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Author
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Topic: Why Are Good Girls Attracted to Bad Guys?
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 11662
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 07, 2011 09:48 PM
  
I think these guys can EXPRESS what the girls cannot--their bad side of course .
Where do you look to find the answers?
Pluto,Nessus and Deja .
Where else  ------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
You must lose your life for My sake in order to find it .
Jesus
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
bethcarliseh
Knowflake Posts: 231
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted June 07, 2011 09:51 PM
oh god. this question. haha. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1068
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 07, 2011 10:05 PM
lol.. umAnyone who sticks to white will attract black.. and vice versa. If you're just you -- if you're grey.. then you attract grey.. but some people find grey boring.. so I mean, you might not even want to be grey anyhow...
You might like yellow or some other more passionate colour, red? orange?... But you know the gist of what i'm trying to colour here. Astrologically - it's all about extremes.. so people who are inclined to be in one extreme will attract the other.
I would chuck it down to oppositions..
I could see a Deja-Nessus opposition for instance... or Persephone-Pluto opposition... or Venus-Mars... or Venus-Pluto... or Moon-Pluto.
In any case the girl in question might associate with one side - and project the other. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 11662
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 07, 2011 10:13 PM
I should go under the bed,check every now and then for the Rapture and call it a day  ------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
You must lose your life for My sake in order to find it .
Jesus
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Aya_and_baby
Knowflake Posts: 798
From: Space (and sometimes Antwerp)
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 07, 2011 10:15 PM
Well, you know my situation, Ami (although I can't help feeling that the woman this guy is supposed to be with, is a keeper... I truly hope for his sake that they are because I don't think that he can deal with any more breakups than I can at this point, I just don't sense they are going to be happy together... ) So we've probably established that I have a thing for men who are going to end up hurting me.
I have deja conjunct pluto in Scorpio in 11 and I honestly don't remember where my nessus is. I believe it's in Cancer in 8th house? Or either in Leo, but I seem to remember it's in eight house.
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 11662
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 07, 2011 10:30 PM
Deja conjunct Pluto is GREAT Aya
It means you can stand up for yourself
Your trouble must be somewhere else lol------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
You must lose your life for My sake in order to find it .
Jesus
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4194
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 07, 2011 10:37 PM
So am I right in thinking if I attract nice and respectful guys then I must be a bad girl? Am I expressing their bad side?IP: Logged |
carl
Knowflake Posts: 585
From: China
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 07, 2011 10:51 PM
I do not think good girls are attracted to bad boys. I think dumb and immature (and/or lost and/or naive) girls are attracted to bad boys.Most good, solid women I know like a good, interesting man with a back bone and confidence. I can understand some women confuse confidence with pricks, but they wise up and leave. Bad boys attract women who lack confidence, NOT a bad side. IP: Logged |
bethcarliseh
Knowflake Posts: 231
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted June 07, 2011 10:58 PM
The rules are kind of changing. In fact, I see good girls with ugly nerdy guys. I think ugly, nerdy and passive is the new in. At least in North America. Women spend all day watching commercials and movies where the guy is a door mat and that is what the girls look for. Sexually, women still prefer to be dominated.IP: Logged |
Aya_and_baby
Knowflake Posts: 798
From: Space (and sometimes Antwerp)
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 07, 2011 11:11 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Deja conjunct Pluto is GREAT Aya
It means you can stand up for yourself
Your trouble must be somewhere else lol
At the moment I wish. I knew it was going to come eventually but I'm still hurting so badly. So many questions and I know with deja conjunct pluto I don't let myself be played around with. But I do keep wondering why now? Why him? Why did I let myself get fooled again? Hell, I didn't even have so many questions with my baby's dad... Why this guy? Anyway, I'm probably digressing. I did have my fair share of players and abusers, so I do seem to go for bad guys every time. Maybe I'll be over it tomorrow, once I explain to him that I'm insulted that I had to hear it through facebook instead of through him like he promised. Maybe it's just an ego trip. Maybe it is just residu "affection" from the one that got away and very likely the father of my first child (if it had ever been born) that I needed to get rid of... Anyway, I might know tomorrow and maybe I'll let that deja conj pluto come true. It just doesn't feel like it at all tonight... Sorry for going on about this, it has shocked me. ------------------
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bethcarliseh
Knowflake Posts: 231
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted June 07, 2011 11:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aya_and_baby:
At the moment I wish. I knew it was going to come eventually but I'm still hurting so badly. So many questions and I know with deja conjunct pluto I don't let myself be played around with. But I do keep wondering why now? Why him? Why did I let myself get fooled again? Hell, I didn't even have so many questions with my baby's dad... Why this guy? Anyway, I'm probably digressing. I did have my fair share of players and abusers, so I do seem to go for bad guys every time.Maybe I'll be over it tomorrow, once I explain to him that I'm insulted that I had to hear it through facebook instead of through him like he promised. Maybe it's just an ego trip. Maybe it is just residu "affection" from the one that got away and very likely the father of my first child (if it had ever been born) that I needed to get rid of... Anyway, I might know tomorrow and maybe I'll let that deja conj pluto come true. It just doesn't feel like it at all tonight... Sorry for going on about this, it has shocked me.
Aya because you "like" it. When I say that you like it, I also mean that you, somehow, enjoy the abuse because it takes you through the full stratosphere of emotions. It is a game. You are one of millions upon millions of women who play the "why do I keep falling for the abuse" game. I mean, I did too until I understood that I was getting a thrill from it. It becomes your own drama movie. Who wants to be with the boring normal guy who does whatever you say? There is no excitement there. IP: Logged |
Aya_and_baby
Knowflake Posts: 798
From: Space (and sometimes Antwerp)
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 07, 2011 11:24 PM
I actually fell for this guy because he allowed me to. He gave me subtle, unconscious hints while he was everything I ever wanted and needed in a man.Perhaps I should raise my demands because obviously they're not strict enough. ------------------
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bethcarliseh
Knowflake Posts: 231
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted June 07, 2011 11:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aya_and_baby:
I actually fell for this guy because he allowed me to. He gave me subtle, unconscious hints while he was everything I ever wanted and needed in a man.Perhaps I should raise my demands because obviously they're not strict enough.
What is everything that you could want and need in a man? IP: Logged |
vertiver
Knowflake Posts: 1410
From: Firey Jupiter
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 07, 2011 11:30 PM
I go for losers, meaning unmotivated musicians who are perfectly fine with working minimum wage their entire life, is that considered a bad guy?  IP: Logged |
bethcarliseh
Knowflake Posts: 231
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted June 07, 2011 11:35 PM
I mean, if that's what you like. Go for it. I prefer my men to be sucessful. IP: Logged |
blugrey
Knowflake Posts: 701
From: Portland, OR USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted June 07, 2011 11:44 PM
yeah I think it's an addiction to drama or not feeling worthy of love or intimacy problems. IP: Logged |
carl
Knowflake Posts: 585
From: China
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 07, 2011 11:46 PM
No one wants to remark on my women mistake bad boy for confidence.Most bad boys I know actually lack confidence deep down inside but the bad gives off an air of false confidence. Bad boys are also, often soo childish and even predictable. I like to be nice with rare occasions of surprise bad streaks, that is superior like, naturally. PDA for instance in inappropriate laces. If a girl is attracted to "bad" I do not think that makes her very good herself. IP: Logged |
blugrey
Knowflake Posts: 701
From: Portland, OR USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted June 07, 2011 11:57 PM
quote:
Originally posted by carl:
Most bad boys I know actually lack confidence deep down inside but the bad gives off an air of false confidence.
This is exactly what turns me off about the whole image of a bad boy.  Very true. But I still agree with my POV because I think that often those men who project "confidence" treat their women like crap - aka they make the woman feel like they are god - so basically, the woman has no self-respect if she doesn't see through this eventually.
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Lonake
Moderator Posts: 4194
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 08, 2011 12:09 AM
I don't mistake the bad boys for confident men. I attract nice, respectful men so I don't have a problem with this, and in my estimation I'm a nice person, so it's not all of them.I'll agree with the young dumb ones loving the drama since that's the focus of their life. But then I've known some older dumb ones who are like that, too.
Generally, solid people are attracted to other solid people, and dysfunctional people like other dysfunctional folks. The typical good girl is usually repressed and in her spare time toys with rape fantasies cos she's uncomfortable with owning her sexual power. IP: Logged |
Lotis White
Knowflake Posts: 88
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 08, 2011 12:55 AM
I agree with you Carl, I think a lot of women do mistake a being ‘bad’ for confidence… either that or they are addicted to the drama of the abuse cycle, or they see the ‘bad’ guy as someone to be ‘tamed’ and take it as a challenge to make him fall for them… almost never works.As it happens, I’m a Capricorn with a Venus Saturn trine and am perhaps the quintessential good girl type. I have always had a conservative attitude towards love and marriage and prefer to play it safe for the most part… I am not attracted to ‘bad’ guys (meaning players, abusers, guys who sleep around too much, guys involved in crime, guys who are dishonest or manipulative, guys who have no morels or honor, guys who use women to boost their self esteem, guys who are irresponsible, guys who have no ambition, guys who have problems with addiction, and guys who are just plain ruthless and mean) … What I do like are strong, confident, dynamic guys, who know what they want in life and are able to go after it with courage, are exciting and fun to be with, and have a wicked sense of humor… I’m often attracted to outgoing types who have a lot of fire or air in their charts. This is what attracts me at first…but what keeps me interested is the ability to be trustworthy, to be honest in his dealings, and a genuine sweet good heart. I can not stand mind games. To me simple things like kindness, consideration, loyalty and honesty have to be part of the deal or I don’t wanna play. I want a guy that’s going to treat me with respect, and make me feel special and loved…it may sound cheesy but I want to be cherished like a princess, and for him to make me feel like I’m the girl of his dreams…. I like friendly, warmhearted guys who are good to the people around them, and a have a playful streak, and are also very loyal and honorable… I like confidence and caring.. The unattainable guy that’s gonna treat me like crap is just too much for my poor little heart to deal with. Unfortunately some women out there do mistake a callous attitude for strength and think that it makes him sexy or fascinating of some crap like that. A kind of reverse to this is also true. Some also seem to think that that the only way that they can have a ‘good’ guy is if they settle for some dweeb with no confidence. But being afraid to stick up for yourself is not the same thing as being ‘nice’--Not that some dweebs don’t eventually mature into wonderful people after some time. I guess the point I’m trying to make is that you shouldn’t have to settle for someone you don’t really want, or respect, just so you can be with a ‘good’ guy. There is such a thing as a sexy confident guy with a good heart, who will treat you with respect, make you laugh, interest you, sweep you off your feet, want you to know exactly where you stand with him, and want to make you feel special and loved… I also think that there is a difference between someone who went through a wild phase when they were younger, and someone who is chronically, hopelessly ‘bad’, stuck in a cycle of bad, unhealthy physical and physiological habits. The difference is that the first type grows out of it after a couple of years, and gets back on track… the second type is still acting like a fool up into his thirties, or in some cases even his forties and fifties… it’s actually kind of a sad thing to behold…
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Aya_and_baby
Knowflake Posts: 798
From: Space (and sometimes Antwerp)
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 08, 2011 01:14 AM
quote:
Originally posted by bethcarliseh:
What is everything that you could want and need in a man?
Intelligence, a decent personality (but apparently I was wrong about that because he didn't even have the nerve to tell me he met someone else and still comes up with excuses that he didn't know. In my dictionary "I didn't know" means "I wasn't really interested but now it's here I might as well go for it" and I starting to think now his family put him up to it. It's just such a silly coincidence that he happened to meet his sister's friend after so many years, just after his family found out he started smoking weed again. But maybe I'm exaggerating.), humor, good in bed, intellectual, conversational, social... ------------------
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rajji
Moderator Posts: 828
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted June 08, 2011 01:23 AM
I always say this "bad guys go after good gals and bad gals go after good guys!"
Probably coz one's good reputation is not supposed to last long.
I dont know but thats how I feel.
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Doreen
Knowflake Posts: 63
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted June 08, 2011 03:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by carl:
I do not think good girls are attracted to bad boys. I think dumb and immature (and/or lost and/or naive) girls are attracted to bad boys.Most good, solid women I know like a good, interesting man with a back bone and confidence. I can understand some women confuse confidence with pricks, but they wise up and leave. Bad boys attract women who lack confidence, NOT a bad side.
Stands up and applauds well said IP: Logged |
Aya_and_baby
Knowflake Posts: 798
From: Space (and sometimes Antwerp)
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 08, 2011 03:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by carl:
I do not think good girls are attracted to bad boys. I think dumb and immature (and/or lost and/or naive) girls are attracted to bad boys.
I'm opting for "lost". I'm sure that one isn't taken.
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Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 1068
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 08, 2011 03:31 AM
quote:
bad boys I know actually lack confidence deep down inside but the bad gives off an air of false confidence. Bad boys are also, often soo childish and even predictable.
Carl - You took the words right out my mouth. I've said this exactly some time ago - in a different thread. quote:
Solid people are attracted to other solid people and dysfunctional people like other dysfunctional folks.
quote:
The typical good girl is usually repressed and in her spare time toys with rape fantasies cos she's uncomfortable with owning her sexual power.
I agree, Lonake! IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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