posted May 03, 2018 05:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
^ Including yourself, Shulia.
Thanks for starting this thread, and coming back 'as you can'.
I understand the sense of isolation, not having access to computers in order to connect.

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posted September 26, 2018 05:06 PM            

I have always thought that suicide is a declaration of wanting to feel more of life.

More care, more kindness,more happiness, more nurturing, more support,more attention, more love, more understanding. More.....

Our nature as humans is to expand. Its what we do even when we are not "conscious" of it(Sun).

When we see sadness,we feel sad. But in actual fact we are saying "we want to see wellbeing"

When we feel depressed, we feel hopeless. But in actual fact we are saying " we want to have the sight and experience of children. Where everything is a beautiful wonder".

So we are always asking. Even when we do not know it.

The trouble comes when we stay in that state of asking i.e. "why are things not changing?" "Why does nobody care?" And regurgitate those thoughts until we see no way out of them.

Its hard to see the any progress when we focus on being stuck. Like its hard to try to accomplish dreams when people around you are constantly nagging "but how?"

So as much as u establish distance from those people. You must establish distance from the thoughts that continue to see "what is".

Is our asking ever answered? All the time. But it will feel like our prayers go unanswered when we focus all our energy on asking "So where is the evidence?".

We have to find a way to establish some distance between the feeling of " not having" and get on another subject altogether.

Notice that when we feel trapped in thoughts of sadness at the store doing our shopping, then someone cuts in front of us. How quick we move from sad to angry?

And with those angry feelings are other related subjects of "people who take advantage of others, should be put into their proper place".

How did we go from the seemingly " inescapable" sad thoughts of "I wonder how I will make my rent?", " I can barely afford the stuff I am buying" etc. to the more vivacious and outraged "There needs to be more justice in this world" or "people should learn to respect others"?

Thoughts of suicide or wanting to commit suicide are chronic thoughts that are hard to stop overnight. Because they have so much momentum.

But I always find it interesting the method of suicide chosen by the people who commit suicide. Because even in their choice of oblivion is the "asking" of what they wanted.

Gun in head- "I want peace of mind"

Drinking poison or pills-"I want to feel better"

Hanging- "I want to be understood" (related to throat)

Jumping off building-" I want to be free of obligations "

posted September 26, 2018 05:27 PM            

So when we "sleep" and wake, we have the opportunity to change the momentum of our thoughts before the new ones come rushing. And if we do not, this "new" day feels very much like the one before. Because essentially our thoughts have not changed. So we are right. There is no day that is "special".

And even in "death", we take our last thoughts of that life with us. And so when we leave the mind-body state, the spirit has memory of both the last thoughts and love.

But if the thoughts resist the love. We send ourselves to "hell"- Which is just a state of our thoughts that are without love.

We however do not stay there 4 "eternity"(because that word is again meant to exaggerate and simultaneously articulate how deep the sadness/pain we feel really goes).

When we are sick of "hell" and the demons, devil and whatever mode of separation we imagine for ourselves there. We gravitate towards Godhead(heaven).

Just like how we get sick of crying over a heartbreak and "decide" to move on. No longer dawdling in between etc. We suddenly have a new lease and we are ready for the next chapter.

So in every aspect of life and "death", we are always in charge. Godhead never forces her will on us. Not ever.

Godhead will not "impose" love on us. It defies law. Not until we are ready to choose it ourselves and think anew of ourselves i.e "see yee first the kingdom of God".

This is the "born again" that Jesus speaks of and how we come into full awareness of the presence of love. Which is really all there was. And then choose it for ourselves. Not have Godhead force it down our throat.

And I think it is also what is meant by "accepting Jesus as your savior". It is being given a hand out of the sea of thoughts that feel like hell. Thoughts if being separated from love etc. But you have an option to " accept". Its not forced.

And in that acceptance we become so excited of this reunion with love because it feels like coming home(the prodigal son returns)that we want to do it again. Just like a child would want to go on a ride in a carnival all over again to experience it all all over again. And Godhead grants us that.

Its never over. Never. So much so that even death itself (whenever it comes), is also a form of " suicide ".