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Topic: If someone tells u they loved you after 2 mnths would u believe them? Ur reaction??
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mintgirl123 Knowflake Posts: 2393 From: Registered: Nov 2009
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posted November 15, 2011 04:44 PM
I'm a virgo, so it takes me a longgg time before I get to that stage where I'm in love with a person (only happened once, and I've dated quite abit)...But it seems to be from my past experiences, guys just seem to tell me they love me way too early! (usually after a month or so =/) It makes me feel uncomfortable. I just think it's not possible to truly love sb in 2 months ya know? Love takes time and understanding.So here's the question: if you were dating somebody for 2 months and they said those words, what would ur reaction be? Would you say it back? How would you go about doing it? (ie looking them in the eye? Mumbling it? Looking down???) Being a virgo I don't really say things I don't mean so I usually just get really awkward when it happens lol! And obv won't say 'me too' or anything like that. Post ya asc, sun, moon and venus IP: Logged |
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5625 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 15, 2011 04:48 PM
i think 2 months is long enough....i'm like you where i dont say it unless i mean it, but i think 2 months is more than enough time to realize your in lovesun: scorpio moon: leo asc: gemini venus: capricorn ------------------ I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
fairaqua Knowflake Posts: 278 From: Registered: Feb 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 04:48 PM
Only having loved a couple in my life (im very picky) I can say if someone said that and I didnt feel the same I would dance around it.. kinda side step.I feel like I can pick out a true love over a silly love.. Possible after two months? The times Ive felt real love I could tell there was something special about them from the start. Asc: Virgo Sun: Aqua Moon: Aries Venus: Pisces
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mintgirl123 Knowflake Posts: 2393 From: Registered: Nov 2009
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posted November 15, 2011 04:50 PM
But love is about seeing their bad points and really getting to see the nitty gritty dark parts of a person. The first three months is the honeymoon period! You can't know them enough to 'fall in love'Maybe it's cos I take love really seriously?? Like the person I fell for, I knew he was different from the moment we met. But still, takes time to see everything clearer you know? IP: Logged |
Capriquarius unregistered
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posted November 15, 2011 04:51 PM
Guys often fool themselves into mistaking lust/Passion for love. There's this saying I like to go by: Men are quick to fall in love and slow to commit; women are fast to commit and slow to fall in love.Men are men, no matter what their planetary placements. I would believe he has strong feelings, but would still keep my guard up until he invests far more than mere words and embraces. IP: Logged |
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5625 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 15, 2011 04:51 PM
if a person isnt being the person they usually are then they arnt being true to themselves...and if they arnt being true to themselves in a relationship from the start then i dont want anything to do with that person------------------ I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
hannarama Newflake Posts: From: Registered:
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posted November 15, 2011 04:52 PM
Let's see... met my ex-boyfriend in May, hung out and began dating in June, broke up in July, began talking in August again (as friends) and he told me he loved me for the first time in October (or November). He said he'd been wanting to say it for a long time but didn't know how I'd react and I asked how long, and he said September (I call BS on that, 'cause why would you love me in September but not May, June, or July... but looking back now I call BS on the whole love-schpeel at all!). It was really flattering so I went along with it, but that's not how I work emotionally (Moon in Taurus). I need to feel very, very comfortable around you to even begin falling in love and being that comfortable takes longer than 2 months.Excuse my long winded answer. IP: Logged |
fairaqua Knowflake Posts: 278 From: Registered: Feb 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 04:59 PM
Well for me I find that I get to know someone a loooong time before even dating them.Im not going to know them for a week and go on a date.. thats awkward IP: Logged |
anongrl10 Knowflake Posts: 4557 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 05:00 PM
It has happened to me - to hear it in less than 2 months. At first I was like 'what!" but when I really thought about it it was not so unexpected after all. We were doing things as friends for a while and although I knew he liked me more than friends, he wouldn't make a move forward (lol another Cappie - the story of my life with these guys geez!). Then one night after dinner and while he was about to leave, I decided to say goodbye with a kiss! I puckered up, closed my eyes, and waited... waited... waited... (lol that's my Venus in Scorpio) After a few seconds, he gave me the best kiss ever! LOL The following morning I got flowers with an ILY note. One of my best relationships ever. In true Cappie fashion, he would plan ahead our evenings; he was quite outdoorsy and wanted me everywhere with him (not that I had any complains lol). Back with the program; yes, if they tell me they love me after 2 months, and I feel similar, I will believe them. The gauge is YOU; how you feel. If you feel nothing, then the man is seriously misguided. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4046 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 05:05 PM
Well.. yes. We said it in 12 days and we decided to get married in 22 days. So we have that 2 months beat. And it has lasted 19 years, so its not some fly-by-night thing, and so we meant what we said. My initials are ILY.. Seriously. So it's ILY, from ILY. Lust? There was no test driving. So I wouldn't have known. See and not touch was the game plan. She turned out to be porn star material though. Lol Slow to commit? I moved all my money into a joint account and named her the beneficiary of all my investment trusts even before the subject of marriage was raised. Sun Cappy, Moon Gemini, Venus Aquarius, Ascendant Pisces or Aries (whichever you believe), NN Cancer. Sun Leo, Moon Gemini, Venus Virgo, Ascendant Cancer, NN Aries IP: Logged |
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5625 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 15, 2011 05:08 PM
quote: Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways: Well.. yes.
the most simplistic answer ever ------------------ I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
Betty Boop Knowflake Posts: 3377 From: Betty Boop Land Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 15, 2011 06:46 PM
-What would ur reaction be?- Very neutral.. as though they told me something about the weather. I wouldn't take it very seriously. -Would you say it back?- Nope. - How would you go about doing it? (ie looking them in the eye? Mumbling it? Looking down???) - I wouldn't mumble. I would clearly say something like - "You're a nice person and I like you but from my perspective love is something that develops over time... and 2 months is a very short time.. so we barely even *know* each other".
quote: Being a virgo I don't really say things I don't mean so I usually just get really awkward when it happens lol! And obv won't say 'me too' or anything like that.
I'm not awkward about it when I do actually feel that way... but it takes me a long time to feel that way. I'm very emotionally expressive (Moon sextile Merc) but I don't lie. 2 months into things - telling someone you "love" them is not all that genuine imo Post ya asc, sun, moon and venus AC Gem/Cancer cusp Sun - Aries Moon - Capricorn Venus - Taurus Mars - Capricorn IP: Logged |
Betty Boop Knowflake Posts: 3377 From: Betty Boop Land Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 15, 2011 06:52 PM
YoursTruly - It's great that things happened so quickly for you guys and that you have made it work for such a long time But I think your story is both very lucky and very rare - and I don't like to take chances (Cap Mars). IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan Knowflake Posts: 1099 From: New England Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 07:00 PM
quote: Originally posted by mintgirl123: I'm a virgo, so it takes me a longgg time before I get to that stage where I'm in love with a person (only happened once, and I've dated quite abit)...But it seems to be from my past experiences, guys just seem to tell me they love me way too early! (usually after a month or so =/) It makes me feel uncomfortable. I just think it's not possible to truly love sb in 2 months ya know? Love takes time and understanding.So here's the question: if you were dating somebody for 2 months and they said those words, what would ur reaction be? Would you say it back? How would you go about doing it? (ie looking them in the eye? Mumbling it? Looking down???) Being a virgo I don't really say things I don't mean so I usually just get really awkward when it happens lol! And obv won't say 'me too' or anything like that. Post ya asc, sun, moon and venus
My reaction would be to say WHY? How come? And then to tell the truth and say I don't love you. There isn't a time line. If you mean it you say so, if you don't then no worries. I've had a proposal and I said NO! Someone I was seeing told me that they believed I was the one after 3 weeks and a few days later I broke up with them. We were clearly not on the same page. I know if I love someone in half a second. I don't even need days to know. For me love doesn't build it's simply discovered and allowed. I also don't believe in telling someone you love them because actions speak louder then words. Why tell you when I can just show you. And I don't want to be told, I want to see it and feel it and be consumed by it. Words just don't do it justice. Sun Libra, Moon Aries, Venus Leo, Ascendant Aquarius IP: Logged |
malicefey Knowflake Posts: 258 From: NY Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 07:13 PM
The first thing my guy friends tell me when a someone tells me "I love you" too fast is that the dude did it to get into your pants and he is an @$$hole.Strangely enough, I've never had a guy tell me he loved me in 2 months time, or anything less than that..until now. Just like you, I'm caught inbetween this whole deciding-whether-or-not-to-believe-him thing, and, just like someone else said, it's really more about how YOU feel. My current boyfriend, Sun Scorpio/Moon Aries/Mars Cap, said "I love you" to me earlier than 2 months. My first reaction? A laugh and a joke: "So, must be very easy for you eh? You say it to all the girls?". I can be harsh and cruel like that..but I guess he was a bit offended and told me he didn't and won't say stuff like that. Our problem is that I don't take him seriously sometimes. He has said it a couple of times..actually, more than the hands + feet can count and even until now, from time to time. Everytime he says it, it would become an awkward silence. Why? because like most of you, I feel love comes with time, after getting to know the good and the bad of that person, and certainly after you guys have atleast worked through some "obstacles" in life. Then, you'll look back and say, "Wow, you know, look what we've accomplished thus far! And I love you because of xxxxxx and that we were able to accomplish things together." Now, I didn't run away from him when he said it. Instead I was 100% honest with him. I told him that I feel there needs to be more understanding of each other before I can know if I love somebody. I can tell you I love you, just for the passion and that I'm IN LOVE with the happy moments we've had, but that wouldn't necessarily mean I love YOU. Love is not about passion or lust. If a guy tells you he loves you so early then later finds out "whoa, let me put the brakes on, this chick ain't what I thought she'd be" and stops, then you'd have a problem. I can't stress enough that love takes time..not time in total bliss and avoidance of problems but, rather, time you spend to work with each other in the relationship and the things you do for the relationship. Of course, there are exceptions to this. There ARE men out there who are CERTAIN of what they want and WON'T say such things unless they are CERTAIN. Why would a guy say something like that, risking to be ridiculed? I gotta say, it takes courage and b@lls to tell someone "I love you" and truly mean it. You are basically putting your heart out there on the table. The other person can take it or rip it into pieces. As for me, and probably for you, we'll leave it out there for a while longer, when the time is right and the feeling is right, and also when there's atleast some work put in to the relationship to make it worthwhile. He says he loves you right? Then he should work to show it also. Me - Sun/Moon/Mars Libra - Venus/ASC in Scorpio. Sorry for the novel-length explanation. ------------------ Sun Libra Moon Libra Mars Libra Mercury Scorpio Venus Scorpio Asc Scorpio IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4046 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 07:32 PM
quote: Originally posted by Betty Boop: YoursTruly - It's great that things happened so quickly for you guys and that you have made it work for such a long time But I think your story is both very lucky and very rare - and I don't like to take chances (Cap Mars).
Betty Boop, With the greatest of respect. I agree with you to the fullest extent. Having said that, laying down the ILY within the first few months is part of my modus operandi. I have walked away from countless women who have equivocative feelings. Honestly, I have ditched all women who couldn't have responded the ILY within a short period of time. Like malicefey above (she's my friend in real life, so no worries), I wouldn't take a non-answer. I would view a non-answer to be a waste of my time. Perhaps I'm unique for a man, because I have ditched many more relationships than I have been ditched. Besides my wife, I have had six serious relationships, all of which the ILY came out very quickly (in fact, I think 5 of 6 were indeed in two months). My intentions in each case were to work towards marriage. They didn't work out because of circumstances. Honestly, another factor is the type of women I like in general. They have all been super aggressive and frankly dominant Type A personalities. They would all have ditched me if I couldn't show them where they stood in my life in the first month or so. Two dates without affection and it would have been goodbye for good. One outright demanded sex on the first date. They've become bankers, a lawyer, a physician and a corporate CEO. Like I mentioned before, my wife also had five marriage proposals, in addition to mine. And five engagement rings to show for it, and I didn't have a ring on hand. Yes, six guys wanted to marry one woman who was uniquely marriage material. I wasn't going to be a losing sucker that waits around because of indecision. That's the Capricorn in me acting. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4046 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 07:36 PM
quote: Originally posted by malicefey: The first thing my guy friends tell me when a someone tells me "I love you" too fast is that the dude did it to get into your pants and he is an @$$hole.
They can just wait around patiently
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mintgirl123 Knowflake Posts: 2393 From: Registered: Nov 2009
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posted November 15, 2011 08:02 PM
quote: Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways: Betty Boop,With the greatest of respect. I agree with you to the fullest extent. Having said that, laying down the ILY within the first few months is part of my modus operandi. I have walked away from countless women who have equivocative feelings. Honestly, I have ditched all women who couldn't have responded the ILY within a short period of time. Like malicefey above (she's my friend in real life, so no worries), I wouldn't take a non-answer. I would view a non-answer to be a waste of my time. Perhaps I'm unique for a man, because I have ditched many more relationships than I have been ditched. Besides my wife, I have had six serious relationships, all of which the ILY came out very quickly (in fact, I think 5 of 6 were indeed in two months). My intentions in each case were to work towards marriage. They didn't work out because of circumstances. Honestly, another factor is the type of women I like in general. They have all been super aggressive and frankly dominant Type A personalities. They would all have ditched me if I couldn't show them where they stood in my life in the first month or so. Two dates without affection and it would have been goodbye for good. One outright demanded sex on the first date. They've become bankers, a lawyer, a physician and a corporate CEO. Like I mentioned before, my wife also had five marriage proposals, in addition to mine. And five engagement rings to show for it, and I didn't have a ring on hand. Yes, six guys wanted to marry one woman who was uniquely marriage material. I wasn't going to be a losing sucker that waits around because of indecision. That's the Capricorn in me acting.
Uh telling sb you love them should not have a time limit on it, and it's nothing about knowing what you want or being confused. Ditching sb bc they didn't want to lie and tell you sth that wasn't true? I'm sorry but that's just foolish. Personally, the likelihood is, the girls that respond with I love yous quickly are the ones that aren't genuine. You say you loved your wife in less than 2 weeks. I say that's not truly possible bc how many sides of a person can you actually see in two weeks? Sure your marriage went the distance, but it still doesn't negate the fact that love isn't sth that's fast to happen. At least not genuine love. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4046 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 08:30 PM
quote: Originally posted by mintgirl123: Uh telling sb you love them should not have a time limit on it, and it's nothing about knowing what you want or being confused. Ditching sb bc they didn't want to lie and tell you sth that wasn't true? I'm sorry but that's just foolish. Personally, the likelihood is, the girls that respond with I love yous quickly are the ones that aren't genuine.You say you loved your wife in less than 2 weeks. I say that's not truly possible bc how many sides of a person can you actually see in two weeks? Sure your marriage went the distance, but it still doesn't negate the fact that love isn't sth that's fast to happen. At least not genuine love.
Well, it is what it is. And that's the truth. I don't like indecision, and the girls I dated didn't look favorably on indecision from men. It is what it is. They are now all married, except one, and most are still good friends. At the end of the day, they all have had a marriage to show. The women in my life are obviously nothing like you, so don't begin to suggest that they are not genuine. You don't know them from Eve. I'm not saying its Cinderella. Its just a marriage, not the parting of the Red Sea! That's my story and I'm sticking to it. You are implicitly also dumping on my wife, but I'm going to let that slide because battles online are fruitless. Pity my wife doesn't like astrology or I'll get her to add her two cents. IP: Logged |
amelia28 Knowflake Posts: 2423 From: Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 08:40 PM
I am a virgo and I know if I Love someone in less than two months......I know quickly. Always have been this way. With every meaningful relationship I have had I knew in less than 2 months that I cared about them. I think if it takes you a long time to decide if you love someone probably you have some saturn aspects to moon or venus perhaps. Keep in mind every meaningful relationship I have had our synastry or composite is really intense.IP: Logged |
hannarama Newflake Posts: From: Registered:
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posted November 15, 2011 08:41 PM
I don't know... I know an Aries with a Moon in Gemini. I think he feels very passionately, but his moods change faster than the fastest thing you can think of. He also lies a lot for reasons I still have yet to comprehend 'cause they're at the most random of times. I think Geminis and Gemini placements don't lie to get what they want (all the time) but rather 'cause they're actually secretive signs. They like their privacy, imo.IP: Logged |
amelia28 Knowflake Posts: 2423 From: Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 08:43 PM
I have always said I Love you back after two months.....9 years later still care about my ex and still care about my husband and we have been together for over 4 years and still care about my aqua friend.IP: Logged |
mintgirl123 Knowflake Posts: 2393 From: Registered: Nov 2009
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posted November 15, 2011 08:43 PM
quote: Originally posted by amelia28: I am a virgo and I know if I Love someone in less than two months......I know quickly. Always have been this way. With every meaningful relationship I have had I knew in less than 2 months that I cared about them. I think if it takes you a long time to decide if you love someone probably you have some saturn aspects to moon or venus perhaps. Keep in mind every meaningful relationship I have had our synastry or composite is really intense.
But there's a difference btwn 'adoring' sb, caring about them and actual love? Imo? I just think love is quite a loaded word.
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malicefey Knowflake Posts: 258 From: NY Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 09:13 PM
quote: Originally posted by mintgirl123: But there's a difference btwn 'adoring' sb, caring about them and actual love? Imo?I just think love is quite a loaded word.
I do agree with you. I wouldn't want to say "I love you" and then not live up to it. If I were to tell someone that I love them, I would mean it. At the same time, I wouldn't JUMP to say it right off the bat without showing them first. It's fair to myself because if I can't show it then I can't possibly mean it, and it's also fair to the other person as he can also appreciate that I'm not just all talk and no walk. IP: Logged |
lindisfarne Knowflake Posts: 1108 From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 15, 2011 09:18 PM
I prefer not to hear those words. I've had my partner slip it out and catch himself afterwards. The word love is very extreme to me. I don't want to/like to hear it. I'd rather see it. That's more than enough for me.IP: Logged |