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Author
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Topic: Gem Man... What does he expect?
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Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 11:46 AM
  
Ahhhhh… I don’t know what to do or think.. Im not even sure if I know what I want to do.. Im stuck in the middle here.. This is the same gem, which I reunited with after 12 years during the last Venus RX...
We had a long talk last night.. He said I don’t call him enough, he wanted to know what about him bothers me.. He was telling come on talk to me, we have to have this communication. I told him, well I feel that your not interested, and I feel that you push me away. He said Im not trying to push you away.. I told him when he pushes me away I don’t call or text him.. I said you don’t call or text me either.. You want me to do all the calling.. I said you get what you give.. I told him you rarely call me, it always has to come from me.. I said it works both ways.. He said yes it does work both ways, so when you call me then I will call you.. (geez) I said well that’s what I don’t like.
He said well I don’t want to bug you, and figure your busy, and your in one of your moods, and you will call me, when your feeling better.. (lol) He said when I get in a bad mood, Im over it pretty fast, and can get cheery right away… He said but when you get moody, you want to be left alone, so I leave you alone. I told him I get moody with him, because of things he says.. Which pushes me away, so then I take off.. He said I know, so I wait for you to call me again.. We both said, ok we will make a better effort to talk more often… I also told him, we rarely see each other once a month is just not enough for me. He said BECAUSE you DON’T call me!! He said the only time you call me, is late Saturday night, when your out.. He said I know when you go out, bc you call me then. If your home, then you wont call me.. I said hey you don’t call me either, and I call you when Im out so we can meet up and see each other. He said but you don’t say that.. You just call and say Whats up? I said well there you go.. lololol.. Im letting you know Im out and available.. I said you don’t invite me anywhere, so then I call you when Im out… He says your expecting me to say something, and I’m not going to.. I said well yes If you want to see me.. TELL me.. I want to see you.. HE said noooo… IDK why though.. He said but when I go back to work next month (he’s on disability right now) its going to be harder, because I work during the day, and he works late evenings.. He said but I will call you on my lunch.. We can talk as much as we can.. He said if only we can come to a mutual agreement… What confuses me the most, is him wanting me to do all the work… He wants me to make the effort first, then what he will?? He has an Aries Mars, yet he NEVER ever shows it towards me… Maybe its his Pisces Moon that wants me to do all the work?? HE wants me to chase him? Im not going to chase him… I need the effort to come from him.. I want that Aries Mars… lololol… Is it me???? Am I being stubborn here?
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Mystic Melody
Moderator Posts: 115
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 01:10 PM
Sounds like when you get hurt by him and become annoyed and back away, he is tentative to contact you again. He is afraid he will be rejected, and men avoid that like the plague. It also sounds like you are afraid to call him until you've had a couple drinks in you and then he thinks that you are just calling at a time you can't really talk to him when you are out because you are bored or something. Gems often call people because they need lots of stimulation, so if he called it wouldn't necessarily mean he liked someone, just might want someone to chat with while out when things get slow. He obviously wants to talk with you more, though. Just needs a little gentle encouragement to know it is ok to push forward. Then you will see the Aries Mars. Right now he is just being respectful until he gets the no-doubt-about-it green light. I think that shows self control and character. You don't have to pursue HIM, just give him the ok with absolute clarity. You say, "I really loved talking to you on the phone today!" with warmth and enthusiasm (if that's indeed what you feel).
He says, "Is it ok if I call you again?"
You say, "I would LOVE that!  I really enjoy talking with you." You both hang up and he calls again soon, confident that it will make you happy and won't annoy you.
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EverEvolvingSpirit
Moderator Posts: 599
From: A Place of Pure Love <3
Registered: Feb 2011
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posted February 15, 2011 01:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
Sounds like when you get hurt by him and become annoyed and back away, he is tentative to contact you again. He is afraid he will be rejected, and men avoid that like the plague. It also sounds like you are afraid to call him until you've had a couple drinks in you and then he thinks that you are just calling at a time you can't really talk to him when you are out because you are bored or something. Gems often call people because they need lots of stimulation, so if he called it wouldn't necessarily mean he liked someone, just might want someone to chat with while out when things get slow. He obviously wants to talk with you more, though. Just needs a little gentle encouragement to know it is ok to push forward. Then you will see the Aries Mars. Right now he is just being respectful until he gets the no-doubt-about-it green light. I think that shows self control and character. You don't have to pursue HIM, just give him the ok with absolute clarity. You say, "I really loved talking to you on the phone today!" with warmth and enthusiasm (if that's indeed what you feel).
He says, "Is it ok if I call you again?"
You say, "I would LOVE that! I really enjoy talking with you." You both hang up and he calls again soon, confident that it will make you happy and won't annoy you.
Great Advice  IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 04:09 PM
Ok.. So I made the effort and I texted him.. Good Morning stranger.. Long time no talk to HE replies back.. Im not a stranger, and we just spoke last night.. Guess you got the wrong guy.. He kept telling me I know u texted me by mistake.. OMG!! WTF Seriously.. I got mad and told him I hate the accustions, and thats another reason, why I take off and dont call.. See what happens when I make the effort... We went back and fourth.. He ended up saying hey I was just joking.. but I dont believe him...
I told him accusations are my pet peeve, reguardless of a joke or not.. he said ok.. I get it.. It wont happen again.. NOW HUSH Im at the gym... IP: Logged |
VenusDiSirius
Knowflake Posts: 797
From: Praha
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 04:15 PM
Lioness,I just love reading about ur love adventures. U sound so teen! In a lovely,non-annoying,refreshing way. Usually,-teen- means pain in head  IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 2290
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 15, 2011 04:18 PM
Do you two ever actually see each other in person?It sounds like the whole relationship is text messages! That might be fine for the Gem...a Lioness is going to eventually need some in-person wining, dining, and love, though. Leos are hot-blooded. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 04:33 PM
@ VENUS.. OMG... Im glad you do. Its so frustrating to me.. Nothing ever goes smoothly... @Lucia.. We live 5 mins apart, we do get together, but no its not alot.. because we both want it to come from the other person... You are correct is sooo not enough for me. I told him, I would need more..
But when we do see each other we dont argue, we argue about who's going to ask who to see the other person.. We went out last weekend.. I told him where I will be this Sat coming up, lets see if he shows.. I gave him enough notice.. I told him he's more than welcome to come and join me.. Confused??? lol... Thats my point.. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 6981
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 04:34 PM
Got a computer virus and scanning my other lap top, today,so have not been on much.
I am HERE by text or phone  ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 2290
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 15, 2011 05:13 PM
He IS being confusing!IP: Logged |
blugrey
Knowflake Posts: 378
From: Portland, OR USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 08:04 PM
As a fellow Gemini, I call BS on him. He sounds like a jerk to me and is playing games. Its true we like to feel secure before making a first move, but this is just silly. I do agree this is a Pisces moon thing, but either way, I think that if a guy wants to call you or text you he will. This sounds like a huge excuse to me. :\ IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 2290
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 15, 2011 08:31 PM
As I Leo, I would be offended by this guy.Bluegrey, can you explain WHY someone would play those kinds of games? Why would a man of any of the twelve signs be at all interested in texting a woman all the time, emailing, etc, while passing up the opportunity to go see her, kiss her, and touch her breasts?! I don't get it. A Scorpio/Pisces Moon was like that with me--and it's like, if he's interested, why not insist on seeing me and being around me? If he's not interested, why all the wasted hours of weird mixed-messages? What does anyone get out of a relationship with no sex, no kissing, and no actual time together in real life? I guess it's sort of a Neptune thing, where they can fantasize the relationship in their head and not mix any reality in with the fantasy? Anyway, I agree with Bluegrey. But I don't know WHY he would make that kind of excuse! Why isn't he just dying to be around you as much as possible? It's not from lack of interest, so what are his motivations? IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 08:56 PM
Gem does want to see me and if I ask him to do something he will... Only I dont want to be the person asking.. I feel it should come from.. He wants me to do all the work and asking... He wants me to come to him and tell him, when I am available, instead of asking me hey can we do something on so and so day.. His stupid little comments pushes me away.. So I dont call him, when I dont call him, he wont call me.. If I call him, then he will call me.. We have issues together.. lol We both want the other person to be the aggressor. He's really passive, with me which drives me nuts.. He does have a Pisces Moon and Cancer Mercury/Venus.. So he's alot of water. him
sun= gem on the cusp at 29Gem
moon= pisces
venus=cancer
merc= cancer
mars= aries
asc= aries
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Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 09:00 PM
OOO I forgot after that disaster of this morning, him excusing me of texting him by accident... I STILL made an effort.. When I got off of work I CALLED him no texted he answered I said May I speak to Mr. First/Last Name.. He laughed and said ok ok...
So we talked for a bit... He's actually texting me right now, he sent me pic of him.. lol IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 544
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 09:08 PM
omg lol @ all of this ...TXT him: I feel like making chicken sounds – whenever we have a conversation, because you remind me so much of a chicken. I'm jk ^^  IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 2290
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 15, 2011 09:13 PM
But for example, since you did take the initiative to call him, why are you not with him right now? Why would he send you a picture instead of, say, the two of you going out to dinner?IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 544
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 09:15 PM
Because, Lucia....Gemini Guy =  IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 2290
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 15, 2011 09:17 PM
LOL!No but LIONESS is no chicken, and since she took the initiative anyway--calling him I mean--why wasn't the call three minutes of arranging where to meet? IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 09:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:
But for example, since you did take the initiative to call him, why are you not with him right now? Why would he send you a picture instead of, say, the two of you going out to dinner?
OO I cant right now... I have kids, plus cooking dinner, and doing homework... So I wouldnt be able to.. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 09:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
omg lol @ all of this ...TXT him: I feel like making chicken sounds – whenever we have a conversation, because you remind me so much of a chicken. I'm jk ^^
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blugrey
Knowflake Posts: 378
From: Portland, OR USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 09:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:
As I Leo, I would be offended by this guy.Bluegrey, can you explain WHY someone would play those kinds of games? Why would a man of any of the twelve signs be at all interested in texting a woman all the time, emailing, etc, while passing up the opportunity to go see her, kiss her, and touch her breasts?! I don't get it. A Scorpio/Pisces Moon was like that with me--and it's like, if he's interested, why not insist on seeing me and being around me? If he's not interested, why all the wasted hours of weird mixed-messages? What does anyone get out of a relationship with no sex, no kissing, and no actual time together in real life? I guess it's sort of a Neptune thing, where they can fantasize the relationship in their head and not mix any reality in with the fantasy? Anyway, I agree with Bluegrey. But I don't know WHY he would make that kind of excuse! Why isn't he just dying to be around you as much as possible? It's not from lack of interest, so what are his motivations?
Pisces people tend to like an ideal woman but once they get to close to see the flaws, the run away because the woman doesn't fit the fantasy anymore. Pisces tend to like to have it be more fantasy than reality. Gemini - well, I know we are known for game playing, but personally I dislike it. The only reason for MYSELF that I could see is that he likes to keep her around for a various reason (could be companionship or sex or friendship or any reason), but doesn't LIKE her LIKE her. To me, any man of any zodiac sign doesn't play games with people they really like. To a certain extent we Geminis ARE very cautious about making a first move, in which this situation might fit if he was unsure of his position. I know for myself, before I am 100 percent certain of my feelings being returned, I refuse to give into my feelings or let them control me. I never make the first move. I never let them know I like them. It sucks because in many cases those people just end up moving on because I literally give no signals beyond friendship. So I thought at first that is what he could be playing at, but if he already knows how she feels and is still doing that... it's just weird. He is mostly watery though, so that's probably the difference. From my watery friends there is a lot more manipulation and a lot more under the surface. IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 2290
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 15, 2011 09:36 PM
Yeah, I think it's totally about his Pisces Moon/Cancer planets and not the Gemini Sun.I've been involved with Geminis, and they weren't like that...the behavior Lioness has described is watery. IP: Logged |
blugrey
Knowflake Posts: 378
From: Portland, OR USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 09:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:
Yeah, I think it's totally about his Pisces Moon/Cancer planets and not the Gemini Sun.I've been involved with Geminis, and they weren't like that...the behavior Lioness has described is watery.
"Testing"? Maybe? I Dunno... IP: Logged |
Steam
Knowflake Posts: 59
From: US
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 10:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:
Yeah, I think it's totally about his Pisces Moon/Cancer planets and not the Gemini Sun.I've been involved with Geminis, and they weren't like that...the behavior Lioness has described is watery.
True. Although Cancer is cardinal and they are quite capable of taking action. Think this is a communication issue as Gem's need to be fully engaged to get excited about their S.O.
Whether in person or on the phone, he needs flirtation & stimulation. I wonder if there isn't a Pluto aspect in play (him being the pluto)where he likes to have the upper hand and needs to control the relationship.
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Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1791
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 15, 2011 10:08 PM
Remember he is an ex from 12 years ago.. So we have a HUGE history... Its a long story, but we both ended up hurting the other... But he hurt me first.. Then I left him and went and got married, then I rejected him.. so to speak.. He's not using me for sex... But yes he is hanging on for what ever reason... We have been talking for off and on for 4 months now, and have been intimate only 2x.. But we have gone out a lot more than that.. We have gone out aprox 12 times in the 4 months. He wants me to be the aggressor... IDK why??????? I can only think that the clash is his Pisces moon/ my Pisces Asc which wants the other to be the aggressor. IP: Logged |
SpooL
Knowflake Posts: 174
From: Toronto/Ottawa,Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 16, 2011 12:07 AM
The way he talks kinda sounds a little bit like me, Lol espically when he said
"well I don’t want to bug you, and figure your busy, and your in one of your moods,
and you will call me, when your feeling better.."Belive it or not i've said something along those lines before and in the same context, lol. Personaly, I wish he never came back into your life theres a big risk you'll let me into your life
and you'll end up hurt again. I've read alot of your posts and replies and I think your honest and fair enought person that
shouldn't end up hurt.
Lucia23 and blugrey,
Your both right there are some rally watery gems out there that act like this, I mean one of my old Gem frends is just so needy. he has lots of water in his chart. Johny Depp and Donald Trump whould be on the other side of the spectrum. I find myself more in the the borderline,
I mean, I can be passive some times with my mars in Cancer and then other times be vary confident and sure of myself with my Capircorn Asc and Aries moon. puting aside his Pisces Moon/ Cancer placement how compatible are you with him?. If your vary compatable he could just be borred wanting stimulation and wanting to
start problems so the two of you can "work together and solve" and become closer that way. So its either that or he is to passive. Worst case scenario you can become boring and he'll leave after that point,
but of course thats extreme worst case scenario. ----------------------------------------
Capircorn Rising
Gemini Sun, 5th House
Aries Moon
Mercury in Gemini
Venus In Taurus IP: Logged | |
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