posted December 28, 2009 08:42 PM         

know what?

not worth my time.

posted December 28, 2009 08:43 PM         

We are an interracial couple (I'm black and hispanic and he is white). And I've had experiences in the past where bfs have by all appearances been "with me" but wouldn't put it on facebook...only to find out they didn't want their family etc to find out about me. We live in the south (you're from Clinton...and I go to one of the big football schools here), so this is something that I'm VERY sensitive to. I would appreciate if you maybe read things...then perhaps reply. But no its not just due to me being possessive. In fact I don't want his status to say anything or to link profiles, but I'm just wondering if my color is something that matters as he has family on his account.

posted December 28, 2009 08:46 PM         

However, there is just something about his eyes that still makes me think Pisces..

posted December 28, 2009 08:51 PM         

But I did read somewhere that Cap rising has a hooked nose, and he has a hooked nose. I do have more pics if you'd like to try and see more pics of him. I do know that whatever he has is quite compatible with me. We get along...so I'm not sure what he is exactly lol. And he doesn't know when he was born.

But he screamed Virgo moon, because guys with Libra ANYTHING have a tendency to care about fashion...and looking really good (clothing) he doesn't care. He cares about how cheap stuff is.

posted December 28, 2009 09:31 PM         

Although I do feel for your situation, Im in something similiar though I've been here before..

I really like this person, were on the same campus we "can" see eachother and hangout and on her facebook she's gay friendly but..it's like she doesn't want to be seen with me though her facebook clearly shows she into girls..she avoids me on campus, but uses facebook and texting to be with me..

I have a feeling she has not come out to her family and I wish she would just tell me..it really sucks to be someone's dirty little secret but be torn at the same time because you don't want them to get into trouble with their parents..

I always feel like I attract these people because the last time this happen to me it wasn't so much as my sexual identity as it was my race that they were keeping secret..eventually their mom found out and we didn't speak after that..

Is it wrong for me to be tired of being a secret..is it wrong to ask for something more...? Im a being a drama queen to get upset over something like that lol..?

Yeah Im eighteen and I shouldn't exspect much from my peer group except flings but I would like to be able to just have a heart to heart connection with someone...and yes Im shy and sorta closed off but Im getting restless of being that way and I want to be open..I mean REALLY open..to someone not with text messaging and facebooking..

posted December 28, 2009 10:19 PM         

"Is it wrong for me to be tired of being a secret..is it wrong to ask for something more...? Im a being a drama queen to get upset over something like that lol..?"

NO, it is deff NOT wrong to want to not be someone's dirty secret. In fact I don't think that makes you a drama queen at ALL. I don't think that at 18 you should only expect you're going to have flings. Relationships at any age are about validation(not in the needy sense...but more about feeling loved/appreciated for who you are)...especially if emotions are involved. I happen to feel that if someone won't acknowledge someone because of them being or having (as they see it) a taboo trait then they shouldn't even get involved.

I'm 24 soon to be 25 so relatioships for me are more about potential marriage partners than just having a fling, but still at my age or 18 its always better to have your emotions involved. And not have a fling.

posted December 29, 2009 12:28 AM         

quote:

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I think the reason why I do treat him with kid gloves is because I know usually Aquas like someone who is go with the flow. But in general its not my nature and I'm deff a control freak, passionate and intense. But I love when someone can challenge me. In fact we've had a few arguments, and I actually like that...call me weird but to me arguments, and responding with emotions=passion for me.

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So you like arguments when you're in a romantic relationship, GG? You probably have squares or oppositions to your venus, mars, ascendant, descendant or sun in your natal chart...

Unless your partner has squares of a similar nature so he shares your love of volatility, in the long run, he will tire of all the fighting.

posted December 29, 2009 12:52 AM         

quote:

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I think the reason why I do treat him with kid gloves is because I know usually Aquas like someone who is go with the flow. But in general its not my nature and I'm deff a control freak, passionate and intense.

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Why are you acting a certain way towards him based on his sign? Do people actually do this? Not to be critical, but you should just act how you are, because if you really are a control freak etc., he will eventually find out and leave you because of it if he isn't into that.

posted December 29, 2009 02:23 AM         

I honestly and completely understand where you are coming from because I have been through similar experiences and I know the feeling of being viewed as being an exotic mini-adventure that the explorer (man) will enjoy and then abandon to go back to his roots. But in this case, you are just being insecure.

You mention over and over again about 'the past' and 'past men' and the fact that you have been the 'dark secret'. But, this is the past.
Right now, there is no guarantee that he will do the same to you.

In my country, people would say that you are trying to cross the bridge before reaching the river = jumping ahead, becoming anxious about circumstances that may never occur.

If you can't make peace with your insecurities and these past experiences, then your relationship will be destroyed via a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you fear will become true.

If I were you, I would try to relax.
I was like this at the beginning of the relationship but I made the decision to become secure and finally realized that he truly loves me and cares about me.

I get insecure from time to time about the entire situation because relatives of his (and obviously, people of his community) don't agree with our union, and this makes me wonder if he will stick with me regardless....but I take a break and analyze if I am being reasonable. Most of the time, I am not.

I am also a water sun (scorpio) with an opposing taurus moon.

In regards to facebook, it is nonsense.

posted December 29, 2009 03:48 AM         

Oh yeah I do completely lol. My Sun/Asc/Mars are all Conjunct and Opp my Moon in the 1st. My Mer/Moon are Sq Pluto and my Venus is Opp Sat and Pluto. As far as the Aqua I know he has Venus Sq Mars by sign…and regarding his other placements I don’t know his Rising and as a result don’t know his Moon. If it’s in Virgo its Squ both Jup/Uranus and Opp his Mer. And if its in Libra it would be Sq his Ven/Mars/and Nep. So I’m guessing either way there is some sort of volatility in him lol.

Plus I am a Venus in Taurus, so I love consistency but I’m by no means boring, I also love passionate fights every now and then to shake things up.

“but you should just act how you are, because if you really are a control freak etc., he will eventually find out and leave you because of it if he isn't into that.”

posted December 31, 2009 01:56 PM         

I think Facebook/Myspace have morphed into something very similar to dating sites. I don’t think this was their original intention, but it’s what they’ve become. So I have to ask – If someone is in a committed declared relationship, would they care if their significant other kept on his or her profile up and active on match.com? For me, the answer is yes, I would care. I think it would be a sign of disrespect, and lack of commitment. It would make me think my partner had one proverbial foot out the door, and for my Cancer self, that would be the end of the relationship as I don’t do casual well.

In the same respect, the “Single” status on myspace and facebook advertises that you are available, in the same way an active profile on a dating site does. And it can and will encourage more liberal attention from the opposite sex. It’s just the way the social networking sites seem to work.

So yes, I think it’s completely fair for you to ask your partner to change his status.

Now, I’ll also say this - men are more assuredly wired different than women – they don’t spend as much time really thinking about the relationship or you. It’s what makes them so easy going and downright wonderful to be around, but at the same time it’s also what can make them so forgetful when it comes to the things that are important to you. There is a distinct possibility that your man MEANS to change his status, he just hasn’t remember to do it yet. My now husband (also a Cancer but with some hefty Uranus placements) took several months to change his when we first started dating – and I went through every emotion I’m sure you are feeling right now. When asked he’d say he forgot or didn’t know where it was. At the time I felt he was fibbing and just wasn’t committed to me. I figured he had some girl(s) on myspace that he was still hoping for a shot at. But now, after four years together, I know him well enough to say he really did just forget. When he’s not with me he doesn’t spend much time thinking about us and trying to come up with ways to make me happy – it’s just the way he’s wired. So little things I ask him to do often don’t come into his mind until I’m right in front of him (or in a puddle on the floor crying about why he didn’t do this or that).

Since your guy in an Aqua – I’d appeal to him in a rational way. Explain the reasons it’s important to you – give him some time and then see what happens. If he’s not willing or refuses to do something so simple to make you feel more happy and secure – then I think you should seriously ask yourself if this is the right man for you. I’m not saying he’d be bad or evil, but YOU my dear, are a soft, gentle, sensitive cancer girl – with a wellspring of emotional depth that could frighten lesser men. Can you honestly envision a life with someone that doesn’t care about what hurts you? If you are wired like most of us crab gals then I’m betting you need a bit more empathy and sensitivity than most. I’m quite sure this guy balances you beautifully being a rational Aqua – his very difference probably makes you feel more complete – but don’t ignore you need for understanding, patience, and gentle care.

In closing, yes, I think myspace and facebook absolutely can contribute to the destruction of relationships. But really they are just tools –what kills relationships is people that use those tools to promote unfaithfulness. Many of these people don’t really see digital flirtations or even cybersex as a lack of faithfulness. It all seems so innocent when done in a virtual medium, until it blossoms into something that involves real feeling and ultimately an emotional affair or even more. It’s a whole new modern world, and we all have to redefine boundaries and decide what’s allowed and not allowed in relationships. My stance on it is pretty conservative. I think what’s considered unfaithful when said or done face to face should be considered unfaithful when it’s typed. But each of us needs to define our digital boundaries for ourselves. It’s also something I think couple should discuss, to make sure everyone is on the same page.

posted December 31, 2009 04:14 PM         

quote:

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My Pluto is exactly conjunct your Venus.

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Vapor-lash:

How YOU doin?

quote:

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As far as the Aqua I know he has Venus Sq Mars by sign

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I have this in my natal chart by degree. Venus in Scorpio square Mars in Leo...my last ex called me "tempestuous" LOL. I like a passionate argument, for sure...followed by even more passionate kissing/make up sex

If he has this square, plus what you have shared about some of your interactions, he absolutely shares your love of volatility.

No one wants to argue all the time but without a little conflict relationships would be very boring.

quote:

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My dear, you are a soft, gentle, sensitive cancer girl – with a wellspring of emotional depth that could frighten lesser men. Can you honestly envision a life with someone that doesn’t care about what hurts you? If you are wired like most of us crab gals then I’m betting you need a bit more empathy and sensitivity than most.

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