posted October 16, 2011 07:17 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Xiiro
My moon wants structure and safety, badly. I don't care that much about challenges such as Mars would represent. Ego conflicts are not a huge thing in my life. I can handle them, pretty well. I handle them and walk away, with relative calm (even though it may not appear that way)
The hardest thing for me is feeling that things are never safe enough.
I crave safety. I wish I could bore myself in a little hole and stay there What would that mean in terms of the moon and Saturn, I assume. Thank you very much Xiiro.
I need to look at your whole chart, but in terms of Moon and Saturn, both are in positions which I expect would inspire these feelings.
Moon in the 8th can have a preoccupation with death or change and because the 8th deals with our internal space, the feeling of being alone inside your self feels like home. An unaspected Moon could get an uneasy sick feeling when faced with matters of change, death, or transformation. The Cancer/Lunar desire to build a stable secure home, constantly contends with the knowledge that nothing is truly stable, everything eventually dies.
Saturn close to your ASC and in a feminine sign seeks to rule your world through internal dictatorship. The laws you create are based on your own actions or the way other's actions effect you. Saturn is an extreme planet. In traditional Astrology, Saturn was the final planet. This planet is associated with a scythe because he represented death. In this way, Saturn will use any tactic available to make sure we do not color out of the lines.
In Scorpio, Saturn has something in common with your 8th house planets. It has the capacity to frighten, reprimand, and punish you with the same fear we experience in the face of death. Being close to your ASC, your Saturn believes your presentation is essential to your soul's survival. If you have learned to fear your ASC, in order to avoid Saturn reaching for his belt whenever you put your self on display, then your Saturn is not being a disciplinarian, it is being an abusive father.
The trick is, Scorpio sees things in black and white. You can either take the life path or the death path; there are two types of people in the world, good people and bad people; for dinner I'm either going to eat something healthy or something that is bad for me; etc... So it is possible Saturn looks at your personality and says, "When you present your self, you will either succeed or fail and almost only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades" (and you know he would say some crap like that cause he's an old timer). At that point, Cancer Moon likely says, "Oh..sweetheart, come back inside where it's warm. You don't have to go outside until you want to, just stay inside with mama".
Something I would add to this however is your DSC in Taurus. Here in California, we have roads which pass through grazing pastures. In order to keep the cows from just walking down the road and out of the enclosure, some farmers embed three metal bars across the road. When the cow decides it wants to leave the enclosure, it walks down the road until it reaches the opening an looks down. OH GOD!!! Three metal bars laying across the road?!? What the?? The cow is so unsure of the footing, it never attempts to cross. Hilariously enough, some farmers just paint three white stripes on the road, and the cows still won't chance it. Wherever Taurus shows up, this cautiousness can also exist. As the ruler of your seventh, the outside world can feel like a scary place which requires tasting before you decide you like it. The problem is, a couple bad bites, and that stubborn Taurus DSC could decide the whole meal is never worth ordering again. When it comes to the way you relate with your world and the people in it, Taurus will be inclined to follow the same routines which have always been comfortable. With Saturn opposing your DSC, that is an added energy saying, "You're right, better to just stay inside and hide your face. God only knows what people will say, there are nice people, but there are also really cruel people... I mean, look at all the negative things about you... you can seem so, well, needy sometimes... And your face is so round... Why is your face SO.. ROUND? I mean, it's weird right? Tell me I'm not right...". That Saturn can be a jerk.
It's possible your Moon's need for structure comes out of a Saturn imposed belief that there may be unknown things which could irreparably harm or dislike you. I think Saturn also calls on the cautious side of your DSC to support its claim. Taurus likes safety so doesn't have much of a problem agreeing. I would look to your Lunar Nodes, If the NN is in a sign which requires inclusion, society, extroversion, or publicity I would say, it is up to you to challenge the desire to retreat. For example, I have a strong dynamic in my chart between exploration of self, and exploration of others. My Sun is in the 8th house so I also feel at home alone inside myself. My NN is in Libra however, so that tells me I am being challenged to spend more time understanding my world and less time locked away inside myself, developing my self. If your NN is in a sign supporting your internalization, I believe there is a good reason for spending time alone. As long as you don't mind it and your Saturn is not dragging the rest of your chart around by it's face, then I don't see a reason to change. We all have different lessons for different reasons, maybe in a past life you were a person of great charity and compassion. Perhaps this lifetime is a nice vacation into learning to have charity and compassion for your self.
=)
Lindaland
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posted October 16, 2011 05:33 PM