agree, the energy of this thread is wonderful and for me energy is everything.

I need to tell you something that happens every time I begin to write something to you, a music comes in my mind and doesn't leave. I only know a sentence of this music: "Time is on my side, yes it is"... and I keep repeating this sentence the whole time.

It's me who must thank you for your kindness when your hear me.

In relation to the thought that I head , I am happy to share something that I found so clear. Unhappily I don't have only -according to your words -enlightened statement to share.
There's a dark side also . But I know that the light will cover the darkness.

I had the same problem with time that you have .
I prayed and asked for orientation to solve this problem. As I got, I will put your name in my prayers ... but for selfish reasons !

The peace is with us
Jaqueline

I hope that this make sense...

posted October 19, 2002 12:27 PM         

I wrote this yesterday for you, I felt that something ( or someone ) told me that I should write... but I solved no to post here, the reason I don't know...
Today when I read what you wrote I decided to post

quote:

---

There are so many questions without answers!
Who can help us?
The wisdom of time!
That, every day, teachs us a new lesson.
More time, more lessons... but we have to have patience. I decides to stop the questions, always believe in the continuation of life and in the fact that the wisdom belongs to who notices the right moment.

I know that it is necessary patience.
All the time I have to remind that the wait ripens and make us aware.
The wisdom of time doesn't allow disputes.
It's unbeatable.
The time will come.
While I wait for the answers I meditate and I try to understand everything that I lived and why I lived.
Sometimes what we see as unhappiness can be the way that life is using to make us more conscious and more prepared to live better.
One day everything that is bad in our life will end.

We should not forget the fundamental: our destiny is happiness. One day we will understand how the badly, the pain and the sadness are illusory.
They are learning phases. Moments of reflection.

Who created us is "The Perfect kindness". Why would destine us the pain ? Our destiny is the beauty, the light, the love.
I put in the hands of God what I cannot change. I chose the happinessand. I trust in life .

Be happy ,make your best and ask in prayers to see the truth.
It's only what we needed to do.
Have faith in the kindness and live with happiness.
Don't keep any sadness in your heart. What you don't know or you cannot solve, ask help to God.Or whatever the name you call.
We were created for happiness. Our destiny is that. As soon we notice that, the more it will be real for us.

The truth is that everything gets complicated when we want to drive the facts. To control the facts.
We should not worry nor want to drive the facts but we should be attentive to do the appropriate in the exact moment. We should control our anxiety, and know that life is wiser and always makes the best.

When nothing happens, it's because the best is to do anything.
How many times has our precipitation makes our life worst ?
I learned how to cultivate the happiness, to feel the kindness, the forgiveness and the love.
When we choose that in our life and learn how to cultivate those feelings , we will have it to give and we will know how.

---

Stella,do you really believe in reincarnation ? Do you believe that our family has a karmic purpose in our life ? Do you believe in spirits ? Do you believe that there are spirits among us ?

If you say YES to those questions,maybe I have something for you.

Jakie

posted October 19, 2002 12:34 PM         

I met a boy in the country of São Paulo .I was spending vacation at my uncles' farm and he lived there.
He saw me two or three times and knew nothing about my life .He gave me this book and wrote at the first page:
" To Jacqueline (Erendira)."
A small book as a gift for you to remember and have fun.
Goodbye

And this is the story for you remember and maybe Ra doesn't know :

quote:

---

Erendira was a girl that lost her parents and lived with her grandmother.
The grandmother was very rich but all her treasures were kept at an enormous house where the two lived .

That house was very big and the grandmother forced Erendira to clean all the house everyday.
The girl was small and thin , but she worked of the dawn until nightfall for her grandmother.
One day Erendira was very tired and when she lied down to sleep she dropped the candle that she had taken to her room.
The candle caused a fire and the house was totally destroyed .
But the two survived .

Starting from that day to recover her damage the grandmother transformed her granddaughter in a prostitute.
The old lady bought a coach and they walked from city to city "selling" Erendira .

Because she was very beautiful and have an angel face the men stood in line to possess Erendira.
She didn't complain, she didn't cry nor screamed,she just obeyed her grandmother.

Years passed until she met a beautiful boy. Ulisses.
This boy fell in love madly with her but he was different... he had wings .
He was an angel .

Erendira asked him to kill her grandmother and he said that for being an angel he could not make such thing .
She asked, implored and he ended up giving in.

Then Ulisses killed the woman with his own hands.
And, still with the old lady's blood in his hands, he saw when Erendira began to run .

She was finally free.
So,Erendira ran.
She ran until his eyes could not see her anymore, and nobody never again heard to talk about her and the misfortune that fell in her life.

---

posted October 19, 2002 05:56 PM         

Jakie without the 'c' is ok !

Stella I can't stop laughing...

This week I wanted to have a nice dream also and I did exactly what you did...so I dreamed that I was married with Tom Cruise and we were giving a party, but as nor in dream I make the right thing, and the house was so huge, I left for the wrong door and when I tried to return, I was impeded because nobody believed that I was Mrs. Tom Cruise

Then I ask to mys-elf : Why not Richard Gere ? So beautiful, so Buddhist... but Tom Cruise is so ' baby face'

I understand perfectly how it's difficult to write about our parents, their mistakes and defects. After all, father and mother should be perfect, ours super heroes, those that never made mistakes and they must be always ready to rescue us from dangers.
But, unhappily they are not like that, they are human beings and imperfect, like us.

And the same will happen to our children, they will have mistakes and successes, they will proceed for right and wrong roads.
And the great joy and only secret of life is when we got to love them with no condition.
"I love you, not because you are good or bad, ugly or beautiful, makes everything right or wrong, I love you with your defects and qualities and I hope that you love me with my defects and my qualities."

Is it difficult?
No, it is almost impossible!
But in life, impossible it's only what we don't want, the whole rest is possible.

Therefore, it doesn't matter if I did not gave him -Dad-any reason for him to kick me when I was just a kid, his attitudes belonged to him and he was the only responsible for them.
My attitude depends on me and I decided to forgive him. I broke the karmic cycle that united us when I forgave my father. If I made something in a past life that made my father hated me in this life, I don't know and nor I have how to know, but I forgave him from the bottom of my heart.

Linda talks about that in Star Signs:the only way to break the karmic cycle is through the forgiveness.
Shakespear said, if my memory doesn't fail, in Othelo, the following sentence: "To feel resentment is to drink a poison believing that the other will die."

posted October 19, 2002 07:14 PM         

About the boy from São Paulo, I never saw him again,he just gave me this book and I only know his name because he wrote at the first page.
________________________________

Here in Brazil we have a kind of medicine that we call 'Homeopatia'.We have all kinds of 'drugs' but those drugs are made from herbs. With no chemical substances,so they have no warnings,but you have to take them for a long,long time and only with patience we are able to see the result.
That's exactly what you said about the pills,take them every day , slowly,one day the result will appears.
___________________________________

I found the answer that I was looking from a man and his name is Allan Kardec. If you want to know more about him , go to this link
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/000637.html

Read all that I wrote about him and when you get a chance go to the website that I posted there...maybe you will like it.

I just loved the poem that you posted

Jakie

posted October 20, 2002 04:50 AM         

As for Tom Cruise vs Richard Gere: You just have to be more specific when asking for your nice dream... In my dream Gabriel Byrne was a Greek from Argentina, satiesfying both my weakness for Greek men and my longing for the exotic...Depardieu doesn't need any adjustments...

I went to the Allan Kardec website and started downloading the book, I'll read it. I lived next to Pere Lachaise with my ex who died, we used to walk there a lot. Maybe we stopped in front of his grave and wondered who is this Allan Kardec?

posted October 20, 2002 11:44 AM         

When I see someone crying ,I must hug this person ...so please , don't cry... 'cause I cannot give you a hug...
...and I have tears on my eyes too...

I will try to draw a parallel between you and your mother , me and my daughter.
When my daughter was 5 years old, she become diabetic. She almost died getting besides to enter in coma. Starting from that moment my life changed.

At that time I worked as architect, had my office and several clients. Then I began to question the time that I dedicated to her and which was the reason of everything in my life.
I discovered that I could have all the money of the world, but this money would not bring the health of my daughter.
I closed my office and devoted all my time to her and my house. Time passed and things returned to their places, I learned how to medicate my daughter, to apply insulin daily and to know even without the glucose test, if her glucose was high or lower.
My daughter is a perfectly normal child with a normal life, but she still needs special cares.

Three years later I began to work with jewels, I began to draw jewels with semi precious stones , in the beginning, for me and some friends but things went growing and I set up a small workshop in my house, but it was a thing that didn't guarantee the sustenance of my family, just something that I felt pleasure and had some money at the end of the month.

At the same time my husband was more and more violent and after a crisis of jealousies of him in a place where we used to go to dance, he attacked me physically when we arrived home, it was not the first time, nor the second, then I made him to leave the house and soon afterwards I asked for divorce.

Starting from that moment he transformed my life in a hell. For four months he didn't give nor a cent for food, didn't visit our daughter nor once, and until today we are fighting in justice to solve pension problems for our daughter. I didn't want for me any cent of him.I continue living at the house, that it's for sale and I don't see the hour of this house to be sold . Only when this happens I'll begin a new life.

For all these reasons I became father and mother. With my small work I had to feed my children and pay the expenses of my house, besides having to give attention for the children. It has not been easy. Now I'm working with architecture projects again and today I divide my time among a great project that I have to finish until the end of the month and the jewels drawings.

Then you can imagine, in the beginning I was stressed with the divorce ( I separated loving me my ex, but it was impossible for us to continue together), concerned in sustaining my children and my house besides having to do the paper of father and mother.
In the first month after my divorce I lost 12 pounds and I was already a thin person.

My daughter always at my side, accompanied my suffering. Many times she hugged me and said: " Don't be sad mom, that will pass."
I remember that four months after my divorce I had a serious discussion with him at the tel. and when I turned off I fell of my knees on the ground and I asked God to remove that weight of my heart, at that moment my daughter said: "Mom please, don't cry again."
I answered: "Let mom cry only one more time." From this moment, never again she saw me crying.

I'll continue latter