posted December 27, 2009 07:52 PM         

The thoughts of him caring about my race went away...UNTIL he added me on facebook. And didn't want to change his status. And being how I am I snooped like everything...and found out that he did indeed post and have "in a relationship up" with other girls. And that's when I wondered if it was because he couldn't show me to his family or claim we were together.

He has dated out of his race before...a hispanic girl.

posted December 27, 2009 08:01 PM         

quote:

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The thoughts of him caring about my race went away...UNTIL he added me on facebook. And didn't want to change his status. And being how I am I snooped like everything...and found out that he did indeed post and have "in a relationship up" with other girls. And that's when I wondered if it was because he couldn't show me to his family or claim we were together.

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I think you need to tell him all of this.

The part about him hoping someone would say something is sooo aqua! I would be the same way -- like I would have a look on my face saying "I DARE you to say something!" Because then I could "fight" for something.

posted December 27, 2009 11:04 PM         

quote:

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Lol Diana...you're SOOOO right. He is really is all about fighting for someone when they've been treated wrong. I've seen him like almost fight a guy because this guy was rude and disrespectful to a service worker at Wendy's...he's REALLY sensitive to when people are treated unfairly or wrongly or judged for something other than the type of person they are. Which I'm ALL over (being the uber liberal...bleeding heart, vegan, non profit worker, Californian I am lol). That's actually the part I LOVE the most about Aqua's and people with Aqua placements is at the end of the day they are soooo attuned to what true equality is judging someone based on what type of person they are.

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GrlyGirl, there is a song from the musical Hair, which describes some Aquarians to a tee:

How can people be so heartless
How can people be so cruel
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cold

How can people have no feelings
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no

And especially people
Who care about strangers
Who care about evil
And social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd?
How about a needing friend?
I need a friend

How can people be so heartless
You know I'm hung up on you
Easy to give in
Easy to help out

And especially people
Who care about strangers
Who say they care about social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd
How about a needing friend?
I need a friend

How can people have no feelings
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cold
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no

I can't tell you how many Aquarians I have dated who would cry at movies showing the plight of humanity, yet they wouldn't shed a tear in their personal relationships. This guy might be more sensitive since you said he is Cancer rising, but check out where his moon and Venus are...

posted December 27, 2009 11:14 PM         

I think his moon is in Libra, and Venus is in Cap...with his Mer in Pisces, and Mars in Aries.

He's been really sweet with me (and we've slept together, plus he tells me he's attached (again prior to us sleeping together he said this). And I was the 3rd person he's been with. The only two other people he was with was his first, and another girl he dated because she pursued him...and he thought she was cute he dated her.

And cried in front to me. But my worry is that he'll get bored of me. Plus he has said he usually only stays with girls like 3 months or so...that I'll be another girl who is done in a month. He said he expects the worse in relatioships and expects to be burned (that cap venus again)...but I don't know how I can be different. Or if I am.

posted December 28, 2009 12:36 AM         

Relax. Be yourself. If the relationship is meant to be successful, it will be. You really can't make it happen by worrying and snooping around and speculating.

I think it is good to remember that what you need is a man that is right for YOU.

posted December 28, 2009 12:58 AM         

Plus relationships are very hard for me. I stay out of them to not get hurt. And unlike some people me getting hurt takes FOREVER to get over. So I just don't date. I basically have a wall that I won't let anyone in. And when they do enter...I can feel like my right arm was cut off if they leave.

posted December 28, 2009 02:36 PM         

♥

posted December 28, 2009 05:10 PM         

But part of me wonders if he is backtracking...he is a cap venus...so if he is going slower because we have time now. Before we thought he was moving away so we moved much more quickly (he even said usually he moves VERY slow and likes to be sure)...now I'm wondering if he is slowing down because emotions are involved. He doesn't say anything emotional at all...where he used to (he used to say that he was frustrated because he's attached...but now he doesn't say it). But he still texts every two days. And he'll say he misses me after I say it. He has told me he's not good at emotions and saying stuff...but he loves hearing it.

I think that I'm just going to have to talk to him about it. But I really like this guy. I just don't want to break up because as far as mutual goals, and what we enjoy and personalities if things continue the way they are I can see myself thinking about if we could have some sort of future, or him being someone I could potentially fall in love with/love (I have to say that...afterall I do live in the south and am 24...so I told him from day 1 that I'm looking for something potentially more serious and long lasting).

posted December 28, 2009 05:41 PM         

This guy sounds young (he does not look young but he does sound "young at mind" to me). I agree with Belage about everything she said regarding changing his status. It all seems VALID for this particular guy (considering his dating record).

Grly - I have a Capricorn Moon also (and Mars) - but my Sun is in Aries.. which is basically a very different placement to Cancer. Personally, an individual whose longest relationship was 3 months, may as well be a blank wall form my perspective.. That's about as much attention as I would give him (completely regardless of his looks and overall personality).
It is a personal choice - I honestly think your worries are more influenced by you Cancer sun.. and not so much the Moon..

My only advice is to do what you believe is best - putting feelings of pity aside.. Cancer is notorious for their inability to leave a crying person (even in situations where the crying is an act). Try to look at him in a very detached manner. Use the Capricorn Moon to assess - Is this person really what I'm looking for? Does he have the traits that are MOST important to me? Do I feel good overall?

If you feel unsafe - if you feel like you cannot trust him etc.. then this won't be the best relationship for you. Wait and see.

Re - the FB status - If you do decide to stay with this guy and it does last (longer than it has so far) I wouldn't discuss the FB status. I wouldn't "talk" about it.
I'd simply mention it WHILE he was on his computer and ask him to change it. Don't drag the topic on or discuss it. So far - he has not said that he doesn't want to change it or that he will not change it. He said that "he doesn't know how to" and “seldom uses FB”. Either he is being honest - or else - he knows that on some level it would be "wrong" for him to say to you "I will not do this."
For that ^ reason.. I do believe that he would make the change, if you asked him *clearly* - when he is sitting down at his computer.

It shouldn't be more than a 5 min thing. It definitely shouldn't turn into a 2 hour conversation about your insecurities or his possible rebelliousness..

___________

posted December 28, 2009 06:33 PM         

Actually his longest relatioship he was in was three YEARS. He was going to marry her, and they broke up in 2008. I meant after her every realtionship he has had since has been three months at the most (and according to him he only slept with one of the girls he dated). Which as far as he said hasn't been many. In fact only one became facebook official.

You are right. I know I'm moving fast. I think a big chunk of why I'm moving fast isn't really due to my Cancer sun...I actually blame (especially physically) my mars in the 1st, and my pluto aspects wanting to express how much I feel.

He is two years younger than myself. And I do think that he does things that are quite immature, for instance he loves to dress up as a pirate lol. But (and most readers will understand this if and only if they have lived/or are from the south) if you're in the south people have a tendency to couple up (ESPECIALLY when graduating or done with college) very soon. And he still gets drunk alot. I on the other hand am pushing 25...so while I do still love to hang out and have fun...its not really surrounding getting "wasted" all the time lol.

So I do agree that if he wasn't wishy washy (and for the most part he isn't...just sometimes he is...darn Aqua sun) and told me that he generally keeps 3 month relationships (after his first love), and if I wouldn't have seen all the info from his ex of three years then I would have been comfortable with him. Afterall my Venus is in Taurus, and we do (for better or worse) couple up and tend to stick to things. My Mars in 1st just makes me couple up quite quickly lol.

posted December 28, 2009 07:06 PM         

Sowwy! Somehow, scrolling down I missed the first half of that post.
So a Leo/Libra with an Aries Mars was his longest relationship.. I'd imagine she was at least a little bit pushy.
You know, judging by his chart but also what you've been saying about him, he doesn't seem like someone who needs to be treated with kid-gloves.

As a slight attitude-change.. maybe be more assertive.. I'm guessing your immediate reaction is to go with his flow, purely for emotional reasons and to create an atmosphere in which he feels GOOD.. (which is something I often notice Cancer women doing)

However.. I think there is a time for that ^, and a time to be a little feistier.. I wouldn't be TOO nice with this guy, because he comes across as emotionally volatile. He probably needs some "structure" & it's ok to put your foot down on occasion.

posted December 28, 2009 07:50 PM         

In this day and age people are able to hide behind a social network or text a break up over the phone or im one, make themselves sound better then what they are through online profiles..

It's like we no longer traditionally show our partners to our parents/friends face to face it's now via facebook status or text message and if you didn't read the status or get the text message God forbid you don't get it shoved down your throat by endless.."DUH..it was on my facebook..".."DUH I texted it to you AND sent a pic text of my bf/gf to you.."

I can log into facebook and see whose dating who, whose flirting with who even though I don't snoop..it's all because people my age..foolishly put so much stock in facebook that when I log onto facebook I am accidently thrusted into people's private lives and inner dramas..

Sometimes I feel like nothing is real anymore, like being connected to another person is not enjoyable anymore for me because it's always.."Let me add to my facebook/myspace..".."Imma text you kay babe.."..I mean what about a phone call or a real conversation..

posted December 28, 2009 08:01 PM         

His longtime gf was a Leo/Lib, Mer in Virgo/Venus in Can/Mars in Aries and she deff seemed to be quite strong. And seemed to wear the pants in the relationship. And she seemed QUITE clingy. In fact he said that she called ALL the time...and she posted on his wall EVERYDAY. In fact with my recent snooping (from like two days ago lol) I noticed she's not his facebook friend anymore. When I was first snooping she was. Mmmm I wonder why shes not now.

I'm pretty strong as well, my Cap moon is tough as nails...and of course I have a Leo Mer. Plus my Sun and Mars are in the 1st house. But my Can Sun and Rising just make me seem nicer than I actually am. In fact no one would EVER guess that I snoop or that I had a tendency to seek revenge once I got hurt (again those pesky pluto aspects).

I'm wondering if you seeing the Pisces Rising (which I hope he is completely, then he would have a Virgo moon) is more based on the fact that his Venus is tighly conjunct Neptune.

When we were trying to guess his ascendant someone said Pisces. And I wondered if that was attributed to him having a Cap Rising...with Neptune in the first and Neptune conjunct the Ascendant. Basically I was trying to find something that would fit with him being a mechanical engineer.

And in his defense he said he had reasons for why the relationships didn't last beyond like three months. He said one time that a girl (two months in) said she expects guys she's with to pay for each meal whenever they go out. And that she only dates guys who make a certain amount of money. Another girl he was dating for like a month, when they went out to dinner said something rude to the waitress and he was done.

I'm DEFF feeling something watery from him, and to be honest I just don't see his supposed Libra Moon. Anyway I do have tons of pics of him...so if you want to try to guess his ascendant that would be great.

posted December 28, 2009 08:19 PM         

You're right. The whole networking site/online communication stuff is pointless and at the end of the day crap. And I feel has made people more superficial and less connected. But the thing is what do you do.

I'm a grad student, and to get in touch with people you email them (which I HATE doing). I'd rather settle something face to face. Which is like near impossible to do lol. But in todays world how can you sidestep all this instant communication.

I know sites like myspace and facebook aren't about who the "actual" person is...but who they want to present to others. So if you're not someone who wants to play the game and give in (and this goes with ALL instant superficial communication/media) how do you deal with it.

I get your post, and I even feel bad about the fact that it takes three pages of this post to deal with. But I think that all of this isn't really about facebook or myspace but is really about how disconnected humans are. Hopefully that made sense.