posted June 08, 2011 03:46 AM            

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addicted to the drama of the abuse cycle

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I've seen people in my environment, in my childhood and early teens who were involved in very dramatic and abusive relationships. I've seen a lot of this unfolding.. (classic Scorpio SN experiences!).
Following the examples I had - I ended up in a very unhealthy relationship for years.. throughout highschool/early 20s. There was also instability in terms of moving a *lot* -- because we ended up moving soooo many times (again classic Scorpio as opposed to Taurus which is a very stable sign and never moves).
These moves often followed on from emotional upheaval... like my parents would have a huge argument and one of them would decide that we're "moving" (not all of us.. just me and that parent).. and then we would move back in.. and back out.. and on and on.. It wasn't just this marriage. At least they got a divorce when I was 6 - but there were other problems.. with other relationships in my environment (not always my parents)! (In a sense I was very detached from my familly even though I loved them and I still do -- but I was pretty self-centered and worried about my own friends at school and my own life, so I did not feel strongly emotionally affected by the drama.. It was like watching a really insane sit-com.. It was even slightly funny at times, and now it is water under the bridge.

But it has definitely made me appreciate peace! It just gets tiring to be in such relationships.. It's even tiring to watch them unfold.

Now I feel like the most amazing thing in the world - is - peace and quiet! It feels like a Christmas present.

I came accross this quote earlier:

quote:

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Taurus yearns for peace at the expense of change and Scorpio yearns for change at the expense of peace.

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-- http://erosastrology.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=syn&action=display&thread=390

posted June 08, 2011 04:12 AM            

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all I want is sit under that tree on that mountain meadow in early summer.

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posted June 08, 2011 07:16 AM            

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Originally posted by Lonake:
So am I right in thinking if I attract nice and respectful guys then I must be a bad girl? Am I expressing their bad side?

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Maybe

posted June 08, 2011 07:17 AM            

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Originally posted by carl:
I do not think good girls are attracted to bad boys. I think dumb and immature (and/or lost and/or naive) girls are attracted to bad boys.

Most good, solid women I know like a good, interesting man with a back bone and confidence. I can understand some women confuse confidence with pricks, but they wise up and leave.

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posted June 08, 2011 07:23 AM            

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
Yrone - Do you have any planets conjunct NN or SN?

I'm the same!

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My Asc/Dsc axis is 1° off my nodal axis (asc is taurus), but no planets conjuncting

posted June 08, 2011 07:28 AM            

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I do not think good girls are attracted to bad boys. I think dumb and immature (and/or lost and/or naive) girls are attracted to bad boys.

Most good, solid women I know like a good, interesting man with a back bone and confidence. I can understand some women confuse confidence with pricks, but they wise up and leave.

Bad boys attract women who lack confidence, NOT a bad side.

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Well-said Carl, I agree.

For most guys of good guy/girl with bad guy/girl I'd look to synastry.

For extreme examples such as why a woman would write to an evil man in jail, she's not a good person, but a bad one attracted to other half types.

posted June 08, 2011 08:22 AM            

it is obviously a self esteem issue .

posted June 08, 2011 10:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by carl:
I do not think good girls are attracted to bad boys. I think dumb and immature (and/or lost and/or naive) girls are attracted to bad boys.

Most good, solid women I know like a good, interesting man with a back bone and confidence. I can understand some women confuse confidence with pricks, but they wise up and leave.

Bad boys attract women who lack confidence, NOT a bad side.

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posted June 08, 2011 11:01 AM            

it depends what you mean by bad....

posted June 08, 2011 11:33 AM            

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Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
Venus/Pluto will often attract some intense relationships and so maybe venus in scorpio in hard aspect to other planets, in fact ven/mars in aspect to the outer planets will all probably draw some sort of twist into their relationships.

it depends what you mean by bad....

I don't think you have to label such women negatively and quite frankly I've seen a few condescending answers to this question. So the general consensus is that low self esteem/confidence plays a part and then they get judged by "solid" people and called dumb and immature? Nice one!

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That's my girl. I'm having what she's having from " When Harry Met Sally"

posted June 08, 2011 12:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by carl:
I do not think good girls are attracted to bad boys. I think dumb and immature (and/or lost and/or naive) girls are attracted to bad boys.

Most good, solid women I know like a good, interesting man with a back bone and confidence. I can understand some women confuse confidence with pricks, but they wise up and leave.

Bad boys attract women who lack confidence, NOT a bad side.

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This is something along the lines of what I wanted to say. I was attracted to someone when they seemed to be more good, solid, confident... working towards something. I've never wanted a bad boy. I've done my best to avoid them, but as I said in another thread, in a way, I hit the bloody tree (i.e. don't put any focus on what you're trying to avoid).

posted June 08, 2011 12:23 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
I think that for some, it might be easier to interact with them - if they have low self-esteem themselves. It's easier than having the courage to deal with the better men, who may be more educated, or more intimidating in some other way.

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posted June 08, 2011 03:26 PM            

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Originally posted by amowls**:
There's also the perception of "bad" and good. For instance, I like alterna guys with piercings and tattoos who seem to project a more progressive attitude. They end up understanding women a lot more than sexist straight laced bros in boat shoes. Of course, there are the dudes who have tons of tattoos that end up just as stodgy as their typical khaki-ed counterparts.

Idk, my boyfriend is a sweetheart. I guess I'm the bad one >

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Amwols
You and Lonake can get together and compare notes

posted June 08, 2011 11:42 PM            

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Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
So the general consensus is that low self esteem/confidence plays a part and then they get judged by "solid" people and called dumb and immature? Nice one!

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posted June 09, 2011 01:55 AM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I think these guys can EXPRESS what the girls cannot--their bad side of course .

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Hi all,

I'm here to offer my few cents on this: Maybe it is out of curiosity as the bad boys are something different to what a good girl is like? And then as one probes and understand, you get to know someone and thus a bond is founded when you know a person more?!?!

posted June 09, 2011 07:41 AM            

I agree to a large extent with Carl [who is a very good boy I must say]: Low self esteem or immaturity might play a part in mistaking a bad guy to be a strong guy and a safe nurturer for the kids.
We have millions of years of genetic programming that creates unconscious sexual impulses for the Alpha Male.

From personal experience, I find that whether a woman wields a high end corporate Laptop or a frying pan, she goes weak in her knees when she sees a tough guy tenderly soothe a wailing baby.

posted June 09, 2011 07:49 AM            

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Originally posted by LanaofAugust:
It's a sexual thing...

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I think it's mostly that. To me anyway, because I'm already very physical. I think I'm just more attracted to people who tend to emit that physicalness too, and because "bad boys" are often impulsive and rather "emotional" (as in: they do often lack common sense, don't they?) to me that says "physical" - because those are things that come from man's primary instincts.

Being attracted to "physical" things, I think, is probably a result of my mars in 2nd

Like has been mentioned before, it's hard to imagine that a woman with healthy common sense would fall for a "bad guy". I suspect that women with a good common sense would know what to look for in a man and anticipate what certain characteristics in a man would mean in the future - they would also anticipate a man to meet her demands for partnership so she would be more careful in seeking out their partner.

A woman with bad common sense in that respect, would be more likely to not think about all that, let either her emotions or physical nature do the talking and fall for this guy before she fully well realizes what kind of "material" he's made of. She would only realize it after a few months, when she has gotten to see parts of his personality, but then it would be too late.

And I'm, of course, the latter. I always go head-first into a relationship and start to get to know a man that way, and of course, more often than not it ends up badly. It's a good thing that I know this of myself, now only to bleedin' listen to my own advice and I'd be grand!

Don't they say about 7th house Chirons that they can give good advice if they wanted to but never seem to be able to follow up on it themselves?