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Author Topic:   Your perception, my perception, lets agree to disagree
NeoKitty
Knowflake

Posts: 102
From: Heaven
Registered: Dec 2004

posted December 14, 2004 07:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NeoKitty     Edit/Delete Message
Your perecption, my perception, lets agree to disagree.

Consider this conversation:
"I really enjoyed that film last night"
"It was really bad"
"No it wasn't"
"There was no story line, but the photography was ok"
"That's rediculous, the story line was great"
"No it isnt, your an idiot!"

Have you hear people say, well if you think THAT- your an idiot in my book? ect ect.
Recognise that? Neither person in this conversation is right or wrong, actually they may not appreciate this!

However, each has their own way of experiencing life, their own 'map of the world'. How often does your 'map of
the world' bump up against someone elses? And what happens when it does?

Once you accept that we do each have a unique map of the world then you begin to understand and accept difference.

Imagine a world where this understanding and acceptance existed-- how different our daily lives would be. How would
the press survive? What stories would they print? Can you imagine how different the headlines would be?

We all have our UNIQUE perception of the world, and the way things are, the way people behave, our own experience.
And that perception is just a view of those things, and interpretation. Its not an exact representation of reality. So highlighting
some features, ignoring others, so your own personal experience leads you to highlight some features and ignore others.

Accepting this prsupposition means that you respect difference.

--------
Change your perspective and you change the world.

Now see: Beliefs vs. Magic

Back to: Good/Bad, it's all mental.

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virgotaurustaurus
Knowflake

Posts: 606
From: NY
Registered: Oct 2004

posted December 14, 2004 08:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for virgotaurustaurus     Edit/Delete Message
Usually when a conversation I'm having starts heading in that direction, where I just want to discuss how I viewed the object of discussion, and to see what the other person thought, and then I find they think I'm an idiot because I have a different idea, I remind them that it's just my perception/opinion is different than theirs, and there's no actual fact-based conversation going on.

Either it makes them angry or they go back to being calm and having an actual discussion.

But yeah, I have this a lot...I seem to have quite a unique way of looking at the world, and can make connections between 2 seemingly unrelated things, and sometimes I fail to even express my thoughts thanks to years of these kinds of responses. Rather than the other person realizing I just look at things in a different way, instead I've been told I'm stupid or don't know what I'm talking about.

I just started reading a book and it discusses how many people seem to think that Disagreement is Combat, that one person has to be a winner and the other a loser, rather than an opportunity to learn the other's point of view.

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NeoKitty
Knowflake

Posts: 102
From: Heaven
Registered: Dec 2004

posted December 14, 2004 08:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NeoKitty     Edit/Delete Message
I think possibly the other gets angry because they are, in that moment, self-righteous and, you can put it down ego, because we automatically find a defect, or a 'wrong' in someone, or their views, and it makes us feel better.
Another reason probably is because of perception and it's limitations.
We all desire to have the right answers.

I'd love to just exchange humble opinions without having to defend them. I completely empathize Virgotaurustaurus.

It's not convincing others into your way of thinking, or what you believe, what matters, is what you know, in yourself.
We love it when others agree, but what about when they don't?
Observe the feeling inside when someone disagrees with you, and I mean really observe it, and you'll see its nothing but, your ego trying, so hard, to be satisfied with itself.


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LeoSweetHeart
Knowflake

Posts: 89
From: San Diego, CA USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 15, 2004 03:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeoSweetHeart     Edit/Delete Message
Neo Kitty I agree that the world would be so much better if we could all remember that we have unique perceptions. It seems you like to look at the higher truths of human nature, me too

What you said reminded me of my step dad, who is always arguing to the death sort of speak. Once he began an argument with a women we'd just met on a ski vacation about something really stupid..me and my mom we like it's okay it doesn't matter! we were so embarrased its really bad when you don't even know someone I think.

Yes I don't think there would be wars or other types of violence if people could just realize that everyone sees a different movie, with themselves as star with different characters and plots. If we could just understand that we are made of the same substance and have love in our cores, thats all that would matter. Its always important that everyone is getting along for me, I don't care about facts and figures as much as people and feelings. I'm sentimental though

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miss_apples
Knowflake

Posts: 277
From: white bear lake, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2004

posted December 15, 2004 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for miss_apples     Edit/Delete Message
Thats why I constantly find myself saying "opinions are like noses and everybody has one"

Im very accepting that people have different perceptions of the world. If we all had the same opinions, how boring would the world be!

It is very hard to seperate your opinion from fact though and Im sure we all have the moments where we find ourselves being a jerk and saying "well if you think that then youre an idiot"

When i find myself doing that I just stop and remind myself that opinions are like noses and everyone has one

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NeoKitty
Knowflake

Posts: 102
From: Heaven
Registered: Dec 2004

posted December 15, 2004 05:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NeoKitty     Edit/Delete Message
I love that miss-apples, NOSES!!
I will always remember that, thankyou , it will help when times get tough, with my very Onionated friend. - Opinions are like onions too!!

Leosweetheart, I think there's so many distractions in society that we do forget ourselves, then we forget higher truths, and what's important.
Your so right about facts and figures, it's better to be less pedantic, and try to simplify things a bit more.

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