posted February 26, 2009 11:39 AM         

quote:

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The internet, like life, isn't all sunshine and pink clouds and ponies.

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True, but in life, if some spit-covered guy walks into the bank, the grocery store, or a classroom and starts yelling random non-sequiters at people and pees on the floor, he gets kicked out. And if he does it on the street, cops will ask him to stop.

It isn't fascist or dictatorial to gently and politely institute moderate guidelines about appropriate behavior. It works in my city and in the places I hang out, and it works on my favorite internet spaces, too. That isn't about a fantasy of roses and rainbows. It's more basic.

It's less about getting hurt or offended, and more about the unneccessary problem of having to wade through incomprehensible, irrelevent, or abusive posts. There are plenty of places online that find a happy medium.

posted February 26, 2009 01:36 PM         

theres off topic posts,

and then theres Nonconstructive, antagonizing off topic posts.

posted February 26, 2009 02:10 PM           

But also it has to do with expansion, as Lindaland expands and gets larger.

There are going to be more users joining and the new users might not share the same love that was originally there.

I like to compare Lindalands expansion to the Microeconomics of Mcdonalds Restaurants.

As more people quit Mcdonalds, the new employees that replace those that quit are not as effective.

I know Lindaland is no McDonalds, but as more people join and the forum gets bigger.

posted February 26, 2009 02:11 PM         

quote:

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i agree with Lucia,
theres off topic posts,

and then theres Nonconstructive, antagonizing off topic posts.

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If you're speaking about your pisces thread, people were actually giving you genuine insight but you kept effing ignoring it since it wasn't about *you* which I found alot more irritating than the off topicness.

quote:

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True, but in life, if some spit-covered guy walks into the bank, the grocery store, or a classroom and starts yelling random non-sequiters at people and pees on the floor, he gets kicked out. And if he does it on the street, cops will ask him to stop.

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I'm not disagreeing that something should be done about blatantly abusive behavior but I don't agree with censoring posts just because they went off topic, or posts that might offend someone because of how they percieved it.

posted February 26, 2009 02:33 PM         

The mod can gently mention to the poster that they're veering off-topic, and refer them to the appropriate thread. In the case of that post by VirgOh that I thought was inappropriate, if I'd been the mod I would've written, "VirgOh, please explain how your post connects to the thread topic, or move your further comments to a new thread."

Guidelines can help each of us work to keep our own posts constructive and topical. On the site I like, the guidelines offer constructive suggestions for how to avoid antagonizing language. If we are about to post something that we imagine might offend or irritate another person, we can ask ourselves to carefully evaluate our motivations for posting. Are we being constructive? Compassionate? If so, does our tone reflect those motivations? Will our point be valuable to others, and to the discussion overall?

If someone is here out of an abiding desire to irritate, hurt, or offend others, they should get a bunch of warnings, and be banned if they don't change their tune. BUT, an overall culture of compassion, consideration, and constructive approaches at a site--encouraged through gentle, voluntary guidelines and mod suggestions--often deters trolls from continuing to post at all.

posted February 26, 2009 03:09 PM         

quote:

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If you're speaking about your pisces thread, people were actually giving you genuine insight but you kept effing ignoring it since it wasn't about *you* which I found alot more irritating than the off topicness.

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On that thread, LibraLove asked VirgOh to respond to the thread topic, which did ask a personal question, "Why do I like Pisces?" (I'm quoting only parts of the dialogue): "i do care however, if you can tell me why i might like pisces, according to my chart?"

And VirgOh responded: "LL, what do you think I memorize your chart and have wet dreams about it? I dunno why you like em and dont give a frig lol"

LL: "thats why i don't understand why you came into this topic."

VirgOh: "Calling on all Taurus, Scorp, Virgo and Sag female bitchy types to teach this Leo a lesson."

This is the same sort of thing that VirgOh did on my "Ouch! Scorpio stung Lion" thread. To me, it's a blatent example of a place where moderators ought to intervene and politely suggest that if the poster, in this case, VirgOh, is not interested in the thread topic and cannot/will not connect his/her posts to the topic, he/she should leave or begin a separate thread.

Having read the thread, I was very confused by how others interpreted this dialogue. Guidelines about which types of posts are relevent and constructive would help. But the poster (VirgOh) explicitly stated that he/she did not care about the thread topic. People who do not care about the thread topic and are insulting a poster who is asking for help, analysis, or support ought to be directed to start their own topic.

In fact, a mod (Xodian) did request that responses be kept on topic.

posted February 26, 2009 03:29 PM         

quote:

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I usually just skip over that anyways since I can rarely ever tell whether they're serious or just messing with eachother.

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For people who might be interested in using a given thread as an astrological case study (hmm, why is this particular Leo drawn to Pisces suns?), it's annoying to wade through off-topic posts. I noticed LL thanking those who had topical posts for their input.

Xodian's approach (with the comment "BTW: With your rude remarks I am surprised that anyone is kind enough to offer you help. So I suggest that you drop the attitude. Or would you like some of it given back and injure your little Leo Sun good, eh small fry ?") confused me, because I hadn't noticed rude remarks from LL. One thing that's especially effective on some sites is for moderators to stay highly simple and neutral--i.e., "Everyone, please stay on topic."

With the VirgOh thing, I felt that he/she was trying to be insulting, with a willful, conscious, and intentional desire to ignore the topic at hand, in both my thread and the "Why I like Pisces" thread.

posted February 26, 2009 03:29 PM         

some responses did not help me with i was trying to figure out.

if you can't see that, then again, that's your problem.

Lucia, i think if moderators intervene sooner before it escalated the way it did in my thread, (e.g. preventing further posts like those made by virgoh and others like FOL), it wouldn't become a beef, and it would be clean) if mods can't be bothered to stop these kinds of posts, then how can one expect this forum to be clean of nonconstructive/off topic/antagonizing posts/posters = missing 'the love'.. people who support these kind of posts, obviously want a playground atmosphere. going by this logic, we should let all criminals/serial killers/etc run free, and we should just ignore what they are doing. lets not clean it up.

Another example, i remember when writesomething and FOL were bickering in his topic about mass murders, where writesomething was ranting about the nature of the topic, and fol was just making it worse by his responses. i don't see why no moderator stopped that from escalating.

i don't see why no moderator stopped the bird brain thing escalating to the statement of fol calling one a 'bird brain'.

i don't see how FOL lasted as long as he did without a warning, with his consistent antagonizing, nonconstructive posts.

posted February 26, 2009 03:31 PM         

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

posted February 26, 2009 05:36 PM         

Seriously, there is an overabundance of time being spend on COMPLAINTS at this point, instead of people just showing tolerance and expressing gratitude for being on here.
Not everyone has to treat you with kid gloves here! That's just not how life works. I hardly see anyone going out of their way to be nasty. If some like to stir the pot once in a while, it's just part of their personality - live and let live and stop complaining.

posted February 26, 2009 05:58 PM         

well i don't think they are jokes, maybe yours are, but the ones your 'defending' i don't think are funny, and quite clearly others don't think they are funny either.

im pretty sure your idea of your own jokes, would be recognizable. compared to nonconstructive antagonizing ones, that don't do anything for the topics.

i think most the examples talked about here are clearly not 'jokes'. they should/shouldve been moderated or warned in some cases.

i cringe to think people say were all adults around here, but then support these very immature nonconstructive posts, that you obviously think are funny, but do you find them funny when you make a topic, and them kind of 'jokes' start coming your way? thats a question i'd like to ask everyone who doesn't think its a problem.

this topic is about whats going on lately, these last few posts are not complaints, they are simply opinions. the same way your post, MvM, is an opinion. its not a complaint is it? but certainly could be by saying your complaining about our opinions being voiced.

why can't we just state what we think is a problem, and how it can be solved, without people complaining that were complaining?

i don't see why we can't discuss it.

is it because virgOh's name had been mentioned?

its nothing to do with kid gloves, or the internet. this is not just the internet, this is a forum, where people are suppose to discuss together. we can't constructively discuss without a certain level of respect being kept.

there are rules on forums for reasons.

posted February 26, 2009 06:04 PM         

But I don't like this idea of gossip behind anyone's back. Sorry.

I don't want to be on a forum where everyone's walking on eggshells. My Aries moon detests it. Despite that, I do consider myself a conscientious person who would never deliberately hurt anyone. I also don't subscribe to passive-aggression either - I'd rather things be dealt with upfront, with the person in question.

posted February 26, 2009 06:08 PM         

and this is not behind anyones back, this is an open topic, in an open forum.

everyone can read this.

posted February 26, 2009 06:20 PM         

What point are you trying to make, exactly? That you think I am fond of VirgOh, and thus defending him? I am fond of him, so what? I'm also fond of you, but again, so what? That's besides the point for me.

Enough of beating a dead horse, already.

posted February 26, 2009 06:28 PM           

I'm aware that the world isn't always rainbows and kitten farts. And just because someone may feel preyed upon or out of place doesn't mean that their feelings shouldn't matter, and that they're the one with the issue. I invite everyone to take a look at their own behavior, look in the mirror, and put yourself in other people's shoes - on this thread AND in life.

I am not accusing anyone here, if you get to know me I'm sure you'll find I'm quite unbiased and pleasant . And if we haven't formally met, nic e to meet you!

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I love my Virgo <3

posted February 26, 2009 07:06 PM         

people always think the worse of my intentions on here,

either i want some attention, love, or i just think its all about 'me'.

all so wrong...

and this ain't a ploy for a sympathy vote.