posted July 31, 2011 12:42 PM            

To make a long story short, I've been single for 3 years now, since the break-up with *teh Bull*. The one I thought was IT. Since then I went through a phase in which I simply didn't want to date anymore, but I don't feel that way anymore. I'd like to find someone to start a family with... The problem is that I cannot, for the life of me, like anybody of the ones who like me and would like to be with me. No... I like unavailable ones, last one I liked is married with a child on the way. No, I didn't go there, I stopped myself when I found that out. Or jerks... who just take off without a word or leave me hanging.

But to be completely honest, I don't think I truly liked/loved anyone. I'm always like looking at them asking why the hell am I with this guy, do I even like him???

Oh, and yes... I know it's because of my daddy issues. I'm doing psychotherapy for that and strange Pandora's boxes have been open... like the fact that I was terrified of the idea that my dad might like me... differently. In a non-parent-child sort of way. No idea where that came from, I must have blocked those memories somehow.

But I ask of you... what in the sky could possibly cause this? My unaspected Venus? I can't possibly put all the blame on her. My Mars opposite Saturn? And how, please, how can I get myself to like/be attracted to someone nice, decent, who treats me respectfully and has all the qualities that I want in a man? I was on a date once with someone like that... It was actually our 3rd date... he brought me flowers. And at the end of it he leaned over to kiss me. And I panicked. I let him kiss me on the cheek and left there as if suffering from total body burns. I threw his flowers in the closest garbage can and got into an angry sort of cry.

Now there's this guy... A Sagittarian. I'm Aries, so it's always a nice fit. I don't know his chart, but he is amazing as a person, as a human being. I apreciate and respect him a lot. Thing is... he didn't show me his picture until today. Got me to fall in love with his person... but now... I don't think I like him. And it's so frustrating!!!!! I feel like snapping myself on my face... Because I do this all the time, I don't understand why and I am desperate for this to stop. Since the second I sense a dude might like me, I start looking for faults. And find them every single time.
But thing is... I don't want to behave like this. It drives me insane that I do this. I want to be able to allow myself to love someone just so, not because, not in spite of... Just so.
How can I do this, please???

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*previously Izo*

posted July 31, 2011 01:37 PM            

There could be something in your ideals about expecting others to instinctively know how you feel. there's something in there that says you are needing the focus more on the gem north node for your 5th house matters. You need more communication but of a verbal variety rather than the telepathic. Your moon neptune will give u gifts but you'll run into problems if you rely on them for your love life.

the looking for faults could again come down to them failing your ideal of a moon/nep connection. Mars in aries is hardly likely to surrender to anyone without a fight and you have the sun/merc there too. the moon/nep may be in fire but it behaves like water. There could be a bit of conflict between the men you attract and how you'd like them to be with you. A part of u does need a very strong alpha male type but the moon/nep needs a pisces lol.

You've got problems between doing what you want to do and conforming to the societal expectations ( mars opp sat/pl) issues of control are likely but especially around your beliefs systems or your overall perspective on life. I would imagine you really don't like being told what to think.

Your "problem" may simply be having an excess of fire rather than any aspect in your chart.

You're probably just honest with yourself, many people can settle down because they mislead themselves into thinking "it'll last forever" maybe you can't let yourself do that?

All I know, is that if you found someone you wanted to be with - you would love them. Maybe you are "fussy" or have high ideals but then maybe you just ain't found anyone mythic enough?

You have venus in taurus on your ic, you can create a stable and loving home for yourself and doing so will give you a sense of stability and longevity, but relationships?..... all that fire! Fire needs a mythic journey.

<< leo sun/mer(9th), aries moon(5th), sag nep(1st). Longest I've managed is 5 years.

posted July 31, 2011 01:41 PM            

I still like these books though so I'll leave them.
http://www.amazon.com/True-Love-Practice-Awakening-Heart/dp/159 0304047/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1312131950&sr=8-2
http://www.amazon.com/Places-That-Scare-You-Fearlessnes s/dp/1590302656/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312132706&sr=1-1
http://www.amazon.com/Way-Love-Meditations-Anthony-C lassics/dp/038524939X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312132758&sr=1-1
http://www.amazon.com/General-Theory-Thomas-Lannon-Richard/dp/0375709223/ref=pd_sim_b_ 14

posted July 31, 2011 04:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
What is the dotted blue line please anyone?
Thanks so much
I don't see any quincunx in that chart.They are the green lines

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Ami

Dotted lines are showing semi-square and sesquiquadrate aspects.

posted July 31, 2011 04:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Deluded:
Ami

Dotted lines are showing semi-square and sesquiquadrate aspects.

Semi-square is half of a square
Sesquiquadrate is square & semi-square

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posted July 31, 2011 09:03 PM            

I think people rarely fall deeply in love in a way that stands the test of time.

I am in love now.. but I know it is the only time in my life I have felt this way and maybe the only time I will ever feel this intensely.

Did you have any of the following - with the Sag guy? (close in orb)

Sun/Pluto
Sun/Saturn

Moon/Saturn
Moon/Pluto
Moon/Mars

Mercury/Mercury
Mercury/Neptune

Venus/Neptune
Venus/Pluto
Venus/Mars
Venus/Saturn

Mars/Pluto
Mars/Neptune

posted August 05, 2011 11:30 AM            

Dysfunctionalmystic,

You are right about my Moon-Neptune. In fact, I was very much like that until I broke up with the Bull (which happened when Pluto was on that Moon and Neptune conjunction). I was highly idealistic, seeing love from a very spiritual, out of body sort of perspective and I did, indeed, expect people to know what I want and how I feel. I am not that way anymore. Post Bull I became a lot more realistic and definitely more direct and verbal in expressing what I want.

You were very spot on about this:

quote:

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the looking for faults could again come down to them failing your ideal of a moon/nep connection. Mars in aries is hardly likely to surrender to anyone without a fight and you have the sun/merc there too. the moon/nep may be in fire but it behaves like water. There could be a bit of conflict between the men you attract and how you'd like them to be with you. A part of u does need a very strong alpha male type but the moon/nep needs a pisces lol.

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My excess fire... Hmmm... I never truly related to that. Or being an Aries (aside from having a short, hot temper). Yes, all that fire does help me be honest with myself. I can look myself in my inner eye and stare at the darkness, I am well aware of my issues. I just don't always make sense of them.

quote:

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All I know, is that if you found someone you wanted to be with - you would love them. Maybe you are "fussy" or have high ideals but then maybe you just ain't found anyone mythic enough?

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quote:

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and you call yourself Hera? wife of Jupiter (sag) and you have jupiter in sag, I wonder how conscious that was?

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**Thank you for a very wonderful and insightful reading!!

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*previously Izo*

posted August 05, 2011 11:52 AM            

Yes, that is my chart. I don't have quincunxes in it. It's alright, the issues I have are all I can handle, anyway.
Lack of water... Hmmmm... Well, the thing is that I have 7 Fire planets and one planet in every other element. So I have 3 singletons:
-Venus (earth, who's also unaspected, angular and dignified, so extremely strong)
-Saturn (water, who's my chart ruler and I relate to him probably the most, so again very strong)
-Pluto (air, who rules my MC; not very visible from a shallow look into my chart, but I'm very Plutonian, so again a very strong planet).

posted August 05, 2011 12:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amowls**:
You're picky, nothing wrong with that. Dont beat yourself up for not finding anyone special. You're not even 30 yet, there's plenty of time to start a family still.

In any case, when you're 35, your progressed Sun will be conjunct Venus. That's a sure sign of finding someone.

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posted August 05, 2011 12:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bethcarliseh:
Im the same as you Hera. Anyone that I have ever been with, I am like, not really that excited. It is like, well I guess I can make the best of it.....

To me, everyone is the same. There aren't really any people who stand out from the pack no matter how different they try to dress themselves up as.

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Well, that's just the thing, I don't want to settle for "as good as I can get"... Not anymore. It's not like I don't apreciate them at all, quite the contrary. Uh... I think I just have an intimacy issue and flip out thinking they're not good enough just so I wouldn't have to deal with that.

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*previously Izo*

posted August 05, 2011 12:20 PM            

You may be right, that people don't love so intensely. But it's kinda weird if you think about it, since so many are in search of that life-altering, earth-shattering soulmate meeting... Perhaps it's too intense and we run away scared. I know I feel like that sometimes.

Well, the Sag gave me access to his chart, in an attempt to convince me that we belong together. And I must say, it doesn't look all that bad, his Sun had to be exactly on my Moon-Neptune-SN... (even though the arguments are quite intense and exhausting, Mars square Mercury, thank you very much). The composite is even sweeter, lots of Pluto trines.
Take a look at the synastry.

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*previously Izo*

posted August 05, 2011 12:31 PM            

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*previously Izo*

posted August 05, 2011 12:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Benedict Moon*:
I agree with Dysfunctionalmystic that the combo of the Moon/Neptune conjunction in Sag and the Aries planets (especially Mars) is looking for something that's difficult to find. You're right that you can't put all the blame on the Unaspected Venus, but it definitely doesn't help things better when you believe you're seriously flawed to begin with.

I actually have Moon/Neptune aspect (along with Mercury/Neptune) and an Aries Mars too, and while I don't think I put people on pedestals....I have tried to find the best in the worst people in the past and it always flopped. Hence, I am very choosy these days too.

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posted August 06, 2011 11:29 AM            

But I had this dream, could be called a nightmare. It started with two men entering my house through the window, me running away, at some point I ended up on a roof top and there was blood at my feet, but it didn't touch me and it wasn't mine. I kept running and at some point I ended up in a man's arms. It was a nice, protected feeling and I felt safe. I thought it was the Sag, but when I took a better look at him, it wasn't him at all and I was disappointed. So I left again, running to find him, confused. Then I woke up.

I hope it doesn't mean that he's not what he appears to be. That would really be disappointing, because I'm 75% inclining to give this a go.

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*previously Izo*

posted August 06, 2011 12:45 PM            

It's hard to find a guy you really like. But don't doubt yourself so much. You will meet him, and you will probably have a sun-mercury-venus stellium with him (indicates the most loving relationship of ur life in composite) and lots of nice synastry, especially a mutual venus-pluto aspect, oh and uranus contacts to personal planets always help in making things seem natural . And you'll see that you'll find that guy who you're absolutely crazy about. Don't force it. You just have to keep meeting new people. If you're not meant to be, you're not meant to be. Synastry never lies when it comes to how two people feel about each other. I recommend Moonit.com Grupovenus.com and Astrograph.com for free synastry reports