posted June 09, 2011 07:53 AM            

Lonake - Some women who go off with the bad boys are being honest too. A lot of so called bad boys can also be honest.

If anything the biggest bunch of hypocrites and liars usually fall into the stable category. When I was reading up a lot on psychoanalysis and the reason for mental breakdowns..the biggest factor is that the false self can no longer sustain the charade. Rollo May (and others) talk a lot about how society is not geared towards the individual (especially the artistic/creative ones) and that those who strive for stability and status are acting out a form of neurosis.

I think it was Liz Greene that said love triangles are often connected to a deep complex as are other forms of destructive relationships. These (triangles) will usually show with aspects to venus.

I'm quite happy to call myself (and anyone else) stupid if they or I do something dumb but to follow your heart (even if it's being affected by some dodgy subconscious complex) is courage in action.

I have a long term client in her 60's who was seeing a married man for 7 years...she was married too. Both had outwardly stable lives and were good societal role models. The man she was seeing suddenly left his wife of 49 yes that was 49 years at the age of 70 to be with this woman. The last 20 years of his marriage (if not longer) had been about keeping the stability.

Oddly enough, uranus had done a transit over his mercury and he left when it was conjunct his sun.....

posted June 09, 2011 07:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MertSerimer:
I have 3 opinions;
-They see bad boys as someone to get saved or cured so their healing, nurturing nature is triggered.
-They see a light deep deep inside of them and rely on them also but probably what they see is just an illusion.
-Good vs Bad, they complete each other so opposite attraction. But this attraction occurs if bad boy has something good inside or at least he is someone who is trying to fix himself and if good girl has something bad inside or at least she wants to "break bad" such as freedom....

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Ding Ding Ding My 5th house man gets the prize.You may reclaim it at the front of the store

posted June 09, 2011 08:49 PM            

The stereotype that pops into my head with this phrase is that of someone who is an irresponsible, party goer type, who typically has problems with addiction, like excessive drinking, smoking and drug use. He also is someone who is typically extremely promiscuous when he is single, and a shameless cheater when in a relationship. He has no qualms whatsoever about using and abusing women, couldn’t care less weather or not he hurts them, and is very manipulative and dishonest in this way. He may, perhaps, also be involved in some type of illegal activity, weather it’s dealing drugs or even some type of ’white collar’ crime. Some ’bad’ guys are the typical leather jacket and motorcycle type, while others actually look quite clean cut on the surface, but underneath the façade they are ***** .

Anyway, that’s the image that comes into my head when I think ‘bad’ boy…

As for being rebellious… it can be a symptom of a ‘bad’ guy or it cannot depending… like if someone enjoys stirring up trouble just because they are kind of mean spirited, or don’t care about the consequences of their actions on other people, that is one thing… But if someone has the courage to bend the rules a little, or say an unspeakable truth, in order to help others or get the truth out, then this is actually a sign of a very good guy. Having the courage to do the right and most kind thing even if it is unpopular, is an amazing virtue to have in and my book, and people who have this type of courage really impress me.

This makes me think of the negative and positive sides of the sign Aquarius… at it’s worst Aquarius is reckless chaos and anarchy, with no point that causes more harm then good… at it’s best Aquarius is the social worker of the zodiac, who genuinely wants to help people and improve the status quo, even if this means they have to stand up to authority…

Also liking to have fun and being very social are not ’bad’ in my book either, but there are many much more healthy ways to have fun then drowning yourself in intoxicants, and having an endless revolving door of one night stands… how depressing.

posted June 09, 2011 10:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lotis White:
The stereotype that pops into my head with this phrase is that of someone who is an irresponsible, party goer type, who typically has problems with addiction, like excessive drinking, smoking and drug use. He also is someone who is typically extremely promiscuous when he is single, and a shameless cheater when in a relationship. He has no qualms whatsoever about using and abusing women, couldn’t care less weather or not he hurts them, and is very manipulative and dishonest in this way. He may, perhaps, also be involved in some type of illegal activity, weather it’s dealing drugs or even some type of ’white collar’ crime. Some ’bad’ guys are the typical leather jacket and motorcycle type, while others actually look quite clean cut on the surface, but underneath the façade they are ***** .

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posted June 09, 2011 11:36 PM            

I said:

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I guess in virtue of being referred to as "boys" - I just can't imagine "boys" - as the "alpha male".
I see the "bad boy" as partially having a peter pan complex and never growing up.

They're forever more of a try-hardy little cub..

Then a real - genuine - grown-up - 100% Lion..

Just my perception though..

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What do you think? lol

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I also said:

quote:

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Re- Bad Boys - Maybe this is just my own interpretation of particular people.. But whenever I've encountered or met a guy who I would describe as a "bad boy", I almost always found him unintelligent. I'm not saying that as an insult - I actually found him mentally bellow par.. "wheel keeps turning, but the hamster's dead".

I wonder why this is ^ Maybe they neglect their brain and focus on other body parts (so the brain doesn't get nearly as much exercise or blood-supply).. Could that be it?
I always wondered why I find them bellow average IQ.. at best average.

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Disclaimer: I genuinely do not mean this as an offence upon all those guys out there who see themselves as 'bad boys'.... It's just that whenever I personally meet a man whom I would describe as a 'bad boy'... I don't find him intellectually stimulating. He doesn't seem interesting or engaging. He can't socialise/talk properly.. or tell me interesting things. I feel bored in conversation.

They tend to go straight to sex-talk... and it's like "Do you really have nothing else to say? Is that it? Is sex the only thing you discuss in general.. or is it just with women? Do you consider yourself a chauvinist?".

I'm not interested in sex-talk, if it comes before we even talked about anything else. I feel like saying "zip-it darlin'.... keep it to yourself.. puh-lease".

I'd much rather someone talk to me about interesting political developments (and their opinions), or psychological/philosophical topics or other things they are interested in.
I want to KNOW that his mind is *ticking* -- I want to KNOW that I can count on his brain.
So yeah - bad boys just seem.. a bit mentally untuned... it could be the drugs (since that's usually part of the bad boy dogma).

I also said..

quote:

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I get a strong sense that no one would bother playing the field so much - *psychologically*, trying every trick in the book to get women (or men.. in the femme fatale case) horny PRIOR to the act - unless there was a problem downstairs or a problem elsewhere.

There simply has to be some kind of problem for X to think they must use all these tricks to get laid..
Is this just my impression? It's part of what puts me off.

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posted June 09, 2011 11:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LanaofAugust:
It's a sexual thing...

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No.

So good guys stink at sex and bad boys are good?

posted June 13, 2011 04:54 AM            

Initial attraction to bad guys imo is sexual, "animal" attraction. It can easily wear out, but it is a very biological type of attraction.

My opinion.

posted June 13, 2011 09:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by carl:
No.

So good guys stink at sex and bad boys are good?

More then likely, if anything is black and white, it is the bad boy over compensating for..

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Don't be so black and white, Carl.
You are ONLY the runner up for the Eris award.You have to de throne Chaos first if you want it in your grimy hands

posted June 13, 2011 12:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Don't be so black and white, Carl.
You are ONLY the runner up for the Eris award.You have to de throne Chaos first if you want it in your grimy hands

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With a name like Chaos, having the Eris award must be natural?

(no offense, Chaos, don't know you well enough to judge, but the correlation between Eris and Chaos did strike me immediately )

And - good guys can of course be good in bed! It just seems that bad boys seem to emit more physical sexuality... and, often, aren't really that good once you've experienced them

posted June 13, 2011 12:04 PM            

This is an interesting question that has baffled many. In my opinion, the more status someone has, and the more well-liked they are, and make their life seem perfect and surround themselves with glamour and posh, then the more they are attractive to other people. Everyone wants to date someone who seems perfect and like they’ve got it together. But the thing is, this image is rarely real. Very few people have it that much together. Nobody’s perfect.

It’s not just these kind of guys who are attractive to women, though, it’s pretty much the same with popular women who seem to have really high confidence. You can’t say it’s only women who choose bad boys because guys choose bad girls, too. I think society warns men about slutty women a lot more than it warns women about slutty men, tho. So much fewer men make the mistake of taking the slutty woman seriously. We try to become friends with these people in the hopes that some of their apparently strong self-confidence will rub off on us. Women see a confident man and think, “he’s going to make me more self-confident, and he’s going to treat me well like it’s obvious he treats himself well.” Men think the same when they see a confident-seeming woman. But the thing is that these people concerned so much with status and popularity and what’s “cool” are only a facade of self-confidence. They’re not really confident at all. They feel confident only by putting others down. And inside they also put themselves down, because that is the way their thought process works. They are confident only when they feel they have made somebody else feel small in comparison. They may not be obvious about their bullying, because they want to be well-liked. So they are manipulative, waiting for you to fall for them first, and then once you’re convinced that they’re a sweetheart, they start treating you the way they want. If they treated you that way from the beginning, you would’ve never even wanted to be with them, right? So, this behavior is most obvious with relationships. If you start bullying your friend they can just walk away from you, so what happens is that they are relatively nice to each other, but not so nice to their significant others. Bad girls are just as likely to treat their significant others badly, and especially when a bad boy and a bad girl get together do you see this behavior flourish….they cheat on each other constantly, always try to make each other jealous, and play constant games.

Women are the most blind in this society because society actually encourages them to go for a guy who can defend them, and one with so much self-assertion and apparent confidence and status could surely do the job, if only they knew that these guys couldn’t love anyone the right way, much less themselves. So they may end up being defended from outside danger, but danger could be sitting right next to them with his arm around her.

posted June 13, 2011 03:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
Thanks, Ami. I think everyone realizes this at a certain level its just hard to pinpoint the exact reason

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Yes Good point RAS I like how you think in a clear and direct way!
What is your Sun,moon and ASC

posted June 13, 2011 03:24 PM            

I see it more as an aluring myth example the "Road To Eldorado".

I whould like to argue the Jerk whould have a lot more problems and isn't always as bright as the Nice Guy.

I look around me and I see a lot of Jerks and those are the guys that are unemployed in Ottawa.

The clean, educated, nice guys are the ones that actually have a meaningfull job.

In the long run the Nice Guy will prevail because assuming a women whould be intrested in having children, she whould be intrested in finding a better provider and the nice guy whould be better.

Its a known fact that females are hit with the burden of raising the family more then the males are.

I've seen females that were previously with bad guys and down the road lead to problems.

Then again thats me I'm more intrested in finishing my second major, Not alot of the bad guys I know have persued higher education.

------------------------
Capircorn Rising
Gemini Sun
Aries Moon
Mercury in Gemini
venus in Tarrus
Mars Cancer

posted June 13, 2011 03:33 PM            

I saw in astro.com that I have a lot of aspects that say i look into myself and into things a lot. Also my house positions, planet placements, and numerology all indicate that I love being philosophical lol.

posted June 13, 2011 03:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
SpooL

you are a smart nice guy.
You realize the way it really is, unlike those whiny nice guys who always complain about how girls don't pay attention to them. You know that nice guys DO win in the end

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True
If you have any smarts you want your baby with a good man!

posted June 13, 2011 03:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
Well, my sun moon and asc aren't the reason for that i dont think. Thanks btw

I saw in astro.com that I have a lot of aspects that say i look into myself and into things a lot. Also my house positions, planet placements, and numerology all indicate that I love being philosophical lol.

But to answer ur question lol Sun Cancer, Moon leo, rising libra

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Where are your Mars and Venus while we are at it

posted June 13, 2011 03:52 PM            

We are programmed to seek security in our relationships. But in love affairs, we also seek a certain amount of uncertainty (read danger), because of the adrenaline it gives us. It's what makes us fall in love and become sexually attracted to someone.

posted June 13, 2011 03:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by maira:
I think it all comes down to balance. I was reading recently a book called "Erotic Intelligence", something like that, and the author - a woman - explained why the passion seems to subside in long term couples. It seems to bode well with the subject, because the answer was the loss of uncertainty.

We are programmed to seek security in our relationships. But in love affairs, we also seek a certain amount of uncertainty (read danger), because of the adrenaline it gives us. It's what makes us fall in love and become sexually attracted to someone.

I think that the good girl/guy and the bad ones are polarities and that one must strive for equilibrium. Of course, that may be just my Libra ascendant talking
And you were right Ami, I also believe we always seek what's missing - in this case, excitement and passion.

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Well Maira
I was thinking MORE than excitement and passion.The bad boy can DO what we are afraid to do if we were taught to be "nice" girls.
They have a freedom like a wild stallion.
This was my attraction more than anything.
My sense of unworthiness/shame made me seek approval all the time to mitigate it.

It made me feed off other people's liking of me.
The bad boy runs wild.
I want to run wild but in a good way