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Author
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Topic: Gem Man... What does he expect?
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littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 03:56 PM
  
*sigh*Thank you for your honesty. I'm not expecting much from him right now...anyway I'll get to that in a bit. I can see how everything a bit more clearly now. You both were clearly very much in love. You both love each other but won't allow yourselves to give one another love. You have your Leo pride mixed in with the protectiveness of cancer influence and that just makes for someone very hard to get close to once they've been hurt. (Btw your story made me tear up) He's got this nonchalant attitude to hide his deep feelings for you. That murky Pisces moon really feels a lot. I'm Pisces influenced myself and it can be confusing at times. Often you blind yourself and then you pay for it. In his case by not breaking up with his gf sooner and being with you, when it was you he truly wanted. You hurt him by dating his friend and then marrying him on top of that, which is why he lied to you about sleeping with your friend, to get you back so to speak and see how it feels. Look to be to the point without writing a book, I really feel you guys have something special. I feel like the both of you will never forget one another and always wonder "what if". A love like yours doesn't always come along in a person's lifetime. If I were you I would treasure it. There is much pain in both your stories and unless you move past it you won't heal. I've read in some posts that you're highly Uranian (correct me if I'm wrong) and I'm wondering if this doesn't tie into it somehow. I feel like you are afraid to trust him and take the plunge like you had done the first time. I feel like he's wary of you and acting in response to you, that's a Pisces reaction. They usually wait for your action first and then respond to it. I suppose this is why he hasn't "chased" you. He doesn't know if you still want him. The way I see it you two have not truly forgiven each other because you both refuse to accept blame. For example, you could have gone to him when Virgo proposed and said "Gem, I still love you." He couldn't tell you not to marry Virgo because you had repeatedly shut him out telling him not to really contact you, that you two can't hang out etc. Which goes back to his having lied to you in the beginning, (which like a Pisces influenced person he did out of confusion and trying to protect you while he figured things out) his plan backfired and he had the opportunity to ask you for forgiveness when you first confronted him but he denied it, I suppose he felt denying it would help him avoid the truth of what was happening. As you can see there is blame all around but the one thing you both can do is decide to make a better future for yourselves. You guys aren't missing love in your relationship but you are missing the courage to love each other. That's what I see/feel, I hope you two can work things out. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 04:15 PM
I just wanted to clear something up first.. Virgo and Gem were not friends.. I did not date one of Gem's friends.. Virgo was friends with my friends, and my friends invited virgo out with us.. Gem was invited by me, and he was there with me.. Gem and Virgo never really talked to each other.. Maybe a Hi, and thats about it. Im still reading the rest of your story. I will comment soon  IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 04:30 PM
*points at self* StupidIP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 04:49 PM
sighhhh... Yes Im highly Uranus, he is also.. We both have Uranus in H7. Were too much alike.. We both want the same thing from the other, but we want the other person to be the first.. lol... NEither of us is going to admit anything...
As for your Leo, when he was calling you, he probably wanted to know what he did wrong, so he could explain him self.. Then when he got threaten.. Im sure that was a shell shock.. HE might of thought you had a BF all that time, and didnt tell him... Or honestly he was probably worried that he was getting in the way, of you and this guy.. He didnt want to "risk" damaging some relationship..
I walked away from Gem, and 10 years later we reunited... You never know.. If its meant to be, it will happen when the time is right..
You did what you could, you contacted him... The rest is up to him... The next move is his.. All you can do is continue with your life, think fondly of him, and have no regrets!! IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 05:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by littlecloud:
*points at self* Stupid
Noooooooooo... lol IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 05:23 PM
Actually there is no way for him to contact me. I don't have any of my old contact info. The number I used to call him came up private/blocked and I'm sure the txt msgs have been deleted either by him or his gf. If I heard what Leo had heard on the phone from a stranger I'd be shell shocked too. I'd feel betrayed as well. He knows I didn't have a bf all that time, well at least I hope so. I just never expected that type of coldness from him. That shocked me. I'm leaving it be for now, I mean there's not much I can do. It just hurts a lot. As stupid as it may sound...Something's going to happen in August though...I just don't know what yet... As far you two not admitting to anything...well it seems that you're self-fulfilling your own prophecy. By repeatedly saying "we can't move past this, neither of will admit anything," etc you make yourself believe that this is the way it will be and then act according to that. Understand what I'm saying? The only way to truly make things work between you guys is to get out of this mindset (him too). If that is what you truly want. It's hard but changing the way you act to someone will change the way they react to you, maybe not the first or second time but eventually it will. That's the only way to make things work. I'm sorry if I'm stepping out of bounds by saying all this, I just thought I'd offer what minuscule wisdom I have.  (going to delete my previous post now that you've read it) IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 05:26 PM
How did you guys happen to reunite anyway?IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 05:31 PM
Ahh you should have left it for others to comment also.. You never know..
Well I DID text GEM... lol Ok guys if it back fires Im coming after all of you.. lol .
I texted him... Hey I dont want to be in bad terms with u... friends????? 45 mins later he didnt reply.. So I said OK I will try ONE more time.. So then I texted: I feel bad, i do value ur friendship.. i do enjoy our talks.. friends????? He replied back in 2mins... Who's this?? lol just kidding, were good.. ttyl im at da gym, gotta get this out da way.. I replied back.. OK So it's his move next... lol IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 05:36 PM
*shrugs* I don't feel comfortable having something that personal up. I cried while I was writing that, it's still very fresh. You sound like you're playing chess lol. Where's his Jupiter? IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 05:49 PM
LOL.. We have a both way Juipter opps SunMy jup in Sag opps his Gem Sun
his Jup in Aqua opps my Leo Sun/moon,merc.. Hold on I will post our synastry. If you want to see it... IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 05:52 PM
yea sure... I think sometimes Jupiter is overlooked. I saw a Jupiter interp that really went into detail and surprised me. It was very accurate and filled in some holes. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 05:53 PM
 IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 06:20 PM
HOLY SH*T!
His destinn is conjunct your AC. Could it be anymore obvious?IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 06:32 PM
This is an interp of Jupiter in Aqua that I found...
This position causes you to see opportunity in very broad social, artistic, political matters. If your aim gets broader than your capacities - and it may! - you can be a drifter with high principles and little to show for them. If your abilities are up to your aims, you go far, for then you will see opportunity in all manner of big public things, and the free flow of your energies in these directions will lead effortlessley to success. Nothing is too big for you to envision, and even if it's too big for you to tackle or master, you dare to think about it. Air castles can be your downfall; you have to strive continuously to find the practical (if rough) methods by which they may be constructed into houses of earth. You are capable of passing up financial chances if they interfere with your larger aims. You have to learn the value of security because this position doesn't give it to you. Your tendency is to see life through the wrong end of the opera glasses; realities recede in favor of other things, and a liberal dose of the earth is necessary somewhere else in the chart if this position is to contribute to success
(Stephen Arroyo)
With Jupiter in Aquarius, one seeks to grow and to improve oneself through humanitarian ideals, intellectual development, and daring experimentation. Optimism can be deflected by an overly-detached, uninvolved attitude, but one is usually generous toward others. One's faith is eccentric, individualistic, unorthodox, and unique to oneself. One trusts in the unity of all humanity and all knowledge, and has a broad tolerance for a wide variety of free expression.
Since Aquarius is co-ruled by the risk-taking, rebellious planet Uranus, it is not surprising that those with Jupiter here are usually qutie comfortable taking risks in many areas of life. In fact, social, political, intellectual and creative risks are stimulating to them and even necessary for them to feel alive. In the area of human relationships, they will also take chances as to the form, structure, and definition of their relationships; but perhaps it is the Saturn co-rulership of Aquarius that introduces a strong disinclination toward risk- taking as soon as they enter the domain of emotions in those relationships. Free and easy, tolerant, unconventional they can be, so long as they are not made to deal with or express emotions. Those with Jupiter in Aquarius are often quite unaware of some aspects of down-to-earth life and human feelings, which is understandable since they seek to rise above emotions and to seek well-being in detachment. They easily place their trust in large ideas and plans, but remain uncomfortable with the subtler nuances of human relationships, unless perhaps they have personal planets in Water signs. This of course should not be surprising since Aquarius is an Air sign, not a Water sign. But this is a particularly aloof Air sign and more detached and cold than Gemini or Libra.
These people often cultivate extreme ideas and beliefs, sometimes vacillateing between quite contradictiory concepts. They are very independent people, even to the point of being so willful as to be described as downright contrary.
With this placement come both humanitarian impulses and the flaunting of social conventions. In all fairness, however, it should be stated that some people with Jupiter in Aquarius express a sort of ivory-tower humanitarianism, sometimes with a streak of arrogance and even acting condescending to 'less intelligent' people. This must be what
Jeff Mayo observed, which led him to the comments below.
Mayo wrote of this placement: 'Rudely tactless and intolerant. [At best] impartial and broad-minded'. Carter wrote 'Just, humane, often gifted in science'. Davison wrote: 'Enthusiasm for humanitarian casuses, reform. Expands originality... imagination, philosophical interests'. Hickey wrote: 'Makes a good scientist interested in large projects and reform. Expands interest in group endeavors and can work well with others. Keen judgement and good intellect. Gives originality and the ability to implant new ideas in other minds. Make good diplomate, labor relations experts, personnel managers and organizers'. Moore & Douglas wrote: 'These individuals have inventive minds which are well-adapted to promoting comprehensive programs of a philanthropic nature... often becomes involved in the handling and distribution of money in the interest of social, scientific, or charitable enterprises'.
These folks are often drawn to government service, and are what Marcia Moore called 'the ideal democrat with a knack for handling groups of people'.
Sometimes a 'know-it-all' arrogance can be observed in this placement; but also a courage and risk-taking propensity - based on a vision of the future - centrally characterizes an Aquarian Jupiter.
In fact, those with Jupiter here are focused on the future. Rarely materialistic, their sense of prosperity and confidence comes from exercising their unique breadth of vision. As Moore and Douglas put it, their 'broadened viewpoint introduces new patterns of perception'. Many with this placement achieved scientific and / or creative breakthroughs.
IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 07:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by littlecloud:
HOLY SH*T!
His destinn is conjunct your AC. Could it be anymore obvious?
LOL.. Yeah but here's how I see it.. Also how he "seemed" to explain things to me, and how he felt... He told me this during Venus rx.. First yes, if there is a destined relationship, this is definitely a good example of one.. We did meet right when we were meant to meet.. We were destined to have a relationship, and we were destined to end it the way we did.. and reunite a decade later....
I always knew I would see him again.. When we did talk, and he explained to me what he did, he said look I was young and when I met you I was very confused.. I just became a father, and I had no choice but to stay... I wanted to do what was right.. When I met you, we were already discussing breaking up... You came in the pic, and you made me feel wanted and happy, we always had a good time, and there was just no stress.. We just did what we wanted.. Then me and the ex decided to try to work it out for the baby.. At that time I was already seeing you, and I didnt want to stop.. I enjoyed our time together alot... I didnt want to tell you bc I knew if I did you wouldnt accept it and you would leave.. So I kept it a secret.. She knew I didnt want to be with her anymore, which is why I was gone all weekend and I was with you.. I was only home, during the week to go to work..
I admit I was being selfish.. I cant change that, but I was so lost and confused, and with you I wasnt.. So being older now, yes I do understand why he did it... Im glad he told me this.. It did make me feel better.. But back then, we never had it out.. we never discussed what we were feeling good or bad.. So I guess we reunited during the venus rx to revisit these feelings, and to say what we needed to say.. Which we did.. Also to clear the air, and let the truth come one..
After we did that, things went down hill...
We try, but just cant seem to get it right with the other..... Its an awful mess.. Maybe we fulfilled our destiny with each other, maybe we havent only time will tell.. But honestly I really dont think I can feel the way he made me feel.. Not for him and not for anyone else....
When John told me.. I was standing there in one spot, and I could feel my soul buckle at the knees and just fall into tiny pieces.. As I stood there numb (as if my entire body fell asleep) emotionless... I could feel my entire body turning cold and heartless.. I felt like ice..
Its like later, I went to the spot I was standing, I could tell the spot because of the "burn marks left behind" I looked for my soul... I found a piece here and there... Then I saw a pile of ashes... I knew that was the part of my soul that was forever gone.. I watched as the wind picked up the ashes and blew them away.. A piece of me was forever with the wind.... I cant get that piece back.. I tried so hard... I cant... Its gone... I dont think I will ever feel that way again... IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 07:48 PM
As for your Leo... As long as you have a facebook acct in your name.. He shouldnt have any problems finding you, when the time is right... If he so chooses on day. IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 07:49 PM
 I know that feeling all too well. It's like your whole body shuts down, your mind everything. You go into survival mode, autopilot. You don't feel anything for a long time.
quote:
But honestly I really dont think I can feel the way he made me feel.. Not for him and not for anyone else....
This made me feel really sad. Where's that Pisces asc? Get into the Neptune groove and never give up hope. (this is where I usually hug people, mentally hugging you)
IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 07:53 PM
Well for the first time, I thought I could feel that way with Pisces... That didnt turn out well... LOL Maybe I need that moon/pluto to feel again??? IDK... Thanks hugging you back.. I hope one day you will run into ur Leo IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 08:11 PM
I hope so too I believe one day we will. I don't give up easy IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 08:11 PM
Actully littlecloud I want to really thank you, for taking the time and reading, and asking me questions... This really helped me.. I went back and had to really sit and think about what happen, and how I felt... Which wasnt easy to relive it. I think I understand now... I think I was holding on to the thought of him all these years....
I felt he stole a piece of me, and I want that piece back.
I felt that he was the key to getting that back..
That if he was back I could feel again.. I would have my soul back.. I wouldnt be lost..
I was so disappointed because he didnt give me, ME back... I have been so angry and upset with him, for keeping it and holding... Just give it back to me!! But I know thats not the case.. I have to let go of the hurt and get it back myself.. I have to grow it so to speak... I have to find a way to feel again.. The question is can I? Will I??
Thank you sooooooo much for taking the time to in reading my LONG story...
I am so grateful.....
IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 04, 2011 08:29 PM
We posted at the same time... I wanted to make sure you say this IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 05, 2011 06:43 AM
Just saw your last post.
No problem, I enjoyed reading your story. This is what I'm meant to do, help people. It feels right. It feels wrong not to...I've been forced not to at times...it was not a happy time for me. It went against everything I am.I'm glad you finally looked inside you, it's what I was trying to hint at you to do because I knew that is what you needed. You will feel again just because deep down inside you want to. I think that's what Pisces was meant to show you. I'll tell you one of my stories. I met my first love when I was turning 15. He made me feel like I could fly, like I could do anything I wanted to. This inexplicable feeling of joy had overwhelmed and seemed to carry me everywhere. Then one day he told me we can no longer speak or see each other. I felt much like you. A part of me died. I let myself go numb from that moment on, I'm now just beginning to let that numbness go. I met another guy a few years later who awoke the same feelings in me. We were friends first and then like overnight we seemed to develop feelings. We kept it casual but we knew it was more than that. I was so surprised that I could feel that way again. Deep down I knew there were some differences that would keep us from being together. He ended things with me. I wasn't happy about it but knew that it was probably inevitable anyway. It felt good though, and even though I knew in the end we couldn't be together I just wanted to ride it out, to enjoy that feeling again. Looking back on it I realize that he was meant to remind me not to give up hope. That I'm capable of receiving and giving love. After about 6 years I saw my first love again, we sat and talked. He has a gf now for 3 years. All I wanted to do was touch him and hold him. Not sexually, just to be close. During that day I felt like I had finally matured past him. When I first met him he seemed older than me (well he is) but after that day I feel like I've moved past him in some way and it'll take a few years for him to catch up. I suppose I wanted to hold him to say good-bye. It still hurts that he denied feeling for me but I know deep down that he did love me at one point, that I too hold some part of him. That gives me comfort. IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 05, 2011 06:05 PM
I am now obsessing over charts. I have an approximate birth time, so I keep playing with that. Oh and I thought you'd like to know, we have moon square pluto, and venus square pluto, I'm pluto in both. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 05, 2011 09:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by littlecloud:
I am now obsessing over charts. I have an approximate birth time, so I keep playing with that. Oh and I thought you'd like to know, we have moon square pluto, and venus square pluto, I'm pluto in both.
Who you and Leo? IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 713
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 06, 2011 05:33 AM
yea. IP: Logged | |
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