posted December 04, 2010 06:21 PM            

Its a challenge.
i have a blog that I keep. you should check out the latest post that I wrote about my experience with all that you are going through.

I know you can do it. Pluto transits have a way of turning us inside out. Its truly worth it though. That Pluto opposite Venus transit is settling in for you.

posted December 04, 2010 06:32 PM            

Electricmind - you are very wise. I was thinking the same thing, but didn't know how to word it in a way that would not sound critical.

Lioness - I don't think you see your own inner-strength. You are choosing to replay the victim role without recognising that you have taken charge of your life and your destiny in so many ways.

YOU left your first childs abusive father as he was not worthy of you and your daughter
YOU did not follow your mother when she moved from California
YOU have not moved back to the family you have that live elsewhere
YOU have not followed your deported husband, CHOOSING instead to put your elder daughters needs before your own

You should see that actually YOU are driving the course of your life. We all have external factors impacting on our lives, and not everyone would be as strong as you in the choices they make. I absolutely applaud you.

I can't account for your childhood and the impact it has had, it's not something I can directly relate to, so please don't feel I am belittling it. Electric is right, as long as you replay the abandonment story, and expect the outcome to be different, you will be disappointed. YOU are the only one who can change the pattern.

posted December 04, 2010 06:34 PM            

Let's look at this from another perspective.

Three is a terrific number, you can do a lot with three.
Three Musketeers
Three Wise Men
Three Men in a Tub
(you get my point)

It can't be about you right now,
you've made some amazingly strong decisions, now get your house in order.
Focus on your kids
Start some Family Traditions
Your in-laws are too busy?
It's their loss.
There is no better investment than your children
This is going to complete you and make you very happy.
You have so much to be thankful for, embrace it.

I talk to you like this because you can't change what has already happened but you can pursue the positive.

posted December 04, 2010 07:07 PM            

I wanted to clear something up though.. I dont want any one to feel sorry for me.. I have lived this life for a reason.. I was meant to be left, for what ever reason.. I believe everything happens for a reason...

I dont feel I am a victim.. I basically feel that I was destined to be left alone to "do it alone" I believe that is part of my destiny for what ever the reason.. Whats meant to be is.. No matter what.. I just have to thank god for the aspect that gives me the strength and will power to take on, what ever comes my way.. I am an extremely strong person, and I do "handle" what ever happens.. If I didnt I would have been pounding my head on a padded wall by now... lol...
This is my Karmic life.. I guess.. Being an 8 born and 8 life path and an 8 destiny and being born on the 8th phase of the moon...

I some how choose to do this, I guess.. So my only option is to accept it.. When it comes along..
I do feel abandoned, but I feel it was pre-destined...

I guess the holidays, just makes me sad, feeling that I have no where to go for me and my kids.. I feel sad for them.. I feel like its my fault they dont have family no cousins, no aunts no uncles... I cant give them this.. I feel like I have denied them a family... If that makes sense..

Please dont feel sorry for me... I really dont want that...

posted December 04, 2010 07:11 PM            

SE 13 degree in capricorn 4 jan.

Not far away from an Strong love transit aspect. In this time people around you will se you very beautiful. I have this aspect now and has been in long time. My daughter say all the time how beautiful I look. She want be as me when she be old she say. he he. It's good someone say so

Transit neptun/chiron will be in trine to your N venus
Transit uranus will square your N venus in cancer. Expect you suddenly events and meetings. I love uranus in square. Everything will be in the front of the light.

Your house 5 ruler moon and sun in your SR house 5. Possible to love

Your DC ruler merk (rules by virgo) conj your DC in virgo. STRONG.

The first I saw when I looking to your Chart was SR merk conj your /DC in virgo and your MC to your N.N.

Your N chart looks fantastic. I like your leo in house 6. I've so much in virgo but I'm an strong leo. All your leo looks like virgo in some way as me looks like virgo in much. Your fine pisces ASC Neptun trine your SR moon.
Have you think about move somewhere?

The Solare eclipse and new beginning will trine your N DC almost exact.( and square my IC)
SE quinkunx your moon.

Both LE and SE are so strong to your Natal.
I think it looks like so exciting in your life just now.
Much transit and extremly much from LE and SE to your Natal chart.
Strong love transit to your venus in cancer. I've may venus 28 and my mars in 2 so I expect me the same

posted December 04, 2010 07:14 PM            

I also understand the guilt thing. I am last person that should be opining on this. Sometimes I think that the biggest gift you can give your children is being happy. They SO know when you're not, and I think they may carry some guilt for that for the rest of their lives.

I don't know what else to say - we can't fix it for you (I hate that!) - but I guess you just needed to vent.

posted December 04, 2010 07:25 PM            

What do u think is in store for me?

posted December 04, 2010 07:43 PM            

Here's the Christmas Card Drive Thread:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum25/HTML/001979.html

If you participate, I will definitely send you and your family a Christmas Card this year!

------------------
The good is the beautiful.

posted December 04, 2010 07:54 PM            

What do u think is in store for me? The first I always say to everyone when they feel empty. Food. It's number one. The body and brain need correctly of nutrient. This is basic for many people but in time people forgot how important it's actually is. I forgot it sometimes and feel the different quick. Number 2 sleep. Number 3 friends.

I cant feel you will feel as you do now in long time. Maybee I've wrong. I see you get strenght from your children and the people you have around you. You got energy from kindly people. I see you like your job. In someway your job bring you energy even if you sometimes feel it's hard. I think its your ex love who took your energy to much. I think when you be off him for a while your energy will be changed.

posted December 05, 2010 12:11 AM            

you are not alone at all

you are just amazing for raising two children on your own. Seriously, God bless you.

posted December 09, 2010 02:23 PM            

I just would say that maybe that pluto-venus square and saturn near the IC.

saturn lessons? maybe there is message to become more independently emotionally, which can be indicated with ur uranus in 7th..

just think about it... listening to you have remind me of myself because i had a saturn square venus transit until a short time ago and transiting pluto opposing my venus for some time. I can identify with your feelings...but keep strong!!! you will get more emotionally independent after this transit.

hope this help.. all my best

posted December 09, 2010 03:12 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lioness:
I know I have never really opened up here,but I now feel like I can.. I haven't said much about my personal life..

Maybe it's the holidays, that makes me sad and want to discuss it..

Anyways I always get abandoned.. I'm always just left to figure it out for myself.. Why is my life destined to do everything alone...

I never met my father.. I am an only child. It was basically just me and my mom..I was born in the Ky, when I was 6 my mom packed us up and moved to Cali. Leaving behind all family G.parents.cousins. aunts.. etc... everyone..
My mom struggled and did what she had to do to raise me.. I grew up with little, but she some how managed to get me what I needed.. Even if it was late.. At some point I eventually got it.. I spent most of my child hood, alone in my room..

I got pregnant at the age of 19 by a dead beat father, we tried to work through things, but he has his own issue's.. He was abusive so I left in the middle of the night.. With really no place to go.. My mom just moved back to Ky... never to return.. Leaving me alone...
I struggled and raised my daughter alone.. With no help from anyone..
When my daughter was 7 I got married, he helped me, we helped each other.. It wasnt perfect, but I wasnt alone.. I had another child when my daughter was 10..

When my son turned 6, my husband was arrested and then deported.. Again leaving me alone to raise my kids alone with zero help.. ( I wont move to another country) His family lives here, but they are "busy" and dont help me at all.. Not even visiting even though they only live 5 mins away. My husband wouldnt have ever left me, but fate stepped in and made sure it happen.. Once he was gone, I felt I couldnt do the long distance thing, and I had no choice but to call it quits with him.. I cant live like that..

I get depressed on the holidays, I have no where to go.. I have no family (expect for my kids) Yes we spend the time together,but everyone else is with big families and having a good time.. Im here alone making the best of it for the kids.. the kids ask why dont we go to families house for the holidays.. It breaks my heart.. How do I tell them, bc its just us.. We have no family... Its just the 3 of us... I havent seen my mom in over 10 years.. I asked her if she can come and visit, and she said no I have no reason to go to calf.. Its really expensive to fly the 3 of us back to Ky.. Verse just her flying here..

Why am I also left behind.. Im so tired of doing everything on my own.. I dont know how much more I can take..

This is why I dont get close to people, they are just going to leave anyways... Why even get close to anyone...

---

Your absent father has a lot to do with it. Men see you as "easy", so they don't really have to earn you. You are not a challenge so to these men they feel as though they can take advantage of you. The lack of a challenge usually bores these men and they will leave you for something else. If you strengthen your will, respect yourself more and make men work to get you then you will have them more under your finger.

posted December 09, 2010 10:29 PM            

So your assumption of me being easy is incorrect.. Actually men see me as the one that they cant tie down, the one that wont commit.. But thats neptune fogging them... lol.. Even Pisces told me I know I could never have you to myself... He thinks I was seeing him and others at the same time... Shrugggg....

My issues are bc of people that shouldnt have left, mom, dad.. have left or been taken away... Even my husband was taken away... If he wasnt taken away, we would still be together..
Basically I feel abandoned because I have no family.. I was taken away from family and then left alone... The husband would have never left me, so fate stepped him and made sure he left..

posted December 10, 2010 05:20 AM            

What if in a similar situation, you were the foreigner, and you were take away? Would he have moved to your country or to a 3rd country just to be together?
What if he had done something like this for you in a past life? It becomes a binding karmic debt.

Legally, any foreigner marrying a US Citizen for more than 10 years and fathering a child [automatic citizen] cannot be easily deported, he can demand and get a Green Card if any good Immigration Lawyer had taken up his case. Has he tried to fight the deportation? Have you helped him fight the deportation?

Why I am pointing this out is that if he feels abandoned by you, and if he does not accept your nullifying the marriage because he got deported, then by a 4th Dimensional Hermetic Law, his "vibration" of Anguish will continue to affect both of you because the marriage has not been annulled to the satisfaction of the "Lords of Karma". This is an Occult Secret, and clue to many a woman's misery who leaves a negative husband, whose negative vibes continue to afflict her and her kids.

You have to make peace with him, and clarify to him that you did not abandon him and that he should not think this way.

posted December 10, 2010 11:31 AM            

The US I cant believe the way the deport people.. They take them to the border with chains (even families, with small kids) around the hands and waist and feet.. They took him at midnight, with no ID and not even a dollar to his name... Not even change to make a phone call..