posted February 13, 2004 08:42 PM              

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Let's examine the characteristics of an immature person and see how it compares to the actions and language of the left.

JEALOUS OF OTHERS
President Bush won the 2000 election no matter how you try to spin it. One of Bill Clinton's cronies lost to a Republican. After Sept. 11, Bush became relevant. He fought back like Clinton had never done. Then the 2002 election rolled around with the resultant hammering of the Democrats. The Dems are losing the power and they can't handle that.

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As if the Republicans weren't jealous during the Clinton years. You hated him, and you still haven't gotten over it. He's never going to be president again, yet you devote more time to bashing him than to criticizing the new candidates. Could this have anything to do with jealousy... of the man who took the White House away from you for eight years?

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HOLDS GRUDGES
See the 2000 election.

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As if Republicans don't have a grudge against Clinton.

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ARGUMENTATIVE
Have you ever tried to have a calm rational discussion about the war against terrorism with a Democrat? It is a complete impossibility. As soon as the discussion begins, you'll hear the words "illegal", "unjust", "immoral" etc. Try to counter their claims with facts and the Dems turn red in the face and their voices rise in pitch. At any moment, you expect their heads to start spinning around and steam to start pouring out of their ears. Facts don't matter -- their point of view does.

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Republicans and Democrats are equally capable of having rational discussions, which is to say, not very. A lot of people simply aren't rational, and a rational conservative... now that's a find!
Republicans can be even more illogical on topics like gay rights and gay marriage. All they can argue is that marriage between a man and a woman is "sacred." Says who or what? The Constitution? No, the Bible.

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LIVES IN A DREAM WORLD
The Dems just can't face the facts. World peace is a wonderful thought but just not a reality. Appeasement and negotiation with terrorists is not an effective tactic. Conspiracy theories are the forte of the left. Terrorism will not just go away if ignored.

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Liberal conspiracy theories go like this: Bush and Co. are crooks. Republican conspiracy theories go like this: Democrats are secretly in league with the Stalinists and Neo Nazis, FEMA is planning to take over the country, and Bill Clinton is a lizard in disguise.
The prize for realism goes to the Dems, of course. Furthermore, there are plenty of Republican dreams that simply haven't paid off. Like what about that one where the American liberators of Iraq are welcomed with flowers and hugs?

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BLAMES OTHERS FOR MISTAKES
Gore lost because Bush cheated. Bill Clinton was a scapegoat for the Republican's power struggle. Bush ruined the wonderful economy that Clinton left us. Enron was the Bush administration's responsibility. North Korea's nuclear threat rose because the Bush administration dropped the ball. Sept. 11 was the result of the Bush administration's failure.

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After 9/11, who started saying that it was Clinton's negligence that allowed it to happen? Republicans. Whose watch did it happen on? Bush's. Republicans don't like taking responsibility either.

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BELITTLES THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF OTHERS
We were successful in ousting the Taliban and capturing Saddam Hussein. The economy is getting stronger daily. More countries are joining our coalition in Iraq. Libya acquiesced to turning over their weapons of mass destruction. Ask any Democrat about this and you'll get replies that start with "Yeah, but…" You may also hear "It's no big deal."

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When we belittle someone else's accomplishments, there's a good reason. For starters, the Taliban isn't really gone. They're making a comeback, didn't you notice? And no one is denying it's great that Saddam is behind bars.
Republicans don't like conceding Democrat accomplishments, either. In fact, they like to avoid trying to repeat them: take Bush's reluctance to follow in Clinton's footsteps mediating between the Palestinians and Israelies.

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DOES NOT CONTROL THEIR TEMPER
See Howard Dean, Ted Kennedy, Michael Moore, Charlie Rangel, etc.

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See Rush Limbaugh and the Republican who lives down the street from me. Together, they make up for every mad liberal combined. Oh, also see Sen. Rick Santorum. *snigger*

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ENJOYS OTHERS' FAILURES
Members of the left are quick to jump on anything that could be perceived as a failure by the Bush Administration or the Republicans. The left uses the deaths of coalition soldiers as a statistic for failure. The deaths of Iraqi civilians are tallied on a site called the Iraqi Body Count in order to prove their point of a failure in Iraq.

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...because Republicans are saints and never criticize anyone. Furthermore, they never ever ever make fun of failed opponents, nor do they capitalize on the failures of others.
It's politics, what do you expect?

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DEFIES MORAL CODES
See Monica Lewinsky, Perjury, Ted Kennedy

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Who are you to define moral codes? Get off your high horse and realize that some of us don't live by Leviticus!

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PLAYS JOKES ON OTHERS BUT CAN'T TAKE ONE THEMSELVES
The left thinks that name-calling and Bush bashing is okay. Websites denigrating our President are an example of free speech. It's okay to call the Republicans "fascists." Ads using vulgar names to describe our president are just a form of sarcasm. On the other hand, any name calling by others is inconsiderate, rude or stupid.

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Your entire post, jwhop, is an example of one party making fun of the other. Republicans do it just as much, if not more, than Democrats, yet take it equally badly.

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SELF-CENTERED
See Bill and Hillary Clinton.

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Since when are Bill and Hillary self-centered? An example, please?

Sorry about quoting almost the entire post, but I had to.

Sheba

posted February 13, 2004 09:12 PM            

quote:

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I'm not defending clinton , I'm only adding counterpoint to your Limbaugh induced fog of self righteousness

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All your point by point responses to what I posted were apparently mistaken as having come from Rush Limbaugh.

Now as for my self righteousness, there is no one more self righteous or self justified than liberals. You see, liberals are just more caring than anyone else and they care about everything. The problem is that all that caring never translates into doing anything about it. Wait---what liberals do is talk, talk, talk, for years and years and years but that never translates into any action either. Oh, and they do wear all those colored ribbons signifying their concern. It's all form over substance.

You wonder why I don't respond to all your points. Well, if you would pick a (one) subject and stick with it instead of bouncing all over the map, I would.

John Kerry is the typical liberal. In the Senate for about 20 years and though he rails against everything America stands for (in typical liberal fashion) his legislative successes are nil. In 20 years, John Kerry has not authored 1 (one) substantive piece of legislation to correct all those ills he sees in America.

Now, he's running for Pres and what's his agenda? Well, he wants to take back America. Where the hell does Kerry think America's been. Typical liberal, words, words, words, no substance---all show and no go. Kerry should not forget that America is right where American voters put it. In the hands of competent Republican legislators who are doing the heavy lifting and taking the heat for correcting 50 years of liberal meddling, increasing the size and scope of government, raising taxes at every level and at every opportunity and screwing up the military and American Defense in general.

posted February 13, 2004 09:21 PM              

I've never seen the quote from Mussolini. Interesting. "it means that industry leaders are appointed to the government and control it" Yes, I believe we are officially a plutocracy now.

*sigh* sometimes I feel like the only American in the room. Jefferson is my household god. I can't even begin to imagine what he would think. Every July 4th I light a candle and read the Declaration of Independence. It's a little ritual that I have. Last year I couldn't get through half of it without crying. How far we have strayed.

Anger is not always immature. There is a thing called Righteous Anger. Keep fighting the Good Fight. All is not lost yet.

posted February 13, 2004 10:12 PM              

America is in dire straits at the moment. Our government has usurped our Constitutional rights to assembly, free speech, and accountability from the government of the people. Thanks to the Patriot Act, what makes America the greatest county on Earth, the country everyone looks to as the "land of freedom" has been dismantled.

If you have never read it, I highly suggest you do before you smirk.."if you havent done anything, you have nothing to fear."

There has been no call to censure the acts of a power hungry administration and Congress. Free speech zones miles away are created for those who wish to protest against the policies of our government.

Hundreds of innocents and American troops are dying for what? Please tell me? The dying hasn't stopped sinced Hussain was captured. The world is not a safer place. Our government feeds us fear and color coded "alerts" that do nothing but drain the local economies.

American jobs are disappearing by the millions...and are NOT coming back. Millions of Americans-mostly women and children-have no health care and live in abject poverty.

DO we care so much for the Almighty Dollar that these people don't matter? Corporations are given tax breaks to oursource jobs...permission from the government to destroy our society. Yes, OUR society.....not just the politicians.

If the government is to "represent" the American people, then why arent the farmers, the doctors, the waitresses, the factory workers in Congress? THESE are the people that do the work to keep the country going.

These are the people being made into wage slaves by representatives that know nothing of the "average American."

Its time to demand redress. Its time to ask for accountability. The government...Reps and Dems.......aren't going to do a thing to check themselves.

posted February 13, 2004 11:01 PM            

"Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of man?" Surprise, it's not the "Shadow" who knows, only liberals know that evil lurks in the hearts of Conservatives.

Only liberals have had the veils of the mystery ripped asunder to reveal the true motives and evil of the Corporations. Only liberals know for certain that corporations are the oppressors of mankind. Only liberals know that the profit motive is evil. Only liberals know that corporations are embarked on a mission to enslave mankind, womankind too.

Now, you have really pushed my button Tink. Of all American historical figures, Thomas Jefferson is my favorite bar none! If Thomas Jefferson were alive today he would attack liberals without quarter, for their government spending, above the ability of the American people to pay for their excesses. He would ridicule the PC movement as an attempt to limit speech and thought, he would abhor the attempt of liberals to set the boundaries of thought between this and that but always within the boundaries they set, he would attack the so called "education establishment" for their utter failure to educate and instead substitute liberal indoctrination propaganda. In short Tink, Thomas Jefferson would be a liberals worst nightmare.

Thomas Jefferson
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

Of course, liberals don't believe in God, don't believe in right and wrong and with a concerted effort, are attempting to remove every vestige of God from America and it's institutions, including the currency and the Pledge of Allegiance.

So, please don't interject Thomas Jefferson into this discussion to bolster your position.

Nice going liberals.

posted February 13, 2004 11:35 PM              

It's also amusing that you accuse liberals (note: liberals, not Democrats- are the Green, Natural Law, and Peace and Freedom parties responsible, too?) of spending above and beyond the capability of ordinary Americans. Since you didn't know, Clinton left the country with a huge surplus, which Bush eroded with reckless spending (wait a mo, isn't reckless spending supposed to be a conservative's worst nightmare?). Bush never understood the basic math that says spending + tax cuts = deficits, so now we have a huge deficit, which is beyond the capability of ordinary Americans to pay for. Clinton was actually much more fiscally responsible than Bush is. But as Cheney would say,"Reagan proved that deficits don't matter."
Not to rich Republicans, anyway.

posted February 13, 2004 11:57 PM            

Kerry is a liar and a gold digger. He plays to special interest groups. The guy could CARE LESS about you and your pet projects, but he would smile and say he believes in you. Makes me sick that he is even a Sag...what the hell is wrong with him..he must have a messed up chart. LOL..

I mean come on, let's look at that wacknut Kucinich..he is crazy, but at least he sticks to his guns. I admire that.

Oh and yeah, I suppose I am a ditto head. I am into rights for all people but I do not support the feminist movement nor have I ever. Mainly because there are some jobs a woman is not qualified to do and that is a biological fact. Ironically, I work for flaming liberals. My company is a jobs program for liberal corporate greed. We routinely pay off liberal politicians because the conservatives wouldn't listen to my corrupt bosses. I expect the CEO and others to be convicted of SEC violations at some point. As far as women and minority rights are concerned, the liberals I work for would rather see women wait on them and minorities know their place than to provide adequate compensation for our positions.

posted February 14, 2004 12:05 AM            

So, Pidaua and I are forming the "dittohead" club of LL, wanna join?

posted February 14, 2004 12:40 AM            

quote:

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I think that's wrong. I think the administration would very much like investigations into 9-11 to be done long before the heat of the election. Why else would they deny the commission an extension?Because they are very much afraid of what that commission may turn up..

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Uhhhh, I think you're a little behind the curve on this. The President, that's President Bush has agreed to grant an extension of 60 days to finalize this report, which is exactly the amount of time the Commission requested.

posted February 14, 2004 01:04 AM            

Please don't attempt to put words in my mouth or Thomas Jefferson's. It's clear you haven't a clue to the nature of the man or his thoughts.

Before you censor me for bringing to life the thoughts of Thomas Jefferson, you should at the very least delve into the writings of the man. If you ever bothered to do so you would find he was the antithesis of liberal thinking---in almost every area.

Thomas Jefferson
"A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor and bread it has earned -- this is the sum of good government"

posted February 14, 2004 01:22 AM            

I like that Jefferson too.. Wise man.

posted February 14, 2004 02:00 AM            

"I hope that we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations, which dare already to challenge our government to a trial of strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country." (Thomas Jefferson, in 1816, quoted in Lawrence Goodwyn, The Populist Moment).

Hmmm...Tis a shame that the country went in the opposite direction he hoped it would. I have to wonder if Thomas wouldn't be out organizing for the anti-globalization movement were he alive today.

This one reminded me of Lost Leo's arguing that people are too stupid to govern themselves...

"I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers of society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform their discretion." (Thomas Jefferson).

posted February 14, 2004 07:04 AM              

Certainly, I did not interject Thomas into the discussion to bolster my opinon. What a silly thing to say! I wonder if you know my opinion. Do please stop calling me a liberal. I am not. Liberals, conservatives, Democrats, Republicans, Tweedle Dum, Tweedle Dee. More silliness.

I am glad to see we share a love of Mr. Jefferson. Ah, to look into the eyes of the enemy and find oneself. I have been in absolute love with him since I was 6 and saw a litttle documentry about him during the 1976 Bicentennial. I will never forget it.

What is the "Shadow"?

tink

ps I do believe in God. Very much so. I do not believe in the government's right to tell me to believe in God. I do think it should remain on the dollar bill and I do think it should remain in the Pledge of Allegiance. Howvever, I do not believe in school prayer. That's a step too far I think. What do you think, jwhop? check out Thomas's writings on that too.

posted February 14, 2004 11:45 AM            

This is the one that makes me see red when I think of liberals/socialists and other collectivists in government.

(I)n questions of power, let no more be heard of confidence in man but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the constitution.

Professing to not be able to see what the Constitution clearly says, they nevertheless see things there that it clearly does not say.

posted February 15, 2004 11:56 PM              

"A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor and bread it has earned -- this is the sum of good government." -Jefferson

Keywords: wise and frugal. Bush is neither. He cuts taxes and raises expenditures lavishly, as well as snubbing out international trade partners and allies.

"Never trust your government. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. A revolution is needed every twenty years just to keep the government honest." -Jefferson

We all know about Cheney's illicit connections to Halliburton and Enron and about the lies Bush told to justify the war. Now Bush's National Gaurd records are looking fuzzy in an AWOL kind of way. This administration is chronically dishonest. Many organizations practicing free speech- exactly the vigilance Jefferson calls for- are under attack by conservatives, and may have been cracked down on by the government. As the ACLU would say, "Because freedom can't protect itself."

"I hope that we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations, which dare already to challenge our government to a trial of strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country." -Jefferson

Jefferson apparently didn't like corporations. Do Bush and Cheney? Do you, jwhop?
Oh yeah.

(I)n questions of power, let no more be heard of confidence in man but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the constitution. -Jefferson

The Patriot Act is a violation of the Constitution. True conservatives are going crazy over it, but of course, most of the Republicans in Washington aren't true conservatives. They're just sycophants marching in lockstep.

"I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers of society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform their discretion." -Jefferson

I suppose this is why California goes to the trouble of printing millions of voter information pamphlets each year, to give the electorate the lowdown on what or who they're voting for. It's a splendid thing to spend government money on, and unfor. something that many states don't do.

Yes, jwhop, Thomas Jefferson is your homeboy.
[note the sarcasm]

posted February 16, 2004 08:21 AM              

but okay lets say just 50 years
funny you should mention 1954
the year of the geneva conference
http://history.sandiego.edu/gen/20th/vietnam-policies.html

Eisenhower (a republican) himself said :
"two of the items from this particular area that the world uses are tin and tungsten. They are very important. There are others, of course, the rubber plantations and so on.

I have never talked or corresponded with a person knowledgeable in Indo-China affairs who did not agree that had elections been held as of the time of the fighting, possibly 80 per cent of the population would have voted for the Communist Ho Chi Minh.
(Mandate For Change: The White House Years 1953-56, 1963)

but he formed an "opposition government" there(see iraq governing council)

notice 1954 in iran
http://history.sandiego.edu/gen/20th/iran.html

talk about meddling......
uuggh...nixon and agnew.......nixon got elected by saying he would end the war...what was his secret weapon? threatening everyone with nukes as usual....when they all laughed at him he began secretly bombing peasants in cambodia....
and kissinger....who bush jr TRIED to appoint to head the 9/11 investigation??!! lol
http://www.hrw.org/community/bookreviews/hitchens.htm

is there a book out there like that on Kerry?i'd vote a magic eight ball into office before bush jr....

and whewh....nixons' VP spiro agnew
http://www.infoplease.com/ce6/people/A0802750.html

if only they knew what we were doing in iraq at the time
http://www.arlingtoncemetery.net/jhcritchfield.htm

(just ignore the parts about the hiring nazi war criminals into the cia, i dont want to sound anti american.....I LOVE AMERICA)
then you've got cheney working for rumsfeld and nixon...hmmmmmm
its chilling to even hear rumsfeld play "yes man" in the nixon tapes
"security" was the reason cited by nixon and the cia for their massive legal defense not to release the pentagon papers and the nixon tapes too....LOL
bout this time bush sr. was appointed head of cia
after the nixon administration...anyone have any questions why jimmy carter was elected?? LOL

then we get to the reagan bush sr. era....
the iran iraq war killed a MILLION+ people and maimed and crippled millions more
we would have never known bush sr. was playing them against each other that whole time had not iran/contra/bcci become known...
so we wanted hussein to have iran , guess that woulda stopped them evil axis iranians from FORMING THEIR OWN DEMOCRACY HUH???
i dont remember hearing hardly anything in the press at the time of iran iraq war

and then theres the mujahedin and afghanistan.....
i keep hearing fox and sean reporting about nightvision goggles and whatnot the russians sold iraq......
during the soviet afghan conflict we gave the mujahedin a couple BILLION$$$$ and armed them with heatseeking missiles.....
only some FIFTEEN THOUSAND Russian troops were killed.....i guess that was different though.....

and the whole libya thing puzzles me too...
we knew gaddaffi HAD A FULL BLOWN NBC WEAPONS CAPABILITY before we invaded iraq??
and these guys like britt hume on fox are all now like......"see how right it was to invade iraq??!! gaddaffi is our good buddy now he wont lie and hide weapons and sponsor terrorism any more like saddam WAS!!!!we TRUST him ....everybody...three chears for gaddaffi!!!!"(ok that was just a parody dont start looking for the quote...)

bush dictator quote http://www.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0012/18/nd.01.html

paul wolfowitz
"I think one has to say it's not just simply a matter of capturing people and holding them accountable, but removing the sanctuaries, removing the support systems, ending states who sponsor terrorism. And that's why it has to be a broad and sustained campaign."(what about saudi arabia and pakistan?)

wmd quotes http://lunaville.org/WMD/Billmon.aspx

many more years with republican ceo'z than democrats the way i count it
and dont get me wrong, eisenhower DID leave a chilling warning, very relavent today i think
i think this says it all..

In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

and finally jwhops jefferson quote
(I)n questions of power, let no more be heard of confidence in man but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the constitution."

is that why bush jr wants a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT to BAN gay marriage??
lol

tell me jwhop, whats your rationale for writing a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage??

your answer will define for me wether youre just a limbaugh hannity parrot (hannity loves to partially quote jefferson too)or a true "conservative"

posted February 17, 2004 01:43 PM            

Chippendale's Dancer

Sperm donor

posted February 17, 2004 01:53 PM            

BUT, my liberal CEO thinks this is a good idea to distribute to all of us - even though it has NOTHING to do with what we do here at this company:

Apply Liberally To Fight Molar Rot

By Hank Stuever
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, February 15, 2004; Page D01

All the crucial ideological data you'll ever need about someone's personal politics are waiting for you in another part of the house. Simply excuse yourself from a possibly tedious discussion in the dining room, wander your host's home until you locate the master bathroom, and have a look at the toothpaste:

Tom's of Maine.

Everyone's gone Tom's, it seems, even people you didn't quite expect to. They claim to love how it tastes and how it makes them feel, which is good about themselves. They did this because President Bush came along and these people had some subconscious need to identify where they stood in a world that no longer felt stable to them.

So they picked liberal toothpaste. They say they've used it for years. (This is not always true.) They say that after a single tube of using it, they can never go back to the sugary mainstream of dental hygiene. They swear it's not a Whole Foods paper-or-plastic thing, not a Green Party, Taxation-Without-Representation statement. But when something comes toward the center from the fringe -- this drippy, oozy toothpaste that leaves the mouth frothy and licoricey and a bit mealy feeling -- and so many people seem to convert at once, one is compelled to ask:

What have you done with my friends, Tom?

Finding the all-natural toothpaste can be, depending on your own worldview, a satisfying discovery: Ah, I'm in the home of a good and gentle center-lefty or lefty-lefty, a thinker about issues, a possessor of good books and record albums, an opposer of most wars, a composter perhaps, or at least a saver of natural resources, etc.

Or it feels somehow suspicious: Et tooth, Brute? We used to be Crest people, you and I. We liked bad television and shopping malls and staying out all night. Now I'm getting a "Kill Your Television" vibe from you. You're opposed to crass commercialism now? You're worked up. You're lecturing the rest of us. Your breath isn't quite so minty. Finding Tom's in this person's bathroom is like finding Dr. Judith Steinberg Dean -- she who is "not a 'thing' person" -- hiding behind the shower curtain, enjoying a smooshed cupcake.

Does more Tom's on the bathroom counters of my narrow little world portend anything for the 2004 election that pollsters don't already know?

Some numbers, please: Tom's of Maine manufactures about 2 million tubes of the stuff every month, but still it claims 2 percent of the overall U.S. toothpaste market. The world is still cool-mint gel, obsessed with whitening strips and supermodel smiles, but you can now buy Tom's at thousands of locations nationwide, and not just health stores. Since Tom's of Maine discovered a way in 1995 to appease the American Dental Association and get that group's valuable seal of approval without testing it on rats (the compromise involved testing shards of real human molars instead, worn inside the mouths of real human volunteers), its toothpaste has become available at even Wal-Mart. This preponderance of Tom's is just another one of those things that feel like everyone's doing them, and it can lead you down a path that feels like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." If people are brushing their teeth with fennel-flavored propolis and myrrh toothpaste (or any other of a number of organic formulas and flavors in the Tom's of Maine Natural Care line), then it won't be long before they're going to be tut-tutting you about some of your more intensely fresh-mint, three-flavors-in-one swirly positions on the issues.

It's just a finer blade with which to split the country. People who brush with Tom's generally (and I can speak only generally, in that grating, mass-media way that drives people who brush with Tom's to absolute fits) can't believe what's happening to the world: the juvenile music, the vapid television, the "lies" (corporate, especially), the fixation on celebrities, the waste, Dick Cheney and Halliburton, the gas guzzling -- the whole concept of America is about to come apart for them. They are an oppressed class right now. They are outraged in a really quiet way.

"We sell a lot of toothpaste in the D.C. area," says Kathleen Taggersell, a spokeswoman for Tom's of Maine, located in Kennebunk, which is, you know, in Maine.

The crunchy-granola, likely-liberal image of the Tom's customer "is obviously part of our heritage," Taggersell says. "But it's getting broader all the time. All kinds of people are reading labels and care about what they put into their bodies. And it doesn't mean that everyone buying [Tom's] is driving a Range Rover in the suburbs."

Tom's is good at being good. In the 34 years they've been making all-natural health products, owners Tom and Kate Chappell have been frequently praised for their meaningful business practices and meticulous devotion to appeasing the organic-minded demands of their customers.

The "frequently asked questions" section on the company's Web site is 18 pages long, because Tom's customers frequently question everything, including the use of fluoride and xylitol (from birch trees -- is that bad!? Or good?), or raise ingredient issues (sugar, carrageenan, sodium lauryl sulfate). Or they want to again be reassured that a pernicious rumor about the Chappells contributing to antiabortion causes is false (indeed it is false). Or they want to know the exact way to recycle Tom's recyclable aluminum toothpaste tubes. (Remove the plastic cap and threaded plastic top of the tube first, or else certain environmental disaster awaits.) They even want to know the correct way to squeeze a tube. (One must neatly start from the bottom and roll it forward as one goes along, with moral discipline.)

From the company's own research, Taggersell says, they've learned that Tom's customers are in the 25 to 45 age range, but many of them started using Tom's in college. They're usually professionals, degreed and connected, she says. "And they're especially technology oriented. They're not out living in the woods. They're connected to family and nature. They love animals. They have a favorite room in their house where they like to read. They're big, big readers."

There have been books about the Tom's way (written by Tom), where the message adheres to a positive (and still capitalist) spirit. The company, with 160 employees, gives money to several charities and causes, such as helping to defeat casino gambling in the state o' Maine, and going into urban areas and promoting Tom's "Dental Health for All" program. (A crew from Tom's of Maine was in Washington earlier this month, at Howard University's health clinic at Gage-Eckington Elementary School, to bestow a grant that will provide dental chairs, X-rays and other services to uninsured mouths.)

Regardless of whether politics are going their way, the Tom's crowd is living in what it considers to be the most conscious, most aware existence it can muster right now. In all this goodness, Tom's gives its users a sense of moral superiority, which might explain why Washington has been such a profitable market. Your toothpaste should have an agenda.

(My agenda remains the same, when it comes to toothpaste: I want to be that lady in the cinnamon Close-Up commercial of the 1970s, whose boyfriend runs slo-mo across the pasture, then picks her up and swings her around, locking his lips to hers. What cares she for politics, for saving the world, for standing up for what's right?)

There is so much to intuit from a tube of Tom's, before I turn my attention, very gently, to whatever else is in the medicine cabinet.

posted February 17, 2004 08:25 PM              

Poor pidaua, you don't seem to enjoy working for your superiors. Do they really inflict their political opinions that much? Very bad form. Far be it for me to pass judgement, but, if your bosses are corrupt, paying off politicians, and possibly running head long into a SEC violition, why not consider finding other employment? I can only imagine how stressful that work environment must be for you. You deserve better.