posted August 06, 2011 12:55 PM            

And ur composite with the sag guy is amazing! congrats!

You prbably will like him. I've never not liked a guy i had a tight sun-mercury-venus stellium with where we had sun-conjunct venus. Unless we had comp. saturn conjunct, opposing, or square the stellium, then i didnt like them. I actially think saturn, if anything is an indicator of unrequited love...not venus square pluto like most ppl say.

posted August 06, 2011 02:39 PM            

Yes, I meet people online, at least for some time now. I was getting a little desperate with my love life so I joined a few dating sites. You're right, I liked those guys as people, but I wasn't all that attracted to them and each of them had something that turned me off. I just couldn't see myself with any of them. The Sag is definitely different, but I'm still in doubt.
Yeah, I like our composite too, it's kind of amazing with all those Saturn and Pluto trines/sextiles. It adds some passion, but also durability to it.

But now, you see, I worry that I'm gonna meet him during retro Mercury and that his Nessus is exactly on my DC (and widishly squares my Dejanira ). Yeah, I probably should stop looking for what could go wrong and just enjoy myself, but I can't.

Thank you for the sites, I will surely take a look. I know grupovenus, I use it from time to time.

I'm not particularly attracted to square signs. I mean, it really doesn't matter what sun sign he has, as long as the feeling is there. I dated mostly Fire and Air signs, but the most intense was with a Bull.

quote:

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Oh and ur probaby only falling for guys who are taken, because those are the guys who do have an attractive personality.....but that's why they're taken.

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*previously Izo*

posted August 06, 2011 11:47 PM            

I think that's the problem though. I've tried meeting three guys online and it failed miserably, lol. They looked so cute in their profile pic and everything. That's the thing, the way someone types online doesnt even tell you if you might like them as a friend, right? It's weird. I remember one of the guys, an aquarius, and he was soo annoying in person even though we had such great chemistry online. The other guy looked super hot in his pics...and was soo ugly in person. The other guy, which I met recently, we actually stayed friends somewhat. But never a hint of attraction. And though we didn't have much chemistry even as friends, we did at least get along quite well, which was a first cuz the oher guy I found annoying, too. I learned that it's just better to meet people in person rather than to invest so much time in a person chatting with them, raising your hopes up, only to meet them and it'll be a total waste.

posted August 07, 2011 02:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
Aw . You're quite welcome. Tehe.

I think that's the problem though. I've tried meeting three guys online and it failed miserably, lol. They looked so cute in their profile pic and everything. That's the thing, the way someone types online doesnt even tell you if you might like them as a friend, right? It's weird. I remember one of the guys, an aquarius, and he was soo annoying in person even though we had such great chemistry online. The other guy looked super hot in his pics...and was soo ugly in person. The other guy, which I met recently, we actually stayed friends somewhat. But never a hint of attraction. And though we didn't have much chemistry even as friends, we did at least get along quite well, which was a first cuz the oher guy I found annoying, too. I learned that it's just better to meet people in person rather than to invest so much time in a person chatting with them, raising your hopes up, only to meet them and it'll be a total waste.

It's better to just join a club, go to a bar, volunteer, hang out at starbucks, sit down at a cafe at the mall, etc

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Well, to be honest, I feel more comfortable meeting them online. I can keep myself at distance if I don't like them (there's always the ignore button available), which is not something easily done in reality (I always worry not to offend anyone's feelings). I am quite picky in my virtual life, too. I received hundreds of messages from guys since I joined those sites, but I only chatted with 6-7 of them, and I met 4 in real life. It's true, online personality doesn't always match the real one, which is why I don't want to jump to conclusions before meeting them. I managed to stay cool and collected until the Sag came along. I've had some pretty ok dates, I can't really complain, most of them were fun to be with, but I just couldn't see us together, couldn't see myself with any of them.
Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of free time to meet people in real life, because I have a very busy job (surgeon), which takes a lot of time and energy, so I prefer it this way for now. But the ones that have potential, yeah, I definitely make time to meet them in person, I don't intend to fall in love with a virtual man, I want a real one.

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*previously Izo*

posted August 07, 2011 03:07 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Benedict Moon*:
I'd go ahead and meet the Sag guy, that's if you have met people from online before and feel safe doing so. The reason I say this is because I feel you have nothing to lose. Because if it doesn't work out, atleast you can say it wasn't because of a missed opportunity. I've never tried the online dating thing, otherwise, so I cannot not judge to say if its the right way to do things or not.

And yes, apparently we have more placements in common! Relating to others is complicated, and 'finders, keepers' is even worse. Sometimes it just seems like no one matches the ideal you have in your head. I wondered if that's just part of being an Air Venus or the element of the unaspectedness itself? Or the Moon/Neptune? Then there's also the issue with intensity. I've realized I'm just way too much for most guys to deal with.

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posted August 07, 2011 03:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
I have so much to say to you (about the syn) and so little time!

Sorry - I will come back. But in a nutshell, I'm sure he likes you. He *is* reliable. He *would* put his arms around you in a situation like the one in the dream. You also seem to 'like' him.... but there can be a tug of war due to the Mars/Pluto. Maybe you feel like he is being pushy. Don't overreact to this. Try to look on the bright side - like what is it about him that you appreciate? - because there are a lot of positive things in your synastry.

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posted August 07, 2011 03:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bethcarliseh:
With the internet, now you can gravitate towards a lot of your past life relationships from all over the world. People wonder why they connect with others from other countries and why they both get along so well or have some sort of bond. It is crazy eh.

I also think that you take yourself too seriously Hera. You think that you are the big deal right? Like, you are entitled, to the perfect man? Like all of those children stories where the maid is taken by the prince and they live happily ever after. You think those movies were made specifically for you. I think thats cool. Why would you want to live life thinking any other way? I am with you. But if you want to be happier, you will come down a few notches. The world doesn't owe us anything. I don't think...

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Dear Beth,

posted August 07, 2011 04:11 AM            

I just don't want to end up with an unemployed drunk like my father, that I'm gonna have to carry on my back for the rest of my life, like my mom did him. I don't want to feel ashamed to be seen with him. I want to be proud to be with him.

posted August 07, 2011 04:51 AM            

Beths post rubbed me up the wrong way and it ain't my thread but then I'm a leo with an aries moon and god help anyone that tells me to come down a few notches.

No the world doesn't owe us anything but for far too long women (and men) have lowered their own personal standards over the type of person they want to be with. They take the one with the money, the one with the pretty face or the one who gives the talk but rarely do they end up with the one they really want.

Fairytales are never straight forward and the ones involving a happy ending are usually fraught with danger along the way. If we are deluded into thinking we get a prince then we also have to be deluded into thinking that it takes a mythic effort or slaying a dragon or two to make it happen.

Myth gives us a way to understand the difficulties that life presents but I can't think of any that are without a witch, a demon, a dragon, a wolf or some other monster.

I don't get why people always say "a fairytale romance"...it's just bull saying that has no bearing on reality. It's people not thinking for themselves because if they were, they'd make a comment on the mythic journey the people had shared to get their "fairytale" ending.

That comment on going down a few notches has really got to me. I've never heard a woman use that. My sisters soon to be ex husband said it to her repeatedly whilst she was studying for her degree "oh she needs to sort her head out, she's getting way above her station and needs to get down a few notches" she's divorcing him now...thankfully. She graduated top of her class with a first class honours degree. Got offered a teaching post at the uni.

My ex said it to me "I think you need to come down a peg or two you're not JK Rowling" (I don't even write stories btw) as I sat there trying to work.

Come down a notch? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

posted August 07, 2011 06:49 AM            

I also think that you take yourself too seriously Hera.

You think that you are the big deal right?

Like all of those children stories where the maid is taken by the prince and they live happily ever after

You think those movies were made specifically for you.

But if you want to be happier,

you will come down a few notches

All of the above especially the last 2 lines reeks of oppression.

I know what provokes me and I was internally provoked. Not upset but provoked. And I don't agree with what you said apart from the world doesn't owe us anything.

No one has any idea of what will make Hera happy because her internal image of "the right man" is very personal to her. She wasn't coming across as being deluded in her expectations and there was no reason to assume that she would have to "lower" her ideals.

I reacted to your post before I read the following posts which included Hera's response to you. It wasn't just me who had a reaction.

Some of us have a big challenge in balancing our inner needs with an external life. The masses would dictate that we are just supposed to shut up, put up and make do...because it's less hassle.

posted August 07, 2011 06:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bethcarliseh:
I didn't mean to upset you. I mean, what I wrote wasn't even to you. I don't understand.

I mean, even though it wasn't to you, you are basically agreeing with what I was saying.

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Neither of us is agreeing with what you said, Beth. But I think you are right saying that what you wrote wasn't really adressed to dysfunctionalmystic, or myself, for that matter. It was adressed to yourself. You said in your first post on this thread that you're like me. Allow me to disagree with that and say, maybe, you related to the person I'm trying to change, to leave behind. Now, you can talk to yourself anyway you'd like, but please don't come into my thread and project your unsolved issues on me, I have plenty of my own.
If you continue with this attitude, I'm going to ask you, respectfully, to leave my thread. I do not want stirred trouble in my topics on LL, even though I come here rarely. Lindaland has a Moon-Neptune conjunction in its chart, like me, and so does the chart for the moment I first joined back in 2006. So I'd like to do my best to keep this warm positive attitude for my short, sporadic stays in here.

If you want to discuss your own issues on the subject, I'd be happy to listen and help, if I can. But please don't project your judgements and frustrations on me. They're not welcome.

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*previously Izo*

posted August 07, 2011 07:20 AM            

I've got no idea if your fears about the sag are necessary or not.

But

Women who runs with the wolves - Clarissa Pinkola Estes, she discusses the dark man stuff that appears in dreams and says its connected to going through an initiation into the wild woman. It's a sign of developing autonomy as a woman.

It's a brilliant book written by a Jungian analyst who uses cultural myths to delve into the psyche. I was told about this book a few years ago by my then psychotherapist and it's given me a huge amount of understanding.

posted August 07, 2011 07:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
Hahaha! Yeah. Well, online dating *can* be fun, if you don't take it too seriously and don't get your hopes raised too high before meeting the guy in person. I've enjoyed myself, even though nothing came out of it and I met some pretty interesting people. It was fun, from an experimental view too.
I'm gonna meet the Sag, it's gonna be a public place, so I feel safe. Besides, I almost always have surgical blades in my bag. Yes, it's always best to know you like or dislike a person, than to wonder. At least, to my Mercury-Pluto opposition. The Moon-neptune in me still likes to daydream of the perfect man, but I usually keep that under strict control.
I feel the same way about the intensity thing. I feel most men couldn't handle me, that they're just not men enough... It sounds harsh, but I guess I come from a household with a weak father. And I wouldn't want anyone resembling him even remotely. Must be Aries Mars talking now. I'm not saying I want a cave man who will silence me at every word, but I need a man who can handle me when I try to go crazy on him. And so far, Sag passed the test. He's some sort of a combination between a civilized Cro Magnon with 2 college degrees (only one I met with more than one, which my Saturn in the 9th adores about him because I also have 2) and a mystic romantic... But I'll see on Wednesday how all that plays out.

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Yes, I think that would be the appropriate attitude to take with Online Dating, when you consider how many people fake alot. But this guy seems genuine!

And LOL, I have a Merc/Pluto trine! Maybe that's why I never like being on the fence about things/people/etc and I can't stand not knowing where I stand with others

And yeah, the common misconception is that the Aries Mars female wants a cave-man and that ain't true for me either. I think we mainly just want someone with a backbone. Though I think most people should aim for that, male or female. Just my opinion.

And he has two degrees? Looks like you two might have a lot to talk about! Might keep things from going awkward...ah, that's just my Gemini Venus talking. For someone who's quiet most of the time, I definitely talk alot when first meeting someone because in my head "silence" equals awkwardness and "no good". Its a weird paradox.

And OMG, off topic: but you work in the OR, right? I did a Clinical Rotation there and LOVED IT. If I could never be a Peds Nurse again then I would definitely be an OR Nurse. Its so cool, the things you get to see, and it seems an easygoing crowd to work with despite the not-so-easygoing job they have to do.

posted August 07, 2011 07:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
That comment on going down a few notches has really got to me. I've never heard a woman use that. My sisters soon to be ex husband said it to her repeatedly whilst she was studying for her degree "oh she needs to sort her head out, she's getting way above her station and needs to get down a few notches" she's divorcing him now...thankfully. She graduated top of her class with a first class honours degree. Got offered a teaching post at the uni.

My ex said it to me "I think you need to come down a peg or two you're not JK Rowling" (I don't even write stories btw) as I sat there trying to work.

Come down a notch? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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Yeah, I heard that one all my life, too. My ex said it to me, as well. Not the Bull, an Aqua, surprisingly. He said I shouldn't bother my pretty little head with surgery, I should take on something lighter, and that I probably wouldn't catch a position in plastics anyway, because only the top few get it. Well, I already said what I do for a living so you know how that ended for me. He failed his residency exam the first time and now he settled for general surgery (we both wanted plastics). The sad part is that I believed him. I didn't think I could do it, I doubted myself until the very last moment. There are still a few times, when I'm in the OR, that I doubt I'm good enough for this, that my decisions are the right ones, that maybe he was right and I took on more than I was capable of.

These are toxic people who try to get you to be less than what you deserve, than what your true potential really is. Many "thumbsup" for your sister and yourself for not putting up with those lame men's attitudes.

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*previously Izo*

posted August 07, 2011 07:58 AM            

This thread is a side of you thinking that you aren't good enough. That you must "come down a notch" and settle for less. You are asking us, "should I submit and give some of my power to a man, who will just detain me".

posted August 07, 2011 08:02 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
Hera - I nearly forgot, the reason I came back to the thread was to let you know about the dark man dream stuff you mentioned on page one.

I've got no idea if your fears about the sag are necessary or not.

But

Women who runs with the wolves - Clarissa Pinkola Estes, she discusses the dark man stuff that appears in dreams and says its connected to going through an initiation into the wild woman. It's a sign of developing autonomy as a woman.

It's a brilliant book written by a Jungian analyst who uses cultural myths to delve into the psyche. I was told about this book a few years ago by my then psychotherapist and it's given me a huge amount of understanding.

She has other work available but that book is invaluable if you're into working on your own issues.

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Wow!!!! Thank you for sharing this with me. It sounds really amazing and I think I might be going through that! I have denied the woman inside for so long, I can't even begin to tell you what efforts I made to supress that, to become invisible and ugly and unappealing to any man. As some sort of punishment for making my father like me non-paternally.
But all this must come to an end, I feel I am ready. I'm still scared, but I'm willing to make this step at last.
Thank you, your insights have been truly amazing!

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*previously Izo*